Lana hadn’t been like that at all. It had taken Aisline quite a bit of courage to get the nerve up to call her old best friend as she was unsure of the reaction she’d get from her. If Aisline had been thinking rationally, she should have known that Lana wouldn’t be put off by a little thing like Ash becoming a warrior. All Lana was concerned about was the amount of hot guys that she was going to miss out on seeing.
Aisline would be forever grateful for having Lana in her life. Lana was pretty old school when it came to most things, wanting nothing more than to get married and pop out a football team of kids. She wanted to follow in her mother’s footsteps, leading the life of a pampered woman of leisure. But as they say, opposites attract and Ash and Lana made a good team. Where Ash was the adventurous one, Lana kept her feet on the ground. Ash was always looking for something more, but Lana was happy with her lot in life. Plus, she had always been there for her when no one else was. That wasn’t something that Aisline was going to forget in a hurry.
Looking back over the short message, Ash was glad that Lana had refrained from asking her again how things were going with Jackson. Lana may be a bit ditzy on occasion, but she was deeper and smarter than most people gave her credit for. There were certain questions that Aisline wasn’t prepared to answer, and Lana knew that. It was a difficult conversation to get into. And, bless her little heart, Lana was the one that always tried to keep things light and happy, giving Ash a bit of light relief from everything she was going through.
Jackson was a bit of a sore point at the moment, and had been for a while. Hell, she hadn’t even seen him properly to even make an attempt to make things right between them. She thought that now the physical evidence of what had happened to her that night were fading away to nothing now, so hopefully his concern for her would also fade. But, he’d been out completing the punishment set by Kelton and she had barely seen him to say ‘hello’ to, let alone have a proper conversation with. It was infuriating. At this rate, they’d graduate before they even had another heart to heart.
Ash hated how things were with him. If only she could go back in time and stop herself from kissing him, then she would. That was the point that changed everything between them. They had been fine until their feelings had been thrown out into the open. If she could take it all back, she would.
Everyone was trying really hard around her to not talk about what had happened on the night of the field exercise. They were trying to carry on as if things were normal, all the while still treating her as if she were made of fragile glass. It wasn’t working on so many levels, but there wasn’t a whole lot she could do about it until she got back to training and proved that she wasn’t some helpless little girl. Unfortunately, people had long memories, more’s the pity.
“Hey.”
Ash looked up sharply, simultaneously switching screens from Twitter to Google. The last thing she needed was to get busted by a member of staff. Miss Reilly, who was usually in charge of the library, hated these modern notions and went completely bat shit crazy if resources were used for social media purposes as opposed to studying. It was actually quite amusing to see her going into a meltdown over things that everyone else took for granted in the modern world, but Ash just didn’t have the patience for it today.
The library had been deserted when she’d come in here. The rest of the trainees were off in the sparring rooms and it wasn’t like many people took the time to come in here to look up ancient books, especially when the place wasn’t even unpacked. And especially not when the internet was so easily accessible. Why spend hours going through dusty old books when you could find the answer in seconds at the tip of your finger?
Ash wasn’t like that. The library was her second home. If you wanted to speak to her, the first place to look would be the library.
Smiling up at Caleb, she wondered what he was doing in there. He didn’t really seem like a bookish kind of guy.
“You looked kind of lonely sat there all by yourself.” Caleb flashed her a quick, rare smile.
“I just wanted to be somewhere quiet.”
“Oh.” His smile faded. “I’ll leave you in peace then.”
He turned to leave and Ash immediately felt guilty. She hadn’t meant for it to come out as harsh as it had sounded. The poor guy was having a hard time fitting in at the academy and this was the first time that she had seen him voluntarily speak to anyone since he’d got there. He had spent the last few days with his head down, getting on with what he needed to do but staying apart from everyone else. It couldn’t be an easy situation for him, and now she was sending him packing. Ash felt like a royal bitch.
“No, wait. It’s fine. I didn’t mean that you have to leave.”
“I can go. I don’t want to interrupt you if you want to be alone.”
“No. Stay.” Ash smiled broadly, hopefully convincingly. “I’m not really in the mood for all of this anyway.” She waved a hand to indicate the laptop on the desk and the stack of unopened books next to it. “Aren’t you supposed to be training with the others?”
“Warrior Kelton gave me the morning off.”
Aisline raised her eyebrows in surprise. “He did?”
Caleb grinned suddenly, “Well, I’m actually supposed to be getting fitted for hand grips for some weapons, but I figured they could wait.”
“Oh, you’re going to be in so much trouble when he busts you.” Ash laughed.
“He’s not going to find out.” Caleb sounded so sure of himself, which simply made Aisline laugh more.
“Sure he will. Nothing happens around here without Kelton finding out about it.”
Caleb shrugged and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t really give a shit if he does. What’s he going to do about it? Nothing that could be any worse than all this, anyway.”
Aisline looked back down at her laptop, unsure what to say.
“What are you doing?” he asked as he edged closer, perching on the edge of the table.
“I’m supposed to be researching unsolved murders in the area. It’s an ongoing thing that we’ve got to do as part of our student studies here.”
“Why? What difference does that make?”
“I think that it’s supposed to get us angry. It’s to show us that there are more than just our own people to protect, more than the Matris that are being hunted down by the Mortuorum. Everyone is affected by their actions. I guess it’s to keep us motivated.”
“Motivated?” Caleb snorted.
“Yeah, motivated. By doing this, it’ll ensure that we want to keep their numbers down so that this kind of stuff doesn’t keep happening. It’s what we do. We’re the ones that will stop all of this madness from happening.”
Caleb didn’t look convinced.
“How are you finding it here?” Ash knew why he was finding the whole thing with the Mortuorum hard to understand. At least she had grown up in this community, hearing stories of the monsters that lurked in the shadows and legendary tales of the Sons of Satrina. She had come into this warrior business later and in much different circumstances than the others, but she still had a head start on it all over Caleb. He was coming into this more or less blind. It was hard to get riled up about an enemy that you knew nothing about.
“Finding what?”
“The academy. You know, life here, living with the rest of the guys. How is it?” she had the feeling that he was being deliberately obtuse.
Caleb didn’t say anything, simply shaking his head. He had stubborn glint in his soulful eyes, but Ash wasn’t going to let him get away with not talking about it. He had clearly come into the library looking for some kind of company and she was going to get his sexy ass talking whether he liked it or not.
“Come on. You’ve got to have some kind opinion on the place and the training.” When Caleb continued looking at her blankly, she said, “Well, how’s your brother finding things here?”
“Rees? He’s loving every second of it. He thinks it’s all one great big adventure.
” There was a bitterness to his tone that was hard to ignore.
“I’m guessing you don’t love it quite as much as him.”
“I can’t fucking stand it here.”
Finally. An answer. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” he snapped.
“Why don’t you like it here?”
“What’s to like about it?”
Damn, it was like pulling teeth. Painful. They were going to go round and round in circles if he kept giving her answers like that. She was just about ready to give up on him, and that wasn’t like Aisline at all. But, she had come into the library to get a bit of peace and quiet and the last thing she needed was a shifter in a bad mood getting smart with her. Shutting down her laptop, Ash pushed back her chair and made a move to leave.
“It’s just not the same, you know?”
Ash paused midway to standing. She didn’t actually expect him to say anything else, especially not in that tone of voice. She glanced over at him, but didn’t say a word.
“This isn’t the same way that I grew up. It’s taking a lot of getting used to. Everything’s different.”
She couldn’t walk away from him now. The Caleb that she had seen over the last couple of days was standoffish and focused only on what he was doing, not engaging with others around him. Now Ash could understand a bit better why. He was finding this way harder than he was letting on. It was a typical male thing, not wanting to show any signs of weakness.
Perching on the edge of the desk next to him, she put her bag and laptop back down. Thinking back to the days when she had first come to the academy, she realised that Caleb must have been feeling very alone. Sure, he had his brother here with him, which was more than she had, but the other guys had accepted her as one of their own. A Lamia Matris. Caleb wasn’t one of them. She had thought that the others were trying to get to know him, but now that she was really thinking about it, they weren’t trying hard enough. They worked with him and trained with him, but there was no effort at anything personal. Rees was coming on better with all the changes because he was so outgoing and ready to dive in and have a go at being friends with everyone. That wasn’t who Caleb was. The others were going to have to be the ones to take the first step.
Aisline felt rubbish. She had been moping about, thinking only of herself when, as a warrior, it was her duty to think of others. It was awful to think of the process that Caleb was going through without any real support to speak of. When she was done here talking to him, she was going to go and find Trey. He was a good guy and would see that they weren’t doing enough to help Caleb settle in to their way of life. If only she had taken the time to stop worrying about herself and see past that eye-candy exterior, she would have seen the struggle he was going through. Their situations were quite similar in a way and she knew that she would have to step up and do something about it.
“So, what was it like? Growing up in a pack?”
Caleb smiled. “Manic most of the time. There was always something going on. It’s not like a family in a conventional way. We’re all a family, whether it’s by blood or simply because we’re there to look out for one another. It’s family.”
“You must miss them.” Aisline didn’t pose it as a question. That much was now obvious. Being thrown in this new life was such a contrast to everything he had ever known.
“Yeah, I miss them.” Caleb cleared his throat. “I’ve never really been away from them. It’s all I’ve ever known. This is all kind of strange for me.”
“You need to give it some more time. It’s not so bad when you get used to it here.”
“Surrounded by bloodsucker’s twenty-four-seven?” he said incredulously before realising who he was actually speaking to. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“
Ash laughed. “Sure you did, but don’t worry about it. I won’t take it personally.”
Caleb grimaced. “No, really. I’m sorry. You’re the only one who has made any real effort to get to know me and I go and say something like that. I shouldn’t have been so rude.”
“Give the guys some time. Everyone gets so focused on training that they find it hard to remember to connect on another level. They’ve been doing this longer than you and the bond for them has grown over time. It’ll happen for you, too. They’re great when you get to know them all.”
“Difference is, they don’t want to get to know me.” Caleb snarled. From anyone else, that statement would have sounded pitiful, but from Caleb? Definitely not.
“Don’t judge them too quickly.”
“Why not? They judge me. I’m not like them. You know that.”
“We all know that, but we don’t all judge.”
“You don’t believe that.”
“You’re not like me and I’m not judging you on that. Are you judging me?” Aisline rolled her eyes.
“That’s different.”
“Different how?”
“Because you’re a girl and you’re hot. What’s not to like?”
He thought she was hot? Well, that was enough to momentarily throw her and make her blush like a beacon. But she couldn’t linger on that thought right now, even though it was sure to come back to haunt her later. For now, she had to try to get Caleb to give the other guys a chance to get to know him.
“Well, I don’t think that’s really fair. They’re not that shallow. We’re all working here towards the same goal. I can kick ass with the best of them and so can you. They won’t think any less of you just because you’re not the same as them.”
“Come on. You’re not that naïve.” Caleb laughed ruefully. “It’s not as easy as all that. At least you’re the same as them, even if you are a girl.”
“Don’t get so hung up on me being a girl. I train as hard as the rest of them. I think it’s you that’s holding yourself back, not them.”
“Because I’m a shifter?”
“Yes. You’re the one that’s judging.”
“Of course it’s because I’m a shifter. I’m not stupid.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not like they’re hostile towards me or anything like that. Not that I’d give a flying crap if they were.” Caleb was now posturing like a typical male, one man against the world. He stood up and paced for a moment before sitting on the desk next to her again. “But it’s not just because of that. I’ve grown up in a totally different life to you all. Hell, I don’t even know what we’re fighting for here. You all have this common goal, a common enemy. But, it’s not my enemy. Why should I give a damn? They’ve never done anything to me or mine, but here I am, learning to fight something that I really don’t care about.” Caleb’s voice rose as his frustrations began to show.
“Perhaps you should try some of this research. I know that they’re going to ask you to do it as part of your studies anyway, but it might give you an idea of what we’re up against. You might not be able to connect on a personal level like the rest of them, but reading about what the Mortuorum do is enough to get anyone’s blood boiling.” Ash slid one of her books over to him.
“I can’t see that helping much. Honestly? I really don’t care. It’s not my fight, so why should I?”
“You’ve got the mark now. It’s your fight whether you like it or not.”
“Well, I don’t.”
Aisline was quiet for a moment. She had no idea how to talk him around or help him out on this. This was really a job for the warriors, not her. It made total sense to her what he was saying. She could understand how he felt about it, and she knew that she would have probably felt the same way if she had been thrown into the mix with the shifters if the situation had been reversed.
“Don’t you ever just want to get out of here? Leave it all behind you? Forget about all the fighting and training?”
Aisline smiled sadly. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. This is way too powerful to ever walk away from.” She tapped the warrior mark on her temple, just the same as his. “And even if I could, I wouldn’t.”
“Why the hell not? Thin
k about the kind of life you could be having out there in the big, bad world. You could be out there being a normal teenager, having fun instead of all of this. Why should you be stuck here doing all of this when you weren’t even born to do it?”
Aisline finally snapped. “Because I care, that’s why. Because I don’t want what happened to me happening to anyone else. If I can stop just one person from going through what I did, then my job as a warrior has been worthwhile.” She slammed a hand down on the desk in a temper she hadn’t meant to unleash.
“Why? What happened to you?” Caleb smirked, thinking that it was going to be some dumb little incident of no consequence.
“I was kidnapped and tortured by the scum, that’s what. So, yeah. I have a big stake in this fight and a big reason to try and end them all.” She stabbed a finger at him as she spoke and grabbed hold of her bag, ready to get the hell away from him. It he wanted to be grumpy and sulky while he was at the academy and for the rest of his life, then that was his business. Who was she to stop him or help him? Stuff him.
“Shit! That was you?” Caleb grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving.
“So what if it was?” Ash snapped, roughly shaking his hand off her. Taking in a deep breath, her face and tone softened with some effort. “Seeing as it happened to the only female warrior, and I am the only female warrior, then yeah, it makes sense that it happened to me. And, that’s why I want to stop them. They can’t do that to anyone else.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“You weren’t to know.”
“But I should have realised and I shouldn’t have been so rude to you. I’ve heard stories about what happened, but I wasn’t sure how much of it was real.”
“Don’t believe anything you hear. No one knows what really happened out there.”
“No one?”
“No one.”
“You haven’t talked to anyone about what happened to you?” When Ash shook her head solemnly, Caleb sat forward, “You really should. Talking helps.”
“I’ve spoken to Kayleigh about it. She knows most of it. Not all of it.”
Dawn of a New Age: A Sons of Satrina Novel Page 16
