“It doesn’t really matter. Whatever it is I’m losing, I gain more from being a warrior.”
The doctor chuckled once again in a friendly manner. “You have always such amazing restraint on your emotions. It’s quite an ability to have. One that I also find frustrating.” She grinned at Ash to let her know that she wasn’t really mad at her.
“Just one of my many awesome abilities.”
“Seriously, though.” The doctor continued, “You don’t have to keep this all to yourself.
Admitting that you are affected by what happened to you isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s not about being a girl or anything like that. It’s about you going through some really shit times as a warrior.”
Aisline was a bit taken aback by Doctor Phillippe uttering a swear word, but once she got over the shock of it, she nodded. In theory, she understood everything that she was saying perfectly. In practice? Ash wasn’t a talker so nothing was going to change.
“If the mood takes me, I promise to come and find you.” Aisline grinned, knowing that was probably never going to happen.
“You do that.” Doctor Phillippe grinned back at her, knowing the same. She tapped a few keys on the keyboard in front of her. “So, how are things going with you and Jackson?”
Ash knew that she was trying to ask the question casually, like it was no big deal, but it was. Seriously? Did everyone know? How embarrassing.
The question actually bit deeper than she thought it would have. Probably harder than the rest put together. There was no way for her to answer it. She had no idea what was going on. It was a sore subject and one that she definitely wouldn’t talk about.
She had been waiting for Jax to make good on his ‘we’re in this together’ promise, but still nothing had happened. Ash had no idea what was going on and she was starting to lose patience with the whole situation. It was like there was a big brick wall between them and it was too big for either of them to scale.
“I guess you’d have to ask him about that.” She finally replied.
“Oh.” Doctor Phillippe flicked her short blonde hair behind her ear, refraining from commenting further.
Ash stayed quiet. That was a subject she was most definitely not discussing with anyone. She was mortified that it had even been brought up. The doctor must have got the message soon enough because she didn’t mention Jackson again and Aisline fled out of there as fast as she could.
Walking back down the corridor, she enjoyed the momentary silence. Most of the others were training or down in the gym, so the shouting and chatter was down to a dull roar at this time of day.
A door swung open as she walked by, making her jump.
“Are you okay?” Kayleigh asked as she popped her head out of the door.
Ash giggled, embarrassed, “You made me jump.”
“Sorry.” Kayleigh grinned, not looking the least bit sorry. “Marilyn told me that you had just left her so I thought I’d keep an eye out for you.”
“I’m just on my way to training now.” Ash explained.
“I won’t keep you. I just wanted to make sure that things were going okay.”
“I’m fine.”
Kayleigh looked at her for a minute before nodding. “I guess you are.”
Aisline grinned again before running off down the corridor. She needed to get changed and get down to the gym. Now that she was back into it, Ash couldn’t wait to get stuck in to the gym.
Kayleigh watched Aisline sprint away. She waited until the corridors were clear before she turned and made her way to the doctor’s office.
Chapter Twenty Three
“Yes?” Doctor Phillippe called out.
Kayleigh popped her head around the door and smiled apologetically when she saw that the doctor was busy with Marshall.
“It’s okay. I can come back later.”
“No, no. Come in, my dear.” Marshall said as he pushed himself to his feet.
“I don’t want to intrude if you’re busy.”
“Not at all. Marshall and I were just sharing a quick coffee break.” Marilyn smiled warmly.
“Can I get you anything, Kayleigh dear?” Marshall offered.
“A coffee would be great if it’s not too much trouble.”
“No trouble at all.” Marshall said as he bowed before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.
“Thank God you asked him for something. Bless him, that man is completely lost if he isn’t constantly kept busy.” Marilyn smiled, her tone showing the fondness she felt for the old man.
“He has spent his life serving others. It will take him a long time to adjust from that.”
“You’re right. Take a seat, Leigh. What can I do for you?”
Kayleigh glanced behind her to make sure that the door was closed completely before sitting down opposite the doctor. She didn’t know how to broach the subject. Clasping her hands in her lap, Kayleigh twiddled with the ring on her finger absentmindedly.
“I’m guessing that you haven’t just come here for a coffee and a friendly chat.” Marilyn Phillippe said. It was clear that something big was playing on Kayleigh’s mind. She could recall a time when she had looked so uncomfortable. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Is it Kelton? Is he feeling ill?” Marilyn couldn’t think what could be wrong.
“No, he’s fine, too.”
Silence filled the room as the doctor tried to think what could be so serious. It wasn’t like Kayleigh to be stuck for words like this. She didn’t want to rush her. She knew that Kayleigh would talk in her own good time when she was ready.
Marshall chose that moment to knock on the door and bring them both in a steaming cup of coffee each and a plate of expensive looking biscuits. He didn’t say a word as he served them both, but you could see the joy on his face at feeling useful. Marshall let the room without another word.
“Do you need some water?”
“I think I’m pregnant.” Kayleigh blurted out.
“Oh.”
“I mean, I’m not. Well, I could be. I think I am.”
“Right.” Marilyn looked taken aback. This was not what she had been expecting to hear. “Do you want me to do a test for you now? That way you can be entirely sure what is happening.” The announcement had thrown her, but she was a doctor through and through and always fell straight back into her medical role, saving emotions for later. Luckily, that seemed to be just what Kayleigh needed right now.
“I don’t know.”
Tears flooded Kayleigh’s eyes. The confusion and the fear of the situation were getting all too much for her to cope with. She had been through all of this in her human life and thought that the option of more children was long behind her. She had no idea that this was even possible for her. It wasn’t widely known if the Lamia Mortuorum could actually get pregnant, or carry a baby to full term. She had no idea what to do, what to say or what to expect. Even though Marilyn was one of her very best friends and had been for a good many years, she still had no idea that Kayleigh wasn’t like her.
Doctor Phillippe walked around the desk and put an arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her as she sobbed. “Does Kelton know about this?”
“No.” Kayleigh hiccupped. “Not yet. I couldn’t…”
“Look.” Marilyn pulled her hands away from her face and made her look at her. “We’ll do the test. It’s nothing. It’s very quick and simple. A urine sample, that’s all. And then you’ll know for sure. Okay?”
An errant tear leaked from the corner of Kayleigh’s eye as she tried to blink back the rest of them. “Okay.”
The doctor walked back around to the other side of the desk to grab what she needed. Obviously, pregnancy tests weren’t something they needed all that often at a facility such as this where it was predominantly male, but they still had everything there that they needed. She wanted to get this over and done with as quickly as possible so that she could help Kayleigh move forward. It was obvious how ne
rvous she was feeling about the results.
“Here.” She passed Kayleigh a small plastic cup. “All I need from you for the time being is a urine sample.”
Kayleigh looked at the little plastic beaker like it was going to grow teeth and bit, hesitantly holding it in her hand. She had to do this. She had to know for sure.
Closing her eyes and bracing herself against the arm of the chair, she slowly made her way over to the bathroom. It was a good job that Marilyn didn’t say anything to her because her nerve would have failed her and she would have gone running out of the room. But, she knew she had to do this.
This was one of the scariest moments of her entire life.
As she sat on the toilet and did what she needed to do, Kayleigh fought back the tears again. How could this have happened to her? They didn’t think that it was even possible. She and Kelton hadn’t ever discussed having a family because they didn’t think that it was an option for them. This was something that had never crossed her mind. She’d thought she’d had her time.
Kelton thought that it was bad enough that she still kept such a close eye on her family from her human life. He thought that a clean break would have been easier for her to deal with, but that maternal bond was too strong for her to walk away from it.
Even now, as she watched her children and grandchildren grow, it was worth the pain to see them blossom. Her family was thriving and she couldn’t be happier for them. Kayleigh was so grateful that her ‘death’ hadn’t broken them. Of course, they mourned the loss of her, but they were strong enough to carry on and they made her feel so proud.
How would Kelton feel about having a child of his own? It wasn’t something they had ever talked about because they didn’t think that it was possible for them, but had he ever thought about it? Was there ever a point in his life when he thought about becoming a father?
What if he hadn’t? What was she going to do then? There was no way she would ever consider having a termination. That wasn’t something she believed in, not for herself anyway. If that was the case, then she would have to seriously think about her options. Would she leave Kelton in favour of becoming a mother once again?”
She didn’t want to go back out there to Marilyn. Her mind was running a mile a minute and all she was doing was freaking herself out more.
She knew that she couldn’t put it off a moment longer. Taking in a deep breath, Kayleigh walked out of the bathroom with her head held high and wordlessly handed the sealed container over to the doctor.
“The results should be almost instantaneous.”
Kayleigh closed her eyes again. She couldn’t pray or anything like that for she didn’t know what she wanted the results to be. If she was pregnant, it could change everything. If she wasn’t, that seed had been planted in her head and heart and she would mourn the loss.
“It’s positive.”
Kayleigh’s eyes flew wide open. Positive? Positive? She was pregnant? Really pregnant? It amazed her, the feeling of jubilation ran through her body and mind. She was having a baby. Pregnant. She was having Kelton’s baby.
“How do you feel about this?” Marilyn asked, unable to read anything from Kayleigh’s stunned expression.
A slow smile started to spread across her face. “I feel… good. Really good, actually.”
Marilyn let out a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding in and grinned happily. “Well then, I think congratulations are in order. I’d crack open the champagne, but you can’t drink it.”
Kayleigh wiped a tear from her cheek. “I can’t believe it.” She almost said that she couldn’t believe she was going to be a mother again, but Marilyn knew nothing of her history.
“How does Kelton feel about the prospect of becoming a father? Have you ever discussed this with him?”
“No. It’s all a bit of a surprise to be honest.” Kayleigh chuckled despite the fear she felt over telling him. She had no idea how he was going to respond to the news. It wasn’t just about him becoming a father, it was the baby. What would it be? Matris? Mortuorum? Or human? This had never happened before and they would have no idea what to expect.
She didn’t want to think about that right now. It was all too much and she wanted to concentrate on her happiness, however short lived that was to be.
“I think I’d better get going.” Kayleigh said as she got up.
“Let me know how you’re feeling and we’ll arrange another appointment for in a couple of days when you’ve got your head wrapped around the idea. It’ll give me time to get some things together for you. We’ll determine how far along you are and work out the dates. I can see that you are not quite ready for all of that yet. You’re still looking rather shocked.” Marilyn grinned.
Kayleigh laughed. “Thank you. I don’t think I could take any of that in right now.”
“Well, we’ll give you a few days before we get stuck into all the practical stuff.”
Kayleigh paused at the door, “You won’t mention this to anyone, will you?”
“Of course not. Patient confidentiality, remember?”
“Thank you.” Kayleigh closed the door behind her and rested her head against a cool wall.
A baby.
Who would have ever thought that was possible?
It was a miracle.
Chapter Twenty Four
Training was, once again, beyond exhausting. After having that time off, Aisline was finding it hard going getting back up to speed. Luckily, the guys she was with encouraged her to keep on going and it wasn’t in her nature to give up.
Walking out of the sparring room, Ash was nearly hobbling, she was that tired. Being last out of the room, she clicked off the lights as she went by and abruptly tripped over one of the bag of gloves that had been left out.
“Ouch!”
She landed on the floor in a heap, clutching her ankle. She knew that it wasn’t badly damaged, but the initial shock of it hurt like a bitch.
“Ash?” A voice called out in the dark.
Great. The last thing she needed is someone seeing her sprawled on her backside.
“Ash? Are you in here?”
It was Jackson. She wasn’t sure whether to call out or not.
The decision was taken out of her hands when the overhead lights flickered on and he glanced down at where she was laying on the floor.
“Why did you stay quiet? What happened?” he crouched down next to her and moved her hand to so he could look at the damage.
“I fell over a bag.”
Jackson tried to hold back a grin, unsuccessfully.
“It’s not funny.”
“It’s quite funny.” Jackson laughed. “I can’t see any damage but I think you should get it checked out, just in case.”
“I’m fine.”
“Let’s see you stand and walk then.” He said as he stepped away from her and waited with his arms folded across his chest.
Aisline felt a spike of anger within her. He was doing this just so he could see her fall flat on her face. When had he got so mean? That was the kind of thing Denver would do to make you look stupid, not Jackson.
Well, she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. Bracing herself on the wall, Aisline turned her features to stone so that there would be no tell-tale grimace and hauled herself upright. Her ankle hurt like hell and she would have much rather sink back down to the floor and stay there, but she had a point to prove now.
“See? Fine.” She said stubbornly.
Jackson frowned and stepped forward. “It’s obvious you’re not fine. It clearly hurts, so why won’t you accept my help? What are you trying to prove?”
“I’m not trying to prove anything.” She replied unconvincingly.
“Well, if you carry on, all you’re going to do is more damage. Let me help you.”
“No.”
“Dammit, Ash.”
She swung around to face him, temporarily forgetting the pain. “What’s your problem, Jackson? Why can’t you just leave me the
hell alone?”
He stepped back like he had been physically slapped. “What?”
Aisline was on a roll now, the pain and anger was urging her on. “You can’t keep doing this. You’re like a yo-yo. One minute you’re there for me and then the next, you’re nowhere to be found. Well, I’m fed up of it. You don’t want me, I get it. Well, fine. Get the hell out of here. I don’t need you. I can do this on my own.” And she hobbled forward, leaving Jackson standing open mouthed in the sparring room.
As she got out into the corridor, the realisation of what she just said hit her and she felt terrible. The last thing she had wanted was a confrontation with Jackson and she had royally blown it this time. There was no taking those words back now. He’d never speak to her again.
The pain in her ankle ranked up a notch and she limped slowly towards the stairs. How she was going to get up them, she didn’t know.
“What the hell was that all about?”
She turned her head to see Jackson approaching fast looking like a bull in a china shop. He didn’t give a damn who he barrelled past as he focused on Aisline.
“Just leave me alone, Jackson.” She said in a quiet voice. She didn’t want to argue with him. Not here. Not now. Not ever.
“No! What the hell was that?”
“Jackson, I think you should cool it.” One of the other trainees came up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“I suggest you take your hand off of me before I snap it.” Jackson growled.
That was what got Aisline’s attention. He never spoke like that. He didn’t act like that. Turning to look at him, it was like looking at a stranger. There was a difference in him that she didn’t notice before. He looked older, more self-assured. The changes in him were subtle, but they were there. And, right now, he was that mad he was shaking.
“Okay, okay.” The trainee back up away.
“Aisline. What’s going on with you? Why won’t you let me help you?” he demanded, his voice a low grumble.
“I can do it myself. I don’t need you looking after me.” She repeated what she’d said before, but this time with feeling, not anger. It was true. She could look out for herself.
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