by D. Kelly
“Do what, exactly?”
“This,” he says, pointing between them. “A relationship. It’s not my thing, but fuck me, Belle, I want it with you … so fucking much.”
Her eyes are brimming with tears, and even though I feel like we’re intruding on a private moment, I’m so happy I get to see this.
“Me, too,” she whispers. “I want this with you and only you.”
Darren pulls her into a hug and Noah smiles at me. Belle holds on to him for less than a minute before pulling away. “What about the baby?” she asks with baited breath.
“Our baby is going to be the cutest kid in the fucking world, and your pregnant waddle is going to be so damn adorable.” Belle jumps up and runs into the other room. Darren looks to us. “Did I say something wrong?”
“I’ll be right back!” she yells out, and Darren releases a loud exhale. When she comes back, she’s holding her hands behind her back and smiling.
“Close your eyes,” she tells him firmly, and he complies. She positions herself in front of him and holds up the ultrasound level with his eyes. “Open them.”
Darren’s eyes open wide as he realizes what it is he’s looking at. “Our baby’s first photo. Noah, did you see this? That’s my kid!” he exclaims proudly. Noah stands and pulls Darren into a big man hug.
“I did. Congratulations, man, she’s going to be perfect.”
“She? Is it a girl?” he asks.
“We don’t know yet. Mel and I think it’s a girl.” Her excitement brings a smile to Darren’s face.
“She’ll be the prettiest baby ever. Dude, my parents are going to shit themselves. They’ll be so excited.”
“Your dad’s family will just shit,” Noah points out, and Darren laughs hysterically.
“Hell yeah, they will. Wait ‘til they hear I’m going to bring another interracial baby into the family. My cousins are cool with it all. Just my grandparents are the stuffy ones and they’ll be dead soon enough.”
“Darren!” Belle chastises him.
“What? It’s true. They’re like ninety or some shit. It’s not like I’m wishing them into the grave … they’ve already got one foot in.”
Noah laughs and clutches his stomach. “His grandpa volunteers with the fire department and his grandma runs like five different charities. They aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.”
Belle shakes her head and holds back her laugh. But then, Darren falls to one knee and pulls out a box, opening it to reveal a sparkling ring.
“Put that away,” Belle tells him before he even gets started, leaning down to close the box. Darren pops it back open and she closes it again.
“Marry me,” he spits out as he pops the box back open.
“No,” she says firmly.
A quizzical look passes over his face, but he’s determined. “Why not?”
“Because this isn’t 1920 and I don’t need a man to marry me for appearances. Marriage should be about love and only love.”
“Monogamy.”
“Well, of course.”
“For family,” he adds.
“In some instances,” she replies.
“We’re going to be monogamous, we already are and have been for three months now. We’re a family in the making, and my feelings for you are different than I’ve ever felt for anyone else. I’m sure it’s because I love you, because I know damn well I don’t ever want to be without you.” His emphatic confession pulls at my heartstrings, and from the way Belle’s hand goes immediately to her belly, I think he’s pulling hers, too.
“I don’t want to be without you, either.”
“Marry me.”
“No,” she repeats.
“Promise you’ll think about marrying me?” he asks softly, and she nods. Then Darren slides the massive ring onto her ring finger.
“I didn’t say yes,” she tells him as she starts to take the ring off. His hand covers hers, holding the ring in place.
“Not yet, but you will one day. That can be your promise ring until you say yes.”
Belle closes her eyes and exhales loudly. She knows how to pick her battles, and I think Darren may have just crossed into no man’s land.
“And what do I tell people when they ask about this ring? Because people will see us together and assume, then they’re going to ask a lot of questions.”
He laughs. “And you don’t think they’re going to ask questions when you’re about five months pregnant and I’m constantly rubbing your belly? Get over yourself, Belle. Tell the world you’re having my baby because I know I will.”
“Are you serious?”
“Hell yeah. You sure you don’t want to marry me now? It will make a much better story.” His playfulness is such a change from how he stormed out of here earlier.
She rolls her eyes. “I’ll think about it.”
“Fine. Now, will you come to my room so I can persuade you to think about it in ways that don’t include using my mouth for talking?”
“Get my bags, they’re on the bed.” She hugs me and Noah goodbye while he collects her things.
“I’m so happy for you,” I tell her as she hugs me.
“Me, too. You’re going to be an auntie.”
“And you’re going to be an uncle,” she tells Noah as she hugs him. He looks pretty happy about that. When Darren comes back, Noah follows them out and locks the door behind them.
About an hour and three orgasms later, we’re curled up together in bed. My eyes are drooping, and I’m barely awake when Noah whispers in my ear, “Someday we’ll make a beautiful family, Mel. I’m planting the seed now so in a few years when I bring it up again you’ll remember this night and know how long I’ve wanted that future with you.”
My heart flutters in a way I wish I could ignore, but if I’m ever going to hope for a future like this, Noah is the only person I’d ever want it with. Not knowing how to respond, I tell him the only thing I can so he knows I’m with him, even if I’m not ready.
“I love you, Noah.”
He tucks me closer into his body. “I love you, too.”
Belle’s Thanksgiving Announcement
Slammers!
After an unexpected and super exciting weekend trip to Las Vegas, I’m back home in the City of Angels. So much has been going on in the lives of BAD lately, it’s hard to keep up! This is just a quick reminder post for you that our winner for the BAD holiday video show will be picked later this afternoon. If you haven’t entered yet, what in the world are you waiting for? The lucky winner and their guest will be spending the evening at a table with myself, Amelia Greyson, and Anna Smith. Who better to fill you in on everything BAD than the women behind the scenes? Other than the Bastards themselves, that is. Plan on this being a quiet week for updates. I’m off to spend the holidays with friends and family and I hope you’re all doing the same. Of course, if there are any major BAD updates over the holiday, we’ll be the first to bring them your way.
Happy Thanksgiving Slammers!
Don’t forget, live today like there’s no tomorrow!
Xs and Os,
Belle
Home Sweet Home
“I’m so ready for this vacation!” Darren yells as he exits his bus.
Sawyer snickers loudly. “You’re just ready for six months of condom-free sex.” Darren flips him off and keeps walking toward the SUV waiting for him, Warren, and Wyatt.
“You did notice he didn’t deny it,” Wyatt says, patting Sawyer on the shoulder as he gets off the bus.
“Of course he didn’t. Who wouldn’t be excited to have sex without a condom? They’re a pain in the fucking ass.”
Noah looks at Sawyer as he heads back onto the bus and asks, “So are kids. Which would you rather have?”
Sawyer laughs and shakes his head. “Not a kid, that’s for sure.”
“That’s what I thought,” Noah answers with a laugh as he disappears inside.
“What ab
out you, Princess? What do you think about the baby on its way?” Sawyer’s question catches me by surprise. Not really because of the question itself; just because we haven’t been talking much.
“I’m happy if they’re happy. I’m just glad it isn’t me.”
“What, you don’t like kids?” he asks, obviously surprised at my answer.
“I like kids as much as the next person. I just like them better when they have their own parents to go home to. I’ll be a kickass aunt, though, for sure.”
He shakes his head and pulls me to the side of the bus. “Does Noah know how you feel about kids?”
“Good God, Sawyer, I don’t hate kids. I’m just not ready for any of my own, and yes, Noah is very aware of that fact.”
He releases a breath and seems relieved. “Okay, good. I’d hate for him to finally have the girl of his dreams and have it go bust over a missed discussion. I’ll see you guys in the car.” He walks away as Noah steps off the bus.
That was weird.
“What was that about?” Noah asks.
“Nothing, just Sawyer being brotherly.”
“Is that a good thing?” he asks hesitantly.
“For you, yeah. He loves you. Come on and take me home. I need to be drunk for the next twenty-four hours until I have to meet all your family.”
Noah laughs and kisses me on top of my head as we walk to the car. “They’re going to love you, and you’ll love them, too.”
Noah holds my hand all the way to his house, squeezing it every so often in reassurance. It’s like he knows I need to feel wanted. It’s strange being home and not having my own home to go to.
After we get out of the car, he leads me inside of the house. It’s even prettier in the daylight. The sun glimmers atop the water, reflecting a million rays of light dancing on top of the waves. It’s not early enough for dolphins and whales to be playing, but Noah says if I’m up as early as I am on tour, I’ll definitely see them from his bedroom window in the morning.
When he opens his bedroom door, the first thing I see is an eight by ten photo Belle took of the two of us next to his bed. “Noah! When did you get that?” I ask, pointing to it.
“Anna made it for us and brought it when she came down last night.”
“For us?” I repeat, and he pulls me in close.
“This is your room for now. What’s mine is yours. Besides, if you think I’m going to let you go easily after the tour is over, you’re mistaken. After almost a year in my bed, I figure when the tour is over you should just move in here with me.”
“Noah …”
“What, Mel? What is the problem?” His frustration is showing. The last thing I want to do is kick off this week with a fight. Especially since this is an important week for me to be documenting for the story.
“Nothing,” I say, placing a quick kiss against his lips. “I’m fine. I’m just going to go take a walk and enjoy some sunlight. I’ll be back in a bit.”
He looks like he wants to say more as I take my sunglasses out of my purse, but he doesn’t. I’m glad. I just need to get some air and think for a while. I was only here the one time back on that August night, but I remember my way down to the beach.
It’s cold down here, but I grabbed a blanket from the couch on my way out, expecting it would be. After walking a little way down the beach, I wrap myself up in it and sit down. It’s so peaceful here. The only sounds are the seagulls crying and the waves crashing against the shore. It’s the perfect place to try and figure out what is going on inside of my head.
The last few months have passed at warp speed. I’ve been so wrapped up in Noah and the band, I haven’t even thought about my upcoming book tour. And even though I’m building a great timeline with photos and memories from the tour, I haven’t started their book yet. Which isn’t a huge worry since it’s not due to the publisher until a year after the tour wraps up, but I feel like I’m slacking. I just want it to be perfect, and I’m scared my relationship with Noah will compromise the story.
I really want to bring to light the Sara situation, even if I can’t name her. If the fans can see how their favorite celebrities are stalked and taken advantage of, I think it will go a long way into understanding just how much people give up for their craft. And if it can bring awareness to a touchy subject, all the better. I’m just not sure they’ll go for bringing this into their story.
As my fingers dredge through the sand, the tiny grains sifting through my fingers, I keep hoping my mind will slow. Work will always be there, but my biggest issue right now is the way I feel about Noah. I love him—more than I ever loved Eli—and it terrifies me. It’s only been a few months and things still have so much time to go wrong. I’d known Eli for a year before I realized I was in love with him. How can I love Noah more, so much quicker? If he leaves me, it will destroy me. Yet, every time he talks about the future, it makes me want to run and I can’t figure out why. At some point, if this is going to work between us, I have to start acknowledging the big things. Like eventually moving in together.
“Is this seat taken?”
Sawyer.
“It’s a public beach.”
“Actually, it’s not.”
“Figures.”
“If you had Sara chasing after you, you’d be glad it was private, too.”
“True,” I answer, glancing at him, but his sunglasses are hiding his eyes as he looks out at the sea.
“He loves you,” he says softly, almost as if the words hurt to say.
“I know,” I answer on a sigh. “And I love him, but …”
“He’s moving too fast.”
“Yeah, I guess maybe that’s it.”
“Noah has been ready for the rest of his life for a while now. He’s always loved being part of the band, but if he had it his way, we would have quit a few years ago. After all the Sara shit happened the first time. Maybe to you he seems overly eager, but he’s just excited to finally move on to what he’s wanted all along.”
“A family.”
“Bingo. You know, Princess, you and I aren’t so different. It takes us longer to let people in, but once we do, it hurts like a bitch to let them go.”
I scoop up a handful of sand and let it funnel through my fingers while his words sink in.
“I don’t want to let him go. I just don’t know if I can give him what he wants.” Why I’m confessing my thoughts to Sawyer, I’ll never know, but it does feel good to talk them out.
“Look, I’m not one to give advice, but Noah is different. If you can’t give him what he wants, do us all a favor and break it off now. I know my brother and he’s in this for the long haul. Forever, if you’ll have him. He won’t break your heart, but you could easily break his. Marriage and a family have always been his dream. What he’s saved and built up for his whole life. And to be honest, I’ve never seen him fall for someone the way he’s fallen for you. You’re his heart, Princess. Try not to break it.”
“How do you know?”
Sawyer turns to me with a sad smile. “Because he told me. But even if he hadn’t, I know my brother, and I’ve never seen him this happy.”
Sawyer stands and bends down, placing a kiss on the top of my head before he walks away. Now I feel worse than when I came down here.
As the sun warms me up a bit, I ball up the blanket and put it under my head, quickly falling asleep.
When a darkness falls over me, I pry my eyes open. Noah is standing above me, throwing a shadow over my body. A sexy smile peeks up from the corner of his mouth as I reach for my sunglasses. Once they’re on, he takes a seat next to me as I sit up and brush the sand from the backs of my arms.
“I’m sorry,” he says, turning toward me. “I didn’t mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable. That was never my intention, Mel.”
The thing about Noah is there’s never anything but sincerity in his words. I’ve never met anyone who is so utterly sincere all the time.
“It’s okay. I’ve been down here doing some thinking.”
“And sleeping,” he throws in, and I laugh.
“Yes, and sleeping, but even in my sleep I was dreaming of you. So my subconscious was still thinking even if I took a timeout.”
“Come to any conclusions?”
As I lace my fingers through his and squeeze, I rest my head on his shoulders. “Yeah, I think so. I know I love you and I want to be with you. Thinking about the future is scary, but thinking about a future without you … it’s terrifying.”
“So what does that mean, exactly?” he asks with a hopeful lilt in his voice.
“It means I’m going to go with the flow. Is it absolutely crazy to think about moving in together in a year? Completely. But could I picture getting off that bus and moving somewhere without you? No, I can’t.”
He squeezes my hand and rubs his thumb over my ring finger. I’m going to try not to read anything into that. Enough freaking out for today.
“I know this seems like we’re moving fast. Especially for you, when you weren’t looking for love.”
“Maybe a little.”
“What do you believe in, Mel? Do you think people are meant to be together? That you fall in love with someone for a specific reason?”
“Like divine intervention?” I ask, trying to narrow down the topic a bit more.
He chuckles. “Maybe if you consider divine intervention like fate.”
“I know you put a lot of faith into fate, but honestly, I’m not sure.”
With a sigh, he kisses my forehead. “I’ve met a lot of women over the years. Some I’ve connected with on one level or another, but you’re the first I’ve ever felt like this with.”
“Do you think there’s more than one person out there for everyone? That you can have these sparks with someone else?”
“Without a doubt,” he answers firmly.
“Wow, that’s … comforting,” I reply with a pout, and he laughs.
“Come on. If you think about it, there has to be. People break up, lose touch, are separated by any number of reasons, including death. Yet, somehow, they will eventually love again if they’re open to it. There has to be more than one person out there for us. But finding one of them and making it work … those are the stories you hear of … people who are married for fifty years. The epic romances. Sometimes, the work isn’t in the relationship, but it’s spent in the time before the relationship, when you’re still looking for the one who completes you.”
