by Styles, T.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
The men attempted to cover my body which was lying on the floor.
“Yeah…we good,” the light-skin man said. “Uh…can we get some clean sheets?”
He was trying to get rid of her.
“What is wrong wit door?” the woman persisted, noticing the door was ruined.
“We’ll pay for it,” one of the men said. “If you could just bring us the sheets that’ll be good.”
The woman left and I was terrified.
“This nigga makin’ all that noise and now she saw our faces,” the light skin man said. “Yo, Aven, you gotta finish the job.”
Who was Aven? I thought. Without warning, the man in the uniform walked up to me and hit me in the face. I went into complete darkness.
When I woke up, I was in the passenger seat of a black Honda and Kelsi was in the driver seat. It was dark outside and we were somewhere I wasn’t familiar with. When I lifted my head, I was in so much pain I laid my head back against the headrest.
“What you doin’, Kenosha?” he asked, looking ahead at the dark road in front of him. “I mean…what were you doin’?”
“I…don’t understand what you asking me,” I told him holding my jaw.
“I said what the fuck you doin’, Kenosha?” he asked looking at me. There was a blank expression on his face. He looked crazy.
“I…I…met Jarvis, and by the time I realized who he was, it was too late.”
“Too late?” he repeated. When I looked down, I saw his hand was on the handle of a gun. “So you run ‘round town with my mother’s killer, and you ain’t say shit to me ‘bout it?”
“Kelsi, please,” I said softly. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me. A whole lot. And I wannabe honest with you about everything. I know it’s too late for me. But I want to be real with you…now.” His complete silence gave me the permission I needed to continue. “I’m not who you think I am.”
“I know,” he smirked. “Your ghetto-ness comes and goes at will. But I peeped that a long time ago.”
I made a mistake. I forgot to perform for him like I always did. It didn’t matter anyway. I was going to be honest about everything. After all, I knew he saved my life back there and if I was truthful, maybe he’d do it again.
“I know. I lied about who I really am, Kelsi,” I told him. “I know a lot about why you here. I know that you hurting, Kelsi. You been lied to. And I didn’t know what that felt like until now. Somebody I thought cared about me hurt me too.”
“Kenosha, get to the fuckin’ point!”
“Kelsi…I know who really killed your mother. And it’s not who you think it is. It was somebody you trust.” I told him. His expression changed. He looked demonic.
“What you sayin’?”
“I…-,” the first bullet hit my shoulder and I felt it rip my flesh. I looked at the gun in Kelsi’s lap and it was still there. So where was the bullets coming from? Before I could think of a response, the next bullet ripped through my arm. The heat and the pain was unbearable.
Kelsi’s eyes widened as he backed outta the car. Then he started busting at the person who was shooting at me. Glass shattered everywhere. Kelsi, missed. It wasn’t long before I heard Kelsi’s footsteps taking off hurriedly away from the car.
I was alone.
I was still trying to figure out the-who and the-why until I was pulled out of the car. Laying flat on my back, I saw the person’s face that had been following me around since I’d arrived in New York. He had been outside of the hotel. He had been there when Jarvis made his nephew collect on his debt at Marcy. He’d been there always. There was no use in asking what he wanted from me. The look in his eyes told me he wouldn’t tell.
He smiled, aimed and shot me in my face.
My blood filled my throat and choked me.
I was breathless.
Friday, 9:02 pm
****
I don’t make my reasons known ‘til I get ready.
-Kelsi
I was in his presence.
Breakin’ bread wit’ him and his crew.
And all I could think about was hurtin’ and killin’ him and that white bitch he played close. Look at ‘em, laughing and actin’ like everything’s fine. When everything in my world is crumblin’ ’round me. I felt like burnin’ his ten million dollar Manhattan loft to the ground. And even though I was able to put a dent in his operation, it ain’t feel like enough. Maybe cuz I realize no matter what, it won’t bring my mother back.
“I’m tellin’ you, Kyope,” Prangsta yelled as they all drank from the drinks they made at his bar. “This lil nigga’s on his way. You shoulda seen what he did to that bitch last night.”
“Is that right?” Kyope said as he looked at me. The smoke colored shades I always wore concealed my eyes. His girlfriend had her arms wrapped ’round his waist while her head rested on his shoulder. Everybody was dressed in all black, includin’ me. “Looks like you one of my best investments.”
I smiled and turned away. Whenever he stared too long, I’d readjust. I ain’t want him to see who I really was by focusing on my features. I knew the hair on my face confused things a little but the eyes don’t change. Even if covered.
“We couldn’t even do what we was gonna do to her ass,” Spikes added. “This lil nigga is thorough.”
As they went on and on ’bout me, like I wasn’t even here, I thought about Kenosha. I knew they was gettin’ ready to kill her, so I tried to cause a diversion. Thinkin’ fast, I saw the maid walkin’ toward the room and decided to make some noise hopin’ she’d come in. I was tryin’ to save Kenosha’s life. But what for? It’s obvious she was a snake who deserved to die.
Ever since we talked, her words stayed in my mind. What did she mean by sayin’ she knew who really killed my moms? It don’t even matter. At the end of the day, she got what she had comin’. Turns out she had an enemy who wanted nothin’ more than to see her dead. And who the fuck was he anyway? And why had he spared my life. They found Kenosha’s lifeless body on the side of the road earlier today. And here these niggas were cheerin’ me on like I did somethin’. Only if they knew that she didn’t die by my gun.
Wiping her death out of my mind, I regained focus. Because the bottom line was …I had plans to kill Jarvis and Kyope this Friday. No matter what.
Leavin’ them alone, I walked over to the window and looked out at New York. I wondered what my mother loved so much about the city. To me things moved too fast. Everything and everybody was in a rush. Still glancing at the skyline, my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was O.
“Where are you?” she asked in her usual soft tone.
Although she was doing exactly what I told her not to do by questioning me, the sound of her voice made me smile.
“What I tell you ‘bout that shit?”
“You so predictable,” she laughed. “I can always count on you to say certain things.”
“You can always count on me period.”
I don’t know where that came from, but I couldn’t take it back now.
“Look…I don’t want to bother you. Just wanted you to know I was cooking, and if you came in late, your plate will be in the microwave.
“Good lookin’ out,” I told her. “I’ll be there when I can.” I ended the call.
“What you over there doin’?” Kyope asked. His question seemed out of line.
“Nothin…Just enjoyin’ the view.”
“Let me holla at him alone,” Kyope said to everyone. His girlfriend kissed his cheek and disappeared into the back. “Have Rosa whip ya’ll up somethin’ to eat.” I heard their feet scurry into the kitchen and Kyope walk closer to me.
“She’s beautiful ain’t she?” he asked, as he stood by my side and watched the city wit’ me. “I’ve been here all my life. And ain’t no place else I wanna be.”
I just nodded. He was too close and I could feel my stomach churn.
“What do you want, Aven?”
“What you mean?” I questioned keepin’ my sights on the city.
“I mean what do you really want out of life?”
“I wouldn’t mind havin’ somebody back I miss a lot,” I said candidly speaking of my mother.
“What’s her name? I’ll have her brought to you by morning,” he was confident and for a second, I wished he could perform the miracle. Kyope had the gift of gab. I’d give him that.
“Naw…I’m fuckin’ wit you. For real, I’m just tryin’ to make money and stack money.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah…what else is there?”
“You right about that,” he confirmed. “But if you keep puttin’ in work like you’ve been, you’ll have all the money you want and them some. And bitches will be in line to suck your dick.” I just nodded. This nigga made me sick. Why would he say some gay ass shit like that? “You gotta a girl?”
I thought about O, and was about to say yes. Spending these weeks with O made me feel like she was official. And every time I’d feel myself liking her too much, I’d pull away. To top it off, we still hadn’t fucked.
“Naw…I’m just doin’ me right now.”
“Ain’t we all?” he chuckled. This nigga’s dumb.
“Hey…whateva happened to that bitch at Waves?” his question shocked me. “You know…the one that got my squad for their weapons?”
“What you think?” I said wit’out lyin’.
He laughed. Wit’ all the mothafuckas I merked in his name, I knew there was no reason for him to doubt that I killed O. He ain’t have to know she was in my crib cleanin’ and cookin’ for me.
“Good lookin’,” he said looking back out the window. “So how did things go at the motel?”
“You heard ‘em, I merked that bitch.”
“I know that,” he said. “But how was it?”
“What you mean?” he was askin’ broad questions and I wished he’d just come out wit’ it.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m alone in this war,” he told me. “And I like to know I got the right people around me at all times. So when I ask you how was it, I want to know if you think everything went as best as it could. You understand now?”
I finally got it. He ain’t trust his squad a hundred percent.
“I hear you,” I said lookin’ at him briefly. “But I’m not for snitchin’ in shit.”
“It ain’t snitchin’,” he said. “It’s keepin’ me in the loop.”
“I’ll tell you this…Prangsta ain’t as hard as you think he is. To me he was actin’ nervous. Like he was afraid to pull the trigger.”
“What you mean, afraid?”
“I don’t know if he was scared, but he was procrastinatin’ and I ain’t go out there for the procrastinatin’ and shit. So I put shit down how I thought you wanted it done. And just like you wanted, she out the picture, permanently.” I could tell he was still thinkin’ ’bout the possibility of Prangsta bein’ weak. I was smilin’ inside cuz it was growin’ too easy to break his crew down.
“I need more men like you,” he said lookin’ out the window again. “Can’t neva have enough loyal niggas on your team. Let’s drink,” he said walkin’ to the bar, returnin’ wit’ a warm glass of Remy Cru. “To New York City, money and loyalty.” I accepted the glass and did all I could do to prevent from throwin’ the liquid in his face.
“To New York!”? I replied, afterwards swallowin’ everything before needin’ some more.
The moment I allowed the warmth of the liquid to relax me, the front door to the loft flew open and a man who looked familiar rushed toward Kyope. His maid ran behind him lookin’ frazzled.
“Sorry, boss! He pushed his way in!”
“Don’t worry, Rosa,” Kyope assured, puttin’ his hand out. “I got it from here.”
I hadn’t seen him since I was a kid but I still knew it was Jarvis. Even when Skully gave me his pic, for some reason, he didn’t look familiar. And when I watched him, it was always from a far. But now…here in his presence, I could honestly say that I remember him.
“Fuck is your problem, man?!” Kyope asked right before Jarvis knocked him to the floor.
Jarvis was high and it showed. I knew I said I would wait until the right time to kill him but when I saw his face, I saw red. I was too close to conceal my anger. When I knocked him down, my shades flew off. It didn’t stop my blows. One after the other. I was splittin’ his face. It took me a second to realize he saw my eyes. The same eyes that at one point needed him to be a father even though we ain’t share the same blood. But I could tell when he looked at me. I was a stranger to him. I realized then that he never gave a fuck ’bout me or my mother. How could he and not know my name?
Wrappin’ my hands ’round his throat, I pretended to be protectin’ Kyope. Pretended to be doin’ my job as a member of his crew. Jarvis’s tongue flew outta his mouth and I could feel his throat close in. He was grabbin’ at my hands and scratchin’ my flesh. His throat was soft and flexible and all I wanted to do was bend it.
His eyes rolled back in his head as he attempted to stop me. I smiled. A warm blanket of satisfaction took over. And as easily as I was takin’ his life, I was lifted off of him…suddenly.
“Easy, man,” Spikes said as he and Prangsta held me. “Everything’s cool.”
Jarvis stood up tryin’ to find his balance while rubbin’ his throat. He was bent over like he had to throw up. His lips were bloody and his eye was already showin’ signs of bruisin’.
“Damn, Kyope!” Prangsta joked. “You got yourself a stone cold killa. This nigga worst than me.” When I turned around to look at Kyope, he smiled. I could tell he liked how I almost took Jarvis’s life.
“Who da fuck is this, nigga?” Jarvis asked pointin’ at me wit’ one hand on his knee.
“He’s new,” Kyope offered. “If you had taken your head out that bitch pussy, you would’ve met him a long time ago.” Jarvis looked at me like he wanted to kill me.
“I’ll deal wit this nigga later,” he said.
“Whenever you’re ready just make a move,” I told him.
“Easy,” Kyope smirked, talking to us both. “Everybody calm down.”
We backed down and I knew we’d have our moment again sooner than later.
“Why the fuck would ya’ll kill that girl?” Jarvis asked lookin delirious. He must’ve fallen victim to Kenosha’s power. I played her games before. But her control over me was isolated to the bedroom. He must’ve allowed her to enter his mind. “That was fucked up, man! You coulda talked to me ‘bout it first! Why you have to kill her?”
“Do you hear yourself?” Kyope said angrily. “Our operation is fallin’ apart! We losin’ millions of dollars! Niggas is takin’ us for a joke and the only thing you can think about is that bitch?!” This was the first time I saw Kyope blow up. And I understood how easy it was to lose control.
Jarvis looked at Kyope and then the rest of us. It was like he finally caught on to the severity of situation. Wit’ one hand on his hip and the other on his head, he walked to the window.
“Hey…let me holla at Jarvis for a minute,” Kyope said to no one in particular. We walked toward the kitchen ‘til he yelled, “Aven.”
“Yeah?” I said turnin’ around.
“Stay.”
I looked at Prangsta, Spikes and Crane. They hunched their shoulders and left us alone.
“Why he still here?” Jarvis asked.
“Cuz I asked him to stay.”
“Do you even know this nigga?” he talked as if I wasn’t in the room.
“I know him betta than I know you lately.” Jarvis shook his head in irritation. “So you gonna ask ’bout him, or tell me why you been out of it?”
“I got a lot on my mind, man,” Jarvis said lookin’ down before lookin’ at me again. “A lot of shit been happenin’. I can’t explain it. It’s like somebody’s fuckin’ wit me on purpose.”
“What you mean?”
“Niggas been slashin’ my tires
, I feel like I’m bein’ followed, I drop shit off to the cleaners, go back and it’s gone. I think somebody been puttin’ shit in my drinks when I go to the club cuz I been seein’ and hearin’ shit. I’m fucked up, Ky! For real.”
“I hear you, but what the fuck does that have to do wit’ business?”
Wow. I was impressed. The boy Kyope was straight unsympathetic to his man’s problems. What I really wanted to know was who outside of me, was fuckin’ wit’ him. I needed to shake his hand cuz I wasn’t doin’ all that shit.
“Did you hear me, man? Somebody is deliberately tryin’ to fuck up my life. And every time I turn around, I see this nigga as black as the night lookin’ at me. He be followin’ me ‘round in a black Ford Taurus everywhere!” His description fit the one of the man who killed Kenosha. And I wondered was their situation connected.
“Nigga, we have a business to run,” Kyope repeated. “I don’t want to hear that bullshit! If you felt someone was out to get you, you shoulda came to me! Gettin’ ghost ain’t helpin’ shit!” Kyope’s breaths were heavy. “Either you help me put this shit back together or you cut! I’m not fuckin’ ‘round wit’ you no more, Jarvis. The shit ends here!”
Jarvis looked like a helpless bitch in a room full of pimps and then he said, “I’ma do betta. You just gotta give me some time.”
“You had three fuckin’ months. Our entire operation has been reduced in three months. No more time. You start today.”
