Cade frowned.
“And then there’s always the possibility that she is simply a good lass who wants love and marriage to a lad who is worthy of her.”
“Love?” He could love her. Loving her would be easy—marriage was the problem.
As if reading his thoughts Eric said, “Aye, Cade, love. Ye have to follow Uncle Angus’ wishes. She can marry whomever she desires. She might even have a lad pining for her at this moment.”
“Nay, she doesn’t.” His tone was more vehement than he intended.
“Ye’re certain?”
“Aye, I’m certain.” On their journey to Carraigile, when he had asked her if she was thinking about home or someone special, she had said just home. But an annoying little voice whispered: that doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t someone special.
Eric shrugged. “Still, she’s a smart lass and knows as well as ye do that there’s no future for her with ye.”
Cade knew Eric was right. He knew winning Elsie’s affection would ultimately mean hurting her, but that awareness fled anytime she was within an arm’s length. “Then I expect it’s best to finish teaching her to ride so she can return home.”
“Keep telling yerself that.”
Chapter 14
As hard as Elizabeth was finding learning to ride, she did look forward to her lessons. She liked spending time with Cade more than she wanted to admit. He was so easy to be with but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why. He was never deferential and had no trouble offering criticism. He clearly enjoyed teasing her mercilessly. She laughed a lot when she was with him—more than she ever remembered laughing with anyone else. Oddly, these things all lent an air of comfortable compatibility to their interactions. Then too, there was the scorching sexual tension between them that often left her breathless and longing.
She could fall in love with this man. She could imagine spending the rest of her life as his wife. He might frustrate the devil out of her regularly, but she could absolutely love him. It was only her concern for Elsie that held her back.
Occasionally, as she lay in her bed at night, she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to stay here…and marry him.
That was until she learned marriage to Cade MacKenzie would never be an option.
Almost a week after her first riding lesson, she discovered a little fact about medieval life that she hadn’t previously understood. During the evening meal, she sat at the trestle tables with Deirdre, Shauna and several of the other young women who worked in the castle.
“How are yer riding lessons coming?” asked Deirdre.
“I suppose that depends on who ye ask. Sir Cade says I’m getting better, but I feel like I’m still bouncing along hopelessly.”
Shauna laughed. “I suspect Sir Cade wants ye to finish learning to ride a horse so he can teach ye to ride something else.”
Several of the young women tittered at her bawdy suggestion.
Elizabeth shrugged. “That isn’t likely.”
Shauna raised an eyebrow. “Ye don’t think he wants ye in his bed?”
“It doesn’t matter if he wants it or not. It won’t happen.”
“Well, that’d be a first. Most lassies that he sets his eye on are more than willing to end up in his bed and he’s never given them cause to regret it.”
“That’s because he usually sets his eye on lassies who are already so inclined,” said Deirdre. “Elsie isn’t ye, Shauna.”
“She isn’t ye either. Not every lass is so particular, looking for undying love and marriage. I suspect she’s open to a bit of fun. Ye might want to consider it too—ye aren’t that great a catch.”
Deirdre flushed, embarrassed.
Elizabeth couldn’t let it pass. “If by open to a bit of fun, ye mean willing fall into just anyone’s bed, nay, I wouldn’t say that. And have ye never heard that a man’s not likely to buy a cow when he can get the milk for free?”
The other maids at the table laughed. It was no secret that Shauna was not in the least particular. She warmed the bed of nearly any man who glanced her direction. It did surprise Elizabeth a little to learn that evidently Shauna had been open to a bit of fun with Cade.
Shauna scowled at her. “Well, if ye’re so particular, ye’d do well to stay away from Sir Cade—or any of the young noblemen that sniff after ye. Although they’re good for a cuddle, not a single one of them is going to marry a serving maid or even a midwife.”
“Well that’s the truth,” said Kirsty. “Even sons of younger sons are destined to marry whomever is chosen for them. Give me a handsome crofter or guardsman any day.”
Shauna gave them all a smug smile. “Even the son of a younger son can make a lass’s life a tad easier if he wants to. Lots of noblemen keep mistresses, and keep them well. I’d prefer a man who adores me and showers me with presents, to a poor farmer or guardsman.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “That’s an interesting perspective, but I think Deirdre has the right of it. Choose once, and choose carefully. I’d rather have a partner for life. Ye can’t cuddle up to costly gifts on a cold night.”
“Lovers are just as warm as husbands,” observed Shauna.
“Perhaps, but a husband will still be keeping ye warm come dawn,” countered Elizabeth, garnering nods from several women.
Shauna shrugged. “No worries. I’ll just have my lover build up the fire before he goes.”
The women laughed and the subject moved to a less coarse topic.
However, when Elizabeth retired that night, her thoughts strayed back to that conversation. She hadn’t realized that noblemen didn’t choose their own wives. She guessed Cinderella really was a fairytale. Based on what she had learned tonight, even if she weren’t so protective of Elsie’s body, the chemistry she felt with Cade was destined for nothing. To Cade, Elizabeth—or rather, Elsie—would simply be another lass with whom to enjoy a bit of fun. Even so, Elizabeth decided, if the opportunity presented itself, she would get Cade’s perspective.
~ * ~
As fate would have it, the opportunity presented itself the next afternoon during her riding lesson. When she’d arrived at the stable, Elizabeth had been surprised to find Cade had not only saddled Edda, but his own horse as well. “Ye’re riding with me today?”
“Aye, ye’ve learned all ye can while riding in circles in the bailey. We’ll ride out of the castle today so ye can learn how not to bruise yer soft round backside when Edda trots a little faster.”
She rolled her eyes but chose not to comment.
Of course then she’d spent the next hour giving that part of her anatomy a pounding.
Cade had explained that a trot was a two beat gait. “The right front leg and the rear left leg move together, then the left front and the right rear. To keep from bouncing, ye rise up a little on the first beat, then sit on the second beat.”
“That sounds exhausting—and hard on yer knees.”
“It shouldn’t be. Yer knee is part of it, but most of the motion should be in yer pelvis. Yer lower leg should maintain gentle pressure and yer heels still need to be pointed down. It’s taken ye long enough to learn that,” he winked, “but ye’ll see now it will help ye maintain balance at the faster gait.”
“Still rising up and down with every step seems tiring.”
“It isn’t as bad as ye think. Ye use the motion of the horse to rise out of the saddle. Watch.” He clicked his tongue and his horse sped to a trot.
Elizabeth had never paid attention before, but now that she watched closely she could see that he rose slightly on every other beat. “Ye see, it’s not a huge motion, ye don’t want to stand up in your stirrups.”
He turned and trotted back to her, dismounted, secured his mount and moved to stand beside her. “First, I just want ye to practice the rising motion.”
He placed one hand on her knee and the other on her hip.
“Are ye sure this isn’t just an excuse to put yer hand on my knee?”
“I see no reas
on not to have a little fun myself whenever possible. But if ye like it, I’m sure I can touch ye other places that ye’ll enjoy more.” He moved his hand slightly, starting to slide it up her inner thigh.
She grabbed his wrist to stop its journey upwards.
He tsked. “Nay, lass, ye must keep yer hands still.”
“Then, ye must limit yerself to touching my knee.”
“Alas, I fear we’ll have to save those delights for another time then and get back to the lesson at hand. I want ye to just practice the rising motion. Keep yer lower legs still and yer hands down.”
After he was satisfied that she had grasped the basic concept, he had her try to trot. That was the moment the pounding started. It was not nearly as easy as Cade had made it look. After about an hour, exasperated, Elizabeth finally said, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this.”
He walked to stand beside her, taking Edda’s bridle in one hand. “Are ye giving up?”
His voice held a challenge that Elizabeth was hard pressed to ignore but her thighs and backside ached.
“Nay. But I don’t seem to be doing anything right.”
He canted his head. “Ye think not? Do ye remember riding out of Castle Macrae?”
She felt a hot blush rise in her cheeks. “I’ll not forget that anytime soon.”
“Neither will I.” He grinned. “That was my first introduction to yer soft round backside.” She huffed and he laughed. “Elsie, do ye not think yer riding’s improved since then?”
She frowned. “I guess. A little.”
He captured her gaze. “More than just a little. Ye’ve come a long way. Learning to trot properly is not terribly easy. It will take a while.” Then he winked and put his other hand on her knee, sliding it up to her hip. “And I intend to enjoy every minute teaching ye.”
She shook her head, “Ye’re absolutely incorrigible.”
“Ye’ve made that observation several times. Ye might want to mind that wee sharp tongue of yers, lest it require a few lessons in manners.”
She laughed. “I’ll try to be careful.”
He winked again. “Don’t be too careful, I quite enjoy those lessons too.”
She chuckled but decided it was better to remain silent.
“I’ll help ye down.” He lifted her to the ground. “We’ll give Edda a rest and I expect yer soft round backside could use a bit of a rest too.”
“Why are ye so preoccupied with my posterior? Everybody has one.”
“Aye, but not everyone has such a lovely one.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, took a few steps, stopped and groaned.
He laughed, secured Edda where she could graze some and took Elizabeth’s hand. “Ye’ll feel better if ye walk a bit.”
Elizabeth liked the feel of her hand in his. It struck her that holding hands was both innocent, and at the same time incredibly intimate.
They hadn’t walked far when Cade said, “Ye confuse me, Elsie.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “How so?”
“Ye’re not naïve. Ye don’t exactly spurn my advances. In fact, ye give every indication that ye enjoy my kisses.”
“Aye, I do. Ye’re rather good at it.”
“But, ye let it go no farther.”
“Aye.”
“That’s what confuses me.”
“Why? I should think it’s perfectly clear. I like yer kisses, but I don’t want it to go farther.”
He arched a brow at her. “That much was clear. What I want to know is why? I have never felt such a strong attraction to a woman. Ye must feel it.”
“Aye, I do.”
“But…”
“But, I’m fully aware of the potential consequences of that choice. I don’t want to be the subject of unkind gossip and I don’t intend to bring fatherless children into this world. But mostly I believe that kind of intimacy should only happen between people who respect each other and can choose to spend their lives together.”
“I respect ye.”
Elizabeth couldn’t hold back the snort. “Nay, ye don’t. Ye’re intrigued by me. Ye desire me. But ye don’t respect me nor can ye choose to marry me.”
“Nay, I can’t marry ye, but people can spend their lives together who aren’t married. It’s true that noblemen marry for political reasons but because of that, they are often condemned to loveless marriages. A great many of them keep mistresses who they adore.”
“And that, Sir Cade, is proof that ye don’t respect me. For that matter, I can assure ye, I’ll never be intimate with a man who I must address as ‘sir’.”
“Ye wouldn’t have to address me as ‘sir’ when we’re alone.”
Elizabeth laughed. Bless his heart, he believes that resolves the issue. “Perhaps I should clarify, I will not be intimate with someone who could never marry me, who would suggest I become his mistress, ultimately making me an adulteress when he married someone else, and who I must ever address as ‘sir’.”
Cade pulled her close, lowered his head and captured her lips in an ardent kiss that left Elizabeth weak in the knees. “Tell me ye don’t desire me as much as I do ye.”
She rested her forehead against his chest as she tried to catch her breath. Finally she pulled away, looking him in the eye. “I can’t, but that was never the issue. I respect myself and the man I will marry someday too much to give into momentary desire.”
“And I desire ye too much not to keep trying.”
“That’s yer choice, but I assure ye, I will not change my mind.”
“Ah, my beautiful, cheeky, lass, challenge accepted.”
She laughed. “I suppose every man needs to learn the taste of defeat at least once in his life.”
“Defeat? Don’t be so certain it’ll be my will that’s defeated.”
He kissed her again, more deeply and passionately than before.
It was a shame that he could never marry her. He might have been worth staying in the thirteenth century for.
Chapter 15
Elizabeth had seen several of the pregnant women clan with Morag, but the story of how she had helped Laird MacLennan’s heir fight a lung infection also circulated through the clan. A few clansmen and women began to seek her out to treat illnesses and injuries, making word of her skill spread even farther. However, it was the unusual heat treatment intended to make Jessie’s baby turn that was the real talk among the MacKenzies.
After the first few times, Jessie had been doing the treatment each evening with her husband’s help. She did seem to think the baby was more active over the next few days. But when it had been a full week and nothing more than that had happened, Elizabeth feared it was not going to work. But to her surprise and delight, the morning after the eighth treatment Jessie arrived at the keep during the morning meal, with Flora on her hip. She hurried across the great hall towards the table where Elizabeth sat.
“Elsie, I think the bairn turned. Last night I was in the position ye showed me and it felt as if the wee one was having a grand time, stretching and kicking, then it gave an almighty lurch.”
“Really? It does sound as if it might have turned.” Excited by the news, Elizabeth stood up. “Do ye mind if I check?”
Jessie grinned. “Nay, that’s what I came up here for.”
Deirdre, who had been breaking her fast with Elizabeth stood and reached for Flora. “Come to Auntie Deirdre, poppet.”
Elizabeth cocked her head. “Auntie Deirdre? Are the two of ye sisters?”
Deirdre shook her head, looking a bit confused. “Nay.”
Jessie laughed. “Nay, I don’t have any sisters. Deirdre is John’s youngest sister.”
“Are ye? Ye never mentioned that,” said Elizabeth.
Deirdre’s brow knitted. “Should I have? Should I tell ye who all my relatives are?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Nay, Deirdre, I just thought ye might have mentioned it when—” at the confused look on Deirdre’s face, she just smiled. “Nay, never mind.” One glance at Jessie’
s amused expression told Elizabeth that even her family found Deirdre’s scatterbrained behavior humorous.
Elizabeth stepped towards Jessie. “I can give ye a quick check.” She felt the top of Jessie’s belly with both hands and smiled. “There does seem to be a wee bottom here now. I’ll need to check while ye’re lying down to be sure the babe is in the right position, but aye, it seems to have turned.”
This news spread through the clan faster than lightning and very soon, Elizabeth’s days became filled with caring for pregnant, ill or injured MacKenzies. Not filled as they had been in the twenty-first century—back to back patients one blending into the next. Here she could take as much time as she needed with each person, or perhaps more importantly, as much time as they needed. She had never fully appreciated the value of letting a patient talk if they wished to. Not only was it sometimes therapeutic for a person just to have a sympathetic ear to listen to them, she also found she learned details that she might have missed otherwise.
Cade continued to teach her to ride, taking her out riding nearly every afternoon. It probably had ceased being necessary. She had become skilled enough to not risk injuring herself or her mount. But Cade insisted there was still much for her to learn. Of course he also took every opportunity to steal a kiss while they were alone.
Elizabeth supposed she should have just put her foot down and stopped it, but truthfully, she didn’t want to stop it. He enjoyed their time together as much as she did. So as long as she didn’t let it go too far, the time she spent with him was a guilty pleasure she was unwilling to give up. She tried to tell herself this was just like a vacation romance. She imagined returning to her own time with fond memories of the feel of his hands and the heat of his kisses, which she would be able to cherish for the rest of her life. Oddly this made her heart ache a little. Deep down she knew he wasn’t really a quick fling and leaving him would hurt. Her feelings were much deeper than she wanted to admit.
These thoughts often swirled through her head as she lay alone in bed. They kept her awake imagining “what ifs” well into the night. That was why she was still awake when a knock sounded at her door, late one night, a little over a month after she had arrived at Carraigile. She was curled up under her covers trying to quiet her thoughts and drift off to sleep when the noise pulled her back from the edges of slumber. She rose and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, before opening the door. “Oh, Stephan, it’s ye. Is something wrong?”
The Midwife: The Pocket Watch Chronicles Page 13
