I’d spent the last six weeks alienated from my entire family. And that hurt me the most. My brother never called me back, and I’d been ignoring my mom’s calls and texts for weeks. I guess, like my friends said, I needed to process everything. I loved my mom and my brother. I didn’t love their choice to accept Bear back into their lives, but I still loved them.
Which is how I found myself standing on my mom’s doorstep Thursday evening, simultaneously praying she was home while hoping he wasn’t.
A swarm of butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I rang the doorbell. Should I have called first? I don’t know why I didn’t. Probably because I didn’t know what to say. It felt surreal that I was even standing here.
My mom opened the door with a surprised expression. “Nicole. Come in. Why did you ring the doorbell?”
I stepped over the threshold and into the living room. After quickly surveying the room and not hearing the telltale sounds of a sports channel or my dad’s loud voice, I turned and faced my mom. “I just felt weird about how we left things the last time I was here. And honestly I wasn’t sure if I was welcome.”
“Oh, honey.” Mom put her arms around me and pulled me in for a huge hug. “You will always be welcome in my home. I love you. No matter what.”
A tear leaked from my eye as I squeezed her back. I don’t think anything could compare to having my mom’s arms around me as she whispered that she loved me. That was it. I was home.
After a few moments when I got my emotions under control, I pulled away and wiped at my face. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted the last few weeks. I just…needed some time, I guess.”
“That’s okay, Nicole. I was here waiting for you. I’ll always be here for you. Now come on. Let’s get some coffee going, and you can tell me all about your biker.”
“You remembered that?” I laughed as I followed my mom into the kitchen.
“Of course. It’s not every day that your daughter tells you she found a guy just like her dad.”
“Except he’s not like Bear.” I leaned against the back of a chair and looked at my mom. “Yes, Tank is a biker, but he’s not a one-percenter. He’s an awesome guy who’s smart and gorgeous and so damn loyal. He makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the room when I’m with him.”
My mom’s smile was bittersweet. “He sounds like a wonderful young man.”
“He is.”
“So, what’s the problem?” My mom ignored my innocent look and probed deeper. “I know you, Nicole. You were always my cautious child. When you were little and I’d take you and Austin to the park, you’d hang back and let Austin go and make friends with the other kids before you’d go say hello. You’re doing it now. Oh, you’re saying all the right things, but you’re still holding something back. So, what’s the problem?”
I never could hide anything from my mom. “He’s a biker.”
“Yes, honey, you said that before. What’s the problem?”
“His club is always going to come first. Middle of the night, he gets a call and he’s out of the bed and riding away, no questions asked and no word to me about when he’ll be back. I don’t know if I can be with someone who will never put me or our kids first.”
“So, you already see yourself having kids with him?”
“I don’t know. Is this some kind of therapy mindfuck where you answer a question with a question?”
“Language,” Mom reprimanded me, and I rolled my eyes. “I think if you’re picturing yourself having fictional kids with this man, then you already have some deep feelings for him. But only you can decide whether or not it’s a deal breaker. I can’t tell you that.”
“How did you cope with it when you first started seeing Bear?”
“I was young and dumb when I started dating your father.” Mom laughed softly as her eyes grew distant. “It was all so exciting at first. He was the ultimate bad boy with a flashy motorcycle, and he had that tough-guy attitude down pat. But I didn’t really understand about club life—what it required of him—until after we got married. And by then I was pregnant with Austin. My parents had disowned me and most of my friends had gone off to college.”
My heart ached for my mom. The regret over her choices was so clear in her voice. More than anything I wanted to shake her and demand to know why she would take him back if she was wishing they’d never got together in the first place, but before I could form the words my mom blinked and gave me an awkward smile.
“For me it was something I could live with. I guess I see it differently than you. Bear’s club is his life—it’s his family, his friends, his job. Without them he has nothing. It is who he is.”
I bit my tongue to keep myself from filling in the rest of the description of who my father was. Mom really didn’t need any more negativity from me on that front. I nodded as I thought about her words. They were similar to Brittany’s, but for some reason her explanation resonated with me. I couldn’t picture Tank without the True Brothers MC. They were a huge part of his identity. And in Tank’s case that wasn’t a bad thing. He was a great guy.
My mom grinned and leaned forward in her seat. “I’ll have to meet your man someday soon if he can put an expression like that on your face.”
My cheeks heated with my blush. I shook my head at my mom as I continued to grin like a fool. “Sounds good.”
“In the meantime, how about you tell me more about your guy. What was his name again?”
“Tank. Although I’m pretty sure that’s not his given name. I should probably find out what it is.” Weird how that never occurred to me before. “He’s sweet. He’s got that tough-guy thing down, but really he’s a softie when it counts. He just makes me want to be a better person.”
My mom’s smile dimmed slightly. “That’s great, honey.”
“Mom, I didn’t mean…” I didn’t even know how to finish that. I wasn’t going to apologize because Tank wasn’t an abusive asshole. I wouldn’t be with him if he was.
“It’s fine, Nicole.” She pushed away from the table and walked across the room to poke at the coffeepot. “Would you like a cup? Or I can make something to eat if you’re hungry?”
“Thanks, Mom, but no. I’m going out with Jessica and Emily and a few of the other ladies from the club.”
“Girls’ night? Sounds like fun. But I’m surprised that you’re not welded to Tank’s hip. What with it being a new relationship and all.” She smiled kinda nostalgically like maybe she was remembering being my age. With Bear. Eeww.
“Well, it’s kinda become our regular girls’ night out. Tank is a bouncer at a nightclub, so he’s usually working tonight. But I think the club is closed for fumigating or something, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the guys gate-crashed our girls’ night.” I smiled at the thought. A big group date like that could quickly spiral out of control with Tank’s crew. I kinda wanted to see what that looked like.
“True Brothers don’t own any club.”
I jumped when my dad’s voice reverberated through the kitchen. I only had time to bug my eyes out at my mom before he was looming in the doorway.
“Hey, Bear.” I said quietly. I specifically came tonight because last time my mom said he was busy Thursday nights. He wasn’t supposed to be here, was all I could think.
He narrowed his eyes at me, then crossed the room to Mom. I had to look away as he grabbed her and pulled her to him. I didn’t want to know how they said hello now. And judging by the wet kissing sounds, it was a smart call.
“So I heard you’ve hooked up with a True Brother. I can’t believe a daughter of mine is hanging around that bunch of pussies. Doesn’t this podunk town have a legit motorcycle club?”
I mentally rolled my eyes as I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
I knew better than to show him any outward sign of my disdain. Because that was what was bubbling inside of me. Annoyance. Attitude. Anger. Everything I’d been taught by his ham-fisted ways to suppress as a means of self-preservation.
He huffed in
irritation. “They have a nightclub, huh? Is it as shitty as that motorcycle shop that burned down a couple months back?”
“Lux is the hottest club in Reno.” I couldn’t stand to let his snide comments about my man and his friends go unchecked. “They always have a huge line every night. It’s not shitty; it’s the place to go in Reno.”
“Hard to imagine any of the pretty people partying with a bunch of pussified bikers. They’re the kinda fuckers who give us a bad name.”
And that was my cue to leave.
Because if I stayed any longer, someone’s blood was gonna end up painting my mom’s kitchen walls. “I gotta go meet the girls, Mom. We’ll talk later, okay?”
My mom gave me a strained smile. “Sure, honey. Make me happy and maybe answer one of my texts next time.”
“Will do.” I wanted to give her a hug, but there was no way I was getting within arm’s reach of my bastard of a father. “Take care of yourself.”
“Pretty sure that’s my job, sweetheart.” Bear bared his teeth in a semblance of a smile. But it wasn’t. His eyes were as dead as his soul.
I lifted my chin in acknowledgment of his statement, but I wasn’t agreeing with him. “Later.”
“Have fun, honey,” my mom called. “Say hello to Tank when he crashes your girls’ night.”
Just before I closed the door I heard my father ask, “What kinda bar isn’t open on Thirsty Thursday?”
This time I didn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. Even when I was no longer in the room, he still had to have the last word.
Chapter 24
Tank
I leaned against the door of my pickup in the club’s deserted parking lot and tried not to be pissed that I’d been called in on my first-ever free Thursday night. When I got the call that Lux was closed for the night, I’d initially made plans to crash Nic’s girls’ night, but an hour later I got another call from Reb that he needed to see me and Stitch at Lux. I knew what I had to do. I just hoped Nicole didn’t know I’d chosen the club over her yet again. That woman had a way of making me beg that I both hated and loved—hated because who wanted to beg, not fucking me, and loved because she really made up for it afterward. Jesus.
Before I could get too lost in my dirty memories, Stitch rolled into the lot driving an ancient Mustang GT. I had to smile. It was amazing he’d got the thing to run, let alone was able to drive it all the way across town.
“Looking good, Stitch,” I hollered at him when he got out of his car. “Engine sounds like shit, but you’re looking good.”
Stitch just laughed. “Yeah. New project. I wanted to surprise Jackson when he gets home from college.”
I nodded slowly as I examined the rust, peeling paint, and ripped-up interior. And then there was the engine. “Shit, man. I thought you liked your kid.”
“I do, brother. That’s why—when we’re done—the car will be his.”
I had to laugh outright at that. “It’ll be an awesome thirtieth birthday present.”
“Fuck you, T.” Stitch laughed. “It’s not gonna take us ten years.”
“You might want to hit Axle up for some help, then. If you wanna finish it before you’re too old to see past the steering wheel.”
“Yeah, we’ll see. Do you know why we’re meeting here and not at the clubhouse?”
“No idea.” I shrugged. “I don’t even know what the fuck we’re meeting about. But whatever it is must be big. They closed Lux for the night.”
“Well, let’s go wait inside for those late fuckers. It’s too goddamn cold to sit out here all night.”
I looked around the deserted parking lot with some unease. I’d thought this was a mistake the moment Reb called for a special meeting at the nightclub. There was a huge reason we kept our ownership of Lux off the radar—it helped protect our investment. The kind of clientele we wanted weren’t interested in partying with bikers. Plus keeping Lux off the radar meant our enemies didn’t know it was a place where we were vulnerable. Which is why no club colors were allowed anywhere near the nightclub. Suddenly having forty motorcycles pull up would nudge anyone’s radar.
With my hands in my pockets, I followed Stitch inside the club. He took a seat at the deserted bar, and I snuck around to pour the first round.
“Anything new going on?” Stitch asked as he grabbed his longneck bottle of beer.
“Not that I know about. Same shit, different day. I haven’t heard anything on the Tramps front, and it looks like everything is legit with Bam Bam. I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”
“Yeah, it’s weird, brother. They firebomb two of our buildings in a week and then nothing for over a month? I really thought they’d try something the week of Street Vibrations, but I don’t even remember seeing a Tramp anywhere. It’s like the whole club disappeared or something.”
“They’re just sticking close to home. I think if a whole fucking club got wiped out, we’d’ve heard about it. Sounds to me like they’ve been grounded by their daddy.”
“Wild Riders.”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck.”
I toasted him with my bottle of beer. “Yeah.”
“Son of a bitch. I was really hoping we were dealing with the Tramps.”
“Me, too. And as I far as I know, we haven’t ruled out La famigghia.”
“Fuck, now ain’t that a real shitty Sophie’s Choice deal.”
I blinked. “Who’s Sophie?”
“It’s a movie. From the eighties…Never mind. You know, you might wanna branch out from Road House now and then.”
“Fuck you.” I laughed. “I’m no Patrick Swayze, and last I checked Nicole ain’t a doctor.”
“Pretty close. Brittany said Nic has a master’s degree or some shit.”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “She’s pretty fucking smart.”
“And yet she’s still with you. So maybe not that smart.”
“I don’t know. It only took me a week to lock that shit up. So you tell me, who’s the smart one?”
Stitch laughed and tipped his bottle at me before taking a pull. Plunking his bottle on the bar, he sighed as he stared at the label. “Lord help us if those women ever discover we’re not worthy of them.”
Maybe it was the half bottle of beer I drank—okay, maybe not the beer—but hearing that after twenty years Stitch still didn’t feel worthy of Brittany made me relax. Like maybe this whole relationship thing with a woman like Nicole wasn’t doomed for failure. Maybe Nicole was a better bet than Abby had been. Actually I knew that one for a fact.
Stitch dug his cellphone out of his pocket and scowled at the dark screen. “Where the hell are those guys?”
“I don’t know.” I pulled out my phone and checked my messages. Zero missed texts or calls. “Do you know what the girls had planned for tonight?”
“You thinking of party crashing after the meeting’s over?”
“You’re not?”
“Fuck yeah, I am. Nothing on this earth beats drunk and horny sex. Unless it’s baby-making sex or wedding night sex, but both of those ships have sailed for us, so I gotta make do.”
“Whoa.” I held up my hands to hold off any more info. “We’ve all seen the preshow. I don’t need any more mental pictures.”
Stitch smirked like he’d accomplished his mission. The bastard. “I think the girls are gonna get ready at Jessica’s house, then head over to the Mineshaft.”
“The hell they are.” Reb’s voice rumbled through the mostly deserted club. “Emily isn’t setting foot inside the Shaft without me there.” Reb whipped out his cellphone and started texting.
After a minute both my phone and Stitch’s lit up with texts from our very pissed-off women.
From Nicole: Call off your dogs. We’re still going to the Mineshaft.
“What the hell did you send your woman, Reb?” Stitch snorted as he stared at his phone’s screen. “Britt is pissed.”
“Like I give a fuck?” Reb snorted. “They’re not going to the Shaft without
us. Period.”
“Hey, I’m not arguing—I sure as hell don’t want Brittany there without me. But did you ever hear that you get more flies with sugar?”
Reb smirked. “Pretty sure bullshit is the way to go if you’re looking for flies.”
“How about we invite the ladies over here after the meeting?” I asked Reb. Peacekeeping wasn’t my strong suit—I preferred hand-to-hand—but I wanted to get this over with so I could have my own drunk and horny night with Nicole. “Lux is closed for the night. We’d have the place to ourselves. Could be fun.”
Reb nodded slowly. “Could work. But you fuckers gotta pay for your liquor. Just because we own the club doesn’t mean it’s a free-fucking-for-all. Including those two beers you guys pilfered before I got here.”
I mockingly toasted Reb with my beer, then texted Nicole back.
Change of plans. How about you guys come here?
From Nicole: Eeeww. Won’t it be all gassy from the exterminator?
What? No. There’s no gas.
From Nicole: But
Then three dots appeared like she was typing a huge-ass reply. More like she’d typed one word and now was arguing with Emily and Jessica.
From Nicole: Fine, but you guys owe us.
I’m here any time you wanna collect.
From Nicole: See you in thirty.
“Girls are coming over in thirty,” I announced to the room. Not that anyone noticed. The other guys were bent over their phones, texting away.
Except Axle. I don’t know when he came in, but I sent him a nod as he crossed the room to me.
“Whatcha drinking?” I asked.
Axle grabbed a barstool. “Same as you.”
I slid a longneck across to him, then grabbed a pad of paper to start everyone’s tab. “Did you see Stitch’s car out front?”
Axle smirked. “Yeah, I caught a glimpse. Looks like a sweet ride.”
“Maybe in ten years, if Stitch does all the work himself like he’s planning.”
Axle nodded but didn’t say anything about helping Stitch like I’d expected him to. Instead he twisted around on his seat and leaned his back against the bar.
Resilient Page 19
