Jordin glanced over at him. “You were being honest and I appreciate that.”
“But it bothers you.”
“It does,” she admitted. “Ethan, it’s not something I want to talk about tonight. Can we table this discussion for another day?”
Ethan parked the car in her driveway. “We need to go on and clear the air.”
She shook her head. “Not tonight. I just want to take a day or so to think about this.”
“Do you want me to come in?”
She gave him a tiny smile. “I don’t think I’d be very good company.”
“Jordin, I love you like crazy. I didn’t have any parental role models. Watching this man and that man coming into my mother’s life and treating her bad...my dad... I don’t want to bring a child into this world just to fail them.”
“We’ll talk in a day or so,” she responded softly. Jordin wasn’t sure she could go through with the marriage, but decided that she was too emotional on the subject of children at the moment to make such a decision.
“This is not the way I wanted this evening to end,” Ethan stated.
“This isn’t about want,” Jordin said quietly. “This is about need. Right now, I really need you to leave.”
Ethan looked as if he wanted to argue.
“Fine,” he said at last. “I’ll check on you tomorrow.”
She took a deep breath and held it for a moment.
“We will find a way to work this out,” Ethan stated. “Now that you’re in my life—I’m not going to lose you like this.”
When she was alone in the house, Jordin sank down on the sofa in tears. She loved Ethan so much, but she also wanted to be a mother. She couldn’t see her life without children, even with him.
Is this a sign that I shouldn’t marry Ethan?
The thought made her feel worse.
* * *
The next day, Ethan picked up the telephone to call Jordin, but changed his mind.
She needs time to think and it’s best that I give her that time.
He regretted not having discussed children before he proposed. It had not occurred to him that she might want to be a mother one day. He supposed that she wanted to focus on her career while he managed his gyms.
The thought that he might lose her over this disturbed Ethan to the point that he decided to call Jordin. He wanted to convince her of his love and devotion, but would that be enough?
“Hello, Ethan,” she said warmly into the receiver.
He smiled. “Babe, I hope you can have lunch with me today. I really want to see you.”
“What time did you have in mind?”
“I can be there in about ten minutes.”
“Okay,” she responded after a brief pause. “I’ll see you then.”
Jordin pasted on a smile when Ethan entered her office twenty minutes later.
“I ran into your father in the elevator and he walked me past the receptionist.”
She rose to her feet. “I’ll be ready to leave in about a minute.”
During the ride to the restaurant, Jordin had little to say.
“I hate this tension between us,” Ethan stated.
“I just don’t know what to say right now.”
Once they were seated, he said, “I love you more than anything, sweetheart.”
“I know that, Ethan,” she responded softly. “Love isn’t the problem.”
“I realize that we should have had this discussion before I proposed to you.”
Jordin nodded in agreement. “Now is just as good a time as any. We’re not married yet.”
“Is this going to be a deal breaker for you?” Ethan wanted to know.
“I’m not sure,” Jordin responded. “I want to be a mother and apparently this is a giant problem for you.”
He pointed to her menu. “Do you know what you want to eat?”
“Ethan, I’m not really hungry.”
“I can see this is really upsetting for you.”
“It is,” Jordin confessed. “I never once considered that we would have opposing views on children.”
Jordin’s eyes watered.
Ethan reached over and took her hand in his. He didn’t know what to say to make her pain go away.
“I’m really not hungry. I’d rather leave and go back to my office, if you don’t mind.”
“Okay.”
He spoke with the waiter, then followed Jordin out of the restaurant and to the car.
Back at the firm, Ethan joined her in her office.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to lose you either,” she responded.
“But do you think that I am enough for you?” he asked. “I need to know.”
Before Jordin could respond, a little girl ran into her office, cutting off further conversation between them.
“Hailey, how are you?” she greeted.
Ethan noted the way Jordin’s face lit up upon seeing the little girl.
“I’m so sorry,” a woman said as she rushed inside. “Hailey, honey, you can’t just interrupt Miss DuGrandpre’s meeting.”
“It’s fine. Sherry, this is my fiancé, Ethan.”
“Oh, I’m so happy for you. Congratulations.”
Ethan sat down on the leather couch in her office while the two women talked. Hailey eyed him with curiosity for a moment before awarding him a tiny wave.
“I can see how much you love children,” he said when they were alone.
She nodded. “Yes, I love them very much.”
“I know that I said I didn’t want children, but after watching you with Ryker’s children and now this little girl... I realize that I can’t deprive you of being a mother.”
Jordin stiffened. “So what are you saying?”
“I don’t want to rush into anything, but I think I have to reconsider my decision about being a parent.”
“Are you seriously thinking about this?”
He nodded. “I love you and it’s obvious that you’d be a great mother, Jordin.”
“I want that, Ethan, but I’m not in a hurry. I want to enjoy being husband and wife for a while. If you mean it, then we will decide when it’s time to have a child.”
“You make me want to be a better man.” He loved seeing her happy. Ethan also realized that he had to put his own selfish needs to the side for the woman he loved.
“I just had to get you to see what I already knew—that we’re better together,” Jordin responded with a grin.
“I really don’t want to lose you, so we will have children. I promise I won’t make you wait too long.”
“I know you won’t,” she assured him.
He kissed her passionately.
Chapter 20
Ethan glared at his ringing office phone, growled when he saw his mother’s name flash across the screen and ignored it. He had not heard from her in a couple of months so he’d assumed that she had given up.
He released a short sigh of relief when it was silent once more. Glancing about his office, Ethan was thankful the marketing team had already left. He wanted some time alone to consider his change of heart regarding parenting.
Jordin deserves to be a mother, but how will I be as a father? Ethan thought about his mother. This woman just won’t leave me alone. I don’t want a child of mine to feel the way I feel about Lydia.
He shook away his thoughts. Ethan knew deep down that he would never treat his child the way he was treated by his parents.
“Are you still at the office?” Jordin asked as soon as he answered his cell phone.
“I’ll be leaving in about fifteen minutes,” Ethan responded. “Where are you?”
“I’m at home. I
just wanted to make sure you were going to be there by the time I arrive.”
“You have a key, Jordin. Just let yourself in.”
“Okay, I’ll see you when you get there.”
“Love you, babe,” he murmured.
“I love you too.”
Ethan was all smiles at the idea of Jordin waiting for him at the house. He was looking forward to spending the evening with her.
Twenty minutes later, he left his office.
As soon as he stepped outside the building, he spotted a woman. Ethan’s mood shifted quickly to anger. “What are you doing here, Lydia?”
“I need to talk to you, son.”
“You don’t have the right to call me that.”
“If you’d just give me the chance to talk to you, I can explain everything.”
“And say what, Lydia?”
Tears glistened in her eyes. “I’m sorry for not being a good mother to you. You deserved so much better.”
“I agree,” he uttered. “I did deserve better.”
“It’s not what you think, Ethan.”
“You know I can still remember how many times you lectured about choosing the right friends, about staying away from drugs...” Ethan shook his head in dismay. “You are nothing but a hypocrite.”
“I swear to you that I never touched drugs.”
“Congratulations,” he responded drily.
“Ethan, I realized a long time ago that I made a huge mistake in dating Rob. He was not the man I thought he was.”
“I bet you came to that realization in prison, right?”
“Will you please give me another chance, sweetheart? I miss you so much.”
“Now you know how I felt all those years.”
“If I could take it all back—I would.”
“There are no do-overs, Lydia. Now if you will excuse me, I need to get going.”
“I won’t keep you.”
Ethan walked to his car and unlocked the door.
Despite his feelings for her, he could not just leave her alone downtown like this. “Where are you staying?”
“I’m staying with Trudy. You remember her, don’t you?”
He nodded. “Is she still staying in the same place?”
“Yes,” Lydia responded. “She’s been kind enough to let me stay with her until I can get on my feet.”
“Get in and I’ll drive you there.”
Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “Thank you, Ethan.”
“Do you have any money?”
Lydia shook her head no. “I’ve been trying but I haven’t been able to find steady work.”
Ethan pulled out his wallet and removed five twenties and a hundred-dollar bill. “Here is two hundred dollars.”
“I don’t want your money,” she responded. “That’s not why I came.”
Her response surprised him. “Take it, Lydia. You can’t be out here without money.”
She accepted it. “I’ll find a way to pay you back.”
“It’s not a loan,” Ethan explained. “I’m just not heartless enough to see the woman who gave birth to me without a dollar to her name.”
“I really appreciate the ride and the money, but mostly I am grateful that you care about me just a little. It gives me hope that I haven’t lost you forever.”
Ethan did not respond.
When they arrived, he told Lydia, “I’m going to write you a check. This should help you while you look for work.”
“No,” she quickly interjected. “I would rather starve than take that check, Ethan. I don’t want your money—I want your love and your forgiveness. If you can’t give me that...” A lone tear rolled down her cheek. “Thank you for the ride. I won’t bother you anymore.”
Lydia turned to give him the money back, but he refused, saying, “Keep it. You need some cash.”
“What I need is my son.”
“Lydia, I wish you well. This is as much as I can offer you right now.”
* * *
“Did you get caught up in traffic?” Jordin asked when Ethan walked through the front door of his house.
“I dropped Lydia off at her friend’s house,” he announced. “She was outside my building when I walked out.”
“So you had a chance to talk to her then?”
“A little. I’m not ready for a full conversation with Lydia just yet.”
“This is the first step in the right direction,” Jordin stated.
“I knew you’d say that.”
She walked over to him and placed a kiss on his lips. “I’m so proud of you.”
“What smells so delicious?” he asked.
“I made a roast for dinner.”
“This night is just getting better and better,” Ethan murmured against her cheek.
“Wait until you find out what’s for dessert.”
“What is it?”
Jordin whispered in his ear.
“Let’s start with dessert...” Ethan picked her up and carried her up the stairs.
“What about the roast?”
“Is the oven turned off?”
“Yes.”
“It can wait.”
Jordin held on to him, smiling all the way to the bedroom.
* * *
Jordin did not leave for lunch until shortly after two in the afternoon, which was late for her. She left the courthouse later than she’d planned. On the way to her car, she heard someone call out her name.
She glanced around, seeing no familiar face.
“Jordin...”
She turned around once more, this time her gaze landing on a thin woman standing a few feet away. Her hair was a salt-and-pepper color; she was much thinner now and her shoulders looked like they bore the weight of the world, but Jordin recognized her. “Mrs. Holbrooke, how are you?” This was the last person she expected to see.
Lydia looked her up and down. “My goodness, you have grown into such a beautiful woman. It’s so nice to see you again.”
“Thank you,” Jordin responded. “I heard you were back in Charleston.”
“You must have talked to Ethan.”
She nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“How is he doing?”
Jordin didn’t miss the shimmer of sadness that shone in Lydia’s eyes. “He’s fine, Mrs. Holbrooke.”
“I guess you know that I’ve been trying to get him to talk to me but he refuses. I know that Ethan’s very angry with me.” She released a short sigh in resignation. “All I want is a chance to explain everything to him.”
“I’m on my way to grab a bite to eat,” Jordin interjected. “Why don’t you join me so we can talk?”
Lydia shook her head. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch...”
“You’re not,” she quickly assured her. “Please come with me. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
“You are still that same little sweet girl, I remember.”
Jordin unlocked the doors to her vehicle.
Once they were inside, she said, “Mrs. Holbrooke, I really think that you and Ethan should have a conversation, but he’s not interested in doing this right now. Maybe he just needs more time.”
“Jordin, I need you to understand that I never intended to just leave my son like that. I wouldn’t have abandoned him. The only reason I went with Rob was because we were supposed to come back the next day. Things went terribly wrong.”
“Ethan told me that you were in prison.”
“I was,” Lydia confirmed. “I honestly didn’t know that Rob was trafficking drugs. I didn’t even know he was a drug dealer.”
Jordin met her gaze. “How could you not know? Even I had heard the rumors back then about Rob and so d
id Ethan.”
“Because I believed in Rob,” Lydia stated. “I was so in love with him at that time. He owned a couple of laundromats and I just figured they were very successful businesses. Back then any black man making good money was said to be selling drugs. It wasn’t always true.”
After parking the car, Jordin turned to Lydia and asked, “So you really had no idea about the drugs in the car?”
“I didn’t. Rob was even going to testify to this, but he died before he could. I was told that he had a heart attack while in jail, but through the grapevine I heard the cops beat him up pretty bad.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through this ordeal,” Jordin stated.
“It was a hard lesson to learn but I survived. I just don’t want to lose my son.” A lone tear slid down her face.
“Ethan is under the impression that you knew about Rob and the drugs.”
“This is why I need to talk to him.”
Their conversation came to a pause until they were seated in a booth near a window.
“Mrs. Holbrooke, I need to tell you something,” Jordin began. “Your son asked me to marry him and I said yes. Ethan and I are engaged.”
Lydia broke into a smile. “I’m so happy for you both. I always knew that you would one day be my daughter-in-law.”
“I’m relieved that you approve,” Jordin said, picking up her menu.
“You’re good for him.”
“Order whatever you’d like. I’m buying.”
“Jordin, you don—”
“This is my treat, Mrs. Holbrooke,” she interjected. “My family’s hosting an engagement party a week from Saturday. Why don’t you come celebrate with us?”
“I don’t know if I should come. I really don’t want to upset Ethan.”
“I’ll get him to talk to you after the party,” Jordin assured her. “He needs to know the truth of what happened. Once he knows the truth, then you two can get past this.”
“When I heard he was back in Charleston, I was thrilled. I just want my son back in my life.”
“I’ll do what I can to help you.”
Lydia embraced her. “Thank you so much, Jordin.”
“You’re welcome,” she responded.
Jordin prayed she had done the right thing with inviting Lydia. Ethan really needed to sit down and hear his mother out. Maybe he would do so after the party.
Only for You Page 15
