by Alice Moore
But it just seemed like so much hassle.
“It’s the one my OBGYN recommended. Why would I not use it?” Tilting my head to stare at her, I frowned as memories flashed in my mind’s eye of every woman I’d ever met.
“Did she tell you to use pads instead of tampons, too?” Ally went bright red at my question, and I snorted roughly. “You know, they just offer you whatever is around. You should ask about something else when you go to have your implant removed.”
“Yeah- I get it. I’ll ask, okay? Why are we even talking about this? I never thought you’d want to talk about it.” Groaning at the embarrassed irritation that threaded Ally’s voice, I propped my head on my arm to heave a sigh. My masculinity wasn’t so fragile that I didn’t know about this kind of thing.
The idea of sex while Ally was on her period was a big turn off, though.
“Safe sex is great sex. That’s what my father told me when I first got together with Carla. I’m lucky she didn’t want to ruin her body with kids.” Saturday had flown by, and it was insane how near constant sex seemed to open a part of my mind I didn’t realize was there. When Ally and I weren’t sweaty and tangled together, we talked about things that were just as intense.
We spoke about growing up and the trials we faced; of the trials we were both currently facing. I still worried so much for Julianne, and Ally was pretty miserable at Wells.
But it was so much deeper than that.
“Matt always wanted kids- he just never found someone to settle down with. He always said he wanted to give his kids what he didn’t have. We share the same father, but our other siblings have different fathers. I think it really shaped him as a man, you know? Like, a child needs his or her dad not because it eliminates all problems, but because it makes it easier to fix them. Tommy and I never talked about having kids, but I know he didn’t really want any. He wanted to be a lawyer, and he wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that.”
“I agree with Matt on that. No matter what you make a year, every young man needs a father figure to help him. But- if I had to choose- I’d have girls. I remember when Julianne was born… it was, like, this magical thing. She was such a hard topic to bring up with everyone, but not to me. If I felt that way with my sister, I can’t even imagine what it’d feel like with a daughter.” Pausing to gather my thoughts, I pursed my lips together as I recalled everything I knew about Ally’s relationship with Tommy. She’d insisted that he wasn’t that bad, and I was inclined to agree- for the most part. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was sprucing the past up a little too much. “If Tommy didn’t want kids, what about you?”
“I would. I think I would be able to handle it better if it was unexpected, though. I mean, I spent four days planning last night, and I nearly gave myself an aneurysm. I think, if the choice was taken away, it’d be easier.” Humming at the thoughtfulness in her voice, I squeezed her shoulders as her heartbeat steady and slow against my ribs. “It’s not like I don’t want kids… I just- I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I’m not good with expectation.”
“Is that why you like being a teacher? Besides the helping and molding the young, of course. Because it’s pretty much the same thing every day perpetually?” Against my chest, Ally nodded, and some of the pieces came together. She was so used to doing things on the fly, a habit that reached all the way back to her early years. There was no certainty in anything for her growing up, so she rarely had to plan.
“Do you want to go out to dinner?” Pushing herself up onto her elbow at my suggestion, Ally smiled even as she shook her head. Frowning slightly, I opened my mouth to ask why only to receive a slender finger over my lips.
Wordlessly Ally climbed on top of me, and my hands automatically rested on her hips. My button-down hung limply over her shoulders, the buttons open to give me a peek at her perky breasts. The sight caused my mouth to water, and she rubbed my chest with her palms sensually.
Now that I’d had her, she was all I could think about. She had the body of a goddess and a personality that got my blood rushing and my inner teenage self-excited. Fun was a subjective term, and she knew how to make me feel alive.
“It’s only 4p.m., Roark. I’m in the mood for something lighter.” The wicked glint in Ally’s eyes sent my heart rate into overdrive, and I held my breath as she scooted back to sit on my thighs. My first time with her felt like I was losing my virginity all over again; it was awkward, intense, and over way too fast. But we went again and again until that uncertainty fizzled away, leaving nothing but experience behind.
“Wait-“ Rasping the command, I reached with eager fingers to grab Ally’s arm. She hadn’t done more than look at my cock, and I was already hard. Pulling her back up, I jostled her around as she gasped and giggled when my line of thinking dawned on her. Her ass jiggled temptingly, and I squeezed the tight globes as she draped herself down my front.
My thighs quivered when Ally wrapped her long fingers around my cock, and I closed my eyes to savor her soft breath sweeping down my shaft. Each shallow breath I took was filled with the smell of her sex, and I gripped her hips to pull her fully against my mouth. Her little, delighted noise shot straight to my groin, and I groaned against her ass cheek when she teased my head with the tip of her tongue. Tilting my hips insistently, I graced my teeth down to her flushed, abused folds to suck gently.
The guttural moan Ally let loose was musical, and I wrapped my arms around her hips as she wrapped her sinful lips around my cock. Whispering a slur against her clit, I licked my chapped lips heavily before parting her folds with my tongue. Sliding down to lick her needy bud, I held my breath as she took me as far down her throat as she could.
Her throat flexed around the head of my cock, and I chose that moment to clamp my teeth down on her clit. Instantly Ally choked, her back arching sharply as she slammed her palm down on my thigh to dig her nails into me. The urge to laugh was almost overwhelming, but I forced it back; after all, she had her teeth around the base of my cock.
I just wasn’t expecting her to pinch my fucking ball sack.
“Shit!” Flailing wildly, I let out the most girlish shriek I’d ever heard, and Ally barely managed to avoid getting kneed in the face. Shooting up to sit, I covered my package with both hands as she howled with laughter. Glaring hotly, I peeked through the gap in my hands, but the pain was already fading.
“What the Hell, Ally?” Scowling as Ally nearly cried from mirth, I flung out my arm to push her even as a chuckle bubbled up from deep in my chest. Crawling shakily towards me, she pressed her lips to me even as she giggled uncontrollably, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Y- you did that on p- purpose.” Wiping saliva from her chin, she somehow managed to stutter an accusation, and I reached to pull her to me and fall back. Her knees settled heavily on either side of my head, and I held her wrists tightly as I gazed up her pinked body.
“I’ll make it better.”
Ally
Slinking into the doctor’s examination room, I set my bag down on the floor to sit in the chair and sulk. Roark had been right, and that pissed me off just about as much as what he’d been right about.
Why was I going through the annoyance of a cervical implant when I can get an implant in my arm and not have to come back for three years?
“Ugh- I should’ve known…” Dropping my head into my hands, I sucked in air loudly through my nose to heave a sigh. “Just like with the pads…”
Groaning, I cringed as I remembered my idiot younger self. I was scared to use tampons, but pads gave me a rash. It wasn’t until I had to make an emergency trip to the nurse at the end of my senior year that I realized tampons were the best invention ever.
The door to the room opened, and surprise made my heart jump into my throat. Doctor Reeves’ smile was intense and bright, and I couldn’t help but smile as my dark mood vanished in her presence.
“Welcome back. I’ll just wait for you to change into the gown. Did you already give a urine s
ample?” Nodding firmly, I pushed myself up as Reeves set her burden on the counter to the left of the door. “Good, good. So, Ally, you’re only here for your insert removal?”
“Uh, yeah. I was actually wondering if you had a different one… maybe one that doesn’t require me to come in twice a month.” Doctor Reeves didn’t bat an eyelash, and I kicked off my shoes to shuffle out of my jeans. Hearing her snap latex gloves on, I wiggled out of my panties and shirt to hurry into my gown.
“Of course. If that’s the case, I’ll need to make another appointment and wait until after your period. So, is there any change in your sexual activity? Anything I need to know about?” Hopping up onto the exam bed, I laid down to stare at the ceiling as Reeves dropped into her rolling stool. Heat flushed my cheeks, and maybe she sensed what the silence was about before she spoke up again. “I take it there was a change? Do you want me to do an STD panel?”
“What? No- no… that’s okay. I mean, yeah- there was a change. I’m sexually active.” Well, not since Monday morning. Damn corporate meetings. Grimacing at the thought, I sighed as Reeves moved my willing feet into the stirrups. “He’s really great- like, I can’t believe it sometimes.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re feeling so confident about it. I know you had some cycle troubles after your last break up because you were depressed, and you never did go to that therapist I suggested. Anyway, let’s see what we have here. It’s going to be a little cold.” Without any other warning, Reeves did what she was trained to do, and I winced slightly. “Are you experiencing any trouble peeing or unusual cramps? Your internal tissues are red and a little swollen.”
“Ah- no… that would be the sex.” Discomfort churned my gut, but Reeves only hummed in understanding. Her gloved fingers reached deep, and I gripped the sides of the bed tightly before she spoke up again.
“Hang on- let me get a speculum.” Swiveling away with her fingers still inside me, Doctor Reeves used her free, clean hand to grab the instrument off the tray on the counter. “Try to relax a little for me, Ally.”
Speculums were a woman’s worst nightmare, and I squeezed my eyes shut and ground my teeth together harshly. It couldn’t be over fast enough, and the room descended into silence before she spoke up.
“Did your implant fall out?” The question made my head whip up, and I winced when the speculum dug into my inner walls. Between my legs, Doctor Reeves wore a deep frown, and I held my breath behind thin lips even as hers parted. “I’m not seeing it anywhere. Do you remember if anything happened over the past three weeks? Any rigorous abdominal activity, rough sex, or if you were constipated and used muscle relaxers?”
“I- I don’t think so? What does this mean? I- we didn’t use a condom and we had a lot of sex when I was supposed to be ovulating. I thought it was just regular discharge…” My eyes widened, and I fell back with a thud to groan loudly. “Oh shit- right after I left here last time, I skidded on the highway and slammed into the steering wheel. Would that do it?”
“Yeah. Do you want a test? It might be too early to be accurate, though.”
“Uh- no- no… I’ll just… get one if I miss my period. I really hope I don’t miss my period.” My voice wobbled, and my lips trembled, and I pushed the butts of my palms into my eyes. Carefully removing the speculum, Reeves was silent as I prayed to whichever deity would listen. Roark had never specified if he wanted kids, and I had to be stupid and jinx it by saying it should be a surprise.
Wow.
“Okay… well, you can put your clothes back on. I’ll wait for your call before making another appointment.” Reeves left without another word, and I sat up to smooth my paper gown over my legs. For a long, tense moment, I stared at the floor trying to figure out what to do. Plan B would still work; it was only Tuesday.
But there was the entire possibility that it wouldn’t work for Friday and Saturday.
This is bad.
Sliding off the exam table onto unsteady legs, I shoved off my dress to climb back into my clothes. My hands shook, and tears welled in my eyes when I fumbled with my jeans button. Snatching my bag, I shoved my feet into my sneakers to rush out of the room and down the hall.
Bursting into the parking lot, I took a huge breath of the cool, crisp air and held it. Early spring was my favorite time of year, but the sun shining on my face and the breeze in my hair didn’t make any difference. Slowly walking towards my car, I fished my cell phone out of my purse to scroll through my contacts.
Kelly would be in her last class right now, and it was that thought that stopped me from texting anyone. Everyone I knew was at work, and I hung my head in defeat on the way to my car.
“I’m going to go to the buffet…” Jerking the gear into drive, I grimaced at my own suggestion, but it was still the best idea I could come up with. Rolling out of my parking space, I held the wheel with a tight grip as I remembered how it’d betrayed me. I’d been wearing a skirt that day- because I was stupid. The temperature had been in the low 20s, but it was supposed to warm up. My appointment had been for early morning, and I barely made it out of this very lot before I was skidding down the hill towards oncoming traffic with no stop sign.
“Damn car.” Glaring out the windshield, I huffed and puffed as I tried to think of the best way to get to the buffet. “Should I go left or straight at the light…?”
The buffet was all the way across town, but in my anxious state, it only seemed to take a blink of an eye. Pulling into a parking spot near the door, I shoved the gear in park and turned off my car before raking both my hands in my hair. Grabbing my bag, I took a deep, steadying breath before climbing out of the driver’s seat.
Food wasn’t going to fix this problem, but it’d help me think. I didn’t even consider how depressing it was to go to an all-you-can-eat ribs and shrimp all by myself.
“Excuse me?” The buffet wasn’t all that crowded for lunch, and I flagged down someone that worked there with a wave of my hand. She looked bored, but her face instantly perked up on her way over to me. Smiling as she gave me the customary employee greeting, I adjusted my purse absently before opening my mouth. “Uh- do you have any balloons? Can you draw a face on one for me? I’m not having the best day.”
“Sure- no problem at all.” She didn’t ask any questions before bouncing away, and I busied myself with a trip to the salad bar. Grabbing a cool plate and fork, I looked over the vegetables that had obviously just been put out. The perks of being here for lunch.
Setting my loaded plate on a random table, I sat down and got comfortable before finding myself staring through the first course of what was going to be an epic lunch. My mind drifted, and I rolled my lips between my teeth absently.
It was crazy how the minuscule chance of pregnancy was making me stress eat like I had three stomachs. I could not be pregnant, but the anxiety associated with unprotected sex turned that notion invisible.
People had unprotected sex all the time and don’t get pregnant. Blinking slowly, I pictured the weekend and silently counted the numerous times Roark and I had been together. It’d started out intense and a little awkward, but that faded after I accidentally shoved my toes in his mouth during a particularly twitchy orgasm.
“Here’s your balloon…” The upbeat call made me jump, and I blinked hard to watch the hostess I’d just talked to flash a big, yellow balloon at me. “Do you want me to tape it to the chair?”
“Oh- yes, please. I’m sorry- I’m just going through some… stuff… by myself. It’s a mess, really.” Rattling off some crappy excuse, I sighed heavily as the hostess poised herself behind the chair directly across from me. She was young, no older than I was, and her face was full of understanding when she nodded to the tune of Scotch tape being pulled.
“I get it. If you need anything, I’ll be around.” Smiling at me, she made sure the balloon was secure before bouncing off again. Tilting my head to watch her dyed blonde ponytail swing, I propped my chin in my palm with a sigh. Grabbing my fork, my fingers didn’t shake a
nymore, and I took that as a good sign.
“Alright!” Pointing my fork at my makeshift friend, I narrowed my eyes as the balloon swayed slightly before stabbing a piece of cucumber. “Get ready for the massive amount of bullshit I’m going to unload on you!”
Roark
“How’d the interview go?” Leaning on the wall to smirk at Sam as he sauntered out of Julianne’s room, I furrowed my brows when he scowled. Sweeping past me, he shoved his hands in his pockets, and I pushed myself off the wall to follow him to the kitchen.
“You know, if I knew she was going to ask me such well thought out, not bullshit questions, I would’ve prepared better. She asked me about the effects of hallucinogens on the prefrontal cortex while it was in the system and after it’d cleared. Why does a 14-year-old know about the prefrontal cortex? Huh? I was so shocked I told her I was tripping once and thought the toilet was a fucking monster that wanted to do experiments on me involving sewer rats and toxic waste.” A bark of laughter ripped from my chest, and I clapped my hand on Sam’s shoulder hard. He only scowled as he threw open the refrigerator door, and I leaned on the island with a huge grin painted on my face.
“You should’ve known better, Sam.” I didn’t envy him at all; Julianne had already interviewed me after I got back from California, and it’d been fairly straightforward. My little sister only asked me about investments, how they worked, and the business aspects of running a research facility. Chuckling at the snotty glare Sam shot me from over his leftover bar-b-que chicken sandwich, I quietly shook my head.
“On to a different topic- when are you going to bring Ally over and introduce us, huh? You spent the whole weekend at her place, and I know you reached the horizontal mambo milestone.” Propping my cheek in my hand, I rolled my eyes as Sam wiggled his brows suggestively. The sound of plastic wrap crinkling echoed around the kitchen, but I ignored it to contemplate his question. I couldn’t deny that I thought of introducing Ally to my father while I was on a five-hour plane ride across the country. Our relationship had taken a huge bound forward, and meet the parents seemed like the next step to take.
