Lacy thanked her and hurried away. She didn’t want Gannon to wake up and not have anyone there. And Mrs. Anderson injured. She prayed for her and hoped Gannon would still be here when Thad arrived.
She stopped at a huge window took a long sip of hot tea and gazed out into the parking lot. It was nearly dark. Then she saw him. A car pulled up and he gave the keys to the attendant and began walking in that confident way he had—back straight, shoulders swaying slightly, head held high. Her heart began to beat furiously. What in the world? She had been numb to his kiss. And wondered why. He was a good man. Why couldn’t she just get to know him? Too tired to think about it right now, she decided to let Thad take over from here. She was nearly knocked over when he came flying around the corner. Tea splashed from her cup onto her blouse.
“Lace.” Thad’s deep voice sounded near her ear. “I’m sorry…I was just…
She looked up and saw concern in his brown eyes and realized he was still holding onto her. He dropped his arms. Then she noticed his face.
“Oh, Thad!” She lifted her hand to touch the smooth skin that was once scarred, but thought better of it.
“Take me to him,” Thad ignored her observation.
She brushed off her blouse and led the way.
“How bad is it?”
“He’s being kept very quiet and is still asleep. I think he’s waiting for you.”
Instantly she regretted her words. “The nurse says he’s doing well, though.”
“I’m just glad he’s still here.” Thad mumbled.
Lacy shut her mouth and led him to Gannon’s room and turned to leave.
“Oh no you don’t. Sit down, Lace. I need you here. No running off this time.”
She took the far chair glad that he wanted her there. And watched a grown man whisper in his grandfather’s ear and heard him say how much he loved him, tears forming in his handsome eyes. Her heart twisted and her eyes filled up.
Lacy watched Gannon try to move. His hand lifted slightly.
“Look he’s reaching for you,” She stood and stepped closer to Thad.
Thad took the older man’s hand into his. Lacy felt like she was intruding and headed for the door. A knot formed in her throat and she knew tears would follow.
Suddenly she felt Thad grab her wrist. “Stop running, will you? Pray that I can tell him about Jesus.” He whispered.
Lacy felt like she’d been spiritually punched. Thad wanted her to pray. She took a seat and closed her eyes and prayed that God would hear.
Once Gannon knew Thad was there, she watched as they began to interact. The beauty of the moment paralyzed her. Thad kept talking, pulling his grandfather from that deep place a soul goes to when they near death.
Eyes fluttered open, tears fell down the side of Gannon’s face and Thad kept wiping them away as his own dropped to the sheets. Lacy couldn’t help but weep. Gannon couldn’t speak with all the tubes, but there was no need for words.
After awhile she saw Thad lean down and whisper in Gannon’s ear for quite some time.
Once or twice Thad looked back to make eye contact with her. She reassured him with a look. A certain confidence drew up inside of her. She had to be strong.
Thad and Gannon talked for two long days. She went home each day and spent it with the girls then came back during the evening to give Thad a chance to go to his apartment for a shower and get dinner.
Finally, the order came for the tubes to be removed. Gannon’s heart was irreparable and nothing more could be done. Three days after Thad’s arrival, Gannon left this world and Lacy knew for certain that he rested peacefully in the arms of Jesus.
When the time came to leave the hospital permanently, Thad didn’t say a word, just took her hand and walked out to his rental car with his head down, put her in it and drove. The silence was deafening at first. What words could one say at a time like this.
After a long drive and little talk, both were spent. She reminded him her vehicle was in the parking garage.
“We’ll get it later. I’ll drive you to pick up the girls.” Thad announced, his voice deep, hoarse. “Do they know yet?”
“Yes, I called Kippy.” Lacy saw the concern in his eyes when he glanced at her.
“I’m so sorry Mrs. Anderson didn’t make it in time.” Her voice low. “I’m glad you were able to reach her before she hurried over.”
“I am too. Guess God knows things we don’t.”
Lacy nodded in agreement and pointed her gaze out the window. There was nothing that would change that fact.
He drove to Kippy’s and got out, held her hand as they went inside. Ting ran to her sobbing. Kew, sad, stood nearby.
He drove the girls home.
“I can make dinner, if you’re hungry.” Lacy offered.
“Thanks. I appreciate it, Lace, but I think I’ll go on back to my place. I’ll take you to get your truck tomorrow.”
“You can stay . . . “
Thad interrupted her. “No, thanks. Better if I stay in town.”
“Okay.”
“It’s just…just that it’s not right me staying here. When I was here last time I was recovering. Now I’m not. I’ll be gone most of tomorrow making arrangements. I’ll be by early so you can get your truck.”
“Right.”
“Do you mind if I pick you up for breakfast? We can discuss some of the stuff that needs to be done.”
“Of course not,” Lacy answered.
“Thanks for staying with him until I could get here.” Thad leaned in her doorway.
The air in the room became thick and stale.
“See you tomorrow. I’ll call. I’m going to stop at the hospital and visit Mrs. Anderson.”
He reached for the door knob and then turned back.
Lacy wanted to go with him. Didn’t want him to go alone. But she had the girls to console.
“You and the girls going to be okay?”
“Yes, we will be fine.” She assured him, straightening her shoulders. “Just fine.”
Thad looked at her long and hard. She couldn’t read the message in his eyes. Then he left.
Chapter 57
Lacy could have bit off her tongue. Of course she wasn’t all right. So then why did she say she was? All these years she had always let people think she was fine. She could see the hurt in Thad’s eyes when she told him, in so many words, she didn’t need him to console her.
She struggled with those thoughts, remembering how people had tried to comfort her at the passing of her parents, but she had stone-walled them. She forced herself be strong for Allison’s sake. At least that’s what she told herself.
Seeing clearly for the first time she knew what drove her. That night at age seventeen at Thad’s prom. The powerlessness she felt. The hopeless feeling knowing she couldn’t save herself. She vowed quietly and alone that night standing in the shower for nearly an hour, too stunned to even cry. The wall had gone up with a fierce determination and she had not let anyone come near to opening her heart again. Then when her parents died, she cemented the cracks so well even Thad had not been able to break through.
And the wall had showed its ugly face again. When she needed Thad to hold her, tell her it would be all right, she had chosen to stand firm, pretending everything was all right when it wasn’t.
She shut the door, leaned her forehead against the back of it and wanted to shout up to the heavens. Instead she slowly climbed up the stairs, went up to the girls’ rooms. She had a responsibility to them first. She found them together talking quietly. She asked to join them, spent some time explaining what would be happening over the next few days, and asked if they had any questions. They had both looked at her with worried gazes. She could see they were frightened. But this time she let tears fall and they all hugged each other as she answered the question she knew they wanted to ask.
“I’ll always be here for you. Both of you. As long as God gives me breath. But if I should go…just know I’ll be waiting there for you.”
She pointed upward. “Kew would you mind making dinner tonight…and Ting there’s a load of laundry that needs to be done. I’m going for a walk. Okay?”
She double checked with eye contact and knew they understood she needed to be alone. Giving them something to do would keep them busy and she could process whatever it was God was laying so heavy on her heart.
* * *
Gannon’s memorial service went as planned—happy music, a few pictures and many people attending to pay their last respects. Mrs. Anderson sobbed heavily, her shoulders shaking with each intake of air. Lacy’s heart broke for her. She had found a second love she said and lost him so soon. She was in need of pain medication for her arm. Thad walked them to the car promising he and Lacy would visit in a couple days.
Thad kept Lacy by his side the entire time, although she felt a bit awkward being there. When the last person walked out of the hall where they’d eaten together, Thad suggested they go to her house, change clothes and take the girls to the mall to shop for Christmas gifts.
Lacy couldn’t imagine Christmas shopping after all of this. How do you pick up life as usual immediately after experiencing such a loss? But she didn’t have to ask. He volunteered the answer.
“I’m giving the girls some money from Gannon’s account, at his request, to buy gifts for their families back home. We’ll ship it over and see if we can help them. Maybe someday the girls will see them again.”
“Kew doesn’t know her parents. And I don’t think Ting can ever go back.”
“Well, then they can buy for their friends and others they know. We only have this life on earth once. As you can see, we will be old before we know it, Lace. Then we’ll be gone, too.”
She nodded at the realization that he was right. Kippy had told the girls all about the reason for Christmas. Christ’s birth and joy at offering us a place with Him someday. So very unfamiliar to them was the giving of gifts. They thought gifts were given only if there was service done. But they learned that gifts were free with no strings or strongholds attached.
For four hours they shopped through store after store, Christmas music making them merry in the midst of extreme sadness. Thad carried packages to the car twice. The girls knew a lot of people from their country who needed things. For girls who were trapped in the trafficking sector that they were unable to rescue, they bought journals so they could write their stories. But how could they get them to the girls? They were always being watched.
But Kew had a plan. She had escaped because someone had befriended her and cared enough to help. She was offered a job making jewelry and promised that if she wanted to be free, the people there would help her. She chose to take that leap of faith and made her way to freedom. That was why she also chose to come to America. She had no family left in China and wanted more than anything to train for the Olympics. She had seen the coverage on television when, per chance, she managed to catch a glimpse or two.
She knew of an agency to send gifts to and knew exactly what the girls needed. She had a friend with a little girl and bought gifts for her and little things for her room where they stayed.
The more they shopped, the more Lacy felt that Christmas had arrived. The true Christmas. One that reaches out to others with love and compassion. She and Thad exchanged looks all evening. Finally, hunger and excitement sent them to a mall restaurant where the girls began to talk excitedly between themselves. Thad smiled across the table at Lacy.
“I can’t believe how great your face looks,” Lacy stammered, realizing she basically just told him he was handsome. “Your surgeon did a nice job. Do you think you’ll even need the second surgery? Maybe not, if this one works. Maybe you’ll be working again soon.” She rambled. A sign that she was nervous. She knew Thad knew that sign well and noted he smiled, waiting for her to finish.
“Thanks. Yes he’s a great surgeon. Probably yes. And I won’t be going back to acting.”
“Oh,” She looked down, face growing hotter as she realized how transparent she seemed. She played with the fork and the napkin on the table and forced herself to put her hands in her lap.
“Nervous?”
“Why would I be nervous?
“No reason.” Thad lifted his Coke glass drank and grinned while keeping eye contact with her.
She saw that look of his. A knowing look. The food came just in time, because Lacy thought that she could not stand one more minute at the table with him. She fidgeted and avoided eye contact with Thad, fussing with the girls a bit and straightening her napkin. As the waiter walked away, Thad announced, “We’re going to pray over our meals from now on.”
Lacy watched as Thad shut his eyes, bowed his head, and watched both girls, even Kew follow his lead. Afterward, she picked up her fork slowly and began to eat. Things were different. Very different.
Chapter 58
Thad drove up the lane to the farm. Fat, white flakes fell on the ground, the black iron pole light contrasting sharply. The girls chatted in the back seat, Kew every now and again explaining what they were talking about. Christmas was one week away.
The trunk was full. The girls grabbed a few special packages and ran for the house, freezing. She and Thad brought the rest of them inside and put them on the island in the kitchen.
“Hey you’ve been making some changes around here?” Thad noted.
“Yes, Al and Dario did some work while I was gone.”
“Nice job.” He smoothed his hand over the island’s countertop. And you’ve changed the dining room….what…into a sewing room?” He stood in the doorway.
“Yep.” She followed him.
“I didn’t know you sewed.”
“Ever since I was a little girl. My mother made all our clothes.”
“That’s pretty amazing. Hey, What’s this?”
Thad picked up a piece of wadded up pink voile laying near the trash can.
“Oh nothing.” She snatched it from his hands and tossed it back. It must have gotten stuck in the bottom.
“Nothing?”
“Never mind, Thad.” She grumped. “Let’s get the girls to come get their stuff. You know we have to get addresses and ship all this over. I have no idea how long it’ll take or if there are any special…you know…rules…and…” she started to walk away.
Lacy felt herself pulled back into his embrace with a strong hand at her elbow. “Stop talking about nothing. What’s wrong? Why did you get upset over that fabric?”
She tried to pull away, but couldn’t. He was too strong. And determined. She could see the look in his eyes.
“Talk Lace.” He ordered. “I’m not letting go until you do.”
“Something made you mad, or hurt you. I saw it in your eyes.”
She felt stupid tears well up.
“What is it? You can tell me.”
His soft tone and strong hold of her tore down the walls.
“Fine you want to know? I’ll tell you. That was from the dress I was wearing…at…the….
“At the prom that night?” He finished.
“I recognize the material now. You looked so beautiful…” he whispered.
“You remember? That was so long ago,” she looked down, wondering how he could possibly have remembered.
“I never forgot how you looked that night,” Thad’s soft voice somehow made her heart hurt.
“Well now you know, Thad Gannon. What good does it do?” She tried to wriggle out of his hold.
He pushed her back a bit and loosened his hold. “It made you tell the truth. That’s what it did.”
“Well, you want to know some more truth?”
Thad kept his mouth shut and nodded.
“I hated you for sending me home with him. I hated you…”
Thad did not break eye contact with her. “You had every right.”
“You should have protected me. You’re the one who asked me to go.” Lacy felt her voice rise. “It was you who put me into that situation!” She poked her finger hard into this chest.
“That was my first prom. Ever. And I was so, so…I loved you even then, Thad.”
Lacy pulled out of his embrace.
Thad kept his hands at his side.
“And you’d never been kissed had you?”
Lacy looked at him with disbelief. What did he think? She was loose and was asking to be raped.
“No Thad. I had never been kissed and…I never…I never…I was…” Lacy could not go on. She pounded on his chest and then her knees gave out, as though a great burden had been pulled out of her. She had no more fight left.
Thad caught her up in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Baby. I was a jerk. I wish I could take it back. I would have never let you go with him if I would have known.”
Lacy sobbed on his shoulder too ashamed to let him look at her.
“I want you, you know.” Thad whispered in her ear.
Lacy stiffened. Did he think because she was used once she could be again?
“Not like that.” Thad said forcefully. “At least not yet,” He added quickly. “First you need to know that I love you. When you told me what happened that day on the drive, I saw you— the real you—for the first time. I knew you had a crush on me back then. You were so shy, but I felt it. I was just too full of myself to stop and really get to know you. I missed my chance, Lace.”
Lacy hiccupped and lifted her head. “Put me down.”
He did and shoved his hands in his back pockets. “I know you don’t believe me. But believe this. The only reason I didn’t ask you and the girls to stay with me in California was because I love you. I spent a lot of time while you were there talking to some guys at church. Stephanie and her brother took me under their wing. I learned a lot about myself, learned about God’s principles and found out I was coming up short in a lot of areas. Stephanie and the guys suggested I let you go and wait to see if God would bring you back. I thought that was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard. Every woman I wanted, I went after.”
Lacy sniffed and started to say something.
“Woman, wait until I’m done.”
She snapped her lips closed. She felt the warmth of his hands on her shoulders now.
Lacy's Lane Page 29
