“I’d like to think that’s the end of it,” Dante said to Trey as he paced slowly in his office. “But I doubt even the beating they were given will stop them from coming after me again. Or Jaime.” Trey leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on the table. “You say she got involved in the fight but didn’t lose control?”
“Like I tried to explain, her situation with her wolf isn’t like yours. It’s not that she lives close to the surface and so puts Jaime at risk of turning feral. Her wolf is just…traumatized. It means she’s constantly on the offensive, but it’s because she’s scared. Most of the time Jaime’s in control of her, but sometimes her wolf gets enough strength to lunge for the surface. Despite that she’s been doing that for the past four years, Jaime has kept enough control that she hasn’t shifted forms.”
“So that’s why you started training her. You think if she has better control, if she makes herself stronger, she’ll be able to suppress her wolf.” Trey sighed. “I’m sorry, Dante, but I don’t see how that will work. Oh it’ll work for a while, sure. Maybe even a few years. But soon her wolf will gather enough strength again, because what’s happening isn’t natural. Confining her wolf isn’t natural. Don’t kid yourself into thinking you can truly help her, because you can’t.” Dante shook his head. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do, and so do you. It would be the same as the body trying to work without a heart.
Your heart is too much a part of your body just like your wolf is too much a part of your soul. One can’t exist without the other.”
“Maybe her wolf will get used to being confined and stop fighting to surface.”
“You know that she won’t—she’s a dominant wolf. Dante, it doesn’t make you a failure that you can’t help her.”
“And if this was Taryn we were talking about? What would you do?” Trey’s expression was fierce. “Everything I could to keep the crazy woman alive, no matter what it was.”
Dante hadn’t expected any other answer. “Then don’t ask me to give up on Jaime. I won’t.”
“She matters to you even more than I thought,” Trey observed with a frown.
“Jaime’s mine.” The sound of his cell phone interrupted whatever Trey had been about to say.
“It’s Tao,” he told Trey before answering. “Hello.”
There was a hesitant pause and then Tao sighed heavily, almost as if in resignation. “It’s Jaime.”
Dante’s wolf went still. “What about her?”
Another pause. “She left.”
“She what?”
“About fifteen minutes ago,” he answered reluctantly. “She left in her Chevy carrying a bulging backpack.”
“Why are you only telling me now?” A growl trickled out of Dante as realization dawned on him. “You weren’t going to, were you? Christ, Tao!”
“You don’t need to yell at me! I feel bad enough, all right! Just go and get her and bring her back. She’s pack, and she shouldn’t be out there alone.”
“I’ll deal with you later,” Dante promised him before ending the call, only interested in finding Jaime and carting her back over his shoulder.
CHAPTER NINE
Three times Jaime kicked the tire. Not that she thought it would make the car suddenly roar to life or anything, but it sure felt good. So Dante had been right. Her Chevy was on its way out. And now here she was in the middle of a dirt road with no choice but to take her bag and carry it the rest of the way to Ivy’s house. Huffing and cursing, she threw her backpack over her shoulder, slammed the door shut, and began walking.
As she’d left pack territory, she’d seen only Tao, who was beginning gate duty. He’d seen her bag, known she was leaving for good. For a second she’d thought she spotted guilt on his face…Nah.
What she knew for sure was that he’d keep Dante occupied long enough that the big giant wouldn’t realize she was gone until she’d had enough time to get away. She suspected that he might want to come after her. Dante was the most determined person she knew, and he took his job seriously; it wouldn’t sit well with him to think that he’d failed one of his wolves. But Trey wouldn’t let him come after her, he’d talk sense into him, would disconnect her from the pack link with utmost relief.
At that point a countdown would start. She wasn’t sure how long it would be before her wolf finally took over, though she was certain she’d have at least a couple of days. She figured that she’d spend that time with her two BFFs and then…well, Ivy wasn’t going to like what Jaime was about to ask of her. But she was a practical enough person to admit that Jaime was right.
Not saying good-bye to Gabe had been hard, but she’d call him later and explain. He’d be in a homicidal mood for sure, but he’d understand. She’d have to make him swear to take care of Hunk too, she mused.
Hearing the sound of a vehicle in the distance, she turned. Hitchhiking wasn’t the most attractive idea, but it was a lot better than walking all the way to Ivy’s house. It was only as the vehicle approached that she realized what she was looking at. The pack’s Toyota Highlander. Oh.
Great.
Sighing, she waited until the SUV came close. Dante was out almost at the same time that the engine cut off. He stalked predatorily toward her. Her wolf paused in her pacing, unsure whether to regard him as a threat. He stopped in front of her, his face unreadable and blank, giving away nothing of the rage that was practically seeping out of his pores.
“You tried to leave me.”
Jaime blinked rapidly, surprised by his gruff words. She was sort of expecting a lecture for sneaking off. “I couldn’t stay there.”
“Why?” His tone was harsh.
“You know why.”
He arched a brow tauntingly. “Giving up so soon, Jaime?”
She barely managed to keep her anger in check. “I have no choice but to leave, even if it does make things worse.”
“No choice?”
“I’m not wanted there.”
“If you weren’t wanted there, you’d have been banished.”
“That’s certainly what most of the pack want. I heard that much for myself.” His entire body stilled. It was then he noticed the flickers of pain in her eyes. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t trust himself to touch her right now. Fury was thrumming through him, and his wolf was urging him to bite her, to remind her that she was his. “Who upset you?”
“They only said what I already knew. Then they started questioning your competency as Beta, all because you want me to stay. I couldn’t have that.”
Although that touched him, he couldn’t soften his voice. He was still so damn angry with her for leaving. “So you thought you’d scuttle away without a word?”
“You would have tried to stop me, just like you are now.”
He gave a short, humorless laugh. “No, baby, I am going to stop you. Where would you have gone, anyway? To Shawn?”
“To Ivy, actually. I was going to stay with her for a couple of days and ask her to give me an injection when I do finally shift.”
“An injection that will kill you? Damn it, Jaime!” He felt sick at the mere idea of it.
“Look, I get that it’s hard for you to feel like you’ve let down one of the wolves you’re responsible for, but I’ve left. I’m not part of the pack now—you’re not responsible for me anymore.” He fisted a hand possessively in her hair. “You. Are. Mine. That’s it, that’s all there is to it.” His wolf fully agreed.
She struggled against his grip, but he only tightened it. Her wolf bucked at his dominance, both liking and disliking it. “Fucking me doesn’t mean I belong to you!” She gasped as suddenly his mouth came down hard on hers, giving her a punishing, possessive, demanding kiss that told her he meant every word, that she was going nowhere but with him.
When he finally broke away, they were both panting. “Like I said, you’re mine. I protect what’s mine. You are going to come back with me, and you are going to learn every single skill I teach you to make you str
onger, and we’ll deal with what comes together. Now get in the SUV, Jaime.” His voice was softer now, but his tone was unmoving.
The picture he’d painted was so tempting, so very much what Jaime wanted, but his possessiveness made no sense. The protectiveness, sure. But not the possessiveness. “You told me you don’t do relationships.”
“I don’t. It only ends up a mess when true mates come along.” The hurt in his eyes made her chest ache. “Then why? Why ask for more?” A slight pause. “Because you matter.”
Her stomach fluttered at his words. No, it wasn’t some kind of romantic declaration. It was a simple truth delivered in a no-bullshit manner, and she liked it even more for that.
“Before you think to scoff at what I’ve said and tell me that I don’t matter to you, know that it won’t make me leave you here. You’re coming back with me either way.” Denying her feelings might have been smart, but she wanted to take the hurt out of his eyes, not make it worse. “You know you matter,” she said sharply, which earned her a cocky smile. Then his arm was around her and he was drawing her to him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. “Tell me what happened, Dante.”
He stiffened, knowing what she meant. It was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but she wasn’t going to totally understand everything until he told her. He kissed her forehead and went to sit on the tree stump a few feet away. “Her name…was Laurie. My wolf went crazy whenever she was around, just like he does with you.” He almost smiled at the surprise on her face. She really had no idea what she did to him.
“To be blunt, we fucked like rabbits. But it was more than that, I…well, I cared about her.
Loved her. Three months later imprinting began without us even consciously deciding it, but both of us were glad about it. A few weeks later, her true mate came along—though she hadn’t realized it, because she was partly imprinted with me. That blocked her ability to feel the mating bond. But he knew, and he set out to make sure that the imprinting stopped.” Hearing the pain in his voice, she opened her mouth to tell him that he didn’t need to say any more, but he shook his head and lifted his hand to stop her.
“He seduced her into cheating on me. I could actually feel her pleasure through the partial bond. I knew that she was with someone else, knew how much she was enjoying it.” Oh God. Before she’d even thought about it, Jaime was straddling him and curling her arms around his neck. “You really don’t have to—”
“No, I do.” He took a preparatory breath, rubbing his hands up and down her back, taking strength from her. “I hunted them both down, ready to kill him. She stopped me, said she chose him.
That was painful enough, and the breaking of the imprinting bond was even more painful. I had migraines all the time, this weird empty feeling, and sometimes I was close to being medically depressed. What added to it all was that her true mate…is actually my brother.” Jaime gaped. “What?”
“You remember Blane, right?”
The name made her wolf growl. Blane was the oldest of the six and had been the worst when it came to taunting Dante. All of them had tormented him. But Blane…She’d often wondered if he was stable. She’d been relieved when he mated into another pack four years after Dante had left. She hadn’t once thought that his mate had been half Dante’s at the time that he found her. “He made me eat a spider once. I spat it at his face.”
Dante chuckled. “Good girl. As you know, my dad was Beta when I was a kid, and he was pretty caught up in his job. When he chose his position over Mom, she sort of…deflated. She became a shadow of her former self. She didn’t live, she just existed, going through the motions.”
“You think that was why she died when you were seven? Feeling the bond weaken made her weak?”
He nodded. “When Dad didn’t survive the loss and Blane became our guardian because he was the oldest, there was no one to hold him back from targeting me all the time, so the bullying got worse. The others followed his example. I think that’s why control is so important to me. My childhood was like a whirlwind. So many things happened around me and to me, none of which I could do anything about, no way of stopping it, no way of protecting myself, no way of helping my mom as I watched her slowly weaken until she was just a shell.”
“I get it,” she said softly. She also understood that if she was to have any kind of relationship with him, she would have to accept his controlling streak and occasionally accommodate it.
“All my life Blane took things from me—toys, clothes, CDs, money. And then he took her. And he loved that he’d been able to do it. I can understand that he would want her as badly as he did, but had it been me and I found my mate happily involved with someone else, I’d have walked away. I wouldn’t have wanted to cause her any pain by separating her from someone she obviously cared for.”
No, he wouldn’t have, thought Jaime. He was too good a person to do something like that.
Could anyone really blame her for being obsessed with the guy?
Absentmindedly, he began twirling a strand of Jaime’s hair around his finger. “That’s why I swore I’d never get into a relationship again until my true mate. But then you came along.” He smiled, tracing her lips with the tip of his finger. “My wolf was practically obsessed with you, and I was constantly hot and hard for you. I kept you at a distance, but then I hated that distance. You know, even when we were kids I was protective of you. I didn’t like it when I didn’t know where you were.”
“You hated me,” she countered.
“No, I didn’t. You irritated me,” he chuckled, “but I didn’t hate you. Who do you think got that group of bullies off your back? You reminded me of me. I saw you getting teased, and it made me think of what I had to deal with at home.”
“I’m sorry you had to deal with all that. And I’m sorry about what happened with that bitch.” His lips curved into a grin. “Is that jealousy I hear?”
“Damn right. I have an ugly jealous streak. I have a lot of ugly streaks. So I can’t understand why we’re having this conversation. You know how broken I am, you—”
“You’re not broken,” he quickly insisted. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. On the contrary, you’re stronger than most people I know.”
“Not strong, just too stubborn to give in to my wolf.”
He shook his head, sighing inwardly. She would never see herself as he saw her. “The reason I told you about Laurie is so that you’d understand what you’re getting into.” His tone was serious now, grave. “If we take this further, I won’t let you go. If your true mate comes along, I won’t step aside. If he tries to take you, I’ll kill him. My wolf won’t see him as someone who has rights to you either. He’ll see him as a threat, and he’ll want nothing more than to rip his throat out. If you say yes now, that’s it. You have to tell me if you can deal with that.” His intense possessiveness shouldn’t have been a turn-on, but it was. Soon enough she’d work out what was wrong with her. “What if your true mate comes along?” He brushed her nose with his. “She’ll most likely hate me, because I won’t leave you. I kept telling myself that the reason I don’t want to find her is that I’m not ready yet, but the truth is I won’t ever be ready. She’ll want too much from me, and she’ll eventually ask me to give up my position as Beta, just like my mom did to my dad.”
“You’re sure she’d do that?”
“I’ve seen it happen to a lot of Beta pairs. The female doesn’t like that her mate’s loyalty, attention, and time has to be divided. This is something else you need to understand. My job is very demanding, Jaime. I have a lot of responsibilities, and it means I won’t be able to give you the same time and attention that another guy could, that your true mate could. I need to know if that’s enough for you.” What he didn’t say was that if she told him that she didn’t want him, there wasn’t a chance that he would leave her alone. He’d hound her until she changed her mind.
“You’ve been honest, so I will, too. As cruel as it might sound, I don’
t want to find my true mate, either. I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just that I can’t give him all of me. I can’t let down my walls without letting my wolf get out. Plus, I’d be risking his life if I mated with him. If my wolf does surface and turn rogue, she’ll have to be killed. It won’t be easy for him to survive that.” He nodded in understanding, thinking that maybe a relationship between them might just work.
Jaime understood him and respected how much he cared for his job, and she wouldn’t want to imprint any more than he would.
“But there’s the little detail that you’ll never be able to control me all the time the way you want to. I’ve no doubt that you’ll still try. You can’t help yourself. But you’ll only end up frustrated and pissed.”
He shrugged. “That’s all right. Makeup sex is good.” He took her mouth gently this time, having a long, leisurely taste. “Don’t leave me again.” It was an order, but even he heard the slight plea in those words.
“I won’t,” she promised. Not willingly anyway.
No matter how many times Jaime assured him the following morning that she had no intention of running again, she couldn’t make him relax. Not even the physical toll from the training session calmed his agitated state. He was convinced that if the pack gave her a hard time or talked any more about if he was fit to be Beta, she would be tempted to leave. He was right; she would be tempted.
But she’d promised him that she wouldn’t leave him again, and Jaime didn’t break her promises.
Still, Dante was set on ensuring that the pack didn’t say anything else that might act as a trigger and make her break that promise, which was why he had his arm curled around her as they went for breakfast. His hold made it clear that he considered her his, that he believed he had a claim on her.
Wicked Cravings tpp-2 Page 16
