Jaime noted that Leif tensed at the contact and was peering up at his mother with a confused expression, almost as if her affection and pride in him was unusual.
“It’s the Garcea blood, isn’t it, kid?” Dante said to him.
Leif smiled a crooked smile that looked so much like Dante’s, and Jaime’s heart almost broke.
The possible implications were just too much for her to take in right then. She needed to get away, even though it wouldn’t be a good move to leave while the only woman he’d ever loved was practically lounging all over him, talking madly about a kid who was quite possibly his. The jerk wasn’t even removing her hands from him!
At any other time, Jaime would have clawed the bitch and made her claim on Dante clear, but what was the point in her making any kind of possessive gesture? Jaime cared for Dante—more than she was willing to admit, in fact—but that was part of the problem. Just as she’d anticipated, it ate at her to be with him, caring so much for him, when those feelings weren’t returned.
She “mattered,” he’d say. Yeah? Well, “mattering” to him wasn’t enough to make her feel secure in the relationship. Because of that, he didn’t feel like he was hers. If the delighted look on his face was anything to go by, he was still very much in love with Laurie anyway. He looked the happiest he had looked all night. Far be it for her to ruin the prick’s cozy reunion with the female who had once betrayed and left him. If he actually stupidly preferred someone so disloyal and fickle, they deserved each other.
Fifteen minutes had gone by since Dante first noticed that Jaime wasn’t beside him. He’d guessed that maybe she’d gone to get another drink or use the restrooms, but she still hadn’t reappeared. She could have just gotten to talking to someone, but both he and his wolf had the feeling that that wasn’t it.
“Excuse me,” he muttered to Laurie, who was jabbering on about something or other. He’d forgotten how vain and superficial she was. Or maybe he just hadn’t noticed before. He hadn’t taken more than four steps before he heard her calling him.
“Dante, wait.”
He turned. “I can’t, I need to find Jaime. I don’t suppose you saw which way she went, did you?”
She studied his face and then her smile fell. “She’s more than just a packmate to you, isn’t she?” She bit her bottom lip, suddenly looking nervous. “Could we go somewhere to talk? Alone?”
“About what?”
“I just wanted to clear things up. I know the decision I made, leaving you for Blane…I know it must have hurt you and—”
He quickly cut her off. “Laurie, you chose to be with your mate. I can’t blame you for that.”
“I heard that you stopped dating after I left you.”
And that had flattered her, he realized. “What happened made me hesitate to get involved in a relationship again, yeah.”
“But you’ve made an exception with Jaime?” She didn’t sound too happy about it. As if she thought he should be still pining after her.
“Yes. Look, I need to go find her.”
“Wait.”
“What, Laurie?” he asked impatiently. She flinched at his tone.
“You hate me, don’t you? Please don’t, Dante. I couldn’t bear it if you hated me.” Why did he get the feeling that this was all an act to get him to stay with her and comfort her?
“I don’t hate you. It was a long time ago. Say bye to Leif for me.” He moved away before she could say another word and headed to where Josh stood only a few feet away. “You haven’t seen Jaime, have you?”
He chuckled. “I’m the one person you can be sure she’d avoid.”
“So you haven’t seen her?”
“No. I’m surprised you let her leave your side.”
“You could have warned me that Laurie was here.”
Josh had the grace to look sheepish. “I actually hadn’t expected any of you to come and—”
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter.”
“Well, if you’ve been distracted so much by your ex that you neglected Jaime, you can bet your ass that she’s left by now.”
Dante was thinking the same thing. Nodding, he delved into his pocket and retrieved his cell as he walked away, continuing to scan the crowds. To his surprise, she answered on the fourth ring. Oh.
He’d sort of expected the silent treatment. Maybe she wasn’t pissed after all. “Hey, baby, where are you?”
“What the fuck do you care?”
No, she was definitely pissed. “Where are you?”
“I’m in a cab, and I’m about five minutes away from pack territory.” He picked up his pace until he was practically marching to the SUV. “I’m on my way back now.”
“Oh don’t leave on my account! Stay with your precious Laurie and have a for-old-time’s-sake fuck! I hope she strangles herself with those damn pearls!” It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to tell her that her jealousy was making him hard. “Keep giving me attitude, baby. I’m looking forward to fucking it right out of you.”
“I don’t think so, Popeye! You stay the fuck away from me! We’re done!” He was pretty sure his heart stopped for a second. “What do you mean, we’re done?”
“We’re done, over, finished!”
His wolf growled angrily. “Like hell we are. We’ll talk about this when I get back. I’ll be there soon.” She’d already hung up on him.
He was going to spank her ass so damn hard.
That plan was unfortunately foiled by the fact that she wasn’t in their room. Going by how faint her scent was, it was obvious that she hadn’t been in there since earlier. It was easy enough for Dante to guess where she was hiding. He stalked through the tunnels until he came to her old room and turned the knob. The door didn’t budge, and he almost smacked his face on it. Motherfucker. She’d locked him out. “Open up, Jaime.”
“Fuck off.”
He might have snapped at that if he hadn’t heard the tears in her voice. “Ah, baby, let me in. I know how that must have looked to you, but I couldn’t care less about her. Come on, open up.”
“Just go.”
“Not a chance.”
“I’m pretty sure I already told you we’re done.”
Both he and his wolf growled at that. “We’ll never be done, Jaime. Now let me in so we can work this out.”
“Just leave me alone and go back to that bitch!”
“I don’t want her, I want you. Now open the goddamn door.”
“Look at it this way: you won’t have to divide your time anymore. You can go live, eat, sleep, and shit in your office and there’ll be no girlfriend to call you.” He heard the seriousness in her voice and found himself beginning to panic. She wasn’t just saying this in anger or because she was upset. She genuinely wanted to end this.
Fuck that. In the weeks that they had been together, she had gone from being important to him to being essential to him. He no longer just wanted Jaime, he needed her. He hadn’t even realized just how much he needed her until right then. He didn’t even care if needing her made him weak. “I told you a few weeks ago, nothing and no one—not even you, baby—will keep me out of your life. Open up. We need to work this out.”
“Not in a million years, Beta Boy! Now leave me the fuck alone! ” He might have persisted if she hadn’t burst into tears that very second. It sent a sharp pain zigzagging through his chest. He’d made her cry. He’d hurt his female that badly. “Okay. If that’s what you really want, I’ll leave you alone.”
As the sound of Dante’s footsteps faded away, Jaime began to cry even harder into her pillow. At this point, her jaw was aching and her throat was hurting, but she couldn’t stop. Even though she could barely breathe through the tears and her eyes were beginning to sting, she simply couldn’t stop.
A part of her hadn’t wanted him to go, had wanted to let him in her room and in her body, and just let being second best be good enough. For a while it really had been enough, but the more she grew to care about him, the harder it was to be satisfi
ed with just that. She didn’t want him to give up his role as Beta or to neglect his duties. She just wanted him to want her the way she wanted him.
Wanted to come first in his heart. The sad fact was that she didn’t even come close.
What happened the night before had brought home just how far down she was on his list of priorities. No matter how busy he was, it wouldn’t have been too hard to take one minute out of his day to answer her calls. But she’d accepted his apology, had given him the benefit of the doubt. Then she’d spent most of her day excited about tonight, about getting to have some time with him to have fun. All she’d had to look forward to was Dante wearing a vacant expression while she went totally unheard.
But when his ex-half-mate came over, he was all smiles for her. She easily got his attention and then managed to keep it so well that he hadn’t even noticed when Jaime walked away. Laurie had noticed, and she’d seemed extremely smug about it. Any other time Jaime might have answered her wolf’s urge to skin the bitch alive, but Jaime had known the tears were coming and damn if she’d have cried in front of everyone like that.
It was the first time in her life that she’d experienced a “flight” instinct. How ironic was it that the one person who was supposed to make her feel safe and secure was the one person who had made her want to run away?
That thought just about broke her. Not even attempting to fight the tears, she cried herself to sleep.
Jaime squirmed slightly as a big, hard body covered over her back and molded itself around her.
The cocktail of pine needles, cinnamon spice, and sandalwood that filled her nostrils made her smile. She knew that scent, would know it anywhere. Of course she would. This wolf was hers.
She hummed as he pressed a feather-light kiss to her nape. The feel of his hot breath on her skin made a shiver run down her spine, and she jerked slightly.
“Shh, baby. Relax for me.” When she did, he kissed the side of her neck lightly, rewardingly. “Good girl. My good girl.” Gently, he planted more feather-light kisses on as much of her neck as he could reach. Occasionally he nipped the skin or licked at the bite marks there, making her moan.
Feeling his hard cock pressing against her ass—oh yes, please, she’d like some of that—she pushed back against it, suddenly wishing they weren’t wearing any clothes. He groaned into her neck and began rocking against her, which caused her clit to rub against the bed each time. A white-hot surge of pleasure ran down her spine, and her breathing quickened. She’d been wet since almost the second she scented him, and now she was aching for him. When she felt his mouth at her cheek, she turned her face to his.
He flicked his tongue out to tease hers. “Hungry, baby?” She nodded. “Tell me you forgive me.”
Jaime frowned. Forgive him? Forgive him for what?
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her ear before nibbling on the lobe. “I hate that I made you cry.”
Cry? He hadn’t made her cry, why would he—
Jaime’s eyes flipped open, and all at once reality hit her. Ohhhhhh, the bastard. She struggled and twisted under him, growling and cursing. He lowered his body down even more on hers, trapping her there, and used his hands to pin hers to the bed. Had she been lying on her back, she would have been able to bite the fucker. Recalling every combat move she knew, she repeatedly attempted to turn the tables and gain the upper hand. As her trainer, he knew every damn move she was going to try, and he was prepared for every single one.
Eventually she stopped struggling, begrudgingly accepting it was useless. Her wolf was utterly pissed about that. “I locked the door.”
“A locked door isn’t going to keep me away from you,” he said softly as he brushed his lips over to her nape and raked his teeth lightly over the skin. What he wanted to do was bite her hard, mark her again so that she understood who she belonged to, but he knew that throwing his dominance around wasn’t going to help here. Even his wolf understood that. He’d messed up, he’d hurt her, and now he needed to fix it.
“The point is I don’t want to see you.”
“I know.” He gently kissed her neck once more. “And I don’t blame you. But we need to talk.”
“You know what? We really don’t.”
“Do you have any idea how good it feels finishing work every night and coming back to find you right there in our bed? I don’t want to lose that.” It was strange how quickly he’d come to think of his room as their room and his bed as their bed.
“Only because you like having sex on tap.”
Dante bit her ear punishingly. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.” He kissed his way along her neck and over to her bare shoulder, glad she’d worn the strapless dress. He needed access to as much of her skin as he could to keep himself calm. Of course it was also making him harder than he already was. “If I was less selfish, I’d do what you want and let you go. If I was decent, I’d stand back and let you find a guy who’s better for you. But, see, the thing is…I wouldn’t let that guy live. So we need to work this out.”
“What’s the point? We’re barely ever together anyway.”
He couldn’t help feeling a little defensive. “I warned you my job was demanding.”
“It’s more than that. You hardly ever delegate. You’re always doing jobs that you don’t really need to do. You obsess over unfinished stuff. Even when you are with me, you’re constantly checking your e-mails on your BlackBerry or making calls. It’s like you feel compelled to be busy all the time.
I’m worried that you’ll burn out at some point.”
“Are you saying you want me to give up my position?” It was the one thing he’d been waiting for, the one thing he’d dreaded. Her response surprised him.
“No, absolutely not. I’m not giving you an ultimatum here. I’d never do that. I’m just explaining why I can’t be in this relationship—if you could call it that. You can’t have any idea how hard it is to be snuggled up to someone who you know is thinking about being somewhere else. I honestly thought I could handle it, Dante, but I can’t. I can’t handle coming second. If I didn’t care about you as much as I do, maybe I could.”
Hearing that she cared about him made him want to smile even as the tears in her voice made him want to punch himself. He kissed her neck again, unable to get enough of the sun-kissed taste of her skin. “You don’t come second. Don’t ever think that.”
“What else am I supposed to think? I can understand that you have to work a lot, I get that and I accept it. But you never make any time for me and you. When we are together, we don’t do anything together other than train and fuck.” She felt him flinch. “It’s true, Dante. That’s not a relationship. It makes me a booty call, and I deserve better than that.”
A heavy sigh escaped him. “You’re right. You do deserve better. I honestly didn’t realize that I was reducing our relationship to that. The thing is, I’m relatively new at this, and I’m just taking my cues from you. I’m not used to being part of a couple, to having to make time for another person and constantly consider them—”
“Because you hold yourself back.”
“What?”
“You use your job as an excuse to avoid emotional intimacy. At first, I thought you knew, I thought that you’d open up a little now that we’re together. But you truly don’t realize that you do it, do you?”
He went to object to her claim, but he couldn’t. She was right. He did do that, and he had been doing it for a long time without even realizing it. Totally off-center, he buried his face in her hair, inhaling the familiar and comforting vanilla smell of her shampoo.
“I can understand why you do it. In all honestly, I’m not sure that I’d have been able to get into another relationship if someone I’d partly imprinted with had betrayed me and left me— and to be with my sibling. The fact that you’re even trying astonishes me. Especially when you obviously still love her,” she added, swallowing hard.
He lifted his head, frowning. “What? No—”
&
nbsp; “I saw the way you were with her. You couldn’t take your damn eyes off her.” Her wolf growled at the memory.
Loosening his hold on her hands, he began massaging her palms with his thumbs. “I know I probably acted a bit weird, but it was just the shock. The last thing I’d expected was to see her. I felt nothing for her, Jaime. Nothing. My wolf wasn’t interested in her either.” Although her instincts told her he was being truthful, Jaime couldn’t quite believe that. “You gave her more attention than you did me. God, you didn’t even notice me leaving.” He winced. “Like I said, I was caught off guard, and she was telling me all about my nephew and, well, I was interested. Just like I’m interested in knowing Josh’s baby despite not having much of an interest in Josh himself. I don’t believe kids should pay for their parents’ mistakes.” She wondered if he was aware that he was talking about himself. “Yeah, well, your nephew sure looks like you.”
He knew what she was getting at. “He’s not mine.”
“You asked her?”
“No. But I know that Blane wouldn’t have kept him around unless he was sure the kid was his.
Besides, I’d have smelled the pregnancy on her before she left me. There’s no mistaking the smell of a pregnant shifter.”
Okay, he did have a point there. She might have thought of that herself if jealousy hadn’t been taunting her.
“I know I behaved like a dick tonight. It wasn’t fair to you that I let myself be distracted by thoughts of work—”
“—and Bitch Face.”
“And Bitch Face,” he allowed, stifling a smile. He had no idea how Jaime could think he wanted anyone but her. He’d assumed she knew how much he needed her, but then why would she?
He hadn’t told her, hadn’t even hinted at it. Instead, by working so much and so hard, he’d given her the impression that she came second to him.
It occurred to him then that if he didn’t give her those words, he really would lose her. “It’s a good thing that you care about me, baby, because I care about you. A lot. I’m not going anywhere. I can’t give you up, Jaime, and I won’t. Now that I’m aware that I’m holding back from you, I can focus on changing it.”
Wicked Cravings tpp-2 Page 21
