by Sophie Stern
“Look,” Wilson says, looking around. He seems to be evaluating the situation again. I can already see him calculating what it’s going to cost to fix the bakery and how many angry dragon seniors he’s going to have on his doorstep tomorrow when they can’t get their bagel fix. “Let me see if I understand this correctly. Nicole was at work. You came to her place of business. You were not invited here, nor did you come to make a purchase. You tried to attack her. Lee stopped you. Nicole left. Did I miss anything?”
“Yeah, you missed the park where she’s an evil bitch,” Reece says, and I groan. I rub my temples to keep my hands busy. My inner dragon is silently roaring to break free and right now, I want to let him out so I can fucking end Reece. It’s not appropriate, and I’m better than that, but for fuck’s sake, he’s sure not making this easy on me.
“I swear,” I grit out. “If you say another damn word about her, I’m going to punch you in the fucking face.” I’m practically shaking. I need to get myself under control, but since when does Reece have the right to talk about anyone that way? Much less my mate.
She’s not my mate anymore.
I need to stop thinking like that. I need to push the thought out of my head. Dragons are supposed to mate for life, but Nicole turned me down. I must have gotten it wrong on this one. There’s someone out there for me, sure. It’s just not her.
“Are we punching people? I’m next in line,” Cameron says, strutting casually into the bakery, or at least, what’s left of it. He lets out a long, low whistle when he sees the damage.
“Good. She found you,” Wilson nods to his friend and second-in-command. Wilson might be the bronze of the clan, but Cameron is definitely the heart of it. That man can bring anyone over to his side, no matter what their opinion might be when he starts talking to them.
“She did. What happened?” He frowns at Reece. “Why are you on the floor? What did you do?”
“A nightmare happened,” I say. I don’t really feel like reliving the story yet again, but I quickly fill Cameron in on what went down. “Where’s Nicole?”
“She was at my place when I left. Not sure where she is now.”
“You didn’t check on her before you left?” I ask, shocked and a little pissed. What is with these guys? I feel like everyone is dropping the ball today. Just because no one likes her doesn’t mean she needs to be treated like crap. There’s no reason we can’t be gentlemen.
Besides, isn’t that part of being a good leader?
A good man?
Taking care of the people around us?
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cameron says, glaring at me. “But checking on the outcast of the clan wasn’t exactly my top priority. Coming to care for a victim who was tortured at the hands of Lucky is.”
“You got your victims mixed up, I’m afraid,” Wilson says. “Reece attacked Nicole. It was unprovoked. She was just cleaning up the bakery when he decided to go after her.”
Reece can’t sit this one out. He has to interject.
“She worked for-”
“Your arch-enemies. Yeah. We got that part, Reece.” The tiger glares at me, but I ignore him in favor of worrying about my girl. She could be anywhere right now, and she probably feels all alone. She went through something traumatic. Now she deserves to feel protected and cared for: not isolated or ignored.
I need to go find her. I want to make sure she’s okay. I don’t like her, but she doesn’t deserve to be alone right now. She should be protected. Suddenly, the urge to find her and just make sure she’s okay starts to overwhelm me. I have to remind myself to breathe and to focus on the moment at hand. I can react later. I can find her later.
“What are we going to do about him?” Cameron asks, looking at Reece blankly. Cameron is doing a great job concealing his current thoughts. His face is absolutely unreadable, even for me. Even his scent is steady. He’s not putting out anger or stress vibes at all.
“He needs help,” Wilson says. “More help than we can give him, I’m afraid. We’ve got a wonderful clan, but, well, resources for something like this are limited.”
Reece has the decency to look afraid, at least momentarily. He speaks up.
“Are you going to kill me?” He asks. His voice is so low I can barely hear him. “Just tell me if you are. I’ll take it like a man.” Overwhelming sadness begins to emanate from him and the scent fills the air.
“What the fuck? No, man. Shit. No. We’re going to find you a mental health specialist who deals with shifter issues who can help you.” Wilson looks horrified at the idea that he would put down a member of the clan. Reece might be a tiger, but the group has accepted him. He’s part of our world now.
“Oh.”
“That’s right,” Cameron agrees with Wilson’s decision, and I’m suddenly proud of both men for taking the high road. Shifters are a wiley bunch. A lot of clans might not take the time to get someone the help they need. Not like this.
“Do you know someone?” I ask Wilson.
“I have some resources.” He says. Then he turns to Reece. “In the meantime, let’s get you to the health center. Maybe we can give you something to help you relax.”
“You aren’t going to lock me up?” Reece seems shocked and close to tears. I’m guessing the adrenaline rush is slowing down and he’s realizing how close he came to murdering a human in cold blood.
“Do I need to do that?” Wilson narrows his eyes.
“No.” Reece says. “No. You do not. This will not happen again.”
“That’s what I thought, brother.” He reaches down for Reece’s hand and pulls him to his feet. “We’re all here for you.” Wilson says. “We all know you’ve been through hell. We’re going to be here for you while you recover. We’ll be here every step of the way.”
Reece is silent for a minute, but I can smell his tears, and I know he still feels broken in many ways. My heart goes out for him and once more, I’m glad I was able to intervene before something terrible happened. Reece may have to deal with the guilt of how he treated Nicole, but he won’t have to deal with the guilt of killing her. That’s something I don’t think I’d be able to help him through.
“Come on,” Wilson says, leading him out of the debris. “Let’s go.”
He guides Reece out of what’s left of the building, leaving Cameron and me to eye the damage. The bakery is essentially destroyed. It’s going to take a long time to rebuild.
“What now?” I ask him. He’s the second-in-command at the clan. He’s the one everyone turns to when they have questions or need help. Cameron is fantastic when it comes to identifying problems and finding solutions for those issues.
“Now we get to rebuild this place,” he says, walking around, surveying the damage. “But first, you should go check on Nicole.”
“Me?” I ask. “Why me?” A bit presumptuous of him, isn’t it? Nicole and I have a history, sure, but checking on her isn’t really my job. “Isn’t this something the second-in-command should be taking care of? You’re basically the clan leader.”
“Do you want me to check on her?” Cameron raises an eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“You two have some sort of history, don’t you?” He cocks his head and narrows his eyes.
“What makes you say that?”
“I’m not a fucking idiot,” he shrugs. “It’s kind of obvious.” He eyes me up and down, but I try not to react. I just look at him.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That’s fine, but you need to be careful.”
“Careful? Me being ‘careful’ isn’t what saved her life today!”
“Yeah, and you basically destroyed an entire building in the process. Look around, man. Surely there was another way you could have reached Reece.”
“There wasn’t.”
“Are you sure?” He asks me, and I want to be offended, but it’s actually a legitimate and honest question. I stop for a minute to consider my answer. Was there another way I could have handled this? Was
there something else I could have done better? Is there a way I could have diffused the situation without violence?
Then I think of Nicole.
And I think of her fear.
And I think of how she had no chance to defend herself.
“It was my only choice,” I tell Cameron.
“All right,” he says. He places his hand on my shoulder. “I trust you, brother, and I trust your decision. You saved her life,” he says. “And you may have saved Reece’s in the process.”
He doesn’t need to elaborate. I know what he means. Wilson may be showing compassion to Reece now, but if he had hurt Nicole in any way, there would be no mercy. Wilson would have been happy to be the one to execute the rogue shifter.
Any of us would have.
“I need to go find her,” I tell him. Admitting it out loud is difficult for me, but I feel like a weight is lifted from my shoulders when I do.
“Go,” Cameron says. “I’ll sort things out here.”
Thankful I can trust him to handle this side of things, I take off down the street, heading for the place where I know she’s staying. Cameron’s mom has been gracious enough to let Nicole live with her temporarily. No one answers the front door when I reach the house, but Nicole’s room has a separate entrance. I know far more about her than I should. For someone who isn’t interested in her, I sure have made a point to keep notes on her.
I head up the back stairway to her tiny room and knock on the door. Again, there’s no answer. I glance around for a minute before trying the doorknob. I’m not surprised that it opens. Nicole has never really cared about little things like personal security. She trusts people too much. I shake my head when I enter the room, remembering all of the fights we had back when we were a couple about her lack of personal safety and awareness.
One day, she’d left the car unlocked with a bag of non-perishable groceries in it: things like soda, crackers, and granola bars. I’d gotten pissed when I realized the door wasn’t even locked. In a college neighborhood, that was just asking for trouble.
I’ve never forgotten what she said when I brought it up to her.
She didn’t lose her cool
She didn’t get mad.
She just seemed surprised.
“If someone breaks into my car to steal food, Lee, I think they need it more than me.”
“But that’s your food that you paid for,” I told her, frustrated. I knew exactly how hard she worked at the diner. I knew how many hours it took her to afford those groceries. I knew that she often got stiffed on tips and that she never bitched or complained about it.
I didn’t think it was fair.
She had come to me when she realized I was upset, and she’d hugged me. Her arms had wrapped around my neck, and she’d kissed me softly.
“It’s okay,” she told me. “We all need a little help sometimes, Lee.”
“That doesn’t make stealing okay.”
“Someone who steals is really desperate, Lee. You don’t know how long it takes someone to get to that point. If someone is at the point where they’re willing to risk breaking into a car for food, they’re really hungry.”
“Or they’re on drugs,” I scoffed.
“That doesn’t mean they aren’t hungry,” she whispered.
Then she kissed me, and I forgot about being mad. I forgot about everything except holding her in that moment. I had completely forgotten about the fight until now. Standing in her doorway, it all comes rushing back, and I try to fight the emotions rushing through my heart.
She was always so kind.
Even back then, she had a good heart.
I step inside the room, but I can already tell she isn’t here. She was here recently: probably within the last ten minutes, judging by her scent.
“Nicole?” I call her name anyway. Just in case. Just in case someone, I’m completely screwing this up. Maybe she stepped outside and she’ll be back soon. Maybe she went to help Henrietta with something. I’m not sure. She’s not here now, though, and I take the moment to walk around her bedroom and look at what her living situation is like.
I walk further into the room, but I can basically see the entire thing. There’s a small bed, a desk, a chair, and an adjoining bathroom. The door is open. I can see that she isn’t there, but I step inside anyway. It’s pristine. Everything is neatly organized and arranged just so. There’s also almost nothing here: no makeup, no blow drier. There’s no curling iron. There’s a hair brush, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and soap. That’s it.
That’s it?
That’s all she has?
Back in her room, I open the door to her closet. Like the bathroom, it’s essentially empty. There’s a backpack on the floor and a pair of shoes. There are a couple of shirts hanging, as in, there are literally two shirts.
How the fuck does she live like this?
“Where’s all your stuff?” I murmur, looking around. Back when we were dating, she loved hoarding little toys and trinkets. She was so lighthearted. Our home was always a haven. It was perfectly decorated in lovely ways.
This, though?
This isn’t the Nicole I remember.
“What happened to you?” I whisper.
“Life happened,” she says from the doorway, and I look over and see her standing in the doorway. Her eyes are swollen and tears are streaming down her face. She doesn’t seem surprised to see me. I don’t scent any fear or anger coming from her: there’s only sadness and heartbreak.
“Are you okay?” I ask, crossing the room to her. I don’t touch her. I just look at her.
She doesn’t speak.
She just closes her eyes.
“Nicole,” I whisper, more quietly this time. I need to know. I need to hear her say the words. “Are you okay?”
“No,” she whispers. “I’m not okay, Lee.”
“Come in the room.”
She listens and walks past me. She sits down on her bed.
“You’ve been through a lot today.”
“That’s an understatement,” she says. She doesn’t look up. She just stares at her hands.
“What happened?” I whisper. I already sort of know, but I need more. I need her to tell me. I need to hear it. I need confirmation that she’s okay. I just...I need normal Nicole back. Right now she’s sort of a shadow of who she usually is. She’s sad and maybe scared and possibly even overwhelmed.
I just need to hear that she’s okay.
“You left. He came in. There’s not really anything else.”
“You were very brave,” I tell her.
Her gaze shoots up and meets my eyes.
“What are you doing?”
“What?”
“Why are you being nice to me, Lee?”
I suddenly feel defensive.
“I can be nice.”
“You haven’t talked to me in years, Lee. Then today...this morning...” Her tears start up again and my heart clenches. Suddenly, sitting on her bed, Nicole no longer looks like the evil monster I’ve built her up in my mind to be.
Now she looks...small.
Frail.
Breakable.
She looks broken.
“Nicole...” I sit down next to her before I can talk myself out of it, and I wrap my arms around her. I expect her to resist, but she doesn’t. She just wraps her arms sweetly around me and starts to cry. She sobs loudly into my chest, holding onto me, and suddenly, I wonder just how alone and isolated she’s been since she came here.
Living among dragons can’t be easy.
Not for a human.
Not for anyone.
“Why are you here, Lee?” She cries. “Why today? Why did you save me? You should have just let him kill me.”
“What? Nicole,” I pull back and lift her chin so she’s looking at me. “Why would you say that?”
“Come on, Lee. Everyone thinks it. You. The dragons. My ex. Everyone wants me dead. The world would be simpler if I was.”
“Your ex?” I raise
an eyebrow now. This is the first I’ve heard of an ex. And there’s a part of me that suddenly feels a little jealous at this revelation.
“It’s nothing,” she blushes, and looks away, but I don’t buy that for a second.
“Nicole.”
“I told you, Lee. It’s nothing. Now damn you, why are you here?” Suddenly, she jumps up and points to the door. “You should just go, Lee. You should go. I don’t know why you’re here, but it can’t mean anything good.”
“I’m here because we need to talk about everything happened at the bakery.”
“The bakery...” Suddenly, she seems to remember that it’s been destroyed. “Fuck.”
“It’s going to need to be rebuilt.”
“I’ll help, of course. I can’t do it on my own,” she says, and I can almost see her mind start to spin as she begins calculating everything that needs to be done.
“Nicole, you don’t have to do it on your own. I just wanted to find you and make sure that you-”
“Make sure I what? What is it, Lee? You haven’t spoken to me in years and now...”
She shakes her head.
“You might not be my favorite person in the world, Nicole, but damn if you don’t deserve to feel safe in your own home, at your own place of work. You do. You deserve all of that and more.”
I stop, and she stops, because what I just said is dangerously close to something I said years ago to her.
You deserve the sun and the moon. You deserve the stars in the sky. You deserve all of that and more.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have run all of those years ago.
Maybe I should have been patient with her.
Nicole seems so...broken now.
Damaged.
Hurt.
She seems afraid, and before I can convince myself that it’s a terrible idea, I grab her and wrap my arms around her tightly. Instantly, she relaxes against me. She doesn’t cry or shake or shiver. She doesn’t fight me on this. She just lets me hold her and after a minute, her hands come up to touch me, too.
“I’m scared, Lee.”
“I know. It’s okay to be scared. Reece won’t be able to hurt you again, okay? I won’t let him. He’s getting the help he needs. Cameron and Wilson are making sure of it.”
