***
India was upset he wasn’t at her place when she got home. She’d really hoped, expected even, for him to be there, just like he always had been lately. She’d thought he’d want to talk about things as much as she did but then, maybe she’d been right. Maybe she didn’t really know him at all.
Lunch with Michael had been lovely, a chance to escape and talk about things other than Kenny and their wedding because it was all starting to get to India slightly. This was the first real test of living her life in the public eye and she was starting to find it hard and tiring. But it was inevitable, so she dealt with it and did what was required but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be wearing.
So, to just hang out with Michael and escape all of that, even for just an hour, had been extremely welcome. And he’d been wonderful. He’d made her laugh, told her stories from his past and she’d listened and watched him talk with animated enthusiasm. He was an amazing man with so much to say and she could have sat there with him all afternoon. But now she was home she was ready to see Kenny, ready to get back to normal, and he wasn’t there.
She’d run herself a long, hot bath, had a glass of wine and watched some TV but still no Kenny. She’d even thought about calling Michael for another chat to take her mind off things but she didn’t think he’d want to listen to her moaning all evening. She was sure he had far more important things to do, and she didn’t want to call Reece because a lecture of ‘I told you so’s’ wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
As the night wore on she thought about having an early night, hoping that Kenny would see sense and come home, that he’d be there when she woke up, and it was then that the obvious hit her. He probably was home. His own home. Why hadn’t she realised that before? He’d told her where his house was, she knew the address, and maybe that’s where he was right now, licking his wounds and feeling sorry for himself.
She thought about ringing Reece again. He’d always been good at giving her advice, leading her in the right direction; maybe he’d be able to do the same here. But then she remembered Terry was staying with him and if he got wind that she and Kenny had fallen out he’d be over in a shot to lecture her about how it had all been such a bad idea in the first place and that this was probably for the best. She loved the fact that her brother was over in L.A. and they could finally spend some time together – even if she was a bit concerned about what was going on with him back in England – but he’d never really clicked with Kenny. Call it a protective big brother thing but she got the impression Terry just wasn’t all that keen on her husband. He didn’t think he was good for her but he was wrong. She needed Kenny. What she didn’t need were lectures on how to run her life so she forgot about ‘phoning anyone, pulled her boots on, grabbed the keys to her bike, and went to get her husband.
***
Kenny was drunk, really drunk, but he didn’t care. He was having one hell of a wild night and he was loving it! The girls Charley had brought with her were crazy but sexy as hell, in an obvious kind of way, but that’s what Kenny needed tonight. They were dressed like hookers, dancing like strippers and had been all over him like a rash, but he was into every second, all thoughts of India now out of his mind.
He turned his attention to Charley who, now dressed in only the skimpiest of underwear and stilettos, came over to him and grabbed his hand, leading him away from the crowd and out onto the porch.
“I thought you might need some fresh air,” she smiled, playing with the belt on his jeans, keeping her eyes on his all the time. She had him right where she wanted him now and she wasn’t going to let this moment pass without the only outcome she was willing to accept.
Kenny slid one arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him, knowing exactly what she was after and knowing he was far too weak - and drunk - to turn her down.
“I want you, Kenny Ross,” she whispered, her mouth close to his ear, her expensive perfume filling the air. “I’ve always wanted you.”
He wasn’t actually listening to anything she was saying, if he was honest. He was too drunk to concentrate on words; he only cared about actions right now. Charley was a beautiful girl with a killer body and he’d seen her do things in her films that most men could only dream about. She wanted him. Who was he to deny her anything tonight?
Charley smiled, pushing herself against him, and she knew she had him, she totally had him. She closed her eyes as his mouth touched hers and within seconds the kisses were hard and fast, his hands all over her, their breathing heavy and desperate. Nothing was standing in their way now - no India, no Jimmy, nothing at all was going to stop her from being with Kenny, from finally getting her man. Nothing and no-one. And the last thing she was feeling was guilt.
***
India could hear music and voices, getting louder as she made her way down to the address of the beach house Kenny had given her, suddenly realising – as she got closer - that it was all coming from his place. She was confused. What the hell was going on? One minute he’s telling her he doesn’t want anyone to know about this house and the next he’s throwing a party! Why wasn’t he talking to her? Why wasn’t he telling her what was going on with him?
She could see the house now, light flooding from every window, the music getting louder the closer she got. There was a part of her now that was unsure whether she should have come here tonight. This whole day had been so confusing, maybe it would have been best to just leave him alone for the night and see what happened tomorrow. But she knew she could never have done that. She needed to see him, simple as that.
But, as she approached the house, the music almost deafening now, what she saw in front of her made her breath catch in her throat and her heart stop beating, or that’s what it felt like. A pain the like of which she’d never experienced before. She’d needed to see Kenny. What she hadn’t needed was to see him like this.
***
Kenny could feel someone there, he could feel someone behind him and when he swung round, almost dismissing Charley like she’d never been there at all, he sobered up faster than he’d ever thought possible.
“India ... baby ...”
She stood there in front of him, the look on her face heartbreaking, and in an instant he knew every single second of the last few hours had been one terrible mistake. Just one look at his beautiful wife and Kenny knew he loved her more than he could ever explain. He loved her like crazy. What the hell had he just done?
India stared at him, shaking her head, unable to take it all in. Her husband and her best friend. The oldest cliché in the book.
Charley grabbed Kenny’s jacket that was lying over the porch railings, putting it on over what little she was wearing and that one action somehow made everything worse for India.
“No!” India said, holding up a hand as Kenny tried to move towards her. “No, Kenny, I don’t want to hear it.”
“India, please, let me explain …”
She laughed, a loud, cynical laugh, pushing a hand through her hair. “Explain? You want to explain this?”
She looked at Charley, who had a small but self-satisfied smile on her face and all that did was make India feel sorry for her. Is this what she’d sunk to? Stealing other people’s men?
“This means nothing,” Kenny said, an air of desperation in his voice now. His future was standing there, his beautiful English angel and he’d just jeopardised everything, for what? A quick five minute fling with a hard-core porn star?
“Leave her, Kenny,” Charley said, coming up behind him and putting a hand on his shoulder. He shook her off, pushing her away without even looking at her. She was nothing, nothing compared to India and he just wanted her to go away.
But Charley wasn’t having that, she wasn’t something just to be used then thrown away like an old rag.
“Kenny ... come on, let’s go inside.”
He swung round and looked at her, anger in his eyes now. Because of her his short marriage to the girl he’d fallen crazy in love with was close t
o crashing down around him and he wasn’t sure he could deal with that. And whilst he knew it wasn’t totally her fault, he had to take it out on someone.
“What? What do you want me to do, Charley? Declare undying love for you? Tell you it was you I wanted all along? I never wanted you Charley. I was drunk, I was stupid and for that I’m sorry. I should never have let it get this far but it was nothing. You were nothing. I love India ...”
“You love her so much you were willing to fuck me?”
“I’ve just said I was drunk, for Christ’s sake! You were an escape, a cheap escape, and nothing else.”
He turned back around to talk to India but she’d gone, and without even acknowledging Charley again he ran down the porch stairs and onto the beach, running to try and save his dream.
***
Once she was out of sight India let the tears fall, letting them stream down her face until they were almost blinding her. To see him with anyone else would have been bad enough but to see him with Charley was something she couldn’t forget. He’d been stroking her hips, kissing her neck - she couldn’t even think about it without it ripping her heart out.
She ran, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, running until she reached her bike but all she could do when she got there was sink to the floor and cry. She’d never thought Kenny could do this to her, not Kenny. But then, maybe her idealistic vision of him, maybe that‘s all it had ever been – idealistic. She didn’t know him at all, really. How could she if this was what he was capable of? How the hell had the day’s events led to this?
“India ... please, listen to me.”
She looked up at the sound of his voice, quickly drying her eyes and pulling herself up onto her feet.
“There’s nothing to explain, Kenny. I don’t want to hear it. You were drunk, end of story.”
“It was no excuse, baby ...”
“Too fucking right it was no excuse!” She was angry now. How dare he do this to her? All she’d ever done was love him and he’d just thrown it all back in her face. “Is that what you do when something upsets you, Kenny? Is this what I have to put up with every time something doesn’t go your way?”
“No ...” This wasn’t going how he wanted it to go.
“No,” she repeated, her voice calmer now. All the fight was draining out of her. She was too tired. “I can’t live like that, Kenny. I don’t know you, I really don’t.”
“Yes, you do, India. You do.” The desperation was back in his voice now, but the effects of too much alcohol were starting to kick in and his head was spinning. “You know me better than anyone, please, you have to believe that.”
She looked at him again. He looked terrible. He looked tired, drunk, a state. “I’m going home, Kenny.”
“Let me come with you. You shouldn’t be alone.”
“Alone is exactly what I want to be right now.”
But did she? Despite the state he was in, despite of what he’d done a small part of her was finding it so hard to walk away from him.
“You’re in no state to ride that bike home, India.”
“And you are?”
He shook his head, defeat starting to sink in. He was losing the energy to fight, tiredness was taking over. “Stay here. With me.”
She gave that cynical laugh again. “What? Stay here with the hookers and the porn stars? Sure, why not!”
He got the sarcasm. That suggestion hadn’t been a good one.
“I can’t let you go like this.” He wanted to beg her, get down on his knees and make her understand that he loved her so much and that this was killing him. “India, I love you, baby, I love you.”
She wanted to say that if he loved her there’s no way he would ever have gone near Charley, no way he would ever have even thought about it. But she was tired of talking now, it was getting them nowhere. So she just got back on the bike and sped off, leaving Kenny not knowing whether he’d lost her or not.
All he could do was watch her leave and hope he hadn’t just thrown away the only person he’d ever really cared about. The only girl he’d ever loved. The only girl he ever would.
CHAPTER 15
1996
India and Kenny’s divorce hadn’t come as that much of a shock to anyone. Most people had said it wouldn’t last anyway and they’d been right, although it was the last thing India had wanted to hear at the time.
They’d tried to talk it over, tried to make sense of what it was they’d actually had together but India hadn’t been able to get past the fact he’d been willing to betray her with Charley. The two of them may not have been as close friends as they once had been but the fact was she was connected to India, and that’s what had hurt. She couldn’t go there with Kenny again, not after that. She just couldn’t do it, despite the fact that, in her heart, she’d still loved him.
However, what had surprised everyone, especially those close to India, was that she and Kenny had seemed to just resume the friendship they’d had before they’d got married. That was one thing India hadn’t been willing to give up. She’d thought long and hard, she’d listened to the lectures from Reece and Terry, listened to those telling her that what she was doing wasn’t possible, that a friendship couldn’t be resumed but they were all wrong. She needed Kenny, she couldn’t deny that, and she just hadn’t been willing to give him up completely. The trust may have gone, that need to be married to him may have disappeared, but the love for him hadn’t, and once the talking was over and the decisions had been made both she and Kenny had just slipped right back into what they’d had before. No divorce was going to get in the way. That small chapter of their lives was over. It was just time to move on, that was all.
Others had moved on too. Terry was now a permanent fixture in Los Angeles, living in India’s beach house. He’d gone back to the U.K., only briefly, to find that his football career really couldn’t be resurrected in the way he’d wanted it to be so he’d bitten the bullet and left it all behind for good. He’d moved to L.A., landed a job in a Beverly Hills High School as a soccer coach and, once his green card had come through, he’d finally begun to settle into his new life. He hadn’t thought L.A. was anywhere he’d ever end up but it was somewhere that was slowly growing on him. He had a dream job and was close enough to his sister to make sure she was ok. He couldn’t be happier.
But India didn’t need looking after. She was doing just fine on her own. After the success of her movie with Michael - which had gained her various award nominations - she’d gone on to even greater things and been more in demand than ever. She was an actress that could turn her hand to anything from romantic comedy to high drama, and whatever it was she was asked to do she did it in a way that had Hollywood crying out for more.
She’d also become involved in a lot of charity work over the years and spent a lot of time, when she wasn’t filming, travelling the world helping the many causes she represented. She was living life at a thousand miles an hour and throwing herself into everything she did 100% and that’s the way she liked it. She liked to keep busy.
After moving out of the beach house, and handing that over to Terry, she’d moved to a new home in Beverly Hills - a beautiful cream coloured Spanish-style house set in a small but still generous gated estate with the most idyllic gardens, a huge swimming pool and a guest bungalow in the grounds. She also had three more members of staff to add to the make-up artists, hairstylists and P.A. she already had working for her – a chef, a gardener and a driver. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined she’d have staff but it was necessary in her life now. She needed these people but she treated them as friends. That was the way India was and she couldn’t change, and in return they worked hard for her, they were loyal and always there to make sure everything was as perfect as it could be. She couldn’t have asked for a better team of people around her. She was happy. Very happy. Although she missed living by the beach. But it had been the sensible thing to do, to give Terry the beach house. It brought back too ma
ny memories for her. It represented a part of her life she was quite happy to put behind her, a time when she’d been young, a bit naïve maybe. Things were more settled now, and at the age of twenty-eight she was more in control of everything. And that’s the way she wanted it to stay.
She may have been a few years older but she’d grown more beautiful with those few passing years. Her skin was the colour of a true Californian and her hair, although a little shorter now, was always perfect thanks to her wonderful team of hairstylists. She looked like the beautiful Hollywood star she’d become, and it seemed as though she had everything she could possibly want, yet one thing was still missing.
Since everything that had happened with Kenny she’d been extremely reluctant to let herself get close to anyone again. She’d had a few dates here and there but nothing special. She’d kept them all at arms length, preferring to keep people as friends rather than let them get any closer. Trusting someone again was something she was finding pretty hard to do.
But there was one person she’d become a lot closer to over the last few years. One person who’d become very important in her life. Michael Walsh.
When everything had kicked off with Kenny he’d been the one person who hadn’t lectured her, the one person who hadn’t gone down the “I told you so” route and she’d loved him for that. He’d become the person she’d gone to when she’d needed to have a moan about the nagging coming at her from all angles, the person who’d just sit and listen and never judge. That was something nobody else had been willing to do.
He’d taken her out to dinner when she’d needed cheering up, and he’d even helped her find her beautiful new home, which wasn’t that far away from his own. They were practically neighbours, and that suited her just fine. He was a true friend to her. Someone she held very close to her heart, and whether he became more than just a friend was something she’d thought about a lot. There’d been times when she’d sensed things had maybe moved up a level, turned that corner, but she’d always taken a step back at that point, despite something in the back of her mind telling her that Michael might actually be good for her. But she loved him as a friend and she was scared of losing that. Because real friends were something you needed badly in the industry she was in. It had taken almost six years but India had finally found her feet in Hollywood. Now she could truly call Los Angeles home.
No Matter What Page 12
