No Matter What

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No Matter What Page 39

by Michelle Betham


  As the director called for a break she walked off set and he immediately ran over to her, trying to take her hand.

  “India, come on, baby, talk to me.”

  She looked at him, pulling her hand away. “Are you going to continue the way you were going this morning, Michael, because I haven’t got the energy for that, I really haven’t.”

  When they’d gone back to the villa that morning, both of them desperate for sex, taking each other on the stairs in the hallway because they couldn’t be bothered to make it to the bedroom, everything had been fine. Until Michael had started on the one subject India had no time for but he just wouldn’t let go of. And it wasn’t so much the subject matter but the timing that had bothered her.

  “I’m sorry, India. Really, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up again ...”

  “No, you see, I think you did. I think you meant to do it now, you meant to try and wear me down at a time when I can’t really think about it and you just hoped that, because of that, I’d just give in and go with it, well, you’re wrong. It’s not going to happen, Michael.”

  She walked away from him, in the direction of her trailer.

  “India, please, just listen to me. My timing sucked, I was way off.”

  She spun round to look at him. “Yes, you were. I’m so angry with you, Michael. So bloody angry! How many times have I told you that I didn’t want to talk about it, don’t you listen to me?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I listen to you, India, but we’re married, remember? We’re a couple, and it isn’t all one way traffic, honey. You don’t get to have everything your own way.”

  She stood still, staring at him, her voice slow and steady.

  “We’re talking about having a baby, Michael, not whether we should take our holiday in Miami or The Caribbean. We don’t just toss a coin to see whose turn it is to make the decision on this one. What do you expect me to do? No, honestly, what do you really want me to do? Do you want me to back down? Do you want me to give in to you and get pregnant just because you want a baby? Because I don’t, Michael. I don’t want a baby. And you bringing this up now, when you’re leaving tomorrow ... what am I supposed to say?”

  “That you’ll think about it. That’s all I want you to do.”

  “I’ve been thinking about it for years, Michael,” India said quietly, opening the door to her trailer. “Ever since I lost our child I’ve been thinking about it. And the answer is still no.”

  “India ...”

  She closed the door behind her and leaned back against it, hoping he’d get the message and leave her alone. This was the one thing that could come between them, the one thing they couldn’t get past. He wanted a baby, she didn’t. Maybe she wasn’t being fair, he was older than her, almost fifty now, so it was understandable that he didn’t want to hang around too long on this but she just couldn’t do it. She’d gone through so much losing their baby all those years ago and she didn’t want to go through that again. She couldn’t. And she didn’t want to be feeling like this the day before he left for L.A., she didn’t want to be crying over something they shouldn’t be talking about now.

  “India, it’s Kenny. Can I come in?”

  She stepped away from the door and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, swinging it open to let Kenny inside.

  “Are you ok? Only, I’ve just seen Michael and he looks upset.” He looked at her. “And so do you. So, what’s gone on? I knew something was up with you this morning.”

  She sat down, pulling her knees up and hugging them to her chest.

  “The same old argument, Kenny. The same old fucking argument.”

  He sat down next to her and she looked at him. He was looking good was Kenny Ross. Thirty-seven years old now and still one of the most incredibly handsome men she’d ever seen. He was clean shaven and short haired for this movie, and he looked gorgeous.

  “He still wants a baby, huh?” Kenny asked.

  India nodded. “Right after we’d made love though, Kenny ... why did he have to bring it up then? He knew we only had these few days in Vegas, and I’ve been working for most of them, our time together was always going to be limited so what little there was I wanted to enjoy. I especially didn’t want our last day together to be spent arguing. I’m so fucking frustrated with him. I love the bastard so much but he does this to me and I hate it!” She looked away, staring straight ahead. “And don’t say talk to him.”

  “I wasn’t going to. I was just going to let you rant on, actually. I’ve known you long enough to know that’s the best way to handle you.”

  She looked at him again, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

  “Give me a hug, come on,” Kenny smiled and she leaned over, putting her arms round his neck as he pulled her over for a cuddle.

  “You always make me feel better, Kenny.”

  “Well, that’s what I’m here for, baby. Can’t have my leading lady in a bad mood. And we’d better get going otherwise Bobby’ll be on the warpath and he scares me sometimes.”

  India laughed. “Bobby’s a pussycat, you know that.”

  “With you he is. You’ve never had to try getting past him. There are days when I think I’ll have to date him in order to get to see you.”

  She got up, opening the door of the trailer, still laughing. “Bobby would do anything for you, Kenny; he just likes to play with you.”

  “Yeah, and that’s what I’m worried about.”

  ***

  Michael watched as she left the trailer, laughing on the arm of Kenny, and it felt like someone was physically pulling at his heart, it hurt so bad.

  When he’d left her she’d been angry yet five minutes later, after a visit from Kenny, and she was laughing like nothing had happened. He hadn’t come all this way, he hadn’t fought this hard to win her love to let it slip through his fingers and give her straight back to Kenny Ross, but Michael knew if he carried on like this then that’s exactly what might happen.

  All he wanted was for them to be a real family, what was so wrong with that? Every house they owned was just crying out for a child. In his eyes they were empty without one and he couldn’t understand why she was so reluctant. It didn’t have to mean the end of her career; they could work around that once the baby was born. They could make sure neither of them were working at the same time so one of them was always around. Look at who they were? Look at the life they had? Nothing was a problem.

  He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. But he was going to have to leave it for a while. He was going to have to let the subject go if he was to hold onto her, he knew that. Especially now, when he was off to L.A. leaving her here with Kenny. He couldn’t risk it. But it wasn’t the end. It never would be. Michael Walsh may have won his girl but the story wasn’t complete. And until it was he’d never settle. He’d just have to have some patience. One hell of a lot of patience.

  ***

  Reece watched his daughter from the sidelines, something he did with so much pride because she was incredible. It was obvious she’d been born to do this, and she had a definite flair for comedy, her timing was perfect!

  “How’s she doing?” Martha asked, coming up beside him and slipping an arm around his waist.

  “She’s doing great. I just wish I could stay here and watch her complete the whole movie.” He looked at Martha and smiled. “Finished shopping?”

  “I think I’ve done about as much as I can, I’m practically shopped out, and that’s saying something, for me.”

  Reece laughed, both of them turning their attention back to India as she completed a scene that involved her kissing Kenny Ross, and Reece couldn’t help but notice the way Michael almost flinched as he watched it play out.

  “He’s very protective of her, isn’t he?” Martha said, because it hadn’t escaped her notice either.

  “Yeah. Sometimes too protective in my opinion,” Reece replied, a sudden feeling of unease creeping over him.

  Martha stroked his arm. “He jus
t loves her, honey. I mean, look at her. She’s gorgeous! What man wouldn’t feel a little threatened watching his beautiful wife kiss another man? Especially her ex-husband.”

  “Yeah ... yeah, you’re right,” Reece sighed. “I just can’t help worrying about her.”

  “Well, that’s understandable. You’ve still got so much catching up to do, but things are settling down now, aren’t they? I mean, we’ve really settled down, haven’t we?”

  He smiled at her, leaning over to kiss her gently, and the words just fell out of his mouth before he’d even had a chance to think about it. “Marry me, Martha.”

  She let out a little squeal and immediately clapped her hand over her mouth, suddenly remembering she was on a movie set. “Oh my God, Reece! Do you mean that?”

  He meant every single word. He didn’t know what had made him ask her now when he’d planned to do it tonight over dinner, but somehow it had just felt right.

  “Of course I mean it. I love you, Martha. You’ve made my life complete ... you and India; you’ve made it all worth it. You’re everything to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you’ll have me.”

  She kissed him slowly, smiling a huge smile. “Of course I’ll have you! I can’t believe this, I’m finally getting married! I can’t wait to tell India, and we can have a party tonight, can’t we? Our last night here in Vegas, we’ve got to celebrate, Reece.”

  Reece had it all sorted already. He’d always planned to ask her to marry him today, even before they’d set foot in Vegas, it had just happened a bit sooner in the day than he’d originally thought it would, but Vince had already organised a huge party in one of the clubs for tonight so everything was in hand. He’d take Martha to dinner as he’d originally planned, then they’d go down to the party and celebrate with everyone else.

  He was finally putting the wheels in motion for the rest of his life and he couldn’t be happier. He just wished that feeling of uneasiness that had kicked in before would go away. It was making him feel as though he shouldn’t be leaving Vegas just yet, and he didn’t want to. Not really. He didn’t feel ready. He would have loved to have stayed on and spend more time with India, have some more time alone with Martha. But at least back in L.A. he’d be working with Michael, and something told him he’d be needing to keep a close eye on him. He didn’t know why, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it but something was telling him he needed to do that. And he would. As he watched India hugging Martha, jumping up and down with excitement as she told her the news he knew, for the sake of his daughter, that he definitely would.

  CHAPTER 33

  India had been in the villa for a good hour or so now and there was still no sign of Michael. She hadn’t seen him since their argument that morning and now she’d calmed down a bit she was worried about him.

  She stepped out of the bath, wrapped a huge white, fluffy towel around herself and walked out into the bedroom, running a brush through her damp hair. She couldn’t say she’d totally forgiven him for this morning, but ever since she’d heard about Reece and Martha it had made her think about her own wedding day and how happy she’d been – how happy Michael could make her when he wasn’t going on about babies. She loved him so much and she really just wanted it to be him and her and nobody else. That’s how she’d always wanted it. She didn’t want to compete for his affection, she didn’t want to share his love and if that made her selfish then so be it. She wanted to be selfish.

  The door opened and she turned round as Michael walked in. He looked tired, and sad, and she didn’t want him to be sad.

  “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered. “I’m really sorry.”

  “Where’ve you been?” she asked, walking over to him and slipping her arms around his neck, her stomach doing a tiny flip as he pulled her close. “I’ve been worried about you.”

  He smiled, stroking her face gently, just wanting to look at her.

  “I came back here to do a bit of work, then I just went out to get some air, have a bit of a think about what a selfish bastard I can be sometimes. I really didn’t want to do this India; I didn’t want to upset you like that so, no more, ok? No more baby talk. I promise.”

  “I love you, Michael, so much, and you need to know that because sometimes I think you forget. I love you and I want to be with you and I want that to be enough. For both of us. Because if it isn’t, if having me and only me isn’t enough for you then ...”

  “It’s enough, India. It’s more than enough.”

  “Is it? Is it really? Because you need to mean that, Michael, you really need to mean that.”

  He took her hand in his, squeezing it tight, and she could see the tears in his eyes.

  “I mean it,” he whispered. “More than anything, I mean it.”

  “Oh, baby, don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.” She gently wiped his tears away and kissed him slowly, leaning into him as his arms held her tight against him.

  This is what it should be like, this is what it should always be like because this is how she liked her life. She liked to be able to do this; to kiss him whenever she wanted, to make love to him whenever she wanted, to be together, just the two of them. They had so precious little time together as it was and she just didn’t want to share him. She never wanted to share him. Not ever.

  “Are we ok then?” he asked, still holding tightly onto her hand.

  She smiled. “Yeah. We’re ok. Jesus, Michael, I don’t want you to go tomorrow.”

  “If I could stay, baby, I would. You have no idea how much I want to stay here with you ... no idea.”

  “Well then ...” she smiled, walking backwards towards the bed, pulling him along by his hand as she pulled away the towel she was wearing, throwing it onto the floor. “... we’d better make sure we don’t waste any more time.”

  Make-up sex was always good, and this was no exception. She hated arguing with him, she hated the fights, but the sex that inevitably followed always made up for everything that had gone before.

  “I don’t feel like going out tonight now,” she groaned, turning over onto her stomach and raising herself up onto her elbows slightly, her whole body still tingling from what they’d just done.

  “It’s your dad’s engagement party, honey. It’d look pretty strange if we didn’t show our faces.”

  “I know,” she sighed. “But tomorrow you’ve got to leave me and then it’ll probably be weeks before we have sex again and I can’t stand that thought.” She leaned over to kiss his mouth, smiling at him. God, she loved that mouth. “Ok. I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to call you, every day when you’re in L.A., just to tell you what I’m doing.”

  He smiled back, reaching out to gently stroke her shoulder. “And what exactly are you going to be doing?”

  “I’m going to be doing your job.”

  “And what’s my job?”

  “Your job is keeping me happy. So, every day, I’m going to touch myself and pretend it’s you, and I’m going to tell you exactly what I’m doing and how that’s making me feel, how you’re making me happy even though you’re miles away, and listening to your voice is only going to make that feel so much better.”

  Michael ran his fingers lightly over her breasts as he spoke, his mouth almost touching hers. “And, when you’re telling me all of this are you, y’know, gonna be naked?”

  “Sometimes,” she smiled. “Other times, I’ll be as naked as I need to be.”

  Jesus, she was incredible! She was a wet dream come true and he was so ready to go again, but he wanted something else first. “Talking dirty, huh?”

  She leaned closer to him, touching his mouth with her fingertips. “As dirty as you want me to be.”

  “Oh, I want you to be very, very dirty. I want you to tell me everything.”

  He took her hand and moved it where he needed it right now, kissing her hard, knowing that leaving her tomorrow was going to kill him. He’d never lost that obsession with her, he’d never lost that burning need to be with
her constantly, that need to know where she was and what she was doing, to watch everything she did, and to leave all of that was something he just couldn’t deal with. He couldn’t explain it, he couldn’t tell people why she took over everything he did and why leaving her here in Vegas with Kenny Ross was going to mean he’d spend every day feeling like he’d lost his mind, he couldn’t explain that. He just knew it was true. She still was and always would be his obsession and right now he just wanted to be with her, to love her, to spend these last precious few hours inside her before he had to let her go.

  “Show me, baby,” he whispered, losing himself in her wide and beautiful eyes. “Show me exactly what you’re gonna do. Show me so I can see it in my head.”

  She smiled, sitting up as she knelt astride him, leaning back slightly. “You want to watch?”

  “I want to watch. You gonna do that for me?”

  “For you, Michael, I’d do absolutely anything.”

  And those were the only words Michael Walsh needed to hear.

  ***

  “Those two can never make it to a party on time,” Kenny said, as he stood by the bar with Vince.

  Vince was on his third or fourth bourbon of the evening already. He was feeling a little on edge, a little concerned that somebody was going to find out that Charley now worked here in the hotel and nobody could predict how that news would be taken. The rational part of him knew that it really was only a matter of time before somebody did find out though, and then everything would have to be explained, including the news of their relationship. He wasn’t ashamed of her, he didn’t feel guilty but he was nervous about people’s reactions, especially India’s, and the irrational part of his mind wondered if he could manage to keep her out of sight for the duration of filming. It wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility, surely?

 

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