CHAPTER 56
“I can’t believe you, India Walsh! Why didn’t you tell me?” Charley screeched down the end of the ‘phone. “JJ Foster ... you lucky cow!”
“We just didn’t want anything to get in the way, Charley, not in the first few weeks. Not until I was sure.”
“And? Is he really as gorgeous as he looks on TV? Oh God, I still can’t believe you’re together!”
“He’s lovely, Charley. He’s just … he’s amazing.”
“Have you ...?”
“Frequently. Don’t ask stupid questions.”
India sat cross legged on the bed, Ethan asleep beside her. She and JJ had arrived back in L.A. just a couple of hours ago and her son had got himself so excited at seeing his mum again that he’d worn himself out, so India was letting him have a nap in her bed. A bed she wished she and JJ were in right now, because she missed him already.
“Any good?” Charley giggled.
India laughed, pushing a hand through her hair. “Kinda, yeah.”
“Oh God, I am so jealous, India!”
“How can you say that when you’ve got Vince?”
“Vince isn’t thirty-three with a body to die for and eyes you could drown in.”
“Get out of here, Mrs Maine, Vince is gorgeous! And he’s spoiling you something rotten now you’re pregnant; he’s treating you like a princess.”
“I know, but … JJ Foster?”
“You didn’t even know who he was two months ago.”
“Yeah, well, I know who he is now, don’t I?”
“Oh, hang on, Charley, I can hear dad talking to someone. Kenny must be here. I’ll call you later.”
She hung up, pulled the covers over her sleeping little boy, kissed him gently, and ran down to the living room. Kenny turned round as she came in and she practically threw herself into his arms.
“Hey, nice to have you home, babe!”
She kissed his cheek. “Thanks for helping mum and dad with Ethan while I was away. I really appreciate that. He loves being with you and I know you don’t have to ...”
“India, I love looking after him, ok? I love that little guy.”
She looked around for Reece. “Where’s dad gone?”
“He’s just nipped out to get something for lunch. Listen, India ...”
She knew what he was going to say and she sat down on the sofa, pulling her knees up to her chest. “You’ve heard then?”
He nodded, standing up in front of the fireplace, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I’m sorry, Kenny. I’m sorry for not telling anyone before but, look, it was just something we both decided on, ok? It was for the best. We wanted to keep it quiet for the first few weeks.”
“I already knew before yesterday, India.”
She looked at him, her eyes widening. “How? Did Ethan ...?”
“Give the kid his due; he didn’t let the cat out of the bag until yesterday afternoon. I already had a feeling before that, he just confirmed it. The way you were acting, your whole demeanour over these past few weeks made it obvious to me.”
She looked out of the window. “I need him, Kenny.”
“And you don’t need me anymore, is that it?” It wasn’t really a question, but she looked back at him.
“Don’t say that, Kenny. Of course I need you, I’ll always need you.”
“Why him, India? Why JJ Foster?”
“Oh come on, Kenny, you know I can’t answer that.”
“Do you love him?”
“Don’t be stupid. No! Of course not. I’ve only known him a couple of months.”
“Just sex then?”
She got up, walking over to the window, turning round to look at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? I thought you wanted me to be happy?”
“I do, you know I do ... so, are you sleeping with him?”
She stared at him. “What do you think?”
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, he just looked at her. He missed her so much, so fucking much. How could he be so close to her and still miss her?
“I need it, Kenny, I need him.”
“Couldn’t you get that from me, India? If you’re only with him for sex then why couldn’t you get that from me?”
“I’m not just with him for sex, Kenny; I didn’t mean that, I ... he’s different. He isn’t part of this crazy, complicated world of mine, he’s someone new, someone who ... someone who’s making me feel like I can move forward. Do you understand?”
Kenny turned away, sitting down on the arm of the sofa. “Not really, no.”
She sighed, leaning back against the wall. “I didn’t look for this, Kenny. I didn’t even mean for it to happen, we were just friends but, things changed. Something happened and things changed.”
Kenny stood up again, looking at her. “I’d give my life up for you, do you know that?”
What could she say to that? What could she possibly say? She knew how Kenny felt but was she supposed to pretend to feel the same way just to keep him happy?
She walked over to him, standing up on tip-toes to kiss him quickly.
“I love you so much, Kenny. You know I do.”
“But not like that, huh?”
She looked at him for a second. “I want to make a go of it with Joe, I really do, and it would mean a lot to me if you tried to support me, Kenny. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and I need that from you.”
He suddenly noticed her wrist and the two small JJ’s on the inside of it. He took her hand and looked closer. “Is that a tattoo?”
She nodded, pulling her hand away.
“And you say you’re not in love with him?”
“I’m not.”
“But you got his name tattooed on your wrist? His name, India, you got his name tattooed on your fucking wrist!”
“I’m well aware of that, Kenny. Jesus, and to think I was actually worried about Michael’s reaction to this, you were never a concern.”
“That’s becoming evident.”
“Oh for Christ’s’ sake, Kenny, I didn’t mean it like that. Grow up!”
“Me grow up? I’m not the one who’s getting names of people I’ve only known for five minutes tattooed on my body.”
She was getting fed up now, fed up of his attitude. He had no right to stand there and dictate anything to her. No right at all.
“Do you know what, Kenny; if you’re going to be like this you might as well leave.”
“Be like what?”
She looked at him. “Accept that I’m with JJ because it’s happening. So you need to deal with that.”
He pushed a hand through his hair and sat down on the arm of the sofa again. “Ok. Ok, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
She started to walk out of the room, into the kitchen, and he got up straightaway, following her.
“India, I said I’m sorry.”
“I know, I heard.”
She started rattling about in cupboards, looking for nothing in particular, she just wanted a distraction.
“Why are you worried about Michael’s reaction anyway?” Kenny asked, sitting down on one of the stools by the breakfast bar.
She didn’t look at him, just carried on with what she was doing. “I’m not.”
“You said you were.”
She finally looked at him, really beginning to tire of this line of conversation now. “I didn’t mean worried as such, Kenny.”
“You don’t mean a lot of things today, do you?”
She gave him a look and turned away, filling up the kettle.
“Are you ever going to speak to him again?”
“Who?”
“You know who.”
She flicked the switch down on the kettle and turned round, leaning back against the counter, folding her arms.
“I’m not getting into this, Kenny. It’s been like twenty bloody questions ever since you walked through the door and I’m tired. But no, I’m not going to speak to him again
, not if I can help it.”
“Not even for Ethan?”
She gave a cynical laugh, looking down at the ground. “Don’t even go there. What happened between his dad and me is something he’ll never need to know about. And that goes for everyone else too.”
“So, that’s it? You’re gonna spend the rest of your life never speaking to him, never seeing him, and you think that’ll work? You think Ethan’s going to accept that when he’s older, do you?”
She looked at him, narrowing her eyes. “This really has got nothing to do with you, Kenny, so leave it.”
“What did he do, India? What did he do to you?”
“I said leave it, Kenny.” She turned away from him, getting cups out of the cupboard, just wanting to be left alone now. What was with him, coming in here and interrogating her? She was tired, and she wanted to be on her own. Well, maybe not entirely on her own. She wanted JJ.
“What did he do to you, India? Come on, just tell me, what did he do?”
She slammed the cupboard door shut and swung round to look at him. “Just go, Kenny. Please. Just go.”
He stayed exactly where he was, not taking his eyes off her. He was breaking her down, bit by bit, he could feel it.
“Tell me, India. What did he do to you?”
She felt tears start to stream down her face and she just wanted to curl up in a ball and go to sleep. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to have to re-live this again.
“What did he do, baby? Come on, what did he do?”
“He raped me, ok? Are you happy now? He raped me!”
Kenny felt like he’d been slapped in the face. “Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, India. No.” He got up and went over to her, trying to pull her into his arms but she pushed him away. “India, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry ... how the hell ...”
“You tell nobody, Kenny. Ok? Nobody. For the sake of that little boy up there you tell nobody. He needs his daddy. He needs him.”
“I’ll fucking kill him, I will, I’ll kill him!”
“No! You’ll go nowhere near him, do you hear me? And do you see why I kept it to myself now? That’s why I never told you; because I knew you’d do this, and keep your voice down, you’ll wake Ethan.”
Kenny paced the floor, pushing a hand through his hair. “You can’t just let him get away with it, India. Come on! You said he raped you, that isn’t right. That’s not right.”
“No, Kenny. It was three and a half years ago. It was something I tried hard to forget and I’m finally starting to get there, and for the sake of my baby … that’s why I did nothing. Ethan is the most important thing in all of this, not me. I don’t matter. Michael and I, we pushed ourselves to the limit that night and I’m not making excuses for him, far from it, but it’s over, ok? It happened, but it’s over. And if I can deal with it then so can you.”
Kenny leaned back against the breakfast bar, throwing his head back and looking at the ceiling for a few seconds. “You should have told me, India. I would have been there for you.”
“I know.” She wiped her eyes, trying hard not to let the tears start falling again. She really didn’t want to have to relive this. She was getting over it; she didn’t want to go back.
Kenny was still trying to take it in. What the hell had happened to make him do that to her? “When did it happen?”
She folded her arms defensively against her chest. “The morning after Vince and Charley’s wedding blessing. I told you I found the pictures of me and you he’d had taken, I told you all of that about him having us followed and the DNA test and ... well, everything just got out of hand when I confronted him.”
He kept looking at her as she stared at the ground. “What happened, India?”
She said nothing for a few seconds.
“India? Please, come on. Tell me what happened.”
“He just didn’t want to let me go, Kenny. He didn’t want to let me go.”
“So he raped you?”
She pushed a hand through her hair and looked up at him. “It was a horrible situation; things were pushed too far ...”
“That’s no excuse, India.”
“I know.” Her voice was slightly raised, and she could feel herself getting stressed out, something she hadn’t wanted to happen. She took a deep breath and leaned back against the counter, folding her arms again. “I know.”
“Did he hurt you?”
She felt the tears start to slide down her face and she frantically wiped them away, nodding, her voice quiet. “In every way, Kenny. I loved him so much, you know? And he did that to me. I said no, I said I didn’t want it and he still did that to me ...”
She started crying uncontrollably, all the memories of that day coming back in waves and Kenny ran over to her, pulling her close and holding her tight, rocking her in his arms as she clung onto him.
“I would have been there for you, India. If you’d told me I would have been there.”
She held onto him as he kissed the top of her head, the tears slowly subsiding, and she was grateful for the familiar, safe warmth that Kenny was giving her.
“I know that, Kenny. But you’d also have done something you’d have later regretted, I know you. The situation was handled the best way it could have been.” She looked up at him, wiping her eyes again. “And don’t you dare tell Reece. He really doesn’t need to know anything about this. I need him to still communicate with Michael, for Ethan’s sake, and if he finds out what Michael did I don’t know what’ll happen. Please, Kenny. Ethan needs his daddy. Let’s not take that away from him.”
Kenny kissed her forehead, holding her tight again. He didn’t know what he was feeling but anger was certainly up there. He’d never trusted Michael, he’d always known he wasn’t good enough for India and he’d been proved right. In the worst possible way. And now she was getting involved with a younger man that she really knew nothing about and that worried him too. Why couldn’t she just see that he was the one who could keep her safe? He was the one who could look after her. He could make her happy.
“I’ll say nothing. I promise,” he said, the sound of the ‘phone ringing disturbing the moment and he had no choice but to let her go as she ran over to answer it.
“Joe!” Her face immediately lit up and she pulled herself up onto the breakfast bar, cradling the ‘phone between her chin and her shoulder, swinging her legs like a little kid. “Yeah, I miss you too, baby ...”
Kenny felt his stomach hit rock bottom. His head was totally messed up with all of this now. Part of him wished he’d never found out about India and Michael but he had asked, he’d pushed her to tell him, and above everything else he wished she wasn’t embarking on this new relationship with JJ Foster. It was so painful for Kenny to be around. So painful he couldn’t explain. And what the hell did he do with the information he had now? She’d told him to stay clear of Michael. She’d told him to leave well alone. But he wasn’t altogether sure he could do that. He just wasn’t sure at all.
CHAPTER 57
“How much luggage can you possibly need for a few days in Vegas?” Bobby asked, throwing another case down onto the floor of the Penthouse Suite in Vince’s new hotel, The Amethyst Casino and Golf Resort.
India looked at him. “There’re two cases there, Bobby.”
He stood up, putting a hand in the small of his back. “Only because Vince is getting the other four sent up with people who are used to carrying heavy loads.”
“My best friend is about to have her first baby and, as I am only too well aware, baby’s don’t work to a timetable. Charley’s due date may be this weekend but that means nothing. I could be here for days. I need my stuff.”
Vince and Charley were on red alert waiting for the birth of their daughter and India had made sure that she was going to be in Vegas for her arrival, just as Charley and Vince had been there when Ethan had been born.
“Days?” Bobby said, fanning himself with a magazine. “You’ve got enough stuff here to stock Rodeo Drive.”
“Says the man who’s brought over a dozen pairs of shoes with him.”
“I’ve got plans for Vegas, angel, and I couldn’t possibly predict what I’d be wearing for each event back in L.A. now, could I?”
India smiled. “No. Of course you couldn’t.” She walked over to the huge picture window and looked out at the view spread out in front of her. This place held a lot of memories for her. This was where she and Michael had come to get over Terry’s death and the loss of their first child. It had put them back together after all of that had almost torn them apart. But it was also the place where he’d spied on her and Kenny, the place where actions he’d undertaken had finally seen to it that she couldn’t face him again, and that hurt. Because she’d loved him. Part of her always would, she knew that now. She knew in her own heart that he was the only man she’d ever wanted to be with but she could never go back there. Not ever.
Bobby’s voice shook her back to reality. “So, when’s the gorgeous JJ joining us then?” he asked, setting up the laptop on the desk in front of the window.
India looked at her watch. “Any time now, hopefully,” she smiled, absentmindedly running her fingers over her tattoo. “I haven’t seen him for days; I can’t wait for him to get here.”
Bobby sighed, sitting down at the desk and resting his chin in his hand. “Isn’t the flush of new love so romantic?”
India walked over to one of the huge mirrors hanging on the wall of the large open-plan living area and looked at her reflection. “Christ! I look so tired.”
“Yeah, you do look a bit rough around the eyes princess. I just didn’t like to say.”
She looked at Bobby, sticking her tongue out at him. “I can easily find another P.A. you know.”
“Not one that puts up with you like I do.”
She went over to him, putting her arms around his neck from behind. “You don’t just put up with me, do you?”
“Don’t get all Hollywood Diva needy on me, missy. You know I love you and no, I don’t just put up with you. You know that.”
No Matter What Page 69
