No Matter What

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No Matter What Page 76

by Michelle Betham


  “You look stunning,” he smiled, tears starting to fall down his face, and India instinctively reached out and gently wiped them away, smiling back at this beautiful man who was about to become hers. Totally hers.

  “Are you ready for this then?” he whispered, slipping his hand into hers and she wrapped her fingers around his, holding onto him so tight, any remaining nerves she’d had before now disappearing fast as she looked at him.

  “I’m ready.”

  He smiled again, giving her hand a tiny squeeze. “Ok then, beautiful. Let’s do this.”

  CHAPTER 62

  “How long do you think this one’ll last then?” Kenny asked, sitting down opposite Charley and taking a swig of beer.

  The evening party was now in full swing and many people had ventured out into the marquees set up outside in the grounds where music filled the air and fairy lights dotted around in the trees gave splashes of colour in the dark night sky. Kenny just wasn’t in the mood for partying.

  Charley looked at him, Lily now snuggled up on her lap, eyes closed, the day’s events having finally caught up with her. “How many of those have you had?”

  “You saying I’m drunk?”

  “I’m saying, I don’t think you’re handling this as well as you could be.”

  He took another drink. “I’m happy for her.”

  “Then you might want to try telling her that. You know, Kenny, you’ll push her away if you don’t show her you still want to be her friend. Because you do still want to be her friend, don’t you?”

  What he really wanted was to wake up with her every morning and make love to her every night but he couldn’t do that. No matter how much he wanted to.

  “Of course I still want to be her friend.”

  “Then start showing it because she thinks she’s losing you. Did you know that? Were you aware of that, Kenny? She thinks she’s losing you and she doesn’t want that to happen. But she’s scared that it will.”

  Kenny sat back, pushing a hand through his hair.

  “Look, I know this is hard for you,” Charley went on, cuddling Lily closer to her. “But you really need to talk to India. Tell her you’re still there for her because she’s frightened to turn to you right now. These past couple of years, you’ve almost distanced yourself from her and that’s been difficult for her to deal with.”

  “She’s got JJ now.”

  “Oh, grow up, Kenny, will you. You’re sounding like some spoilt kid. Yes, she’s got JJ but you’ve been in her life for eighteen years. Eighteen years, Kenny, and that’s huge. So talk to her. Or, alternatively, just throw all those years away, it’s entirely up to you.”

  He sat forward, finishing the rest of his beer, looking around the room. “She’s not here though, is she?”

  “She’s only gone to get changed.”

  Kenny was still looking around the room. “He’s not here either.”

  “Then they’re both probably fucking each other senseless as we speak, it’s their wedding day, deal with it.” She stood up, kissing Lily’s forehead. “I’m going to put this one to bed, she’s shattered. When India gets back down here you talk to her. Ok? And I’m not saying have some long and meaningful heart-to-heart, you don’t need to do that. You just need to tell her you’re there, that’s all. Just tell her you’re still there.”

  ***

  “You know, you looked incredible in that dress today,” JJ said, kicking the bedroom door shut behind him and walking over to India. “But you’ll look even more incredible out of it.”

  She couldn’t help smiling at him. “I thought I’d told you not to follow me?”

  “Did you?” he asked, moving in closer.

  “Yeah, I did. Not listening to me already and only married a couple of hours. That’s not good.”

  He just kept smiling, his hand resting gently on her hip.

  “And why did I tell you not to follow me, Mr Foster?”

  She could smell his after shave now, his breath warm on her cheek and those butterflies were back, flying all around her stomach.

  “I don’t know. Why did you tell me not to follow you?”

  He ran his fingers gently along her collar bone, his mouth now almost touching hers.

  “I told you not to follow me because I knew this would happen,” she whispered, looking into those amazing dark eyes of his. “And we’re supposed to be downstairs.”

  “They won’t miss us for half an hour. It’s our wedding day, and I can’t keep my hands off you any longer.”

  “No willpower, that’s your problem.”

  “Nice problem to have.”

  She smiled, pushing his jacket back off his shoulders, loosening his tie. “Yeah. I suppose it is.”

  He kissed her very, very lightly. “Turn around,” he whispered, and she did, feeling him gently kiss the back of her neck, closing her eyes as his fingers ran slowly up and down her arms, sending hundreds of tiny shivers right through her. He was whispering in her ear, telling her what he was going to do to her, giving her no choice but to give in to him. No choice at all.

  He slowly unzipped her dress, his fingers running ever so gently down her back as he did so and she gasped out loud as they reached the small of her back, turning her round to face him as the dress fell to the floor, his mouth closing in on hers in a harder, longer kiss and she just fell against him.

  “Are you going to do this to me for the rest of my life?” she whispered, sliding her hands underneath his shirt, touching his warm, soft skin.

  “Given half a chance, yeah,” he smiled.

  She slipped his shirt back off his shoulders, unfastening his belt. “Ok then, handsome. Let’s start this marriage the way we mean to go on.”

  “Fucking?”

  “Yeah. The hell out of each other. Til death us do part.”

  ***

  “What’s the matter?” Martha asked Reece as he sat quietly with a sleeping Ellie cradled on his lap. Ethan was busy cutting moves on the dance floor with Bobby, which looked incredibly funny.

  “Nothing,” Reece smiled as Martha sat down beside him. “Really. I’m fine.”

  “Been a long day, hasn’t it?” She smiled too, gently stroking Ellie’s little hand as it clung onto her toy rabbit.

  “Yes. It certainly has,” Reece sighed.

  “We pulled it off though.”

  Reece smiled again, leaning over to kiss his wife. “I think we managed that, yes.”

  “It’s what they wanted, sweetheart. They’ll make it public knowledge when they’re ready and, quite frankly, I don’t blame them one bit for not announcing it just yet. It gives them more time to be alone.”

  “Why didn’t she want Michael to know though, Martha? I just … I don’t understand why.”

  Martha shrugged. “She must have her reasons, Reece. We’ll never really understand what went on between those two but if she doesn’t want him to be a part of her life anymore then we just have to respect that.”

  Reece sighed again. “Maybe.” He wasn’t totally convinced. He looked at Martha. “Do you think she’s happy?”

  “What kind of question’s that to ask on your daughter’s wedding day? Of course she’s happy. You only have to look at her with JJ; she’s head over heels in love with that man.”

  “That’s not the same as being happy, Martha. Look at Kenny. He’s been in love with my daughter for eighteen years and has he ever really been happy? I just want her to be sure.”

  “You were with her most of this evening, honey. Was there anything that made you think something wasn’t right?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “Then stop worrying. They’re in love, they’ve got this perfect little family now and I’ve never seen her happier. And JJ, well, he worships her.”

  Reece knew that. He knew JJ worshipped her, he knew he loved her beyond anything else, but then, hadn’t every man in India’s life felt the same way? And every man in her life had hurt her in some way or another, whether they’d mean
t to or not. He just wanted to be sure that JJ was different. But he couldn’t ever really be sure, could he? He just had to hope that the name Foster wouldn’t bring his daughter any fresh pain. He just had to hope things would be different this time. He just had to hope.

  ***

  India and JJ had changed out of their wedding gear, with JJ now in a far more casual outfit of t-shirt, jeans and heavy army boots whilst India had changed into tight, skinny jeans, high stiletto ankle boots and a strapless black and white top.

  They were grabbing a few quick extra minutes alone at the bottom of the stairs, kissing like a couple of teenagers instead of a just married mum and dad, before they went back to join the party. She had her back against the wall, JJ standing very close in front of her - very close - one hand resting against the wall by her head, the other one in his pocket.

  “You know when you did that incredibly sexy, mind-blowingly dirty pole dance for me in Vegas a couple of weeks ago? The pole dance that’s etched in my mind like a living, pornographic fantasy?”

  “Yeah?” she smiled, remembering it all too well.

  It’d happened during a weekend in Las Vegas visiting Charley and Vince, without the kids. She and JJ had got a bit drunk after a particularly long night out and, on the way back to the hotel, they’d ventured into a lap dancing club where JJ had paid a vast sum of money to hire out one of the private rooms for him and India where she’d proceeded to give him a private pole dance and a fuck he’d never forget. She’d taken to that pole like a duck to water and every second in that room had been worth every dollar he’d paid.

  Of course it had made the papers. They’d kind of known it would from the second they’d walked into the place but at the time they hadn’t cared. However, despite the almost sordid way in which it had been reported, they’d found it hysterically funny because it had been the biggest turn on of their lives, no doubt, and you couldn’t regret sex like that. No way. But they weren’t going to make a habit of it. Not on a regular basis, anyway.

  “How about we get a pole fitted right here, at home? We’ve got space down in the basement; we could turn it into our very own private lap dancing bar.”

  She couldn’t help laughing, although the idea wasn’t a bad one. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” she smiled, pushing herself against him, running her fingers through his short, dark hair, spiking it up a bit more.

  He smiled too, snaking his hand up her top, the touch of his fingers on her skin giving her goosebumps. “Yeah, I’m serious. We get our own pole, then you can give me private dances any time we feel like it. Jesus, the way your legs wrapped around that cold, hard steel, then wrapped around me ... let’s go back upstairs, honey, you’ve got me going crazy here.”

  She shook her head, kissing him slowly, her tongue running over the roof of his mouth, behind his teeth, and she knew she should stop because she could feel him rock hard against her thigh and she probably wasn’t being totally fair on him.

  “I’m dying here, baby,” JJ groaned.

  “Do you need me to sort you out then?” she smiled, running her hand over him, feeling him and wanting him but they really had to show their faces at this party at some point tonight.

  “Come on, India, don’t do this to me!”

  “Tell you what, handsome. Why don’t you nip off upstairs, close your eyes and think of me, naked and wet, wrapped around you, pulling you in, deep inside me ... think of me, baby, think of me taking you in my mouth ...”

  “Now I know why I married you ...” JJ said, kissing her quickly before running off upstairs.

  She stayed where she was, throwing her head back and laughing out loud. She loved messing with his head like that. He just made her feel so alive.

  “Would it have killed you to keep that confined to behind the bedroom door?”

  India looked up as Ray walked over to her. Ray Foster; an older, not-quite-as- handsome but still undeniably good looking version of JJ. With his dark blonde hair and green eyes and a smile that could make women go weak at the knees, especially combined with that Home Counties accent of his, it was quite evident the Foster genes were a great set to have.

  “I wasn’t aware I’d forced you to watch,” India said, straightening her top.

  Ray came closer, keeping his eyes on her all the time and she couldn’t help but look at him. She didn’t have much choice in the matter really.

  “I like to watch,” he said, his eyes still locked onto hers. “At least, I like to watch you, but you already know that, don’t you?”

  “What do you want, Ray?”

  “Have you told him?”

  She stared at her brother-in-law. “What exactly do you want me to tell him, Ray?”

  He reached out and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “That he wasn’t the first Foster brother to have spent a night in India.”

  “Leave it, Ray,” she said, pushing his hand away and walking away from him, but he followed her into the kitchen, away from the crowds still enjoying the wedding party.

  “He’s crazy about you, you know that, don’t you?”

  India turned around and leaned back against the counter top, folding her arms.

  “We’ve just got married, so yeah, I’m well aware of how he feels. I’m crazy about him too, more than you’ll ever understand. And if you love him, Ray, you’ll know that he doesn’t need to know about you and me. He doesn’t need to know any of it.” She turned to get a glass out of the cupboard. “There’s nothing to know anyway. It was one time. One night.”

  “It may have been one night, India, but you know as well as I do that it wasn’t just one time. Was it?”

  She turned back around, watching as he came closer but she stayed exactly where she was. She didn’t move.

  “It was one amazing night of doing things to each other that were so hard core, things I’d only ever fantasised about before, and I’ve closed my eyes and done just what my brother’s gone up there to do so many times since that night. So many times I’ve closed my eyes and remembered what you did to me, what I did to you ... has he done those things to you, India? Has he touched you like I did? Has he gone to those places?”

  She looked into his eyes, staring right into them. “You were a rebound fuck, Ray. That’s all it ever was. I was hurting after splitting from Michael, I was in the U.K. on my own, I was lonely and Kenny wasn’t around. I needed somebody, and you were there. But it was almost five years ago, and if you think it’s that important why don’t you tell JJ?”

  He backed away slightly, smiling at her. “I haven’t married him.”

  “Why now, Ray? Why bring this up now? After all this time?”

  Ray never took his eyes off her as he backed away from her a little more, shrugging. “I don’t know. I guess I never forgot that night, never forgot the things we did, never forgot what happened afterwards ... we didn’t talk about that, India, and we should have done. Maybe things could have been different.”

  She turned away from him, filling a glass with water. “What we did Ray ... what happened afterwards ...”

  She trailed off, taking a drink of water and putting the empty glass in the sink, turning back to look at him. She’d tried hard not to think about the night he was talking about, the night when a chance meeting had ended up in a night of experiences neither of them had ever gone through before, the repercussions of which still affected India to this day. Because she’d never forget it. Not really. Some things you never forget, and ever since she’d fallen in love with his brother she’d always known this conversation would happen sometime. She should have told JJ the whole truth from the start but she’d thought it didn’t matter. She’d thought Ray had done exactly what she’d done and put it to the back of his mind, where it really should have stayed.

  “Please don’t tell him, Ray,” she almost pleaded, looking up at him. He came across as the epitome of the English gentleman, so why couldn’t he be like that now? “Joe has no idea we’d even met each other before he int
roduced us and he doesn’t need to know. What would it gain? Me and JJ, we’re married now, we’ve got Ellie ... our little girl, your niece, Ray. Think about her. Think about Ellie.”

  He kept his eyes on India’s for a few long seconds and she couldn’t look away. He’d dug up all those memories, all those images. He’d put them right back there in the forefront of her mind and she really wished he hadn’t. Just seeing him again had been painful enough without all of this.

  “I won’t say anything to him, India. Of course I won’t.”

  She felt an instant wave of relief wash over her. “Thank you. Now, I’m going to find your brother. This conversation’s over.”

  She started to walk away from him but he gently grabbed her arm, swinging her round to look at him again.

  “Just tell me one thing, India. What we did together, all those things ... have you and JJ ever ...?”

  She shook her head, her voice quiet. “No.”

  And, for some reason, forgetting everything else that had gone on between them, all the consequences of that one night together, that was all Ray had really wanted to know.

  ***

  Kenny was surprisingly tired. He hated getting tired, it just wasn’t him, but he was going nowhere until he’d seen India because Charley was right. He needed to see her, he needed to talk to her, to tell her he was sorry for behaving the way he had done these past couple of years. He’d deliberately distanced himself from her and that was only because he’d behaved like some spoiled kid who couldn’t have the one thing he wanted from the toy shop.

  He’d thought that by keeping his distance he’d forget about her but he should have known that was a pointless exercise. He just had to grow up and face facts - she didn’t love him like that. He’d had his chance and he’d blown it and now he had to move on. He had to deal with that and get back to being her friend before she lost patience and left him to his sulking.

 

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