by Leen Elle
Lilli nodded, swinging her feet out of the truck. She felt comforted when she saw the small yellow cottage in front of her. There was a cozy porch attached to the front with two rocking chairs. Annie skipped up the three steps leading to the door, gave a quick knock then entered, Lilli following her. The house smelled like baby powder and vanilla, Lilli smiled at the warm arrangement of furniture and colorful walls, it was an adorable home.
"Sarah! We're here, where are you?" Annie called.
"Oh no! Not yet!" Lilli heard Sarah cry from a room down the hall. "I'm not ready. Gracie has been crying since you left and I haven't been able to get in the shower, I'm an absolute mess!"
Lilli smiled, "Annie, why don't you get Gracie from Sarah, we'll watch her out here while she gets ready."
Annie nodded, entering the bedroom for a moment, then coming out with the baby. Lilli had taken off her trench and watched with a smile as Annie cam toward her with the screaming child.
"This, is Gracie, I promise, she isn't usually this noisy."
"Can I try?" Lilli asked, already feeling better than she had in months. Even when she was crying, Grace was adorable, small and perfect. Coming here had certainly been the right choice.
Annie nodded, handing over the baby. Lilli took her and was struck again by how wonderful it felt to hold her in her arms. It had been a long time since Lilli had been afforded the opportunity to hold someone so small, she had forgotten how much she loved babies. Bouncing her easily, Lilli began to talk quietly, asking how she was and introducing herself. In only a few minutes, Grace was quiet, hiccups the only reminder of her previous fit. Lilli settled onto the couch and continued her conversation with the infant.
"Wow, you're wonderful with her!"
"If you talk quietly, most babies will try to listen. The only way they can hear you is if they settle down. Most of the time they start crying for attention, but then, get so caught up in it they can't stop." Lilli turned her attention back to Grace, inspecting her deep, brown eyes, a trait that seemed to run in the family. "Would you like to show me around your house baby girl?"
Lilli began to walk around the one story house, she went to the kitchen, smiling at the clean, blue and white design. There was a small kitchen table and a high chair pushed into the corner. Next, they wandered down the narrow hall and found the bathroom, nursery and the small guest room, which Lilli guessed would be hers. After their walk, Gracie fell asleep and Lilli deposited her into the pram in the living room.
"Should I get your bags? You could unpack while we wait for Sarah, that way you'll be settled before tonight."
"I'll help you."
"That's ok, you should stay with Gracie, just in case she wakes up."
Lilli nodded, feeling more and more comfortable in her new surroundings. She pushed the pram into her bedroom and parked it next to the bed. Annie came quickly with her bags and they talked easily as Lilli placed her things in the dresser and closet of her small room. The room itself was pale yellow with white furniture. There were fresh daisies on her dresser and night stand, which matched the comforter that cloaked her bed.
They were left alone for about an hour, and when Lilli had everything placed around the room, she made coffee, anticipating Sarah coming out to visit. Annie was very entertaining, at some moments, Lilli thought she would die of lack of breath, she chattered on and on without stopping. Lilli didn't mind hearing about Annie's high school, it saved her from the awkward silence that usually occurred when she met someone for the first time.
"Hello?" a voice called from down the hallway.
"We're in the den." Annie called, smiling.
Sarah entered, her hair was blonde and pulled into a neat pony tail. Her dark honey flecked eyes matched Annie's and her smile was warm. She had rounded curves that looked to be a result of her recent pregnancy. Her outfit was simple, perfectly complementing her shape. Lilli had liked her on the telephone, but seeing her only intensified the sentiment.
"Hello Lillian, it's so nice to meet you. I'm sorry you had to wait for me, you must think me ridiculous."
"No, not at all! I am always nervous meeting new people, it helps if I feel like I look my best."
"Exactly," she smiled, "I am so glad you're here, thank you for coming."
"You're welcome, truthfully, I think being here will be of more help to me than I will be to you, and please, call me Lilli."
"You look more like a Lilli than a Lillian." Sarah smiled. "Where is Gracie? I heard her quiet down almost as soon as she came out here with you two."
"She fell asleep after she gave me the tour, she's in the pram in my bedroom."
"You found your room ok?"
"Yes, Annie showed me, I've unpacked my things, I hope that's alright."
"Thanks for showing her Annie, and thanks for picking her up. Do you have something else you needed to do today? I don't want Momma to be angry with me for keeping you all day."
"I have homework to finish." she sighed, rolling her eyes. "It was great to meet you Lilli, I'll see you again, probably tomorrow." Annie laughed, pulling on her jacket and was out the door swiftly.
"I made some coffee, I hope that's alright. I thought we could have a cup and talk over what you expect of me."
"That sounds wonderful, and it's perfectly fine that you made coffee, I want you to feel at home here. Can I pour you a cup?"
"Yes, please." Lilli smiled, moving to the kitchen.
Sarah took two large blue mugs from the cabinet and filled them. Then she got the milk and sugar from the cabinet before settling beside Lilli at the table. Both were silent as they fixed their coffee. Sarah took a sip, "This is the most delicious coffee I've ever had."
Lilli blushed, "Thanks, I add a bit of cinnamon to the grounds."
The girls sipped their coffee and talked about how life would be in the small cottage while Lilli was there. Sarah explained her greatest needs and concerns but was welcoming with everything she said. Lilli was growing to like Sarah more and more as their conversation continued, and she had already fallen in love with Grace. Sarah didn't seem to need much, just help with Grace when she needed to go to the store, or shower, or have an hour to read a chapter in a novel.
Lilli knew how draining having a newborn could be, she remembered Colleen O'Connor when she had given birth to Bridget. And, while she had Pat for help some times, she still called on Lilli more than usual to help with the simple things around the house, and for a little free time. It was true that infants were demanding, and that would be even more the case with Rob Hawkins gone indefinitely. That was another thing Lilli understood, the horrible range of emotions that went along with worrying about a loved one who was in the midst of a war.
When Sarah had explained everything to Lilli, she began to ask questions, which Lilli was more than happy to answer. If they were going to be living together, they would have to be friends, at least, Lilli hoped they would be friends. They talked pleasantly until Grace cried from the bedroom, and Lilli had her first opportunity to watch Sarah in action. It was obvious that she treasured her young daughter, and Lilli knew that she would love every minute she would get to spend with both of these girls.
Chapter 17
November 21, 1944
"Dad, I'm going to the other trees, I want to check that limb in the macintosh."
"Be careful, your knee still isn't perfect. When you've finished there, go straight home, we'll finish early today."
"Ok."
"Don't you fall out of that tree Samuel, your mother will kill me if she finds out I let you go alone."
"Yes, she will, don't worry I won't fall. Thanks for not babying me Dad." Sam laughed. He headed toward the easte end of the orchard and found the tree he was searching for. Carefully, he lifted himself up into the limbs of the sturdy tree. The reds and yellows of the leaves surrounded him as he inched toward the problem branch. He began to hum happily as he made his observation. When he was finished he stayed for a while in the tree, letting it cradle him. He c
ontinued to hum as he sat above the ground, something about the height comforted him.
While he was in his perch, he saw someone walking beneath him. The auburn hair told him it was Katie. She was pushing the pram, making Sam more excited to jump from the tree. He hadn't seen his niece for more than a few minutes since the new nanny had started. Hanging onto a sturdy branch, he swung from the tree and landed carefully on the grass, favoring his good leg.
"Katie," he called, limping toward her, "Katie, wait!"
The woman turned, "I'm sorry, I'm not..."
Sam's heart was in his throat, there, standing right in front of him, was the woman he dreamed about every night. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans, a white blouse and her black trench, unbuttoned. A blush flooded her face as she stared at Sam, unbelief on her face. After a moment, she shook her head and began to speak.
"How did you find me here? I asked you to stay away from me."
"This is my home, my family's orchard. What are you doing here?" Sam asked, taking a step toward her unconsciously.
"I'm Sarah Hawkins new nanny, I thought her family owned the orchard."
"Sarah is my sister, she was married less than a year ago. I told you that in one of my letters. And, I thought the nanny's name was Lillian."
"My name is Lillian, but everyone calls me Lilli." Grace began to cry and Lilli turned to her, lifting her out of the pram. "Did you plan this Sam?" she asked, not turning to look at him. "I didn't answer your letter so you thought you would lure me here? I am telling you right now, it won't work, I'll be on the first train tomorrow." She started to move, attempting to push the pram with Grace in her arms, who was still squealing, but the grass was proving difficult, making it easy for Sam to cut her off.
"Lilli, please!"
"What, do you want to tell me more lies?" she spat, angrily, looking at him for the first time.
"No," he said helplessly, "I promise, I didn't know anything about you coming to nanny for Sarah. Katie said her friend Viv recommended her friend Lillian to come and watch Gracie.
"Viv? Viv my best friend! I should have known when she brought this whole thing up to me it was a big scam. She's been on your side for weeks now, telling me I should just get over it. I can't believe her!"
"Please, don't go. Sarah has been a mess since she found out Rob was leaving, she's been so relaxed since you've been here, please don't go."
Lilli sighed, "I don't see how I can stay..."
"You've been here for almost two weeks and this is the first time you've seen me. I'll keep my distance, I promise. Please stay, for Sarah and Grace, they need you." Sam watched her intently as she weighed the decision. "You can't look at that precious little girl and want to leave her." He said, changing his tactic a bit.
She let out a small laugh, "You're right about that."
"Please," he begged.
"Alright, I'll stay, but you have to promise to keep your distance. If I feel you are coming too close, I'll leave, immediately. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, thank you!" He took a step closer and Lilli stepped back. "Can I take Gracie?"
"You said you would stay away!" she said, unbelief on her face as he walked toward her.
"I know, I wasn't suggesting that we should walk back together. I just haven't seen Gracie in a long time, and I'd like to take her for a walk if that's alright. Dad and I finished early today, so I have a little extra time." he said, taking several steps towards Lilli.
"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I shouldn't have assumed..."
"What, that I wanted to spend time with you?"
"Well, yes..."
He took another step toward her, a sly smile on his lips, sincerity in his gaze. "I still love you Lilli, but I've hurt you once and I won't do it again. If you want me to stay away, I will, but I can't stay away from Sarah or Gracie."
"I understand," Lilli answered, handing Grace to him. "I suppose we'll have to come up with some way to keep our paths from crossing. Perhaps if you phone the cottage before you come to visit..."
"Of course, and when I hear that you and Sarah are coming for supper at the big house, I'll make other plans."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," Sam watched as she started to walk away and he instinctively grabbed her hand, "Lilli."
"Don't Sam, not a word," Lilli said cautiously, understanding his gaze in an instant. "Don't keep her out too long, it's cold and it's getting dark." Sam stepped closer to Lilli, and she stayed put this time, letting him take Grace from her arms. She smiled at the baby as he lifted her, and the glimpse of it made his heart thunder within him. He looked at her for a moment after Grace was securely in his arms and memorized the gentle curve of her face.
"I'll be sure to have her in shortly. I believe Sarah's at my house, I'll send Gracie home with her." Sam smiled one last time at her then turned, nestling Grace to his chest. He was happy to have her in his arms, she always had been the only one who could take his mind off of Lilli, but he didn't know if that was going to be true anymore. With her so close, she stayed on his mind the entire walk back to the house. He didn't know how he was going to manage to keep his distance. Sam went home with Gracie in his arms, smiling up at him. For a moment, he took note of all that had changed in her. Her hair was a little longer he thought and her face seemed a bit thinner. How can so much change in just a couple of weeks? Your daddy sure is gonna cry when he gets home and sees you. Sam thought. He continued to marvel at Grace as he walked toward the house, but then, his thought turned to something entirely different.
Lilli's friend Viv? Katie didn't have a friend named Viv, Lilli did! That little sneak! She set this whole thing up and left me to look like a plotting psychopath! Reaching the front porch, he lunged for the door. Carefully balancing Grace in one arm, he pulled it open, causing a squeal to escape from it's hinges.
He was in the house for no longer than a minute when Sarah began speaking in a high pitched hurried tone. "Why do you have Gracie? Is everything alright? Where's Lilli, is she hurt? Why do you have Gracie? Samuel David Carter answer me this instant!"
Despite knowing this was not the time or place, Sam couldn't help but laugh. Sarah's face became red with anger and he calmed himself quickly. "She's fine Sarah, they're both fine. I saw Lilli walking with her in the orchard and asked if I could steal my niece. It's been a long time since I've seen her for more than a minute or two."
"Why didn't Lilli come here with you?" Sarah asked, calming quickly, completely unaware. So Katie worked alone...
"She didn't want to, she took the pram back to the cottage."
Kate was sitting in the large, overstuffed chair in the corner of the room, her eyes wide. "You saw Lilli?"
"Yes I did, could I please have a word with you on the porch?"
"Why can't you talk to me right here?"
"Because I don't want to yell in front of the baby." he said, handing Grace to Sarah.
"Sam, what could you possibly have to yell at Katie about? I swear it's like the two of you are still twelve years old!" Momma called from the kitchen.
"Believe me Momma, I have a perfectly good reason to be upset with Katie." Sam said, taking Kate by the arm, dragging her back outside. He pointed to one of the rocking chairs and watched as she sat obediently. "You arranged for her to come here? And you didn't tell me about it?"
Kate bit her lip and nodded, "Viv and I thought it would help."
"How? When she saw me, she threatened to be on the first train back home! She thought I plotted to bring her here. Now Sarah relies on her and loves her and she could leave whenever she thinks I'm getting too close!"
"I'm sorry Sam."
He sank into the other rocker, "Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be keeping my distance while she's right under my nose?" he said, softly. "If she comes for dinner, I can't be here, if I want to go see Sarah and Grace, I'll have to call first to make sure she won't be there."
"But won't all that be worth it if she realiz
es she loves you?"
"Yes, of course! But, what if I'm too hasty and drive her away? After this, I might not get another chance, I could lose her forever!"
"I'm sorry Sam, I didn't mean to intrude, but you were sending letters that didn't do a bit of good! In fact, Viv read the first letter you sent because Lilli refused, which is where she found our phone number. She called asking for me because she thought I might have some idea that would help. What were you going to do, keep sending letters, never even checking to see if she was reading them? Sam, at the rate you were going, she was going to fall in love with someone else and forget all about you!
"I know you are trying to be careful, and I know you've created a difficult situation with your pretending to be Joe. But, Viv called because Lilli was hurting. There isn't a doubt in her mind that Lilli still loves you, will always love you. She also knows her friend very well, and that she can be stubborn when she's been hurt. We were honestly just trying to help."
"This isn't a game Katie," Sam sighed, "this is my life, my future."
"I know it is Sam, but you are the best man I know, besides Daddy of course. How could she ever see that if you lived an hour away?"
"Well I don't know how she'll see it when she lives three minutes away if she doesn't want to see me."
Katie smiled slyly, "Believe me Sam, it's impossible for her not to see you, even if she doesn't want to. I just know that you'll be able to sneak back into her good graces."
"Well, I'm not going to say thank you yet, we'll see after a couple months." he said, putting an arm around her neck pulling her close. He threw his knuckles into her hair, messing it up quite nicely, much to her dismay. "You deserved that and you know it." Kate nodded, shuffling back through the screen door leading to the house. Sam followed her in, anxious to spend more time with Grace and the rest of his family. Kate had been right, and he was glad that Lilli was closer, but this was going to be anything but easy.
