* * *
Ransom took Catherine to the back door of his house at her request. But he did not enter with her. “I swore to leave you the moment I knew you were safe,” he told her as he gazed down on her confused face. “Besides,” he grinned devilishly, “if I come in with you, I will take you straight upstairs.” Her face brightened in a deep pink blush. “You do know what that means and, despite the pleasure I will find there, I would rather set this all to rights.”
He raised his hand to caress her cheek. “Take care, my love,” he sighed gently. “I will be back as soon as I can.” Ready to depart, he decided he didn’t care how she felt about it, he needed to kiss her before leaving. He slipped his arm about her waist, hauled her against him, and assaulted her mouth with the near violence of his kiss.
“No matter what transpires, I will not let you go,” he stated before he turned away to seek his mount.
Catherine watched him ride off, her hand pressed to her lips. They were slightly swollen from the afternoon and his final kiss. “Good bye, my love,” she whispered as he disappeared down the trail. It was quite a while before she turned toward the house. She knew she would never see him again. Even if he secured the papers divesting himself of Sabrina, she could not stay—and the fault was hers.
She had played the surrogate wife by choice. The people who were a major part of Ransom’s life would neither know she was not his wife when she had pretended to be, nor were they wed when she conceived his child. No matter what happened in his search for an answer, they would all know the truth of what she was. Resolved to her future, she entered the house.
“Where’s Ransom,” Holden asked the moment she walked in.
Catherine propped her fisted hands on her hips. “You do not seem too surprised to see me!” she snapped.
“Of course not,” he shrugged, “He said he was going to bring you back, and he did. I would have been surprised if you were not with him.”
Catherine pushed past him.
“Catherine, wait.” He grabbed her arm. “Where is he?”
She frowned sadly. “He . . . left some time ago to . . . see if he can get this cleared up.” She lowered her head. “I don’t know where he went.”
“Damn!” Holden whirled to slap the wall with his hand.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” She was frantic, she had never seen Holden act this way before.
“He didn’t have to leave, Catherine.” He raked back his hair and shook his head. His eyes showed a strange disappointment. “Sabrina has decided to quit this marriage with no argument.”
“What do you mean quit?”
“He means I have decided to be bought off,” Sabrina said as she came down the stairs. She walked up to Holden and raised her hand to his cheek. “Be a good lad and leave us,” she said with a smile. Holden frowned, clearly distrusting Sabrina. “Don’t worry, Holden. I have no intention of saying anything to Catherine to upset her.” She gave him a slight shove. “Go take care of that chore I asked you to do.”
Wondering what Sabrina was up to, Catherine insisted he comply. “I’ll be back in about an hour,” he stated to them both. Facing Sabrina, he added, “Don’t make me regret leaving here now.”
The minute he was out of sight, Sabrina asked Catherine to join her in the parlor. Catherine followed, curious. They took chairs opposite each other.
“I really am leaving, Catherine,” Sabrina broke the silence. “Holden has just gone to make arrangements with a fisherman he knows to take me down river. From there I plan to sail back to England.”
Catherine frowned. “I don’t understand. You come here and wreck everything, then just walk away. Why, Sabrina? Do you hate me that much?”
Sabrina dropped back in her chair with a sigh. “It has nothing to do with you. I came here in search of what I thought I wanted, but it turns out I did not want it, after all.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Catherine asked none-too-gently.
“It means, my innocent cousin, that I thought I wanted the respectability I threw away years ago, but after meeting Holden, I knew nothing would change.” She looked straight at Catherine. “I like men. Respectability would bore me to death, even with a man like your Ransom.”
“He is not m-mine, Sabrina.” Catherine had a catch in her throat. “Even if you walk away, you will still be wed to him.”
Sabrina laughed lightly. “Don’t be silly. You can tell everyone I was the fake. They will believe you.”
“But I will know the truth. No matter what the town thinks, I will only be his mistress.”
“Well, do what you think is best, Catherine,” she said, rising to look down at her cousin. “As for me, I am quitting this godforsaken country just as quickly as I can.” She turned to leave the room, but Catherine stopped her.
“Take me with you to England.”
“What?” Sabrina turned to stare at Catherine as if she had gone quite mad. “You have won, Cathy. Why would you leave?”
Catherine lowered her head to stare at her clenched hands. “You might not understand,” she said softly.
“Try me,” Sabrina said as she moved back to her chair. “I may be a bitch, but I assure you, I am woman enough to love gossip.”
Catherine caught her smile and appreciated her attempt at humor. “I guess the easiest way to put this is to tell you that Ransom never said he loved me… until he knew I was not married to him.”
“Just like a man,” Sabrina laughed harshly. “Thoughtful as a stone.” Clearly Catherine was very serious. “Look, I found out about his trip to England from John. What can I say? I lied to you to get you to leave. But, for what it is worth, I think he really does love you.” Doubtful, Catherine encouraged Sabrina to go on. “I all but spread myself before him and he refused most blatantly. Then when I tried some verbal threats, he offered me anything to get me to leave.” Smiling sadly, she finished with, “A man does not do that without loving.”
Rising to pace, Catherine shook her head. “You do not know him. Once he has laid claim to something, he keeps it, at all cost. And he has claimed me.” She stared out the window into the shimmering light. “He did not care that I would be branded his mistress. He only cared that I was here for him. Does that sound like love to you?”
“You’re asking me about love? That is choice. I don’t know how to love, Catherine, but in your case, I would take what I could get.”
“I cannot,” she said in a harsh whisper.
Sabrina sighed. “All right, Catherine. If you want to leave, you can come with me . . . on one condition.” Catherine cast her a doubtful glance. “I have to come out of this with something.”
“What do you want from me this time, Sabrina?”
Gaining her feet, Sabrina stood at her side. “When we get to England, tell my father I have been here with you all this time.” Catherine couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I may not care about respectability, but I do not wish to be shunned either.”
Catherine nodded. “What is one more lie to add to my sins? I have already damned myself. Why not?”
“Then it is done,” Sabrina stated, taking Catherine’s hand. “We will sail for England . . . together.”
* * *
Catherine paced the small room she and Sabrina had taken at the inn. She was alone. Sabrina had gone out to seek a ship to carry them to England. Although she would have been no help, she hated being left behind. It gave her too much time to think.
At first, she kept her mind busy with a plan to slip away from Devil’s Head. Fortunately, Alice and the rest of the staff steered clear of Sabrina. Since they thought Sabrina was still about, they had made themselves scarce. It gave her a chance to sneak her satchel out of the house.
She and Sabrina had concocted a tale in which Sabrina told Holden that Catherine preferred to stay in her room rather than see her again. In reality, Catherine was making her way along the river in search of a spot where the boat could pull close enough to shore to allow her to board. When Sa
brina saw her waving a white handkerchief, she directed the fisherman to her.
Of course, Catherine wasn’t sure at the time that her devious cousin would keep up her end of the bargain. She could sail on by. Fortunately, Catherine worried needlessly. On cue, Sabrina had pointed her out. Now, all that mattered was she was making good her escape.
The trip was made in silence as none of the occupants wished to be detected on the river. There were plenty of troops about from both sides that could have rendered their efforts all in vain. Not until they docked in New York did they let out a collective sigh.
Their next stop was an inn, the nearest they could find to the main port. Fortunately, Sabrina had secured some funds from Holden before leaving. In her haste to leave, Catherine had never thought about money. Nor had she thought of her fare for passage, but Sabrina assured her she had enough.
Sabrina’s assurance had come over an hour ago, and still Catherine sat alone. How long did it take to find a ship leaving this town? Could the war have ceased all travel? She didn’t want to think. Ready to close her eyes and force herself to rest, she heard someone at the door. Much to her relief, Sabrina came bustling in.
“We are in luck!” she beamed, tossing her reticule on the table. “There is a ship sailing the day after tomorrow.”
Despite their good fortune, Catherine sensed a false gaiety in Sabrina’s voice. “What is wrong, Sabrina?” she asked, coming to her feet.
“Wrong?” Sabrina parroted the question. “Nothing is wrong. In fact, we will be traveling with an old friend of mine. He is . . . going to Holland and . . . he will set us down in Ireland. We will have no trouble getting home from there.”
Catherine watched Sabrina remove her bonnet and wrap. She acted strangely, yet seemed not to want to talk about it. “This person, did he hurt you?” Taking a seat, Sabrina’s shoulders slumped. “No, not really. He just wants me to… pay for our fare beginning tonight.”
Understanding completely how she was to pay, Catherine dropped to her knees beside her cousin. “I thought you had money.”
Sabrina laughed harshly. “I do, but Stuart does not want money. He wants me.” Catherine’s sympathy must have shown and Sabrina smiled sadly. “Funny, isn’t it? I have slept my way across an ocean to get here, but I thought I could get back the traditional way.”
“We can find another ship,” Catherine offered. She hated to see Sabrina sell herself, no matter her history. It was one thing to enter a relationship because she wished it, but another to be treated like a whore. Catherine felt she understood that now. “We can wait until—”
“No, we cannot. We do not have that much money, but thank you for caring.” The look on her face softened. “But you have always cared, haven’t you, Cathy?”
Catherine smiled. “I love you, Sabrina. You are kin and have always been good to me.”
“Not always,” Sabrina sighed, “or you would not be here now.”
“I do not blame you for what has happened between Ransom and me,” Catherine said sincerely.
“I know,” Sabrina smiled ruefully. “I do not understand why, but I am truly glad.” Her smile widened. “I guess that is why I want to help you now. I owe you, cousin.”
* * *
Catherine sighed when she saw her cousin enter the common room on the arm of a handsome man who could only be the captain. She knew she should be grateful for their passage, but she couldn’t help but recall the method of payment he extracted.
“Catherine, this is Captain Taylor. He has a few things to see to, then we can board.”
Her forced smile broke Catherine’s heart.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Thorpe,” he grinned crookedly.
Between his cavalier attitude and Sabrina’s distress, Catherine refused to speak to him, giving him a curt nod as her only reply. He frowned, clearly not pleased with her silent rebuke. Sabrina reached for her arm.
“Let us have a cup of tea while we wait.” Captain Taylor bowed to both women and left. “We do not have much time,” Sabrina stated, all attempts at pretense gone. “He will be back soon.”
“Sabrina, what is going on? This all seems so . . . unusual.”
“It is simple, really,” she said after ordering tea. “We will each have our own cabin and you must promise to stay in yours.”
“The entire trip?” Catherine gasped.
“I’m afraid so, cousin.” Sabrina shrugged. “Unless you are prepared to take on the captain.” Catherine’s shocked face was apparently answer enough. “No, I did not think so.” She smiled sadly. “He wants you out of his sight. It is the only way he feels he can accept this arrangement. You will be safe in your cabin, especially behind a locked door.”
“Surely you do not think he would—”
“Any chance he got,” Sabrina replied. “The captain may be a handsome devil, but he is a bastard. He likes women, lots of women, and he does not mind having them at the same time.” She glared at her cousin. “Do you understand?” Catherine’s jaw had dropped open. “Yes, you understand.”
“And what about you?” Catherine asked shyly. “Will you be all right with him?”
“Lord, yes! Don’t forget, I have sailed with him before.” Sabrina smiled wickedly. “He is really quite entertaining.”
Catherine suffered with guilt. She felt responsible for this shame Sabrina took upon herself on her behalf. “Perhaps I should stay here,” she stated, thinking Sabrina might stay, too.
“Still trying to take care of me, Catherine?” Sabrina said with a gentle look in her eyes. “Even after all I have done to disgrace you and myself?”
“There is sure to be another ship in a few days.” Catherine argued rather than comment on her question. “If not, I could find some position to save enough for when one does depart.”
Sabrina shook her head. “Not me, cousin. I am going home any way I have to get there.” Laughing lightly, she nodded toward the handsome captain. “And he is better than sitting here for God knows how long.”
Conceding she would rather travel with Sabrina than without her, Catherine rose. “I will go with you, Sabrina. I want to leave as badly as you.”
Catherine strolled forward, taking Sabrina’s arm. “We are ready, Captain,” she beamed, leaving him to guess at their secrets.
* * *
The cabin was small but clean. Catherine knew she would appreciate it the many weeks she would spend in it. Once settled, Sabrina left her for her own cabin. She returned half an hour after they set sail to tell her she would join her each evening for dinner, but that was all the time they would have together.
Appreciating even that much, Catherine smiled warmly at her. “Thank you, Sabrina, for everything.”
“It will be all right, Cathy,” Sabrina returned her smile and used her name affectionately. At the door, she turned back. “Can you use a pistol?”
“Yes, I . . . I think I can,” Catherine replied, a little bewildered by the question.
“Just in case Stuart tries to renege on the deal, I will bring you one with dinner.” She quirked a brow and grinned. “You just cannot trust men to keep their word.”
“No, sometimes you cannot.”
When the door closed, Catherine felt like a chapter of her life closed, too. In just a few months, she had gone from being a poor relation depending on the generosity of her uncle, to a wife, both shunned and wanted, and finally a mistress. Still ahead lay the role of unwed mother.
At the moment, she thought she understood her cousin and what she did. Right or wrong, Sabrina controlled her own life. There was no family or husband or lover who would possess her any longer than she wished. Therefore, she avoided the heartache and loneliness filling Catherine's soul.
Sighing, Catherine unpacked her bag. In the bottom were several books from Ransom’s library. She felt they were the least she could walk away with from Devil’s Head. Them, and the child she carried.
Tears found their way to her eyes and fell freely. She went to t
he portal and gazed out over the waters and the fading town. She had learned much on those shores, but she paid dearly for the knowledge.
“Good-bye, Ransom,” she said, closing her eyes to the finality of her own words.
Chapter Twenty One
* * *
If not for the books she had taken from Devil’s Head, Catherine felt she might have gone quite mad on the voyage. The myriad of characters in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales kept her company, while the varied works of Shakespeare and Boccaccio entertained her.
On the rare occasions when Sabrina joined her, she seemed morose and withdrawn. No doubt it was because of her ill-use by the captain. Catherine even offered to speak with him on her behalf, but Sabrina refused to allow it.
“This cannot have been for nothing,” Sabrina snapped once. She barely ate any of her meal. “It is the first time I ever did anything for anyone else in my life, and I will not let you ruin it.”
Although Catherine knew Sabrina had a sense of guilt about what had happened to her, she was perplexed by Sabrina’s words. She reached out to still Sabrina’s fidgeting hand. “What are you talking about?” When Sabrina refused to reply, Catherine went on. “I know you have interceded on my behalf with Captain Taylor because you feel responsible for my plight. But there is more, isn’t there?”
“Please, Catherine, let it be,” Sabrina moaned softly. “I am not proud of what I am doing, but I made the choice. I do not think I could handle any sympathy now.”
“All right, Sabrina, but if you need me, I am here for you.”
Sabrina smiled sadly. “You have always been there when I needed you, Cathy. Even when you did not like it.” Catherine’s lip quivered as she thought about Ransom. “You really love him, don’t you?”
“Yes, I love him.”
“Then why are you putting all this distance between the two of you?”
Catherine sighed heavily. “I cannot quite explain it, but it is like when you speak of choices. I have none where he is concerned. I never did.” Seeing Sabrina had no idea what she was talking about, Catherine smiled sadly. “He never wanted a wife and when he was forced to take one, he was not very pleasant about it.”
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