by Lilly Wilde
I’ve decided to take you at your word regarding my getting back to work. Something has come up in the Chicago office that I need to handle and I’ll be heading to the airport within the hour.
Although you’ve been gone for only a short while, I already feel the absence. I’ll be in touch before you have the chance to miss me.
-A.
“Well, it looks like we’re making pizza for lunch,” I said, looking at the girls.
“Thank you for bringing this over Dianna,” I said.
“You’re welcome. Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked.
“No. I think we’ve got it. I’ll walk you out,” I replied.
“Mr. Raine is very concerned and wanted to make sure I was available should you need anything. This is my contact information,” she said, passing me a card. “Call anytime. Day or night.”
“Thank you for everything Dianna. I hope we weren’t too much trouble.”
“You’re welcome. It was a pleasure. Your sisters are lovely girls and you; well you put a joy in Mr. Raine that I’ve never seen in all the time I’ve known him.”
“And how long is that?” I asked.
“Since he was a child. I’ve worked for his family for years. I’ve been in Boston for a little over a year to care for my sister; her health was failing.”
“I’m sorry. I hope she’ll be okay.”
“She’s doing much better and it looks like I’ll be going back to Chicago soon. Well, I’d better be going,” she said.
“Thanks again, Dianna,” I said, as I showed her out.
I walked into the kitchen to see my sisters removing the items from the bags and realized that I never really asked if they wanted pizza. “Are you guys in the mood for pizza?” I asked.
“Sure,” Lia replied.
“From the looks of it, we’re making the chicken and herb white pizza with garlic sauce.” Bianca said.
“Mmmm. That sounds yummy,” I replied.
“That’s what we made when Aiden visited Dayton,” Lia added. “He loved it.”
I was starting to think that Lia had a crush on Aiden. We chatted and laughed as we busied ourselves with our contribution to the meal. I hadn’t made pizza sauce since high school but as I added and mixed the ingredients, it seemed like it was just yesterday. Aiden and Dianna had left no detail to chance, including the pizza stone. Lia placed the pizza on the stone and closed the oven door and we started on the salad.
“Mom would have loved this,” Bianca said. “She was looking forward to Thanksgiving,” she said. I looked up to see tears pooling in her large amber eyes. I walked over and hugged her. I soon felt Lia’s arms around us. We all stood in the middle of the kitchen hugging and crying as the enormity of our grief came crushing down around us.
Our sobs gradually subsided and we finished the salad and set the table. “You know what? Thanksgiving is two days away and I think we should resume our plans and cook dinner,” I said. Neither of the girls said anything as they headed back to the kitchen.
“I know this is going to be difficult but I think this will be a good, positive step for us,” I said.
“I think so too. It’s just hard to imagine it without Mom,” Lia replied.
“I think you’re right Aria, we should do it. Mom would have wanted that,” Bianca stated.
The oven timer pinged and Lia walked over to remove the pizza. We sat down for lunch and tossed some menu ideas around. We all seemed to lean more toward the traditional entrées so we decided to stick with those. The pizza was fabulous. Lia suggested we have pizza night at least once a month, a suggestion to which Bianca and I quickly agreed.
After lunch, we decided on the Thanksgiving menu and made a quick check of the pantry. We really didn’t need many food items thanks to Dianna and Aiden. We made a list and the girls went to the building’s gym to look around.
I felt crowded, out of my element. I didn’t like it. This would have been difficult no matter what but it would have been an easier transition had I not shut myself off from my family for so many years. We were all fiddling our way through a forced arrangement. I didn’t know what to do to make it easier. I guess the only thing that could do that was time. I didn’t want to push and bring too many feelings to the surface that could cause catastrophic consequences but I needed to know that they were okay, that they were managing. We’d discussed counseling and decided to keep it as an option, maybe we should take that off the back-burner or maybe I could be intentional about having in-depth talks on a routine basis. I really didn’t know what the answer was. Maybe I was expecting too much too soon. I’d had several years to get adjusted to the idea of having a life without parents and how to cope without family. But they still had Mom and a small appearance of family life. So this was much more of a mentally dynamic change for them than it was for me.
How was I going to do this? I walked into my closet and went to the corner that I typically avoided. I opened the bottom drawer in the far corner and pulled out the forbidden box. I slowly opened it and my attention was immediately drawn to the pink heart-shaped note that bore my mother’s handwriting. I picked it up and trailed my fingertips across the two small but immensely powerful words. Mom constantly left notes like this in my room, on my door or in my book bag. Two words in Italian. Ti Amo. Once Dad left, the notes appeared less and less until one day they disappeared altogether. I placed her letter on top of the note and put the box away.
Aiden called to check in and he also invited us to his home for Thanksgiving. I was thankful for his offer but I felt we needed this time alone. I was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t push. I actually didn’t have the energy to debate and I knew that he could sense that. He was being careful with me, and I really appreciated his efforts, especially since I knew that his preference would be to take control and make everything okay.
After our trip to the market, we each selected the items we’d cook. The girls had the turkey; they were confident they could do it. That would be interesting.
*****
Thanksgiving came and went very quickly. We’d made a huge mess of the kitchen but the dinner was delicious. The girls had done an awesome job with the turkey. There was uncomfortable silence at times during dinner but that was understandable; we were thinking of Mom. We were thinking of what could have been. We were thinking of what would never be.
The girls started class the following Monday at Boston Latin and I went back to work. I’d checked in with Mrs. Warner to help with their car and packing up the house. We were donating the car to a charity and updating it to something more reliable. In the meantime, they had a rental car until we had a chance to go car shopping.
We soon developed a routine and we were seemingly comfortable with the recent changes. I’d reached out to the school counselor for some advice; she’d suggested that I consider counseling with her or with another mental health provider of my choosing. She wasn’t terribly alarmed but she did feel that it would be helpful. It reminded me of my time with the school counselor. I’d been attempting to cope with the loss of my father. Now my sisters will be coping with the loss of their mother. Counseling would be a step in the right direction because it could allow us to at least access the threshold of the doors that we were afraid to open.
The same night over dinner, I suggested counseling and they were slightly hesitant to respond but eventually recognized the benefit. We decided to see a counselor outside of the school system. I told them that I would start making the necessary contacts to secure an appointment as soon as possible. They appeared to be adjusting well and they really liked Boston Latin and were quickly making new friends. Mrs. Warner and some of their friends from Dayton constantly called to check in on them. I knew they missed Dayton and their home so I made plans for them to visit soon.
I was also looking forward to my upcoming alone time with Aiden. He’d been gone for the last week and I missed him terribly. Due to the vast difference in time zones, texts and emails had become our pri
mary means of communication.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
My life was now unabridged chaos; there had been so many unwanted alterations to my life and my head was spinning. Everything was different; my career, my family, my household, my sex life. I was a strict creature of habit. If it wasn’t written down or planned, then it simply wasn’t happening! I had found comfort in that. I no longer had that comfort and I hadn’t processed how I was managing without it. I’d been carefully placing one foot in front of the other hoping I didn’t fall, afraid I would disintegrate if I took the time to come to terms with it all. There was a time, in the very recent past, when I would have eagerly rushed to the familiar comfort and isolation the condo provided, but not today. I longed for a distraction from those norms but not just any distraction, a distraction that could only be provided by one extremely hot and sexual man. It wasn’t just the physical distraction that I craved. I honestly needed some time away from the surroundings that no longer felt as familiar and comforting as they once did. I needed time away from what my life had become ... away from the vulnerability of my current reality.
I was meeting Aiden at the penthouse within the hour. I needed to see him. I needed to be with him ... to be in his arms, to simply be in his presence. My sisters had left for Dayton earlier this morning and I had spent the afternoon at the spa. I was in dire need of some deep relaxation. I partook of a massage, facial and a full body wax.
I was entering the condo when my phone pinged. It was Kellan. I was absolutely giddy that he and I were maintaining a friendship despite my growing relationship with Aiden. I hadn’t broached the topic of defining my relationship with Kellan because I felt as if I had once again tossed him aside for Aiden. He hadn’t mentioned it and neither had I. I knew that I should feel guilty but I didn’t. I couldn’t control my feelings … nor would I bother with the pretense of controlling them as I had done in the past. I was doing the one thing Aiden had asked me to do on several occasions – I was going with it. And as for Kellan, I wanted him in my life. I couldn’t explain why but I didn’t want to say goodbye to him nor did I feel I should.
I excitedly read his text to see that he had great news about his recent hedge fund development. He was on track to becoming a portfolio manager. I replied to his text and dashed to my bedroom to pack a bag.
I was at the penthouse within the next hour. Aiden opened the door and I pounced on him, jumping into his arms. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed my lips against his. He opened his mouth and I slid my tongue inside. Our tongues danced as our breathing became heavy and labored. My hands were in his hair, my fingers twisting … I wanted him closer. Fuck, I wanted him naked. I reached for his shirt and started to unbutton it but he pulled my hands away.
“What?” I asked, panting as I looked down at him.
“As far as homecomings go, I couldn’t have asked for anything better but I think we should close the door first,” he said, smiling. “Dianna dropped by to pick up some things before she heads back to Chicago so …”
“Oh,” I said, embarrassed.
He placed me back on my feet and reached in his pants to readjust himself.
“Let me do that,” I offered.
“Damn, you really want to be fucked don’t you?” he asked.
“More than you can imagine. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Princess.”
“I think this is everything,” Dianna said, walking into the room with a box.
“Let me get that for you Dianna,” Aiden offered, grabbing the box from her.
“Hello Miss Cason,” she said, smiling. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“Hi Dianna, it’s nice to see you too.”
“I’d better get going. I’m flying back to Chicago today. My sister is doing much better.”
“That’s wonderful news, Dianna,” I said.
“It certainly is. Well, hopefully I’ll see you at Mr. Aiden’s birthday party in a few months. Take care, Miss Cason.”
“You too, Dianna.” I watched as Aiden helped her out with the box.
“I’ll be right back Aria. Make yourself at home,” he said, following Dianna out the door.
Birthday party? Aiden’s birthday was six months away. I walked in and took a seat beside the fireplace and waited for him to come back.
“You’re having a birthday party?” I asked, when he entered the room. I was a little hurt that he hadn’t mentioned it to me.
“Apparently,” he replied walking closer, pulling me into an embrace that I slightly resisted.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Why was I not invited?” I asked.
“I just learned of it this morning, Aria.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Mother.”
“What?” I asked.
“I’ll show you. Give me a second,” he said, and walked toward the study.
My phone rang. I looked at the screen but didn’t recognize the number. I considered not answering but thought better of it since Lia and Bianca were traveling; I didn’t know whose phone they could be using so I quickly pressed answer. “Hello.”
“Is this Aria Cason?” the caller asked. I didn’t recognize the voice.
“Yes. To whom am I speaking?” I asked.
Silence.
“Hello,” I said, again.
“Yes, I’m here. I thought I was prepared to hear the voice of the woman who slept with my husband, but apparently I was wrong.”
“Excuse me? Who is this?” I asked.
“If what I previously said doesn’t clue you in, then you’ve obviously made a habit of fucking married men. I guess I should make it clear ... this is Tiffany Patrick.”
I choked back what I really wanted to say because I needed to keep this situation contained. “Tiffany, the only reason I’m not replying to your insult in the way it deserves is because we both were victims in this situation but if you continue to speak to me like that, I have no problem forgoing my calm and letting you know exactly what I think of you and this bullshit.”
“I’m sure your calm has more to do with your need to keep this quiet than a commonality of wounds,” she replied.
I stepped into the foyer hoping I was out of Aiden’s hearing range. “Listen bitch, don’t give the pretense of knowing shit about me.”
“I may not know you but I know women like you.”
“Women like me? Oh, you mean women who’ve met men who’ve lied about being married to horrid bitches like you? Maybe this is how you get your kicks but I have better things to do with my time so if you would like for this conversation to continue, I suggest you drop the insults and get to the point of this fucking phone call.”
“I’m sure your friend explained that my attorney is planning to subpoena you,” she stated.
“Actually no, she didn’t. Your marriage … or divorce rather, has nothing to do with me.”
“Isn’t it too bad you didn’t feel that way before you had my husband’s dick inside you?”
“You’re a childish bitch. This is my last time telling you to watch your fucking mouth.”
“What’s going on Aria?” Aiden asked, having stepped behind me.
I spun around to face him. “Nothing. Can I have some privacy please?” I asked, hoping he hadn’t heard too much.
“Who is that?” he implored. I could see that he wasn’t exactly overflowing with patience.
“No one important,” I replied, as I pressed end on the phone call. I was sure I hadn’t heard the last of that bitch. She would definitely call back later.
“What?” I asked, scowling at Aiden.
“You already know what. I’ll ask once more Aria. Who was that?”
“And I will tell you one time Aiden, it’s of no concern to you,” I replied, pushing past him. I switched my phone to vibrate. Aiden was on my heels. He was not going to let this go. I sat on the couch and watched him as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He
pressed something on his phone and walked over to me and grabbed mine. I reached to get it from him but it was of no use.
“Run a trace on this number and let me know exactly who it is. Yes, as soon as possible,” he said, speaking into the phone as he watched me.
I grabbed my phone from his hand as he passed it back to me. “How dare you! If I wanted you to know who I was speaking to, I would have told you.”
“If you speak to anyone the way you were speaking to the person on the other end of that call, it’s because they’ve stepped out of line with you and I won’t allow anyone to do that.”
“You step out of line with me on a regular basis,” I retorted.
“That’s because I’m allowed,” he stated, matter of factly.
“Like hell you are.”
“Aria, I’m not going to argue about this. I’ll have the information I need soon enough.”
“Please stay out of this Aiden,” I pleaded.
His phone rang. “If you’ll excuse me. Yes? Anything else? No, that will be all.” He pressed end on the call and coolly placed his phone back into his pocket.
“Why is Dane Patrick’s wife calling you?” he asked, walking towards me.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. What’s going on Aria?” he demanded.
“Why don’t you just pick me up and shake the details from me Aiden? You can’t just insert yourself into matters that do not involve you.”
“Is there something you need to tell me?”
“You sound as if you already know. You can’t continue to invade my fucking privacy!”
