“No.”
“Joy is so excited about Christmas.”
“Joy is the reason I’m here. No, that’s not exactly true. I’m here because of you.”
She wiped her hands on her apron. Suddenly he crossed the room and grasped her hands. Startled, she stared into his eyes. They were dark with emotion. “When I first arrived, I never planned to stay here, but from the moment we met, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“Nor I about you.”
“I’m not very good at this. I know this is too soon, but I want you to know that I have fallen in love with you, Leah Belier. I never intended to. I tried not to, but you are an overwhelming force of nature.”
“I’m not sure whether to be flattered or not.”
“I just learned that Valerie has relinquished all rights to Joy. She and I are free to stay here.”
“How sad for her, but how wonderful for you.”
“There is something I have to ask you.”
She laid a hand on his lips. “Before you say anything, I must speak. I have forgiven you for everything in the past. It took me a long time to let go of my anger, but you have made me see that people really can change.”
He smiled sadly. “In all the years I was gone, I never belonged anywhere. I blamed that on the events of my life. I tried to find a place where I could be happy, but I always came up short. Until I came home. I want to stay now. I want you to want me to stay.”
“I do. Caleb, you and Joy have come to mean so much to me. I can’t imagine my life without you. You have my forgiveness. We will never mention the past again.”
He caressed her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “I treasure the fact that you forgive me, but I’m not the father of your sister’s child.”
She turned her face away from his touch. “Caleb, please.”
He took a step away from her. “I wanted everyone to know the truth. I wanted to hold my head up. Most of all I wanted my family to believe me. It doesn’t matter anymore what other people think, but I need to hear it from you. I need to hear that you believe me.”
“Caleb, you’re asking me to call my sister a liar.”
“Yes, I am.”
Leah pressed a hand to her forehead. This was her worst nightmare. “Don’t do this. Don’t make me choose.”
The light went out of his eyes. Grayness settled over his face. “I guess that’s my answer, then, isn’t it?” He turned toward the door.
“Caleb, wait.”
He paused with his hand on the door, but he didn’t look at her. “Wait for what, Leah? What will change your mind? A DNA test? Rhonda won’t consent to that because she knows I’m not the father. I asked you for too much. I’m sorry. How can there be anything between us if you think I’m a heartless liar?”
She crossed the room to lay her hands on his arm. “I want to believe you, Caleb. I want to believe my sister, too. All I can do is say the past is the past. I know you aren’t like that now. You’re a fine, caring man and a good father.”
“Maybe it’s in the past for you, but not for me.” He opened the door and walked out.
Leah put a hand behind her to search for the table, and staggered on trembling legs until she ran into it. She didn’t have the strength to stand up. She collapsed onto a chair and put her head in her hands. How could such a wonderful night have turned out so horribly wrong?
“Oh, Caleb, what have we done?” She buried her face in her arms and wept.
* * *
Caleb wiped the tears from his cheeks before he entered the house. Thankfully, his parents had already gone to bed. He climbed the steps to his room and paused at Joy’s door to check in on her. She was sleeping peacefully. His tears started flowing again.
He shut her door, sat on the edge of his bed and tried to figure out what to do now. Now that his precious dream had crumbled to dust. He couldn’t blame Leah for supporting her sister. The fact that Wayne hadn’t believed his side of the story had cut like a knife.
At least Joy was safe and happy now. That part of his plan had worked out. He lay back and covered his eyes with his arm. Where did he go from here?
He didn’t get much sleep, but he eventually came to a decision. When he heard his parents stirring downstairs the next morning, he rose and went down, too. His mother took one look at his face and knew something was wrong.
“Caleb, what is it?” She clutched her apron in her hands.
He tried to smile and allay her worry. “I had a call from my attorney yesterday.”
“It’s bad news?”
“No, it’s good news. Valerie has relinquished her rights. Joy will be able to stay here forever.”
“It is sad for the child’s mother but wunderbaar for us.” His mother turned back to the stove.
Caleb’s father read between the lines. “Joy will stay with us, but you will not.”
His mother spun around. “Why do you say that?”
“I have to go back to Texas for a while. There is paperwork that needs to be done. I have my place to put on the market. It may take a few months, so I’ll be taking a job down there.”
“Months? So long?” She glanced at her husband.
Ike drew a deep breath. “We will take goot care of Joy until you return.”
“I knew you would.”
“Where are you going, Daddy?” Joy stood in the doorway with a look of panic on her face.
He forced a bright smile. “Good morning, kiddo. Come here, I have something to tell you.”
She crossed the room slowly. He sat in a chair and lifted her onto his lap. “Do you remember when I said I would never leave without telling you where I’m going and when I’ll be back?”
“Yes.”
“Joy, I have to go to Texas for a while. You know I’ve been looking for a job and I can’t find one here, but I have a job waiting for me in Houston. I’ll need to stay there for several months, so I can’t tell you exactly when I’ll be back.”
He wasn’t lying. He would be back. To visit, but not to stay and build a life as he once thought. He couldn’t bear facing Leah time and again, knowing his love for her was hopeless.
“When are you going?”
“Tomorrow.”
His mother started sniffling and left the room.
Tears formed in Joy’s eyes. “But you will miss my program and my birthday.”
He hated to disappoint her, but wasn’t it better to make a quick clean break? She would be so busy she wouldn’t even miss him, but he was going to miss her.
It wasn’t for her sake that he was leaving so soon. He was a coward. He couldn’t bear to drag out the parting. He couldn’t stand to face Leah again knowing how much he loved her and knowing she would never believe his side of the story.
“I’m sorry about that, but you can tell me all about your program and Christmas when we talk. Grandpa will take you to use the phone at the neighbor’s house so we can stay in touch. You can call me anytime. He and Grandma will be there for your program, so you won’t be alone. Okay?”
“I guess.” She got off his lap and left the room.
His father said, “Caleb, you are making a big mistake.”
“Mistakes are what I seem to do best, Dad.” He rose and went to his room to pack.
Chapter Fifteen
Leah didn’t leave her house on Saturday. All she did was cry and ask God why He had allowed her to fall in love with someone who broke her heart. If she indulged in self-pity, there was no one but Trixie to see. No one to tell her she was better off without Caleb. No one who could lend her a shoulder to cry on. She was a foolish spinster who lived with a dog. If she had been content with her lot, she wouldn’t be grieving now.
It wasn’t until Sunday evening that she finally got a grip on her tattered emotions. She began to analyze her last conversation with Caleb without the hurt and anger clouding her judgment.
Caleb had asked her to believe he wasn’t David’s father. After years of thinking that was the
case, she repeated what she believed was true. Rhonda said he was the father. Rhonda wouldn’t lie.
Or would she?
Caleb had been sincere. He desperately wanted Leah to believe him even if she was the only one who did. It would have been much easier for him to accept her forgiveness and let it go at that. They could have been happy together, for she’d meant it when she said she forgave him. She never would have mentioned it again. Had he cast her aside out of false pride?
He’d said he loved her. She believed that. If she loved him, and God help her, she did, then she had to believe in him. Caleb was telling the truth.
So why had Rhonda lied?
It was time to find out. Leah wouldn’t leave her sister’s house until everything was out in the open.
It was late by the time Leah drove up and stopped in front of her sister’s gate, but there was a single lamp burning in the kitchen. Through the window, she could see Rhonda scrubbing the kitchen floor, always the last chore of her day. She looked up in surprise when Leah walked in.
“Sister, what are you doing here? Is something wrong?”
“Where’s Wayne?”
Rhonda propped her mop against the wall. “He’s out in the barn. One of the horses has foundered. What’s going on?”
“Where is David?”
“He’s outside with Wayne. Are you going to tell me what you’re doing here?”
“You lied about Caleb being the father of your child. Why?”
Leah waited for her sister’s reply. She couldn’t believe she was questioning her sister’s honesty, but either Caleb was lying or her sister was. In her heart, Leah wanted to believe both spoke the truth, but that wasn’t possible.
Rhonda turned away. “How can you say such a thing? Do you think I would lie about something like that?”
The hesitation in her sister’s voice told Leah the truth. Her legs buckled. She sat down at the kitchen table. “Oh, Rhonda, why did you do it?”
If only she’d had the courage to believe Caleb. Would he forgive her for doubting him?
Rhonda spun back, her eyes snapping with anger. “How can you believe that outsider over your own sister?”
“You ruined his life.”
“He ruined my life. Look at my face.”
“Who is David’s father?”
“Caleb.”
Anger gave Leah a strength she never suspected she possessed. Springing to her feet, she grabbed her sister’s shoulders and shook her. “Do you even know how to tell the truth?”
Rhonda pushed her away and folded her arms tightly across her chest. She seemed to shrink into herself. “Why can’t you leave it be?”
“Because I’m in love with Caleb and because I don’t want to see you suffering anymore. Tell me what happened. Please, Rhonda.”
“It isn’t a pretty tale.”
When they sat beside each other on the sofa, Rhonda said, “I didn’t blame Caleb for what happened. It was an accident. I knew that. He tried so hard to make it up to me. He took me home from church a few times. He talked me into going to a singing, but I was self-conscious, I didn’t like people staring at me.”
“So when did you meet David’s father?”
A look of disgust flooded Rhonda’s eyes. “He came to our house. You remember him. He took me to the police station to make a statement about the accident.”
“Drake Colburn? An Englisch officer of the law?” She hadn’t expected that.
“At first, he was nice to me. He made me feel pretty again. I thought I was in love with him. I even considered running away to be with him. Then I found out he was married. He was only using me. I was such a fool.”
“Oh, Rhonda, I’m so sorry you went through that. Did Drake know you were pregnant?”
Rhonda’s eyes widened. “He doesn’t know David is his. He can’t know. Don’t you see? David is proof of what he did. He could take my son away. He has the English law on his side. His wife was never able to have children.”
“Rhonda, I don’t believe he could take David from you.”
“I can’t risk it. Don’t you see that?” She choked back a sob.
“Why say Caleb was the father? Was it because you blamed him for what had happened to you?”
“I thought if I told Caleb what had happened that he would marry me and make everything right. He had been so kind.”
“So Caleb knew?”
“Nee, I had so much morning sickness that Mamm guessed what was wrong before I had a chance to tell Caleb. She and Daed confronted me. I panicked. I told them Caleb was the father. I was too ashamed to admit what had really happened. Daed was so angry. He made me go with him to see Caleb’s parents that day and demand that he do the right thing.”
“But Caleb wouldn’t.”
“When he denied it, I didn’t know what to say. Once I accused him of being the father, I couldn’t change my story. I surely couldn’t tell Daed and Mamm the truth. I never expected Caleb to leave. I honestly thought that he would come around and accept that he had to marry me.”
“No one believed him, and everyone believed you.” Her sister had suffered a great wrong, but Caleb was a victim, too.
“When Wayne offered to marry me, I thought my nightmare was finally over. I knew I was breaking your heart, but you are so pretty, and you are so smart, I thought you would find someone else to love. Can you forgive me?”
“Wayne wasn’t the one for me. I know that now. Does Wayne know about Drake?”
Rhonda clutched Leah’s arm. “Wayne gave you up, he disowned his brother, all because of my lie. How could I tell him it was all for nothing? You can’t tell him. Promise me you won’t tell him. I couldn’t bear to see him look at me with more contempt than he already does.”
“It’s none of my business, but it’s clear that things aren’t right between the two of you.”
Rhonda pressed a hand to her cheek. “He can’t stand to look at my face. He thinks I’m hideous.”
Neither of them had heard Wayne enter the house until he spoke. “I don’t find you hideous. It is my own guilt I can’t abide when I look at you.”
Startled, they both faced him. There were tears on his face.
“You heard!” Rhonda wailed. She sank to the floor and covered her face with her hands.
He crossed the room, ignoring Leah, and dropped to his knees in front of his wife. “I heard, and I would give anything to undo the pain you suffered. You are not hideous. Your face is beautiful to me.”
“But I lied to you.”
“I, too, have lived a lie, mein lieb, my own true love. I was the one driving the car the night of your accident. I thought I killed you. I ran home and Caleb found me cowering in the barn. I was so frightened I couldn’t move. He raced to your side. He got help and saved your life.”
Leah shook her head. “But Caleb took the blame for the whole thing.”
Wayne looked up at her. “I tried to tell my father it was my fault, but the words stuck in my throat. I couldn’t bear for him to know of my shame. Caleb was always in trouble. It was easy for everyone to believe he’d done such a reckless thing. My father shunned him. As the days went on, I grew terrified that Caleb would reveal the truth about that night. That’s why I was glad he left and why I wanted him to leave again. I’m ashamed of what I have become. Rhonda, can you forgive me?”
“Now you know David has an English father, you must hate me.”
He took her hands between his. “David is my son in every way. I could not love him more if I tried. Please believe that.”
She gazed into his eyes. “I do. I pray you will someday love me, too.”
He gently pressed a hand to her scarred cheek. “We have much to learn about each other now that there are no more secrets between us. If it takes me a lifetime, I will earn your love.”
“It won’t take that long, for you already have my heart.”
He cupped her face and kissed her.
Leah left them alone and walked into the kitchen. She mad
e coffee because she needed to do something. All Caleb had asked of her was to have faith in him, to trust him, and she had turned him away. She would tell him how wrong she had been and beg his forgiveness.
The outside door opened, startling her. Ike Mast came in, shaking the snow from his hat. He searched the room with his eyes and then focused on Wayne and Rhonda. “Is Joy here with you?”
Leah stared at him in shock. “No. How long has she been missing?”
“Maybe an hour. I’m not sure. She went to her room after supper. When I checked on her before I turned in, she was gone.”
“Have you been to my house? She loves to visit the puppies.”
“I came here first. I think she is upset because Caleb is gone.”
Disbelief stole Leah’s voice. A loud buzzing filled her head. No. Had she driven him away with her doubts? What had she done? Rhonda came to her side and put her arms around her. Leah leaned against her, thankful for her support.
Wayne stared at his father. “What do you mean, Caleb is gone?”
“He left two hours ago to drive back to Texas. I don’t know why. I thought he had found peace with us.”
* * *
Caleb paced the small confines of a service station waiting room just off Interstate 77. He had been on the road for only twenty minutes when his check-engine light came on. At least he’d caught a break when he found a place open on Sunday. Outside, the snow was picking up. He wanted to get on the road. The last place he wanted to be was stuck in Ohio in a snowstorm.
He carried his foam cup of lousy coffee to the window. Half the parking lot was blocked off by sawhorses with yellow flashing lights on top and caution written in black letters across them.
A fellow traveler came through the door. He stamped his feet on the worn rug. “Do you work here?”
Caleb shook his head. “I’m just waiting to find out how much it is going to cost me to drive out of here.”
The shop owner came in from the service bay, wiping his hands on a pink rag. He patted his salt-and-pepper hair into place, scratched his grizzled whiskers and finished wiping his hands on his stained overalls. “What can I do for you, sir?”
Amish Christmas Joy (Mills & Boon Love Inspired) (Brides of Amish Country - Book 10) Page 18
