by Edith DuBois
“Okay,” she managed to squeak out through all the uncontrollable lurching.
“Good, ’cause I think now is the perfect time to steal me one of those kisses.” He pulled her into his arms and planted his warm mouth over hers. He bent her backward and had his way with her lips. Roy yipped and pranced around them, anxious to continue their walk.
Marina broke away, giggling.
“Mmm! You’re tasting extra delicious this morning,” Johnny said, smacking his lips.
“I put maple syrup in my oatmeal.”
He gave her rear a nice, firm squeeze and then took her hand again. Humming a little tune as they walked along, he would occasionally point out spots where he and his brothers had gotten into mischief when they were younger or where he’d seen interesting wildlife on past walks. As they ventured further into the countryside, Marina let Roy off his leash, and occasionally Johnny cut off a small branch here and there. He cut a few sprigs of mistletoe and bit of prickly greenery. When he had a nice-sized bundle, he pulled a bit of twine out of his pocket and tied all of it together. She thought he’d been making it for her, but he simply carried the tiny bundle, chatting happily but never handing it over.
They’d been walking about fifteen minutes when Johnny grabbed her hand and tugged her off the path. “Come on,” he said, shooting her a sexy grin. “There’s something I want to show you.”
“Roy!” Marina called out. “Let’s go, boy. This way.” The dog perked up for a moment and then darted toward them, running away from the edge of the lake where he had been investigating a bit of shrubbery poking through the whiteness. They worked their way through the snow, stomping and forging a path amongst the trees. Johnny tugged her along, and Roy bounded beside them. A few minutes later, Marina was panting, and Johnny stopped.
“This is it,” he said. When she looked up, she noticed they’d made it to the top of a hill. Johnny had brought her to a small chapel. It was constructed with stones of petrified wood and had a modest steeple on the front of the roof. It was tucked into the trees. There was no sign in front of it, and some of the windows had been shattered.
“It’s abandoned?” she asked.
Johnny nodded. “It was used in the pioneer days, but when Savage Valley began to grow, a bigger church was built closer to town. This one was left to the wilderness.” Marina walked up to one of the broken windows and peered inside. There were only about eight rows of pews, and a stark wooden pulpit at the front. She could tell a thick layer of dust and dirt lay over the insides, but it gave the interior an air of untouched, sacred beauty.
When she turned around to look back in the direction they had come from, she sucked in a sharp breath. Positioned on the crest of a hill, the chapel overlooked all of Brown Trout Lake, and Marina could see the waters stretched out before them, sparkling and pristine in the early morning light.
“Oh my.” She gasped in wonderment. “This is…”
He took her hand and squeezed. After his eyes swept across the vista, he turned those black orbs on her. “You like it, sweetheart?”
He was anxious. He wanted her to like this place. She could hear it in his voice. “Johnny, this is so beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Really?”
She cupped his cheek and then stood on her toes to kiss him. The air was still and calm around them, and as she smelled Johnny, as his lips moved gently over hers, she felt herself crumbling into him. God, how she wanted to give him everything, how easy it would be. She could call up Bo and tell him to forget everything. She could run all the way back down to the preservation center and tell Jeremiah she wanted him. She could tell him she was his. She could be a part of this place.
Johnny pulled his mouth away and looked down at her, sweeping her bangs away from her eyes. She had to blink a couple times. Her thoughts had become so jumbled in the warmth of his kiss.
She wouldn’t stay. All the old reasons bubbled up, and even though she’d been over them again and again and again, they were still just as true. As much as she loved Johnny for bringing her to this special place, it didn’t make her belong here any more than before. He was wasting its specialness on her, and she felt guilty.
“I thought we promised to forget about all that,” Johnny whispered.
She frowned up at him, wondering how he’d known her thoughts had strayed.
“Your face shows everything, Marina. You have an adorable little pout, but when you think about anything serious, it disappears. Usually, that happens right after you kiss me or one of my brothers. Or after we fuck you senseless.”
She tried to shove out of his arms. “Come on, be serious.”
After yanking her close, he whispered in her ear. “I’m dead serious. I know you are tormented with thoughts of leaving and even more with thoughts of staying. When I touch you, when we are so close to each other, you don’t know what to do with yourself. I know.” He kissed her neck. “I know, Marina.”
“Then let me go.” She’d nearly choked on the words.
He chuckled and then stepped away. “You are so stubborn.” He pinched her nose, and she swatted at him. “Come on,” he said, “there’s one more thing I want to show you.”
She should have demanded he answer her and then marched straight down that hill, but she couldn’t. In fact, she should quit fooling around with them all together. Sighing and cursing her weak will, she followed him around to the back of the chapel, to a small area enclosed by an iron fence. She was damned and cursed no matter what she did.
“What’s this?” she asked as Johnny opened a small, squeaky gate and motioned her inside.
“I thought that before you go”—he walked a few steps away from the gate and knelt down, brushing snow from a spot on the ground—“you should at least see this place.” He’d uncovered a headstone and now placed the tiny bundle of branches he’d gathered on top of it. He stood up and met Marina’s eyes and shrugged. “I wanted you to meet my parents.”
As she gingerly made her way toward him, her heart began lurching like crazy again. She looked down at the stone he’d uncovered and read the engraving.
Here lies Janet McClendon Greenwood, a wife beloved, a mother cherished.
“Is Janet your mother?”
Johnny nodded.
“Are all the Greenwoods buried here?”
He nodded again. “This is my whole family. Right here on this small plot of land. It’s funny. My father brought me here when I was about eight.” He bent over and wiped the snow from two more stones. “It had been several years since the accident. We would go months without talking about it, without even mentioning Mama or Papa Dan. Then one morning, out of the blue, Papa William got all three of us out of bed. He didn’t say much. Mama and Papa Dan were the chatterbugs, he always told us. But that morning he got three sleepy boys out of bed, helped us bundle up in scarves and gloves, and then took us out for a walk. It had snowed the night before. Everything was fresh and untouched. It looked a lot like it does now. A blanket of white everywhere. I think that’s maybe what made him want to take us up here. It was almost like the snow had made everything new again, and maybe he needed to make sure we would remember.”
Johnny straightened up and took her hand, looking down at the three stones as he spoke. “We walked up here and said a small prayer over Mama and Papa Dan, and then we walked back around to the front of the chapel and just stared at the lake. Looking back now, even as young as we were, we must have known something. Like, even though we couldn’t understand why, we knew this wasn’t just an ordinary walk. There was something different.
“And then all of a sudden Papa William picked me up and hugged me. When he set me back on the ground, he knelt down and looked at us, at me and my brothers. And he said, ‘Boys, I want you to promise me something. Can you do that?’ We all three nodded obediently. He said, ‘I want you to bring me back here when I’m old. This is where I want to be. I want to lay with the ones I love, here in the snow. Do you understand me, boy
s? Can you promise me this?’
“I was only eight years old, but I could tell, you know? I knew he was scared, knew he thought we might forget.” Johnny chuckled. “So then I did what any self-respecting eight-year-old does. I spit in the palm of my hand, held it out to him, and said, ‘I promise, Papa.’”
“You didn’t!”
Johnny nodded. “I sure did, and you know what? Papa William spit in his palm, and we shook on it right then and there.”
Marina laughed softly at the image of an eight-year-old Johnny making a spit-promise with his father, but then her smile faded. She looked at Johnny and then gazed down at the three stones.
“You brought him back.”
Johnny nodded. He was lost in thought. His eyes had a dazed quality, so she stood silently, letting him have his quiet moment and wondering why he had decided to share this story and this place with her. This wasn’t a memory to be shared lightly. Even though she was technically his mate, he didn’t have to bring her here, didn’t have to clutch at her insides with heartbreaking family histories.
He turned toward her and held her face, his eyes searching hers. She looked away, unable to face his scrutiny. “Marina,” he whispered, “I want you to know that no matter what you think, or what you believe, you have a place here. With us and with this land.”
Those words—those beautiful, tempting words—caused her to suck in a deep breath. She had to steel herself against the alluring call of everything those words promised her. She had to keep telling herself that she didn’t need to belong anywhere or to anyone. She belonged to the air, to the wind, to everything moving.
It was what she had always known about herself.
It was what she had always known about everything.
“Johnny,” she said, letting his hand go. “I need to ask you for something, and I want you to really consider what I’m asking. It won’t be easy, but I think…”
His fingertips brushed tendrils away from her face. “What is it? You know, you must know by now, that I would do anything to make you happy. My brothers, too.”
“This is my second to last night in Savage Valley.” His features tensed. “It is, Johnny. I don’t know how else to say it.”
“Go on,” he said through gritted teeth. When she hesitated, unsure if he was actually going to listen to her request, he said, “Go ahead and ask me what you’re gonna ask me.”
“I want to spend my last night at Aunt Agnes’s, maybe see Michelle. There are some things I need to say to her, things I want her to know before I go.” Marina bit her bottom lip, swallowing down the hot ball that had lodged itself in the back of her throat.
Johnny stared at her a long while, and she gave herself over to those black depths. She surrendered every emotion to his probing gaze, and for the first time, she trusted him to understand her, to see that she truly needed this. Finally he sighed. “Let’s head back.”
“Johnny?” she asked, holding his chin.
Suddenly his face changed. He pulled her close and pressed a fierce kiss upon her lips. Running his fingers through her hair, he said, “You’re gonna get your way in this. But just know, I’m wishing you’ll stay. Know that I’m hoping.” He kissed her again, but it was softer. It tugged at her like a melody. It pulled her toward him like a long-forgotten strain. “I’m always hoping for that,” he whispered.
Marina didn’t want to think about it, but her mind refused to give her peace.
In two days, she would take the compound, and in two days, she would leave everything behind. That would be the end of it. It had seemed so easy to tell herself that the misery would end, that she would finally be able to leave Savage Valley and all of its insanity behind.
But holding Johnny’s hand while walking back to the center, she knew that nothing about leaving the Greenwoods would be simple. After all, Savage Valley was just some tiny, tucked-away town, hidden in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado—albeit, a tiny, tucked-away town with bear-shifters.
But somehow, she belonged to this strange little place.
The thought surprised her. Her mind should have run screaming in the opposite direction. It should have chased the thought off with a heavy-duty battering ram. Instead, she tucked the thought in some small, warm place in her brain and held it there. She allowed the thought to stay and kept it safe. In two days’ time, after she took the compound and left, after she had severed her mating bond with Johnny and James, and after she had left Savage Valley forever, she wanted to hold on to the warmth of that thought for as long as possible.
For reasons unknown, she liked the idea of belonging here.
Chapter Fourteen
“Damn right I’m making this harder.” James’s voice had an edge, and Marina knew he would do nothing to tame it. “If you think I’m just gonna let you drink some of Bo’s bullshit potion and then prance off away from here forever, you’re even more pigheaded than I thought.”
“James, I have to be onstage in five minutes. This isn’t—” His lips crashed against hers and stole the rest of her sentence. She felt his kiss in her gut. It stole all the oxygen from her lungs. It set her blood on fire. Her body was his, and he knew it. His tongue moved in and rolled against the roof of her mouth. He jabbed at her and left no room for maneuvering. He possessed every thought.
She whimpered at the feel of his hard cock nudging up against her stomach. Reaching a hand down, she curled her fingers up under his bulge and held him. The weight of him in her hand sent arousal roiling through her veins.
He reached down and trapped her hand against his cock. Then as abruptly as he’d started the kiss, he broke it off, looking down at her with a blazing triumph. “Now try to tell me you don’t love me.”
“I don’t believe in—”
“Goddamn it, yes you do. I know you do. You believe in it. Because you love us. You love us, Marina.”
She shook her head. “You can’t say it and make it so.”
His lips broke over hers again. He wanted everything from her. He wouldn’t stop until he had it. “You do love us, whether you can admit it or not.” He reached up and wiped a renegade tear that had fallen down her cheek. “You’re in love with me and with Johnny and with Jeremiah. We could make you the happiest woman in the world if you’d let us.”
Marina turned her face away from him. Lights shone down, bright and hot. She could hear the growing buzz of the crowd as more and more people filed into the amphitheatre. She and the Greenwoods were standing in one of the wings behind huge speakers. Jeremiah and Johnny stood behind their brother, and all three pairs of dark eyes bore into her.
Marina felt hot emotion rising up. She felt rage and helplessness and anger that they treated her life and her career in such a cavalier manner. They acted as if giving everything up would be easy, as if it was a no-brainer.
And a part of her was hurt that they weren’t smiling and cheering her on like everyone else there tonight. She closed her eyes and tamped down her annoyance. “You say you love me, all three of you. You say I’m foolish to deny the existence of love, but I’m not. Every word you’re saying proves how right I am.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She shook her head. “Just forget it. I’m about to go on.”
James turned her back toward him. “Like hell I’m gonna forget it.”
Twisting violently, she yanked herself out of his grip and took a step away. “You ask me to give up everything of myself,” she said, raising her voice over the noise of the crowd. “Yet you sacrifice nothing. You don’t see that it’s more than fame, it’s more than a career or some hobby that you’d be asking me to abandon.”
James glared at her but didn’t attempt to interrupt.
“Look, I know my life before coming to Savage Valley wasn’t perfect. I know that I still have issues I need to figure out, but this—the lights, the crowd, the music—this is all I know. It’s what I’m good at, and above all else, I know that it’s never gonna let me down. It’s always gonna be here
. Music is the only thing I’m good at.”
“That’s not—”
She cut off Jeremiah’s words with a wave of her hand. “If you don’t see that, all three of you, then there’s really nothing I can say that will make you understand.” The brothers didn’t say anything, didn’t offer any explanation.
“Look, tomorrow morning I’ll take the compound, and I’ll be gone forever. And…” She cursed the hot warmth she felt spilling over her cheeks. “And you’ll get over it. You’ll all three get over me. Maybe not right away, maybe not even for a while, but eventually, you’ll see that you never really loved me. This is all just heightened emotions and dramatic timelines because of some ancient Shoshone hoopla. It will go away, though, and one day you’ll be free of me.”
The stage manager came by. “Thirty seconds, Ms. Andrews.” She forced a smile to her lips and nodded at the young man. Then she turned her eyes back to the Greenwoods. “You’ll bring some new girl here and tell her about the magic in your blood, tell her about Deheya’ and about your parents. You’ll tell her she’s the most special woman in the world. And one day you’ll take her to a snow-covered hill and ask her to bring you there when you’re old. One day you’ll all be buried there. Okay?” She jerked her hands across her wet cheeks. “Okay, damn it?”
“Umm…Ms. Andrews?” the stage manager asked, peeking around the Greenwoods.
She sniffed, and Johnny handed her an old handkerchief from his pocket. Wiping her nose, she nodded at the stage manager.
“Okay then, ten seconds,” he whispered, holding out her guitar.
Jeremiah took it before Marina could step into the strap. “You don’t have to do this,” he said. “Marina, this doesn’t make you who you are.”
