Tut

by P. J. Hoover

  Henry and I watched as Gil sauntered away. Once he was out of earshot, I lifted Colonel Cody from the ground and whispered in his ear. “Don’t let him out of your sight. And don’t let him see you following him.”

  13

  WHERE I CURSE THE SCHOOL

  If only the shabtis had cell phones so I could track them. I’d have to talk to Captain Otis about that, because the next days of waiting were torture. I’d have sooner shoved bamboo shoots under my fingernails. Colonel Cody didn’t come back all weekend. Gil didn’t, either. I was stuck in my town house with an angry cat. I tried to explain things to Horus, but no matter what I said, he twisted it around, making it all sound like my fault.

  “Just to make sure I understand, Tut, you told Gil not only about the knife but about the Book of the Dead?” Horus said.

  “Technically no,” I said. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I didn’t say a word. He found out by accident.”

  “Accident,” Horus growled. “Matters of the gods are never accidents.”

  “It’s no big deal. Things will work out.” I had no idea how, but I said the words to make myself feel better. It didn’t work.

  Horus jumped from the futon to his cat scratching post and back to the futon. He hadn’t sat still since I’d come home.

  “How will things work out, Tut?” Horus finally said. “Please explain it to me. Because it seems to me that you’ve gone a little off track from our plan.”

  Our plan. More like Horus’s plan that he’d allowed me to be a part of. And now that things had spiraled out of control, Horus didn’t know what to do.

  “Gil has the knife,” I said. “That was never part of the plan, and it certainly isn’t my fault. The plan led me to Isis. If she still had the knife, we’d be done by now. Everything would be back to normal. But instead, things are like the opposite of normal.”

  Horus stopped his pacing. “I just don’t understand. Why Gil? Why would the Ra give him the knife?”

  Why Gil? It was a good question. And it complicated everything.

  * * *

  “What were you talking to Isis about?” I asked Tia the second she came through the door of World Cultures on Monday.

  “It’s nice to see you, too,” Tia said.

  Henry slid in next to me, his face layered with suspicion. It helped reaffirm the fact that Tia was totally untrustworthy. I knew nothing about her.

  “Seriously,” I said. “How do you even know Isis? What were you doing there?”

  “What were you doing there?” she asked. “You tell me your secrets. I’ll tell you mine.”

  “You know my secrets,” I whispered.

  “Do I really?” she whispered back. I tried to ignore the fact that she was about two inches away from me.

  “I’ll find out what you were doing there,” I said.

  “I’d expect nothing less of you, Tut,” Tia said. She used finger quotes when she said my name, like that wasn’t obvious or anything.

  I waited for Seth to show up next, which of course, he never did. There was no way he could explain the asp pizza. He was part of the Cult of Set. That was the only explanation.

  “Where’s your partner?” I asked.

  “No clue. It’s not my job to keep tabs on Seth Cooper.” Tia fiddled with a bracelet, trying to put it around her wrist, but it kept falling onto the desk. She passed it my way and held her hand out. “Can you help me with this?”

  I grabbed the bracelet and tried to open the little metal thing that clasped it, but it kept snapping out of my fingers. It was some kind of charm bracelet, with about ten different things hanging from it, so every time it fell to the desk, it made a metallic clank.

  “Is this new?” I asked after my third failed attempt.

  “Maybe,” Tia said. “And can you hurry? My arm’s falling asleep.”

  “Where’d you get it?”

  “Isis gave it to me.”

  I almost had it clasped, but I pulled the bracelet back to study it. Each charm was a symbol for a different Egyptian god.

  “Why’d she give it to you?” I asked as I finally fixed it around her wrist. “Are you related to Isis?”

  Tia pulled her hand back. “Why do you keep asking?”

  “Because he wants to know,” Henry said. “So are you?”

  “I refuse to answer,” Tia said. And she refused to say another word for the rest of class.

  Henry and I headed to science. Except our science teacher wasn’t there. The door was locked, and there was a bright green note taped on the glass window.

  Please report to Cafeteria for Assembly

  “Assembly?” Henry said.

  “Maybe we have a speaker?” I said.

  “Like a famous scientist or something. That would be sweet!” Henry was four steps ahead of me before I started walking.

  I caught up to him, and we shuttled off to the cafeteria, only to find twenty other classes crammed inside. Janitors were frantically trying to arrange the tables to fit us all.

  “What’s going on?” Henry asked one of the substitutes, some suburban housewife with a total mom haircut and mom jeans on, who looked like she might break out in hives at any second.

  She pulled a tissue from her giant leather purse and wiped her face, which was covered in sweat.

  “Too many teachers are out sick,” she said. “Some kind of epidemic. They couldn’t find enough substitutes to cover classes, so you get study hall.”

  Henry’s eyes lit up. “We can work on our—”

  I put my hand up to stop him. “Don’t you dare mention the project.”

  “But, Tut…,” he began.

  “Not today.”

  Today I had bigger things to worry about. Like why a crazy sickness seemed to be taking over the school. I left the cafeteria and Henry trailed behind me.

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “I’m looking for answers.” I tried to rule out the sicknesses as coincidence … until we came to the gym. Yellow police tape blocked the entrance. The entire building was closed down, and health inspectors were everywhere.

  “What’s going on?” I asked the nearest health inspector, using my commanding pharaoh voice. Kids didn’t always get the most respect, but my pharaoh voice was almost as powerful as my spells.

  “Insect infestation,” the health inspector said. He looked eager to answer me, like having the privilege of doing so would make his day. “We have to close the building indefinitely.”

  “You’re kidding…,” I said.

  “Does this mean no gym class today?” Henry asked.

  “Kid, this means no gym class for the rest of the year,” the health inspector said. “We haven’t seen an infestation this bad since the sewers flooded decades ago.”

  I thought Henry might jump up and down with joy.

  I wasn’t quite so happy. Teachers and kids were sick. Bugs were everywhere. And everything started after the obelisk blew up. I’d seen plenty of coincidences in my years. This was not one of them.

  “Is there anything else?” I asked the inspector.

  He scratched his head. “Yeah, it’s weird, but there’s some kind of black mist that won’t leave. Smells like sulfur. We’ve tried blowing it out with fans, but it keeps recirculating.”

  Black mist. Sulfur. Sickness. Crazy things going way wrong.

  “It’s the curse,” I said to Henry once we were far enough away from the gym.

  Henry grabbed my arm. “Wait. Like the curse? As in the actual curse?”

  “Great Amun, I think so,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut, as if that might make all my problems go away.

  “I thought you didn’t believe in the curse,” Henry said.

  “Oh, I believe in it, all right. I was there when it all started. See, Horemheb and I were fighting in my tomb. And then we killed each other. And then the gods brought us back to life and placed a curse on us.” I remembered the black mist swirling around back in the tomb. The curse had stayed hidden fo
r thousands of years, but with revenge so close at hand, it had resurfaced.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “I wish,” I said. “It first showed up when my tomb was opened, back in 1922. And then, ever since that obelisk exploded, it’s been attacking the world. But I never thought it would have this much power.”

  “So how do you stop it?” Henry jumped out of the way as a couple of bugs scampered around his feet.

  I pressed my fists to my forehead. How could I stop it? The curse was a thing of the gods. Started by them, not by me. I was as much a victim as anyone else.

  “I don’t know. But I need to figure it out. And it’s probably safest for you to stay far away.”

  “But…”

  “Trust me on this one,” I said. “I’ll take care of it.” And then I left before Henry could argue. I skipped out of school. With the gym closed and the reported fifty kids and teachers out sick, no one was keeping track of absences.

  I wasn’t two steps outside the front door of the school when someone accosted me.

  “Tutankhamun.”

  I stiffened at the sound of my full name, and goose bumps exploded on my arms. I couldn’t place him at first, but then I remembered. It was the museum tour guide, complete with his white robes, flaming red hair, and freaky yellow eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be back at the museum?”

  “I came to see you, Tutankhamun,” the guy said.

  Kick up the creep factor. This guy was nuts. Or …

  “You’re part of the Cult of Set!” I said. There were only two other people I’d seen with hair that red: Seth Cooper and the snake-pizza delivery guy.

  “Of course, Pharaoh,” the museum tour guide said.

  I glanced around, but nobody was nearby to hear the word pharaoh.

  “Who are you?” I demanded. “What do you want?”

  “I’m Seti 142-A,” he said. “One hundred and forty second chief of the Cult of Set, and the first of three brothers.”

  “Let me guess,” I said. “You’re related to Seth Cooper.”

  The look of pride that had crossed his face dimmed at the mention of Seth. “My brother, Seti 142-C.”

  “You guys delivered asps to my town house,” I said.

  “Why yes, Denounced One,” Seti 142-A said.

  I frowned at the use of the word denounced.

  “I must say, we never expected you to use the Book of the Dead,” Seti 142-A went on.

  “What did you expect me to do?” I asked. “Die?”

  “Of course not,” Seti 142-A said. “We expected the snakes to weaken you.”

  I shifted my gaze, looking for the best escape. “Why were you trying to weaken me?”

  Seti 142-A bowed, like talking to me was some great honor. “I’m sure I could explain everything if you would just come with me.”

  “I don’t think so,” I said. There was no way this guy was on the level.

  Seti 142-A smiled, but it didn’t come close to reaching his eyes. “But you must, O Heretical One. Great Set so commanded it.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Great Set?”

  “The greatest of the Egyptian gods,” Seti 142-A said.

  “Set is hardly the greatest of the Egyptian gods, and I’m not going anywhere with you,” I said, using my pharaoh voice again.

  Seti 142-A put a hand over his chest. “I am but a servant of Set.”

  I took a step closer to him. “I don’t care if you’re a servant of Ra himself. Leave me alone.”

  “Great Set is all knowledgeable; I live to follow his orders.”

  I almost choked at that. The idea of having to bow down to a god as horrible as Set made my stomach turn.

  “And how about Horemheb? Do you follow his orders, too? Because I have a message you can take back to Horemheb. Tell him I’m coming for him. Tell him I’m going to make him pay for everything he’s done to me. Tell him…”

  My voice trailed off when I saw Seth, aka Seti 142-C, advancing on me. He buffed up with each step he took and flexed his fingers like he was going to take me down.

  “Yes, O Heretical One?” Seti 142-A said. “You were saying…?”

  “You’re trying to stall me,” I said at the same time a hand clamped down on my shoulder.

  I whipped around to see the pizza delivery guy, who must be Seti 142-B. He lunged for me and I jumped backward, knocking Set 142-A to the ground. And then I took off.

  They followed.

  I ran through the streets of D.C., cutting corners and dashing in front of cars. I ducked into alleyways and hopped fences. But every time I looked back, one of the redheaded Seti brothers was still following.

  I had to ditch them and get back to the safety of my town house, if it was really safe anymore. Horus had safety spells around it. He would have strengthened them after last night’s snake incident.

  I doubled my speed, tore down a metro escalator, ran through the station, and came up on the other side. Dashing behind a delivery truck, I scanned the area.

  I’d lost them.

  But that didn’t stop me from running the rest of the way home.

  No sooner had I rounded the corner when I spotted the red van parked out front. Seth opened the passenger door as I came barreling past. I jumped from the ground, vaulted over the van, stomping on the top, and landed on the other side. Then I ran inside my town house and slammed the door.

  * * *

  “Bad day?” Horus asked.

  I stood there with my back pressed to the door, panting. “Not at all. What would give you that idea?”

  Horus pounced on a passing beetle. “The torn clothes. The grease smears. The way you’re panting like a rhinoceros giving birth.”

  That would explain why ten shabtis hovered around me, spraying things at me and picking at my clothes and hair. I waved the air in front of me to get rid of the smell and hurried to the family room. I’d had to explain multiple times to the shabtis that incense-scented perfume spray isn’t cool at all when you’re an eighth-grade boy, no matter what century it is.

  “Just another day in paradise,” I said. “Could you get me a water?” I asked Lieutenant Virgil. There was no sign of Colonel Cody. I guess he and his squad hadn’t made it back from trailing Gil.

  “Anything to prove my worth, O Great Lord,” Lieutenant Virgil said. “Your commands are what we live for.”

  “Doesn’t that ever get old, Tut?” Horus said.

  Lieutenant Virgil ran off and returned with the water.

  “Never,” I said. “And anyway, I would hate to disappoint them by not letting them wait on me.”

  Just then the vent opened and five shabtis, including Colonel Cody, climbed through.

  “We have failed you, most benevolent Pharaoh,” Colonel Cody said. “I shall take my life and the lives of my companions if you speak it.” He climbed to the top of the coffee table, preparing to jump on the wooden floor below. I wasn’t sure if his granite form would really shatter if it hit the ground. This had to be the five hundredth time he’d threatened to end his existence, but I’d always stopped him.

  “No! Wait!” I said. “How have you failed?”

  Colonel Cody stopped with his feet millimeters from the table’s edge. “The heathen spotted us.”

  “Gil’s not a heathen. I’ve told you that, like, a thousand times before,” I said, even as my heart sank. If Gil had spotted the shabtis, then he’d know I was looking for the knife.

  “You had the shabtis trailing Gil?” Horus had lost complete interest in the beetle he was chewing and had his one eye focused on me.

  “Where did he go?” I asked, ignoring Horus’s glare.

  Colonel Cody bowed. “We began following the heathen lord, but he spotted us early on. I believe he led us in circles before we figured it out. We trailed him across the Potomac, through the waste water treatment plant, through the gutters and bowels of the District. It was only by the third day that it occurred to us that he ma
y be duping us.”

  “So what did you do?”

  Here’s where Colonel Cody smiled. “We feigned disinterest. We left the heathen. Or so it seemed to him. And then, only when we were sure he was no longer looking for us did we trail him again, this time to Oak Hill Cemetery.”

  “Great!”

  Shame covered Colonel Cody’s face. “But then he spotted us again. We tried to stay hidden, Great Master. But we have failed. For this we shall end our existence.”

  Horus flicked his tail, maybe to give them permission to go ahead with it, but I put up my hand.

  “That’s not necessary,” I said. This was really going to happen. Gil had to be checking on the knife. So what if he knew I was looking for it? I could work with that. Maybe even use it to my advantage.

  The shabtis fell to their knees and began to cry. “Our lord is so forgiving and gracious.”

  I tried to put on my most benevolent smile and gloated in my moment of patronage. “Did you see the knife?”

  “Not precisely,” Colonel Cody said.

  “What’s that supposed to mean? Did you or didn’t you?” I tried not to sound too harsh. I didn’t need Colonel Cody offering up his death as the cost of failure again.

  Too late. The shabti facepalmed. “He was consulting a map when we were spotted. And once he saw us, he ran off.”

  “But you can take me back to where he was?” I said.

  “It will be as you wish, Great Master,” Colonel Cody said.

  “Not so fast,” Horus said. “Today’s my day to leave.”

  “Leave? What are you talking about?”

  “It’s the new moon,” Horus said.

  Drat. Horus and his new moon curse.

  “I’m going tonight,” I said.

  “Wait a couple days,” Horus said. “I’ll go with you.”

  “I’m not waiting.”

  “Very smart decision, Great Master,” Colonel Cody said. “We don’t want the heathen to move the knife.”

  “He won’t move it,” Horus said. “Just wait.” And then he hissed at me, as if to drive his point home. I had to sit on my hands to keep from instinctively covering my eyes. Stupid new moon and Horus going blind. It must already be happening.