As the night went on, I continued to drink until I was going to pass out. Cory looked over at me with worry, but I gave him a reassuring smile. If there’s one thing I mastered over the years, it is my tolerance for alcohol.
I noticed that Kat was screaming for AB to give her some attention, but he seemed to be a little preoccupied with a few of the bar maids that came to the party.
As the night went on, our party mood started to fade. Marie mentioned to some of the guys from the band what we were doing before they showed up.
“Can you two lovely ladies sing?” one of the older guys that played the drums asked.
“Oh yeah, they can,” Marie told them.
“Well hell, why don’t you sing something for us?” he asked.
“I would love to hear you beautiful women sing us a song.”
A couple of the guys around us started clapping, and I pushed Kat up to the front.
“I don’t know what to sing.”
She looked out onto the crowd and saw AB still talking to a couple of women in the back of the room. She narrowed her eyes.
“Now I know what to sing.”
Cory was playing slow mellow songs at this point, so it didn’t matter if he played the song through a CD or if it was sung live. She whispered her song selection, and he smiled and shook his head.
I reached for the mic and said into it, “The birthday girl here wants to sing a song for the guests that came to party with us.”
The guys that were next to us clapped, while the music started. I smiled when I heard the beat, because I knew someone was in trouble tonight. The song was Tamia’s Stranger in My House. It talks about a woman who feels as though her man has become a stranger to her. He doesn’t feel the same as he used to, but he won’t tell her that he’s changed. But in the song she contemplates that maybe it’s her wanting more, and he’s the one that hasn’t changed at all.
Tiffany has an amazing voice. Her range can go close to a first soprano and close to a second alto. When we sing together, she usually takes the higher notes. She’s an amazing singer that sings with so much passion, so when she started to sing everyone took notice.
I swear the way she sang this song sounded close to the original, but had a taste of Kat all in it. When she ended the song, everyone stood and applauded. I looked back and seemed to have seen more people standing in the room than what we had before. AB looked angry, but I saw Mason lean into him to say something that relaxed his face ever so slightly.
“… And now we’ll have the final song done by Maxine Shaw.”
I whipped my head around and frowned.
“Oh no, I’m done singing,” I told her.
“Nope, you’re not. It’s my birthday officially now, and you owe me a song. Let’s go hop to it.”
The guys from the band were chanting my name, with help from Kat. I groaned and rose from my seat.
“Sing my favorite please?”
“Oh, come on. Kat, no.”
I looked around the room, and my eyes landed on a curious Mason.
“Yes. Please? It was my mom’s favorite. Can you do it in memory of her?”
I closed my eyes and nodded. Kat hugged me fiercely, and she announced.
“Most of you know Monkey and I are very close. We grew up together. To entertain my mom, sometimes we would sing songs to her. One of my mom’s favorite songs for Monkey to sing was I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston.”
I stood there feeling a little exposed. I’ve never been nervous to sing. It’s usually the opposite. I feel confident and at peace. What’s unnerving me is the set of piercing blue eyes that feel like they are breaking me down. I know this song I’m about to sing is going to be something else entirely. I start off soft, and I look around the room. I feel my body getting into character as I sing. I’m becoming one with the music and one with the lyrics. They speak to two parts of my life. One is the life I should have with Cory. But the second is the life I’ve had with Mason and so desperately want to have again…but can’t.
When I get to the famous chord of the song to bring in the chorus, I’m completely enthralled in the music and my performance. I don’t see anyone in front of me but Mason. I’m singing to him without even realizing that I am. I can’t move my eyes from his. He’s leaning back in his chair with his arm around Diane, which fuels me even more to express my feelings through this song.
When the music stopped, I felt so much energy surging through my body. I couldn’t contain it. I noticed everyone was standing, except Mason. He just watched me with a blank expression that I couldn’t read. Kat broke my trance by hugging me. She had tears in her eyes, and I knew they were tears for her mom.
She whispered, “Thank you.”
I nodded and kissed her cheek.
“Okay, that was fucking sick. I tell you that if you don’t sign a contract with someone, you’re doing this world a disservice,” Danny, the lead singer from the band, remarked.
Everyone around me congratulated me—telling me how I need to sing and how rare my gift was—but I was only partly listening. I needed some air.
I went over to Cory and whispered, “I need you to wrap this party up and meet me in the room. You and I really need to talk.”
I gave him a reassuring look. Watching the lack of reaction to my song in Mason’s eyes, the way he was touching Diane tonight, I know what I’m doing and feeling is wrong. I have a great man in my life that wants to be with me. He knows all my faults and flaws, and he still wants me. That is saying something, in my opinion.
Cory smiled brightly and said in the mic, “Well, cousin, I hope you had a great birthday party. But we have to say ‘goodnight.’”
I looked at Kat, and we had unspoken communication between each other. She knew I needed to leave this room, and she nodded and smiled. Leaving the room took a while, though. There were more people in this room, mainly hotel workers, telling me how beautiful I sounded and looked. Hell, I think someone slipped me their room key.
Marie and Marcus each hugged me before I left and escaped to my room. I couldn’t get out of this dress fast enough. I settled on a pair of cotton shorts and an oversize sweatshirt that hung off my shoulders and didn’t reach but to the middle of my waist.
I paced around in the room, trying to decide how I’m going to approach this with Cory. I purposefully didn’t have on any underclothes. That should make this easier. I just take off the shirt when he gets in here, and he should be able to take it from there, right? Maybe if I give myself to him finally, I can let Mason go. There was a knock on my door. So without thinking I quickly opened it, and found Marcus standing in front of me. He seemed to have on a different jacket than before, but I couldn’t quite understand why.
“What?” I said bluntly.
“Max, we need to talk.”
He walked inside my room, and I looked at him. I watched his eyes, and I couldn’t read anything in his eyes, which reminded me of his brother.
I lost it. “What else does he want from me? Does he want me to apologize for that song, because I can’t. God, just tell him I get it. Okay? I finally accept that he doesn’t want me. I’m not good enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not sexy enough. I’m not rich enough for him. I understand all of that now, okay? I know I’ll never be good enough for him, Marcus. I get it. You don’t have to tell me anything. He doesn’t have to use you to shatter me, because he can do it himself.”
I stopped talking abruptly, as I saw the shock in Marcus’ face. I realized I was pacing, and I felt wetness on my cheeks. Now look what I’ve done. Marcus was about to say something, but I backed away from him and left my own room. I just ran out of there, took the side door down the hall, and ran outside.
The shame I felt was too overwhelming. I couldn’t handle it anymore. Now I have made a complete fool of myself in front of both brothers. This is fucking fantastic.
Chapter 20
Mason
I couldn’t move. Watching Maxine all night with those band memb
ers from the other night had me really pissed off. I mean the flirting that was going on was unfucking bearable. I could barely take Cory, but now these fucking schmucks touching her, smiling at her, and dancing with her was too much for me to bear. Now she stood up there and bared her soul to me. I felt like the biggest fucking idiot known to man. I didn’t feel I deserved her before, and now I really don’t think I do.
She is so amazing and beautiful and sexy as hell…and I broke her. I left her hanging without even the decency of telling her it was over to her face. Out of all the mistakes and losses I had in my life, losing her was the worst of them all. I miss her so damn much, and I’m still completely in love with her. I knew that the moment I saw her come to the table a few days ago. I knew it the moment she was leaving to go home, and we had it out in the parking lot. I knew it the moment when I touched her for the first time in years.
‘What the hell am I doing?’
When everyone clapped and stood, I couldn’t move. I wanted to. Hell, I wanted to go to her and kiss her, claiming once again what’s mine. But I couldn’t move. She stunned me, humbled me, and claimed me all over again…and I couldn’t fucking move.
As she left the room, I finally found my chest moving. I was breathing again. I looked over at Diane, who was studying me closely. I smiled as best as I could and asked her if she’s ready to go. She nodded, and I told her to give me a minute. Marc and I both stood and headed out of the room to put Marc’s disguise plan into action. Earlier in the day, I got my hair cut to match my brother and made sure we had shaved completely. We typically don’t do much when we do this. We combed our hair the same way, and Marcus borrowed AB’s jacket that matched mine. We wore the same shirt, but with the intent of making this switch. Max was right. We do look slightly different, but you would really have to know us to see the difference. When we headed back to our table, Diane was the only one sitting there.
I watched Marc approach and he asked, “Where did Marie go?”
She looked up at him and smiled. Then she looked at me.
“Oh, she went to the room.”
I just looked at her. Could she really not tell us apart? We left the room together, and headed toward our hotel room.
I was on the second floor, so I said to my brother, “Hey, Mason, I’m going to check on my beautiful wife, see if she needs me to tuck her in. Then come back to help Cory. It might take a while though, so you might want to start helping Cory when you get there.” I smiled devilishly at him.
I give credit to my brother; I didn’t see him flinch, even though I know he wanted to cuss me out for talking about his wife.
“That’s fine with me, bro. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” he told me.
I turned and backed away, still facing him and Diane.
I said, “Well, I should be about thirty… No, make that forty-five minutes.”
I turned away from him and smiled. He was going to whip my ass later, I knew. I laughed at the thought. When I reached my brother’s room, I hoped Marie was dressed. If she wasn’t, it would really be awkward. When I opened the door, I was glad to see she still had her dress on. She walked toward me and smiled.
“Really? So this is how he wants to play it?”
I feigned confusion.
“What do you mean?”
She sighed.
“Very well then, Mason. Can you help me with my zipper?”
“Now hold on here. You mean to tell me you think I’m Mason? All the years we’ve been together, you mean to tell me you can’t tell the difference between me and my brother?”
I helped her with her zipper, and she turned back to face me.
“Please, I knew you were Mason the moment you walked in the door. Now stop being an idiot and tell me where my husband is.”
I grinned at her.
“Well, he’s escorting Diane to our hotel room.”
I walked past her to their refrigerator and helped myself to a bottle of water.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Nope, now go put something decent on before my brother really kills me.”
Ten minutes later, she was back wearing a pair of shorts and t-shirt. She sat next to me.
“So, Diane couldn’t tell you two apart?”
“Apparently not. At least not while I was around. I’m not sure if she figured it out once he got her to the room or not. But the way she was looking up at him told me she hadn’t a clue.” I turned my body to face her. “How did you know so fast?”
She shrugged.
“Mason, let me be blunt, okay? It is very hard to tell you two apart. You two are spitting images of each other. But if a person really cares about the two of you, they can tell the small differences in the way you two walk, talk, smile, the look in each of your eyes. I mean, I feel protected with the both of you. But with you, it’s more like brotherly protection. I can see that you love me and care about me. There’s no question about that. But that’s it. With Marc, I can see and feel how much he loves me. I get excited and nervous at the same time when he’s next to me. There’s no mistaking the charge I feel from being with him, and I don’t feel that with you. Now, I don’t know how AB can tell, but that’s how I can.”
She touched my leg.
“I’m sorry Diane can’t. Maybe she just needs more time.”
I didn’t reply. Diane has known me longer than Marie has. But even putting aside the time frame, Max picked me out of a picture when we first me. When I show that photo to everyone else I know, they can’t tell the difference. But she could. I wondered if I affected her the same way Marie was affected by my brother. Once I thought it, I knew the answer instantly, and it was like another punch to my gut.
Marie and I talked a little bit more about my nieces and nephew, when my brother knocked on the door. I went to answer it, and he looked strangely at me.
“What? Did Diane hit on you, or something?” I asked, trying to figure out what had him so upset.
“Nah, that’s a hopeless cause. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or not, but she thought I was you all the way. She said she’d be waiting up for you and to not be too long.”
I nodded.
“Okay, so what’s up? Why are you looking at me like I’ve done some egregious act or something?”
“Well, since I knew Diane couldn’t recognize me, I went to see Max.”
I stood up straighter. “And?”
He shook his head. “And I know I said this before, but you’ve really fucked up big time, bro. I mean really screwed up. You need to go find her.”
I walked toward him.
“What did you say to her?”
He put his hands up in surrender.
“Hey, don’t be pissed at me. I didn’t do or say shit. This is all you, man. She didn’t let me say a word. She just went off, thinking I was there to give her a message from you again; just like I did with the letter.”
I was stunned. I asked, even though I knew the answer, “She knew it was you?”
“Yes, she knew as soon as I walked in the door.”
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I said, “Where is she?”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know. She headed toward the beach. Man, I bought you some time with Diane; you need to do something to make this right.”
I nodded and left their room as quickly as I could. I didn’t know what I would say to her. I just hoped it would come to me when I saw her. I made my way out of the back of the hotel and walked down the wooden walkway to the beach. I looked around at first and finally spotted her down by the water. I trekked to her, not caring about the sand that was getting in my shoes. When I finally got to solid sand, she turned as if she knew I was going to be there.
I saw the tears in her eyes, and I instantly felt the ice around my heart melt. I got to her as quickly as I could and wrapped my left arm around her. My right arm went instinctively into her hair, and I tilted her face up as I devoured her in the most desperate kiss I have ever felt.
She was stunned but only briefly, as I felt her hands go in my hair. Damn, tasting her again has fueled the fire in me. It’s coursing through my body like the most potent drug known. I wanted more. I needed to feel her. I traveled my left hand down to her butt and pulled her closer to me, without breaking this kiss. I then took my hand over her beautiful ass and went under her shorts and felt her bare ass. I deepened our kiss even more. Damn it, my dick felt like it was going to explode from the pressure.
I had to calm down, or I would take her right here on this beach without a care in the world. I pulled back slightly, but rested my forehead on hers. I caressed her hips and arms, trying to get my heart rate lowered. I finally found my voice, and I said her name. I felt her head shake, and she tried to move away from me, but I didn’t let her go.
“Tell me you still love me,” I whispered, taking a hell of a risk.
But I didn’t know what else to say. Damn, I wanted her to say yes to me. But she shook her head. “Please, Mason. I can’t do this. I can’t.”
“Allura…”
I tried to not let her go, but she pushed away from me. I heard and felt her starting to get upset again. The last thing I want to do is hurt her again. So I had to put away my selfishness and let her go.
“Look at me?” I asked her, but she didn’t.
She shook her head and mouthed, “I can’t,” and walked back toward the hotel. I watched her walk away, and it was that moment that I knew that I never wanted to see her walk away from me again.
Damn it, I shouldn’t have kissed her. I wasn’t sure what came over me. For the life of me, I couldn’t control it even if I did know. Just seeing the tears in her eyes made me feel like shit. All I wanted to do was make her pain go away. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I still taste her on my lips…on my tongue. Her scent is all through me.
I shook my head. She felt so good. Fuck it. I need to feel her again. I have to know if what I felt from her was real. I turned and headed back to find her. I didn’t think about finding out that she wasn’t alone. I didn’t care about anything but finding her. When I got to her room, I knocked quickly. When she opened the door, I simply walked inside and closed the door behind me.
Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male: BWWM Romance Page 30
