“Azurha, answer me!”
Laughter bubbled forth from her mouth. He was here. He hadn’t been killed. She bolted up and threw her arms around him.
He barely managed to absorb the impact of her embrace and not end up sprawling on the floor next to her. A look of shock crossed his features, and few seconds passed before his arms tightened around her. “Thank the gods you’re safe. I walked in and saw you down and not moving—”
She silenced him with a kiss. All the wine in the empire couldn’t cause the head-rush his lips did. Fire spread through her limbs. She didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to feel his body next to hers, to watch the delight in his face as he made love to her.
Titus broke off the kiss and stroked her cheek. “Eager to see me?”
The arrogant tone of his voice irked her, and she released him. “I should be furious. Why did you knock me out and send me here?”
“First off, I didn’t mean to knock you out. It was an accident. My magic… slipped.”
“Slipped?” She jumped to her feet and towered over him. “Is that what you call it? You were trying to manipulate my mind.”
He wasted no time using his few extra inches of height to his advantage. “I was trying to calm you down.”
“No, you were looking for an easy way to silence me.”
Titus opened his mouth to say something, but Modius spoke before he did. “Perhaps I should return later to see if you need anything else.”
“Thank you,” they both replied.
For a moment, neither one of them spoke. Their chests rose and fell in unison, and Azurha was pretty certain her face appeared as flushed as Titus’s. By the gods, he was stubborn, perhaps more than her. But did that excuse his actions?
He was the first one to back away. The anger visibly evaporated from his face, and his hands unclenched. “I understand that you’re upset because I used my magic on you and sent you away without telling you what I was doing, but please believe me when I say it was for your own good.”
“Perhaps it’s your overly noble Deizian brain thinking for you, but I don’t need your protection, Titus. I managed just fine on my own before I met you.” She picked up the goddess figurine and placed it back in its shrine.
“So let’s talk about what you did from the time you were freed until you met me.”
She froze. She wasn’t ready to have this conversation with him. She doubted she ever could. Was there a way to casually inform him that she spent seven years killing people for money?
“More silence.” He sighed and crossed the room. “What are you hiding from me?”
“Does it matter?”
“Obviously it does, or you wouldn’t be keeping it from me.” He sank onto the sofa and rubbed his face. “I understand you’ve had a painful past—”
“Don’t begin to think you have any idea what I’ve suffered, Emperor Sergius. You’ve never so much suffered a scratch. You barely know how to handle a blade. Instead of learning to be a warrior, you buried your nose in a book.”
“Damn it, Azurha, I will not be insulted like this.”
“I know, I know, you’re the emperor.” She rolled her eyes and strolled to the balcony. “Why don’t you just punish me and order my head on a platter?”
He cursed under his breath and followed her outside. The sky still glowed turquoise from the last of the day’s light, and the distant supernova that danced across the sky each night peeked over the horizon. A stiff sea breeze ruffled his hair. He leaned on the railing and stared toward the horizon. His voice barely rose above the crashing of the waves when he said at last, “Let’s start over and see if we can have a conversation without yelling at each other.”
“Fine.” She tucked her hair behind her ear to keep it from whipping her face further. “Where do you want to begin?”
“Where we left off?”
She nodded and watched him out of the corner of her eye, waiting for him to speak first. He looked like he’d aged a decade in the last few days. Dark circles lined his eyes. New creases marred his forehead. Her heart ached for him, and she wondered how much his transformation was due to her. “I’m sorry if I made you worry about me. You shouldn’t have.”
He jerked in surprise and turned to her. “Why do you say that?”
“Because someone like you shouldn’t worry so much about someone like me, Titus. I’m just an—”
“Quit with the pitiful ‘I’m just an Alpirion’ routine. The well-being of every citizen of the empire is my concern. But you’re more than just an Alpirion to me, Azurha. I…”
The words seemed to strangle him, much to her relief. She didn’t need to hear that he loved her. Somewhere deep inside, she already knew it, and the idea was more painful than a thousand burning splinters studding her flesh.
She stared at her bracelets, seeing the scars left by her past even though the metal cuffs concealed them. “Why did you come tonight?”
“The truth?”
“I can handle it. You do not have to spare my feelings.”
He gently brushed her hair back from her face and let his fingers trail down her jaw and neck until they rested on her collarbone. “I missed you.”
She studied his face, looking for any signs of a lie, but saw only loneliness and an emotion she feared more than death. How did things end up this way? This was supposed to be her last job, the ultimate kill. The one assignment that would load her coffers so she could retire and try to live a normal life while ensuring her legendary status as an assassin. Instead, she hesitated in a moment of weakness.
She shrugged his hand away. “You’d be better off without me.”
“I disagree.”
“What do I have to do to convince you otherwise? Do I need to tell you every sordid detail of my past?”
He took her hands in his and closed the space between them. His gaze never wavered, his expression solemn but determined. “That would be a start, but only because I want to know you better.”
Her eyes stung. He was being calm, so tender, that it made her want to forget her past and make a new future with him, as delusional as that sounded. If she had to make him hate her, she would. “Perhaps it would be better if I show you.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed a few times from the coldness of her words. “If you think you need to.”
“You’re not scared, are you?”
A few more bobs. He licked his lips. “Should I be?”
Indecision paralyzed her. She could hurt him. She could even kill him and end her misery. But could she really do that to him?
Tears burned her eyes as she remembered the sting of a whip across her own back years ago, of the humiliation from being left bound for days. Her body rebelled against her, and a sob rose in her throat. No, she couldn’t. Nor was she able to tell him about the day she gained her freedom by spilling her master’s blood, about the blood she had continued to spill in the years that followed. She was trapped by her deeds and saw no chance at ever becoming free of them.
…
Titus waited patiently for her to open up to him, to tell him about the memories that so painfully played out across her face.
She turned away from him, her breath coming quick, unable to meet his eyes. “I can’t, Titus.”
“I can be patient.” He carried her into the bedroom, holding her in his arms until her breathing slowed.
Ever since Lucia’s death, he’d buried himself in his books, in his plans for the empire. He cut himself off from other women, afraid he’d drive them to their deaths like he had her. But when it came to Azurha, he’d found a partner who completed him, who filled the voids and made him stronger in the process. Her wounds went deeper than he first imagined, deeper than his own, and it would take more than magic to heal them. It would take love.
He no longer feared those words. “I love you, Azurha.”
She shivered against him and dug her fingers into his shoulders. Several minutes passed before she lifted her head from his chest. “You s
houldn’t have said that,” she said in a quiet voice.
Titus cupped her cheeks in his hands. “I meant it, Azurha. I’ve been needing to tell you for days.”
She pushed him away and curled up into a ball beside him. “You shouldn’t love someone like me.”
A chill drifted across his skin, and he pulled the sheet over them, despite the warm ocean breeze. He cradled her body against his, savoring the heat that radiated from her skin. “Why not? You’re strong. You’re compassionate. You have more fire burning inside your soul than any person I’ve ever met. You humble me, amaze me, inspire me. I’ve never felt anything this strong for anyone before.”
She rolled further away from him, keeping her back to him. “But you know nothing about me.”
“What are you hiding that you feel you can’t share with me? Don’t you know by now that you can’t shake my love for you?”
“You’re wrong.” She sat up and released the clasp on one of the thick, gold cuffs that circled her wrists. The metal fell away, revealing the twisted scars underneath.
Titus drew in a deep breath and traced the gnarled ridge of flesh. “Tell me what happened.”
“One morning after I’d been bound for three days, another slave helped me cut the ropes. I was almost free when my master awoke.” Her voice caught, and another shiver rolled through her body. She lowered her eyes, refusing to look at him. “I couldn’t take it anymore—the cruelty, the humiliation, the torture. I slit his throat and ran away.”
Her confession hit him like a punch to his gut, forcing the air from his lungs. Marcus and Varro had been right. The woman he loved was a murderer.
And yet, as his gaze travelled from her scarred wrist to the unshed tears that glistened in the corners of her eyes, his shock faded. A protective urge flowed through his veins, and he pulled her into his arms as if he could somehow shield her from the pain of her past, even though he knew it was far too late to change it. Not even the healing powers of his magic could erase her scars. “I’m so sorry you had to experience that.”
She writhed against him, trying to break his embrace, but he held on to her. “Didn’t you hear me? I killed my master. Murdered him in cold blood and watched the life fade from his eyes.”
“And he deserved it.”
“Don’t be a fool, Titus.” She balled her hands into fists and began beating his chest. “I know the law. Slaves who murder their masters are executed immediately.”
He caught her arms and pressed her scarred wrist to his lips. “If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him myself.” He tilted her face up to his. “This doesn’t change my feelings for you.”
“You shouldn’t throw away your crown for someone used and broken like me.”
“But you’re the only woman I want.” He kissed her gently, holding back until he felt her resistance crumble. Then he deepened the kiss. He wished there was some way to convey the intensity of his emotions through something so simple, to convince her there was nothing that could shake his love for her. At last, she yielded and returned his ardor.
The embers of desire revived with each flick of her tongue, each caress. He lowered her to the mattress. “Let me make love to you, and don’t close your eyes while I do it.”
She nodded and pulled him back into her arms. Her hips rose to accept him, her sex so warm, so slick, so inviting. He slid his cock into her, sighing in pleasure. This was the meaning of bliss. Together, they moved as one, their gazes locked. The intimacy of their joining left no room for lies and deception. They were stripped bare on every level. He watched the storm of emotions swirl in her bright teal eyes—passion, pleasure, fear. The same emotions that warred deep within him.
Finally, her lips curled up into a shy smile, and he found what he sought. He saw the love shining from her eyes seconds before her body tensed under his. He allowed himself to tumble into the pleasure of his climax with her, never breaking eye contact. This time, the orgasm surpassed bodily pleasure. His soul hummed with knowing he’d found the one person he could love beyond this life, the one person who completed him in every possible way.
Azurha stroked his cheek, a smile still adorning her full lips. A trickle of her wild magic danced across his skin. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Promise you’ll stay with me?”
Her smile faded, and she closed her eyes. “You’re a dreamer, Titus.”
“And I intend to make this dream a reality.”
20
Azurha untangled her body from Titus’s arms, taking care not to wake him. The low hum of an airship outside cruelly reminded her that everything was coming to an end. For three days, they had enjoyed the seclusion the seaside palace offered them. Here, they were no longer an emperor and a former slave. They were just a man and a woman free to indulge in their every desire.
And indulge they did. He had surprised her by agreeing to play the role of her personal slave. She discovered that she liked telling him what she wanted, what she needed from him as a lover, as much as he did. It had severed the last ties that bound her to her past. She was no longer a slave, and she no longer had to submit to the will of others.
Now if only she could find the courage to tell him the rest of her secrets. So many times, the words sat poised on the tip of her tongue, ready to rush free in a tearful confession, but she still feared his reaction. He deserved to know that she’d been sent to kill him. He needed to know that Pontus wanted to usurp his crown if he wished to stop the rebellion brewing beneath him. And yet, if she told him, she wouldn’t be there to protect him when the next assassin moved in to take her place. She’d give her life to defend his, but it meant keeping her secrets with her until she’d destroyed the threat.
No wonder Cassius had always warned her not to get too close to her targets. She was becoming further ensnared in this tangled web of deceit with every touch, every kiss, every lover’s caress.
She pulled her dress over her head and peered out of a window. The airship that would take them back to Emona shimmied into place at the dock, and her chest tightened. Everything had been perfect here, but now perfect had to come to an end.
A yowl pulled her from her moping, and the lyger cub wound its way through her legs. She picked it up, cradling it in her arms like a small child. “I bet you don’t want to go back either,” she said as she tickled his stomach. “As soon as we board the ship, it’s back in the cage for you.”
“You treat him like you would a child.”
Azurha jumped at the sound and turned to find Titus lounging in the bed, watching her with a sleepy smile on his face. “He’s the closest thing to a child that I’ll ever have. People like me aren’t meant to mother babes—just beasts.”
“Nonsense. I think you would make an excellent mother. You can be very strict when needed, but underneath it all, you have a soft heart.”
The dreamy glaze in his eyes as he spoke made her pulse quicken. The last thing she needed was him wanting to sire children through her, and she silently cursed her moment of weakness the other night. If she’d never let her tears fall, he’d probably believe she was a cold-hearted killer, which wasn’t too far from the truth. “I only have a soft heart when it comes to you, Titus.”
“I don’t believe you.” He rose from the bed, not bothering to cover his naked body, and approached her. “I’ve seen the way you coddle this creature.”
He reached out to pet the lyger’s head, but the cub growled at him. Obviously, she wasn’t the only one feeling prickly at the thought of returning to the Imperial City this morning. She released the lyger cub and went out on the balcony, hoping the distance from Titus would prevent him from infecting her with his delusions of starting a family. A cool breeze stirred the salty air, sprinkling her face with mist.
He donned a robe and followed her. “What’s troubling you, Azurha?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his lips against her temple. “Even after your confessi
on the other night, I have the feeling there’s still something you’re not telling me, but I will try to be patient.”
Her deadline to kill him was less than a day away, and she knew from the moment she opened the box with the rabbit’s head in it that Pontus already suspected she’d fail to complete her job. Who else would be trying to kill them? And when? They were safe here, but the moment they returned to Emona, her mind would be seeing blades around every corner. “I’m worried about you,” she said at last, never settling comfortably into his arms like she normally would.
“Why?”
“Your coronation is in two days.”
“Ah yes, accompanied by the endless stream of parties held in my honor to celebrate it. Thankfully, I’ll have you by my side to make them bearable.” He kissed her cheek and tightened his arms around her waist.
“You should be careful at these events. You never know who’s hiding in the shadows.”
“Yes, the murder at Rutilius’s party was a bit concerning. Captain Galerius has promised to make sure we have members of the Legion patrolling the events to make sure we’re safe.”
And what if the danger is standing right in front of you? She turned to face him. “You place quite a bit of confidence in your bodyguards.”
“As I should. They have a long history of protecting the emperor and his family.”
“But I’m not part of your family, Titus. I’m not even a Deizian.”
“You have blue eyes, Azurha.”
“Which only means I’m cursed among my people.”
“And what if they mean you have Deizian blood?”
Her heart hammered. Was it just wishful thinking to believe it could be true? “There’s no way for you to prove it.”
Titus laughed. “So you think.”
“That still doesn’t change the fact that I’m a slave who murdered her master. You should be ordering my execution, not discussing my protection.”
That finally erased his mirth. The corners of his mouth tugged down. “If you ask, I can have you pardoned. No one would blame you for acting the way you did, especially if they knew what that bastard did to you.”
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