by Jo Goodman
Noah's thumbs hooked in the waistband of his breeches. "There's an empty room down the hall," he said, rocking slightly on his heels. "I'm going to spend the night there. I'll be back in the morning before anyone's up. No one will know. Good night, Jessa." At the door he paused. "For what it's worth, I regret what happened tonight. I should have realized you thought I only needed one thing from you."
* * *
Shortly before dawn Noah returned to the bedchamber. He leaned wearily against the door, his face devoid of expression as he stared at the neatly made bed and felt the emptiness of the room.
Jessa was gone.
Chapter 11
Only the clothes Jessa had before their marriage were missing from the wardrobe and highboy. Her traveling cloak was gone. She had left her trunk and taken one of Noah's valises instead. Lord Gilmore's timepiece, the gold fob, rings, and coins from the robbery had also vanished. Noah noticed that his valuables, which had shared the same teakwood case as her booty, were untouched. On a whim he opened the trunk. It was empty, but the cloth lining had been ripped jaggedly across the length of the base. That gave him pause. He could only assume she had always had something hidden under there, something he neglected to find when he unpacked the trunk on the Clarion and discovered the spoils of the robbery lying among her clothes and Gideon's things. Whatever could she possibly own that was so important to her that she kept it secreted away all this time?
Rubbing his forehead with one hand, deep in thought, Noah closed the trunk lid and sat heavily on top of it. He couldn't see that he had any choice but to go after her. How like her to take flight rather than discuss the terms of dissolution of their marriage. Hadn't he made it clear that he intended to provide for Gideon?
Noah splashed water on his face at the basin but did not take the time to shave. He dressed quickly, choosing practical riding clothes and boots, then ran his fingers haphazardly through his hair rather than pause long enough to use a brush. He retied the black grosgrain ribbon at his nape as he strode toward the nursery.
Ruth and Christian were still sleeping and, as he expected, Gideon was no longer there. Noah closed the door quietly then hurried down the hall, taking the stairs to the main floor two and three at a time. He glanced in all the rooms on his way to the rear of the house, just in case Jessa had not left yet. They were empty and silent.
The kitchen, however, was neither.
Noah had forgotten how early the day began at the landing. Robert, Salem, and Jericho were all sitting around the large, scarred oak table drinking coffee while Tildy prepared their breakfast. The kitchen was filled with the aroma of frying bacon and warm loaves of fresh bread.
Tildy saw Noah first. She clicked her tongue and shook her head slowly from side to side, darting him a disapproving glance before she went back to beating eggs. Whatever she muttered under her breath Noah was not meant to hear. It didn't matter. He caught the gist of it anyway.
Salem stopped in midsentence, setting down his mug, when he realized Noah was in the room. "Morning," he said casually, though his eyes had become watchful, even shrewd. "We've been wondering when you would rouse yourself. Or were you out all night? You look like hell."
"How long ago did she leave?" asked Noah without preamble.
Salem's brows drew together thoughtfully. "I'm not certain. Jericho, what time did you say the stable boy woke you?"
"Must have been about three this morning," Jericho said, rubbing his chin. "Not much earlier than that. 'Course that's when he woke me, not when she left. Billy says he spent thirty minutes calling for someone to untie him before he was heard by one of the other grooms and released."
"Untie him?" asked Noah disbelievingly. He spun a chair away from the table and straddled it, sitting down slowly. Tildy set a mug of steaming coffee in front of him. Hard. "Jessa tied Billy? Big Billy?"
Robert watched his son out of the corner of his eye. "It seems Billy did most of the work."
"But how? He'd make three of Jessa."
"Billy's a trifle slow-witted," Robert said calmly, "but he understands what to do when a pistol's pointed at him."
"A pistol?" Noah rubbed his brows with his thumb and forefinger. "Jesus, that must be what she had under the lining of the trunk. A damn pistol. How did I miss it?" He dropped his hand, resting it on one of the rungs of the ladderback chair. It was something of a miracle, he thought distractedly, that she had never turned it on him. "Never mind," he said when he saw their curious expressions. "Why the hell didn't you come and get me when this happened, Jericho?"
"I did. You weren't in your room."
"Dammit! I was only down the hall. Didn't you think to look around a little?"
"No. I woke Robert instead. He reminded me we weren't to interfere. End of story."
"Father! How could you think I wouldn't want to know that Jessa left?"
Robert shrugged carelessly. "It seemed to me, after listening to what Billy told Jericho, that she was quite serious about leaving. And you did give her opportunity. How was I to know you cared one way or the other?"
"Care?" Noah held a tight rein on his temper. His voice grew softer, not louder. "Of course I care! Dammit, I—"
"Yes?"
The stiffness went out of Noah's spine and he closed his eyes briefly. He had almost said the words aloud, almost admitted them to himself. It frightened the hell out of him. If it were true, then he had been deceiving himself, and Noah had not thought himself such a fool as that. No. It couldn't be true... could it? Did he love her? "I don't want anything to happen to her," he said instead. That was certainly the truth. Sighing softly, he reached for his coffee mug, warming his cold hands around it rather than lifting it to drink. "There are things about my marriage to Jessa that... that are rather difficult to explain. More difficult to understand. She hasn't been entirely honest with me, nor have we been honest with you. I can't tell you more than that."
"But you are married," said Salem, confused. "The separate bedchambers... I wondered..."
"We're married." For now.
Tildy set plates heaped with scrambled eggs, bacon, and buttered bread in front of them, clicking her tongue all the while. "Never heard the like before. Separate bedchambers. Humph."
Robert cleared his throat in the charged silence that followed. Noah looked as if he could cheerfully strangle Tildy. "Have you, er, that is, have you consumma—"
"Yes," Noah said. "And I won't welcome any more questions on that score. What I would welcome is some assistance in bringing Jessa back to the landing. Did Billy say which direction she went?"
Salem nodded, biting off the end of a strip of bacon.
"Well?" demanded Noah caustically. "Do I have to pay you for the information?"
Swallowing, Salem pointed his fork at Noah. "Your manner leaves me a trifle raw, Noah. If this is how you speak to Jessa, it's no wonder she thought better of staying with you."
The lines of Noah's face hardened as he glared at his older brother. Jericho stepped into the fray before they came to blows. "Jessa took one of the wagons," he said. "And she's on the road to Richmond. She can't have gone far, not during the night at least, and not with the wagon Billy harnessed for her. It has a rear axle that was in need of repair."
"Wonderful," Noah said, throwing up his hands. "Now you're telling me she's probably had an accident along the road. Jesus!" Noah stood up and shoved his chair back in place. Without another word he stormed out the back door.
Jericho winced as the door was slammed. "Maybe we should go with him," he suggested. "In his mood there's no telling what he'll do to Jessa when he finds her."
"If he wanted us along, he'd have asked," Robert said practically.
Salem stabbed at his eggs. "It's not as if Jessa left here at breakneck speed. Not with that wagon, though why she took it is beyond my reasoning powers. And she's not going to be hurt if the axle breaks. Noah should be happy that he doesn't have to chase her the entire way to Richmond. Damn, but I wish I knew what's gotten into him.
He's acting like a complete idiot."
One corner of Robert's mouth lifted in a wry smile. "I remember another son of mine acting much the same way," he said, pinning Salem with his dark green eyes. "Have twelve years of marriage made you forget what it was like in the beginning?"
Salem's smile was sheepish as he recalled his courtship with Ashley. "Everyone knows I behaved like an ass, not an idiot. There's a difference."
"Of course," Robert said, mildly amused. "Eat up. We have work to do."
Behind them, Tildy continued to make disapproving noises though she hid her laughing eyes from everyone.
The morning was cold and gray. The river road was banked in thick fog that showed no sign of burning off quickly and the grass gleamed wetly with dew. Noah's mount was a skittish chestnut stallion whose restlessness matched Noah's mood perfectly. Noah had a strong desire to have control over something, and the high-strung thoroughbred beneath him proved a worthy opponent in a test of wills.
Noah didn't give the stallion his head until he was sure they had established who was master. Even so, as soon as Noah's thighs relaxed and he kicked the stallion's flanks, General charged forward in a wild gallop that nearly unseated his rider. "Wily beast," Noah swore, pulling up the mount after a quarter mile. "It's her neck I want to break, not my own." General snorted, pranced, and continued down the road at a less dangerous pace once Noah snapped the leather reins.
Noah estimated they had ridden just under ten miles when he sighted the wagon. It was abandoned on the side of the road, resting askew on three wheels. The nag Billy swore he had harnessed for Jessa was nowhere around. Noah shook his head, his eyes bleak as he examined the empty bed of the wagon. How did Jessa hope to manage her journey with a valise, an infant, and a horse with no saddle? Her determination to be gone from him was not to be questioned. Under the circumstances, she was making her very best effort.
"Let's go, General," Noah said, his voice strained and unhappy. "She can't have gone much further."
The gray mist that still cloaked large sections of the road caused Noah to pass directly in front of Jessa's hiding place in the trees. It was Gideon's cry that halted him. Noah jerked General around and made straight for the spot where the wailing had originated and now continued in intermittent, angry bursts. When he saw Jessa crouched in the shelter of some low-hanging boughs, he didn't dismount immediately. Instead, Noah wove General through the trees until he and the horse blocked her best route for escape.
"It would seem that Gideon is not so anxious as you to leave," he said, his expression and tone glacial.
"He's hungry," Jessa said.
"Didn't you bring any food for him?"
She shook her head and raised dull, near colorless eyes to him. "I thought we would be in Richmond before morning. I didn't know it was so far."
"You should have inquired. I could have told you it's forty-five miles. There's also the small matter of crossing the Chickahominy River, but you couldn't have known about that. I imagine you would have found the ferryman eventually."
Jessa huddled closer to the trunk of the tree, sheltering Gideon in the warmth of her cape. He had stopped crying, lulled by the quiet drawl of Noah's voice. He sucked on his thumb and buried his face in the curve of Jessa's breast.
"Where's your horse?" asked Noah, glancing around.
"She ran off."
"Ran? That's doubtful. Billy says he gave you Dorey. She hasn't run in years."
"Well, she gave a very good imitation of it when I released her from the wagon," Jessa said, a little of her spirit returning.
"I see."
Jessa frowned, worrying her lower lip. "I don't understand why you aren't angry."
"Oh, Dorey will come around," Noah said, deliberately misunderstanding her. "She'll find her way back to the landing sooner or later. Where is your valise?"
"I'm sitting on it."
"And your pistol?"
Jessa gave a tiny start of surprise. "In the valise. I suppose the stable boy told you about it."
"Actually, Jericho told me about it. Billy confirmed it when I talked to him before I left. That wasn't very kind of you, Jessa, to involve Billy in your escape."
"Billy just happened to be there. I didn't involve him on purpose. If he hadn't made his presence known and tried to stop me, I wouldn't have done what I did."
"But to hold a pistol on him," Noah said, shaking his head in a disapproving manner. "You didn't make a friend there."
"It wasn't loaded. Do you really think I would point a primed pistol at someone?"
"Jessa," he sighed, "I really don't think I know what you would do." He dismounted in a smooth, fluid motion and hunkered down beside her. "Let me have the valise. I'll fasten it to General's saddle. I'm afraid we'll have to walk back to the landing. General won't carry all of us and I don't think he'll respond very well to having you and Gideon on his back." He reached for Jessa's arm to help her to her feet but she shied away. Noah's hand was suspended for a moment in midair. Slowly he brought it back to rest on his knee. "Let me have Gideon then. You can't possibly carry him all the way."
"We're not going back with you, Noah," Jessa said, her voice barely audible. "You must have realized that. I left the road as soon as I heard the horse coming because I thought it might be you. I didn't want you to find me. If Gideon hadn't cried, you wouldn't have. Leave us alone. We'll make our own way."
"Jessa, even if I didn't give a damn what happens to you, I wouldn't let you take Gideon," he said grimly, straining to keep his voice and temper in check. He was not particularly successful.
"You're not taking him! I won't let you! I didn't come all this way to lose him now!"
"Dammit!" he snapped. "Listen to me. You're both cold, at least one of you is hungry, and this road isn't much safer than the posting road to London. If you haven't any concern for yourself, then for God's sake, think of Gideon! Of all the nod-cocked, scatterbrained notions that you've taken into your head, this one is the worst. I can hardly credit your selfishness."
"My selfishness?"
Noah stood, grasping General's reins as the horse started to meander away. "Yes, by God, your selfishness. That you would risk Gideon's life on this ill-conceived journey simply because you hate me is hardly the act of a loving mother."
"How dare you!" Trembling with cold and rage, Jessa got to her feet and faced him squarely. "How dare you suggest I don't care about Gideon."
"I dare because it's true. You may as well pitch him in the river, because he's not going to survive what passes as your caring for him."
Tears sparkled in Jessa's eyes. Without giving any thought to the consequences she raised her free hand and swung the flat of it against Noah's cheek. Her palm stung, but it was nothing compared to the pain that darkened Noah's eyes. He stared at her for long moments, making no move to retaliate, then, just as she thought he was going to leave her, he dropped General's reins and tore Gideon free of her cradling arm. Stunned by the swiftness of his action, Jessa stumbled backward, grasping at the tree behind her for balance. She cried out as Noah turned on his heel, took up the reins again, and began leading the stallion through the trees to the edge of the road.
Though Noah held the infant gently, Gideon's thumb had been dislodged and he sent up a distressed wail at being so brusquely handled.
Jessa lifted her skirts and ran after Noah. "Let me have my son! You're hurting him!"
Noah stopped long enough to give her the benefit of his icy stare. "As you pointed out earlier, he's hungry. I fully intend to feed him at the landing. You're welcome to come or not. The choice is yours." He continued walking. "I suggest you come. Once I have Gideon home I have every intention of riding back for you. I'll be a damn sight angrier then than I am now."
"Please, don't do this, Noah!" She tugged on the sleeve of his soft leather jacket, her eyes pleading. "Let me have Gideon."
"You're not thinking clearly," he said, shaking her off. "If you intend to come with us, get the valise. I'll wait."<
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Jessa knew he was right. She wasn't thinking clearly. She wasn't thinking at all. Until last night her first concern had always been for Gideon. Somehow, even as she prepared to leave the landing, she had deluded herself into believing it still was. Noah knew differently and he had made her realize it as well. She was endangering the child's life because she was the one who had the need to go. Defeated by the complete insanity of the position she had taken, Jessa swiped at the tears streaking her face. "All right," she said hoarsely. "I'll only be a moment."
When Jessa returned with the valise Noah told her how to attach it to the saddle. After those curt instructions he said nothing. Gideon more than made up for the silent void between the two adults, whimpering fitfully with each step Noah took. His every cry wrenched at Jessa's heart and filled her soul with guilt. She didn't have to look at Noah to know that he was blaming her for Gideon's unhappiness, but surely, she thought dismally, no more than she was blaming herself. When they reached the abandoned wagon, Noah tugged on General's reins and halted him.
"I'm not certain I can listen to Gideon cry for the next ten miles, Jessa," Noah said, straightening Gideon's blankets and adjusting the child's bonnet. He didn't spare a glance for Jessa. "Not at the rate we're making progress. He's hungry and wet and it's too damn damp and cold to change him out in the open. I think it would be better if I took him to the landing on General. I want you to wait here by the wagon. I won't be much above an hour in returning."
Jessa nodded, holding out her hands, expecting him to give her Gideon while he mounted. Noah did no such thing. Somehow he managed to swing into the saddle without the slightest disruption to Gideon. Jessa's hands fell uselessly to her side and she released the breath she hadn't known she was holding.
