by Jo Goodman
"And then Gideon's parents were killed."
"Hmm-mm," she murmured, her eyes pained. "It was a horrible time for everyone at the manor. The servants were grief stricken as well as uncertain about their future. No one knew who would be named as Gideon's guardian because Kenyon's will was vague on that account. It was quite possible the staff would be cut to a minimum and that Gideon would be raised elsewhere. Penberthy Manor was his, of course, but it seemed likely he would not grow up there. In the midst of all the uncertainty, Mr. Leeds, Kenyon's man of affairs, located Kenyon's cousin Edward. Edward and his wife returned from the Continent, agreed to accept guardianship, and moved into the manor house. For a while we all were relieved."
Jessa smoothed her nightshift over her knees. "It didn't last long. That Lady Barbara was difficult is the kindest thing I can say about her. She was never satisfied. Often she was cruel. I had very little contact with her because she had no interest in Gideon, and until her husband began making excuses to visit the nursery, she had none in me."
"She knew of Edward's interest in you?"
"Yes. I realize now that she knew it before I did. I was naive enough to believe Edward simply liked Gideon, and I maintained that belief for months. There came a time when Edward began to hint that Barbara wanted me gone. He said if I was kind to him, he could save my position. It was soon after that he cornered me in the nursery and wouldn't listen to my refusals. He was so certain I wanted him. You know what happened then. He didn't approach me for days after that incident, and I thought everything was going to return to some semblance of normalcy."
"Obviously it didn't."
"No. Far from it. One evening—I remember it was raining terribly—Edward came to my bedchamber. I was prepared to scream for help but Edward clamped his hand over my mouth and told me to listen to him, then scream if I wanted. Noah, there was so much pain in his voice, so much agony in his face, that I agreed to hear him out He told me that Lady Barbara was planning to murder Gideon and that he had, in effect, given his consent. It was the estate, you see. It was entailed, and Barbara wanted everything. If Gideon were dead, Edward, as the closest male relative, would inherit it. Barbara would have it through him."
Noah swore softly. "You believed him?"
The question startled Jessa. No one, not Mary nor Davey nor any of their kin, had ever asked her that. "Yes. Yes, of course I did. I wouldn't have taken his advice and left the manor with Gideon if I hadn't."
"I see," he said, his green-gold eyes thoughtful. "He helped you leave then?"
"No. He only encouraged me to do so."
"Did he know where you went?"
"No! I believed him, when he told me about his wife's threats, but I didn't trust him so far that I would tell him where I was going. On the contrary I let him think that I wasn't going to take his advice. It took several days to get everything in order, and it was Davey Shaw and his brothers who helped me get away."
"You realize, don't you, that by leaving you were falling neatly into Barbara's, and perhaps Edward's, hands? The outcome was the same. Why didn't you go to the authorities?"
"The outcome was not the same. They may have the estate, but Gideon is alive. And how could I go to the authorities? There was no proof. Edward would have denied that he had spoken to me. Certainly Barbara would have denied everything. My accusations would have meant my dismissal and Gideon would have been left unprotected. I'm sure his life would have been safe for a while, years perhaps, but eventually there would have been an accident. I chose the only course open to me. I fled."
"How did the Penberthys explain Gideon's disappearance?"
"They said I abducted him, which was the truth. There was an extensive search." She frowned. "I don't know how this escaped your attention while you were in England. The London papers had the story."
"I didn't read the papers often."
"But people were talking about it."
"Not to me they weren't. Mayhap they thought I wouldn't be interested. When did you leave the manor?"
"In January."
"I was at Linfield then." He paused, thinking back. "I remember something about an infant... Wasn't there a child who was abandoned in the wild? The child died, I believe."
"Yes. That was Mary and Davey's son. He died a few days after I arrived at their cottage with Gideon. He had never been well." Jessa's hands knotted together. "Please, believe that I didn't ask them to do what they did. It was Mary's idea to take little Davey's body to the Penberthy estate. She laid him in the woods, dressed in Gideon's clothes, wrapped in one of Gideon's blankets, and when his body was discovered Lady Barbara identified it as Adam Penberthy. It's possible Edward may have known differently, but he never said otherwise publicly."
"So you are considered a murderess," he said heavily, "and Edward Penberthy legally claimed the estate."
She nodded. "I've made quite a tangle of everything, haven't I?"
"A veritable Gordian knot."
"But do you believe what I've told you?"
There was no hesitation. "Yes."
Relief shuddered through Jessa. "Then you understand why I had to marry you? And why I created Robert Grantham and his family and all the other hes?"
Noah's eyes shut briefly. He rubbed his lids with his thumb and forefinger. Weariness was rife in his voice. The truth was finally out and it was every bit as complicated as Jessa's lies. Noah firmly believed he had never been given more than he could handle at any one time. Had he learned all of this on board the Clarion, before he understood his own feelings, he may well have made good on his threat to abandon Jessa on the high seas. "I'm not prepared to sort through all of that tonight, I know how much you love Gideon and that explains many of your actions."
"But—"
He held up his hand, effectively cutting Jessa off. "We'll talk on the morrow, Jessa. We have a long journey ahead of us. I suspect I'll understand everything by the time we reach Philadelphia." He leaned toward the nightstand and blew out the candle.
"You're right," she said quietly, staring straight ahead in the darkness. "This probably isn't the best time to say I love you as well." She stretched and slid under the covers. "It can wait."
Chapter 13
Noah was still in a happy state of confusion eight days later. Time and the tedium of travel had provided him with the opportunity to put many of the things Jessa told him into perspective. He began to understand how events unfolded from her point of view, and the impact of this new awareness was staggering. He recognized how deeply her fear of discovery ran, and how often she risked her own well-being in order to protect Gideon's identity. Her bravery, though sometimes foolish, was not to be questioned.
Noah sifted through the lies she had told, the actions she had taken, and realized time and again she had deceived him for Gideon's sake. The post road robbery, the marriage, her refusal in the beginning to be intimate, and the invention of Robert Grantham were all motivated by her singular desire to keep Gideon safe.
In hindsight, Noah realized that deception was something that did not come easily to Jessa. She had been reluctant to accept the clothes he had provided for her because she believed she had no right to them. Guilt kept her silent on the matter of his fiancée. She disliked speaking of Robert because it enmeshed her in more lies, and she had been compelled by overwhelming remorse to refuse his own declaration of love. Jessa's fundamentally honest nature was battered and bruised by the necessity of lying, her nerves stretched to the point of snapping.
While Noah was able to reconcile his thinking in regard to Jessa's actions, adjusting to the fact that she loved him was another matter entirely. At times he felt oddly giddy and would discover he was grinning without apparent cause. His heart would give a faint lurch when Jessa touched him casually to get his attention. He laughed more frequently, often over the most trifling things. He felt bemused, light-headed, and unequivocally happy. More than that, Noah felt blessed.
The closed carriage rumbled along Philadelphia's paved
streets at a leisurely pace. The sun bore down relentlessly and a hazy screen of heat rose from the cobblestones. Cam, feeling very self-important, rode with Henry in the driver's seat. Lowering his cocked hat a notch, he pretended not to see the shy interest of three young serving girls gathered at one of the public water pumps. Inside the carriage, Jessa's face was pressed childlike against the window while Noah dangled Gideon on his knee and made an effort not to be obviously amused by his wife's enthusiasm.
He directed her attention away from the tidy row of brick buildings where shopkeepers displayed their goods toward the gleaming white steeple of Christ Church that towered above the city. Jessa pronounced it beautiful. Of course, she said much the same thing about the simple elegance of the State House and Carpenter's Hall. She even found something to admire about the rows of dockside warehouses along the Delaware and the open markets and sidewalk stands. At the end of their brief tour it was her firm opinion Philadelphia had much to recommend it, not the least of which was its enterprising and engaging citizens.
The carriage slowed on Chestnut Street and finally stopped in front of a row of three-story red brick dwellings. Jessa drew back from the window as Cam leaped from his perch and opened the door to the carriage. He helped her down and she waited somewhat nervously on the narrow sidewalk while Noah alighted with Gideon.
"Our home is the one with white shutters," he said, searching his pockets for a key.
Jessa glanced over her shoulder at the houses. Fused as they were, it was difficult to tell where one house began and another ended. "Noah, they all have white shutters," she said.
"So they do," he said, pretending he had never noticed it before. "But only one has the shutters closed. Therefore it is unoccupied and therefore it is ours. Also, Henry had the foresight to stop the carriage directly at our front door." Triumphantly he held up the key. "This way." At the door he paused. "Be warned. I only arranged for it to be cleaned periodically in my absence. There's no telling what you'll find."
Noah's fears had not been without substance. While Henry and Cam carried in trunks and valises, Noah took Jessa through the rooms on the first floor. The furniture in the parlor was draped protectively in sheets. Dust motes scattered in the still air when Noah pulled off one cover with a bit too much flourish. The dark hardwood floor was dull, and Jessa noticed a trail of telltale footprints as they moved about the room. Noah's study, the dining room, and the kitchen were in no better condition. The master bedchamber, with a large dressing room adjoining it, was on the second floor. The smaller, unfurnished bedroom was to be Gideon's. On the third floor were rooms for Cam and the house servants Noah intended to rehire as soon as time permitted.
Back in the parlor Noah checked his watch and wound the clock on the mantel. Jessa was sitting on the only uncovered chair while Gideon cut a swath through the dust by bouncing along the floor on his bottom.
"You won't need to hire anyone," she said, pointing to Gideon. "He's quite happy to polish the floors for us."
"You're not too disappointed, are you?" he asked, an anxious note in his voice.
Jessa was genuinely bewildered. "Disappointed?"
Noah waved one hand indicating the room they were in and beyond. "The house," he said. "I'm only renting it. Perhaps I could find something larger."
"Don't you dare," she said firmly. "I'm far from disappointed. In fact, I couldn't be more pleased. There's nothing wrong with this house that a little airing and dusting and scrubbing won't eliminate."
"You really think so?"
"I really do."
Noah felt unburdened by her pleasure. Crossing the room, he placed a swift kiss on her lips. "I'm going to help Cam and Henry bring in the furniture for Gideon's room," he said.
"Shouldn't you be going to the State House?" she asked. "I thought your meetings began today. By my reckoning you're already hours late."
"They do and I am. But I can't very well leave you within minutes of arriving."
"Why ever not? There's nothing to do here that I can't accomplish. If you leave me some coin I'll send Henry to market for foodstuffs. Cam and I will begin airing the rooms." Her smile was amused as she looked up at him and saw the protest that hovered on his lips. "Very well, Noah. Argue with me for a minute longer then be on your way. I knew what you were about when you glanced at your watch and set the clock."
He laughed. "I didn't realize I was so obvious. I thought I managed to look calm and indifferent."
"Hardly," she said dryly. She held out her hand, palm up.
Sighing, Noah pulled out a small leather pouch out of his jacket pocket and dropped it in her hand. "Now that you've separated me from my money, wife, I'll take my leave." Gideon tugged at his leg. Noah bent down and ruffled the infant's dark hair. "I'll call on Mr. Bowen at the bank, Jessa, before I go to the meeting. The small staff I let go when I went to England work for him now. Charles employed them as a favor to me. Perhaps I can persuade him to part with Sally and Mrs. Harper to help with the housework and cooking."
Jessa focused on only a small part of what he said. With the exception of one name Noah's words simply washed over her. "Bowen?" she asked. "A relative of Hilary's?"
"Her father." He stood, brushing off his sleeves. "I have to meet with him sometime. Hilary as well. You understand, don't you?"
She nodded, keeping her features carefully closed so he would not guess at the depth of her insecurity. "You'll see Hilary tonight, then?"
"I think it's for the best. I don't want her to hear about my marriage from anyone else. Her home is on Arch Street, only a few blocks from here, and rumors fly in this city. I shouldn't be surprised if all our neighbors know that I didn't arrive alone." His smile strived for a lightness he was not really feeling. "That means there is a story circulating somewhere along Market Street by now."
Jessa stood, slipped her arm through Noah's and escorted him to the door. "I know you're not looking forward to your meeting with Hilary, but you're right not to let her learn of our marriage from anyone else." She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "You're a fine man, Noah McClellan, and I love you."
The embrace that Noah planned was aborted as Cam pushed through the door carrying a valise under each arm. He glanced guiltily from Noah to Jessa then mumbled a pardon and shot up the stairs.
"I'll expect you for dinner," Jessa said, giving Noah a playful shove toward the front stoop.
Once Noah was gone, Jessa set herself to the task of restoring some sense of order to the house. The first thing she had to do was find a place for Gideon to play where he would be out of harm's way and not underfoot. She caught Henry as he was carrying in the footboard for Gideon's bed.
Henry puzzled over the problem while he wiped the dark, shiny crown of his head with a kerchief. Beads of perspiration glistened on his upper lip, testimony to the heat of the day and the work he had already done. His breath whistled softly between the gap in his front teeth. After a moment's thought, he rearranged the parlor furniture into a formidable blockade, laying some of the pieces on their side so Gideon couldn't get out. Cam found Gideon's toys and tossed them into the pen. Everyone was satisfied with the arrangement except Gideon. He cried soulfully for several minutes, waiting for someone to rescue him. When he finally realized that confinement was going to be his lot for the time being, he was content to chase his ball and suck on his string of beads.
Jessa changed clothes, discarding her violet gown in favor of something more serviceable. The coarsely woven brown dress she wore had sleeves that were pleated at the cuffs and fell just below her elbows. It was a dress eminently suited for work because it left her hands and forearms free. After breathing the stale air of the house and sweeping dust with the hem of her gown, Jessa fairly itched to be elbow deep in sudsy water. Mary Shaw would have thought her mad. Smiling wistfully as she thought of her friend, Jessa pinned an apron to her bodice and tucked her hair under a mobcap.
Cam was envious that Henry was sent to market, but he accepted his fate stoicall
y. He found brooms, dusters, and oil soap, drew water from the pumps, and opened windows and shutters that refused to budge under Jessa's lighter touch. He carried the sheets into the backyard and snapped the dust out of them—though he was inclined to cough overmuch as a way of attracting Jessa's sympathy. He helped Jessa wash the woodwork and floors, rub down the furniture with beeswax, make beds, clear the corners of cobwebs, and sweep the front stoop. He was careful to mention only a few times and in a casual way that Henry seemed to be overlong at the market.
When Henry finally returned, Cam was relieved of his duties, yet he felt so guilty as Jessa continued to work that soon he was down on his hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor while she wiped the pantry shelves.
The knock at the front door startled Jessa. She dropped her rag into the bucket at her side and water splashed her dress. "Oh, damn," she swore softly, smoothing her apron and straightening her limp mob-cap. Her damp fingers merely streaked the material, making the dirt more obvious. "Cam!" Distressed, she fairly wailed the boy's name. "I can't go to the door like this." She knew her face was smudged with dirt and strands of hair clung damply to her neck. Her gown and pinafore were hopelessly stained. "Would you see who it is, please?" She raised her eyes heavenward, praying it was the help Noah said he would send.
Cam jumped to his feet and pitched his scrub brush into his pail, wishing Henry weren't plucking their main course for dinner in the backyard. The older man made a more dignified doorman than he did.
Jessa strained to hear Cam's conversation at the door, but she couldn't make anything out. Gideon's whimpering in the drawing room attracted her attention and as soon as she heard the front door close she hurried down the hallway to look in on her son. She was brought up short in the entrance hall when she saw Cam was not alone.
