by Lilly Black
My shamelessness inspires him, urging him to give more, and he clutches my hips, fucking me faster, bringing me down hard on his perfect, unmalleable cock, his rhythmic assault driving us to a magnificent, simultaneous end. As I scream his name, he grabs my bra in his fist, pulling me down into a deep, animalistic kiss, and I moan into his mouth, shuddering as he grinds his cock into me, the water crashing on us as the tide moves in. I don’t even feel the cold anymore.
September 9
I wake later than I had planned on Monday, the blackout shades in my room keeping it as dark as a tomb. I had a restless night, missing Cain, but I’m glad I slept late because now there are fewer hours to wait until he comes to pick me up for the Chargers game tonight. I get out of bed and head toward the bathroom to brush my teeth when I notice Nicole sitting in the kitchen with a piece of paper in her hand, tapping her fingernails impatiently on the table.
“What’s this?” she snaps.
Oh, shit! We had Cain’s list yesterday, but apparently mine was left laying somewhere in the house.
“A list,” I answer coyly.
“A list of what?” Nicole demands.
“Sexual possibilities.”
“I know these are…sex things. What I’m asking is what kind of fucked up shit is this guy into?”
“It’s just a joke,” I say dismissively.
“Look, I know you really want things to work out with Cain, but there are a lot of normal things you can try before resorting to…to…to nipple clamps and electroshock!”
“Cain and I agreed. No electroshock,” I joke as I wonder if telling her that Cain and I have already tried the normal things would get her to drop it.
“Evan,” She snaps. “Would you be serious? You don’t really know this guy. You can’t just let him put you in handcuffs and do whatever he likes with you. He could be a serial killer who gets away with it by preying on girls like us with no family or…”
“He’s not a serial killer, Nicole.” I roll my eyes. “What’s the matter with you? You’re the one who tricked me into going out with him in the first place.”
“That was before I knew he wanted to tie you up and beat you!” she shouts, and though I have had the very same thought, when I hear her say these things about Cain, I grow fiercely protective of him, surprising myself.
“I’ll make you a deal,” I say, my tone cold and calculated. “You forget you ever saw this list, and I’ll forget you’re trying to seduce a married man.” When it stops her in her tracks, it confirms what I thought I saw last night - Caleb Ballantyne hiding in the shadows of the bar waiting for Cain and I to leave.
“That’s not fair, Evan,” she says as she hands me the list.
I know.
Evening of September 9
Last night when Cain dropped me off at work, he invited Nicole, Syndi, Dave, and Dave’s football buddies from the bar to come to his private sky box at Qualcomm today, thus insuring the night off for Nicole and I.
“You realize that Dave will be forever in your debt now,” I had said.
“I’m counting on it,” Cain said with a wink.
The limousine pulls up at my house at 4:30, and from my bedroom I hear Nicole opening the front door.
“Hey,” Cain says when I open my bedroom door to find him looking like the consummate, corporate eye candy.
“Hey,” I echo, and he kisses me, lifting me effortlessly off the ground, moving me forward to kick the door closed behind us.
“Fuck the football game,” he growls when he feels the garters through the thin fabric of my dress. I’m wearing a conservative, 50’s style, belted swing dress that makes me look exactly as I should on the arm of a billionaire playboy in his skybox suite, and beneath it is exactly what he should find when he takes the dress off of me.
Before the game starts, Lucy drops us off at Qualcomm Stadium at a private entrance that leads directly to the suites. Expecting a standard skybox, I’m taken aback when we enter a vast area with two rooms bigger than my house. Cain explains that suites like this are intended to be shared by various businesses for the purpose of networking, but except for the few memberships held by the family business, he holds the rest.
Though it seems too posh for a football game with an open bar and dedicated, uniformed staff serving food, there is a deck outside where Dave and his friends can be comfortable getting loud and crazy, and they’re having the time of their lives.
When the game starts, Cain and I watch through the glass, acting almost cutesy with each other until about twenty minutes in when his brothers show up. On his way to the deck, Cary passes Nicole, who comes in like a moth to a flame and wanders off with Caleb, but I refuse to deal with her bad relationship decisions today. I don’t want anything to taint this day, and the longer Caleb keeps her entertained, the longer Cain and I will have the house to ourselves tonight. We had hoped to go to his place, but this morning’s walkthrough did not mark the end of the construction. He says it should be ready by the end of the week at the latest. I don’t even care that much anymore. All I care about is luring Cain out of here so I can give him the little gift I have on a chain around my neck. I just need to check my makeup.
“Be right back,” I say to Cain, but as I turn to leave, he slaps me on the ass. I spin back around with a dirty look, embarrassed by it in front of the young, pretty servers I’ve caught watching him since we got here. I’m the one who should be marking my territory. I grab him by the collar and kiss him intensely.
“What was that for?” he asks.
“Just wanted to make sure everyone knows you’re mine,” I whisper.
“It’s a shame I can’t say the same,” Cain says.
“I thought I made that clear already.”
“Oh, I don’t think you did.”
“Then just so there is no doubt,” I say softly as I pull my necklace over my head. On a long chain, hidden in my cleavage, I wore the key to the chastity belt, planning to give it back to him after we leave the game, but now seems like the time. I hand it to him, and with my lips so close to his ear they graze the lobe as I move them, I breathe the words, “I am yours, Cain Ballantyne, wholly, unequivocally, desperately yours.”
“And?” he asks, his voice seducing me to beg whether I want to or not.
“And I beg you to say the words,” I whisper with dramatic flair, but the mood turns instantly serious. Cain grabs my wrists forcefully, the key hanging from his fingers as he pulls me to him.
“You’ve always been mine, Evan, all mine.” My chest heaving with sudden shallow breaths, my lower lip trembling, his eyes bore into mine as he finally cements his claim upon me, giving me the impression of being caught in the sights of a dangerous predator. Only the pleasure and promise of his tone overshadow the mesmerizing angst, and though compelled to seal it with a kiss, the gravity of the moment becomes too much for me. I have to break the spell.
“Don’t forget it,” I say, crinkling my nose at him, and I walk away without looking back.
As I reapply my lipstick in the ladies’ room, I decide I can’t wait any longer to see what Cain intends to do with me now that I’ve returned the key. With the words “fuck me, Sir,” on the tip of my tongue, I open the door prepared to submit to the man of my dreams, but on the other side, I find a scene out of my worst nightmares.
Through the sparse branches of a ficus tree between the ladies’ and men’s room doors, I watch stunned as my fantasy dissolves into reality all around me. There are two women, and one of them is unacceptably close to Cain. Though the chain with the key is still woven through his fingers, it’s little solace as some bitch I don’t know looks up into his eyes, one hand possessively on his shoulder. I can only see her profile, but she’s thin with large breasts and blonde hair - the perfect Southern California socialite.
“You don’t know how happy you’ve made me,” she says.
“We’re all happy,” the other one adds. She’s blonde, too.
“What are you talking about?”
he asks, his hands locked together in front of him as he stands like a statue.
“Don’t be silly. We’ve already started planning it,” the girl says, her arms beginning to snake around his neck.
“Planning what?” he asks, gently pulling at her arms.
“You’re secret’s out, Cain. We know about the special order at Grohl’s Jewelers,” she says, her syrupy voice sickening me. I want to slip back in the bathroom to hide, but I just can’t make my legs move. I have to watch this play out.
“Liz,” the other woman says. “I told you he probably has something better in mind than a football game for your proposal.”
“It’s not too late to have it put up on the big screen,” she suggests.
“Elizabeth, you’ve been misinformed. What I bought at Grohl’s was kept secret because it’s none of your business,” Cain says sternly.
“I get it. You don’t want to spoil the surprise,” she giggles.
“There is no surprise, and you need to leave, Liz,” Cain says, jerking her arms off his neck like he should have in the first place.
How long did he think I would be gone? Has he noticed me standing here? As I try to figure it out, things go from bad to worse. Steph enters the room, heading straight for me. I shake my head no, but it’s too late.
“You fucking dog!” he calls out in his rich asshole accent, standing between me and the others. “You bagged the bartender!”
Oh, God! I think in horror as everything starts to move in slow motion. Only seconds pass, but now that attention has been drawn to me, it feels as if I’ve been standing here for eons, every detail burning into my memory.
“Steph!” Cain spits his name, his voice venomous.
“Oh!” Elizabeth says. “I’m sorry, baby. I thought you’d be done with her by now.”
“Shut your vile mouth, Liz, or I’ll shut it for you,” Cain hisses, but it’s too late as I stand humiliated, feeling naked with spotlights on all my imperfections and scars. And that bitch just keeps on going.
“Take your time with her,” she says as she looks me over, and oh, fuck me, I hate her! I want to kill her, just grab any sharp object and slice her the fuck apart. “I want all of it out of your system before we walk down the aisle.”
“You’ll never walk down the aisle for me,” Cain says coldly.
“How dare you!” she shouts at him, but as he and I lock eyes, he seems a million miles away from her, walking toward me in a trancelike manner, silently pleading with me. “Just because I’m understanding of your needs does not make it okay to treat me like this in front of your latest pet!”
“Get the fuck out!” he growls at Elizabeth, abruptly lured out of his daze. He grabs her wrists and throws her at the other woman as he closes the gap between us, reaching out, but I shrug his hand off my shoulder. I can’t let these women to see him console me. They already think I am just some lowly barmaid to get the slumming out of his system before he settles down and marries Elizabeth, and the way he was handling this before Steph called me out makes me wonder if she’s right, if he does plan to propose to her when he gets through with me. I can’t control these thoughts because I’m hardwired to think them, and though they make me want to run from Cain, I’m shamed enough already without being chased from the room crying. I hold my ground.
“I might not be here for you when you’re done with her!” Elizabeth screeches.
“Good!” Cain’s voice erupts.
“You’ll regret this!” she screams, desperate.
“Get her out of here, Arianna!”
Arianna? The harpy?
“Give him some space, Liz,” Steph says. She argues with him as I face Cain, digging my fingernails into my fisted palms to stop the tears from coming.
“Don’t…” I say, barely audibly, shrinking backward toward the ladies’ room. When I am close enough, I turn and slip inside, though having learned nothing from my last fight with Cain, I don’t get the door shut fast enough. As he tries to force his way in, Elizabeth is still out there bitching.
“Goddamn it, Elizabeth, if I have to take my foot out of this door to physically remove you, I will snap your fucking neck!” Cain roars, but she persists. His frustration at fever pitch, he cringes as he parts his lips to speak again, and when he does, it’s a single word.
“Enough.” His voice is harsh and deliberate yet detached, and Elizabeth’s reaction completely blows me away.
“Yes, Sir,” she says, and the words make my ears perk, disturbing me, frightening me. Then I finally hear the main door outside close, and Cain pushes his way into the bathroom where I stand having lost the battle with my tears after hearing him reduce Elizabeth’s fire to a somber acquiescence. I know exactly what that was about, and no man will never do that to me.
“Baby, no,” Cain pleads softly, his eyes anguished as he tries to touch my cheek, but I turn my back on him. “Evan, please.”
“Go to hell, Cain,” I hiss.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He stands behind me whispering it into my hair over and over, and when I think about what his breath on my neck would have done to me just five minutes ago, it only hurts more. I feel lost, used, cheated.
“Baby, please look at me.” He steadies me with his hands so he can slip between me and the wall, forcing me to face him, but I just stare at the ground.
“How much did you hear?” he asks. “Damn it, Evan! Talk to me!”
“Everything!” I spit. “Is that what you want to hear me say? I heard everything!”
“I’m so sor…”
“Shut up, Cain! How hard would it have been to just push her away before I came out of the bathroom? How hard would it have been to introduce me rather than letting that asshole treat me like the catch of the day? Why is he here?”
“Steph has a pass through the distillery. He’s my cousin, and before he opened his goddamned mouth, I was trying to handle Elizabeth delicately. I would never intentionally hurt you, Evan. You have to know that.”
“I thought I did, then your fiancé showed up and called me a whore while you did nothing!” I attack when inside all I want is to get back to the way we felt before Elizabeth ruined everything. Cain’s behavior probably wasn’t as bad in reality as it is in my mind, but my issues won’t let me back down. I’ve been unforgivably wronged, and the gods of wounded pride must be appeased.
“I didn’t do nothing! I threw her out!” he shouts
“Eventually,” I hiss, and defeated, Cain drops to his knees
“You’re right,” he says, looking up into my eyes, his face a mask of sorrow. In one hand, he still holds the key, and in the other, he holds his phone. “I fucked up…again. I don’t deserve you, Evan.”
“Now you’re just being a dick,” I complain.
“I’m being honest,” he says. “I didn’t forget about you for a second.” He lets the key drop and dangle on the chain, holding his right hand up to show me the deep impression left by clutching it tightly the entire time.
“Please, Evan. Tell me how to fix this,” he says, taking my hand in his. “I’ll do anything. I’ll bring you Steph’s head…Liz’ head.” I know it’s an idle threat, but the combination of feeling the key’s impression on his palm and the intent behind his brutal offer has a strange power over me.
“I don’t want her head,” I say, fighting a smile.
“Then I’ll bring you her heart. Anything to never see this look in your eyes again. Please forgive me.”
“Move your thumb,” I say as I notice that there is a call in progress on his phone. He obeys, and I hear the sound of a woman’s cries come shrieking out. It’s clearly Elizabeth, and while he blocked the speaker so I didn’t hear her, she heard everything he just said to me.
I look down at him, so vulnerable, begging on his knees before me, and all the pain, wrath, and humiliation drain away. I pull him up by a fistful of the front of his shirt into my arms, and as he holds me so tight it forces the air from my lungs, I know that none of this has t
he power to change anything between us.
“I mean it, Evan, every word,” he says, dabbing away the last evidence of my tears with his fingers. “I don’t give a fuck about Liz or anyone else. You’re all that matters to me.”
“Let’s get out of here,” I breathe the words, looking up into pale blue eyes as I snatch his phone and press the red button to end the call.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers, my face in his hands. He kisses me sweetly, then leads me by the hand back out into the suite where Steph stands alone, watching the game through the window.
“Man, I didn’t mean…” he says as he approaches us, but he’s cut off by Cain’s fist knocking him across the room.
“I deserved that,” Steph admits, wiping blood from his mouth.
“Give me your car keys, asshole,” Cain demands, and Steph hands them over unquestioningly.
“I really am sorry,” he calls out as we head to the door.
“Fuck off, Steph,” Cain shouts back.
We hurry through the hallways toward the exit, past Lucy at the limo, and in a reserved space, we find Steph’s shiny, red tiny-penis-maker-upper. Though flashy for my taste, at least it’s fast as it flies down Friars Road toward the interstate. We’re seven miles from my house, but right now miles seem like light years.
Going past the turn that would take us to the 8, Cain brings the Lamborghini to a dead stop in the middle of the road in front of a hotel. He asks me with his eyes if he should pull in, and with a flash of mine, I say yes. He drives under the awning of the main entrance and gets out of the car, rushing to my side faster than the valet. They talk, and the kid hurries off as Cain opens my car door.
