“Eire…” Nicky looked to Mally first and then to Graham and Kai.
“Yes, your Eire is the first Fae, the only Fae we know of in fact, who has the gift of Stone. She is immune to the cold of the Fae, even though the stubborn brat likes to think she’s all cold hard bitch.” Mally looked to the room. “It’s nurture.”
“No, it’s not. I felt it. I felt her change. It felt like a change. Not a shift. No, she changed like one of our Clan does in puberty. Damon, Zeke, and Loch felt her change. I could see it in their eyes.”
“True, bro,” Kai chimed in, “but that’s only because she pushed that Stone so far down, she damn well would have destroyed her gift had it not been that particular gift that could destroy and create. She wanted to hide. Creation isn’t always good and destruction isn’t always bad. In this case, she created in herself a powerful Fae who could defeat her father, or so she thinks. But it doesn’t work that way, because we create our own realities only to an extent. She sees her grandmother and her father as the most powerful Fae, and so she has deemed her Stone as a weakness and her Sword as her strength. When, in truth, the gift of Swords is too closely related to her father. She will never defeat him with that gift.” Kai paused, his gaze steady, and Nicky saw the ancient knowledge that lived there. A knowledge that spoke of truths known and eternity achieved. His brother was no longer a young man. He was a member of the Afterworld. “Eire will only defeat Nessa and Lochlan with the help of her Stone. The gods are just as worried about the threat you face, and as closed-mouthed as they’re being, they have shared that they think Eire is the key to stopping them both.”
Nicky reread the small section of the tome. He had recalled the first part of the History almost as soon as he’d read it, but he’d forgotten the healing piece. Could he really have survived? Shit. He hoped so. For the first time in a long time, he felt an optimistic warmth infuse his soul, felt faith beat at his breastbone in a pitter-patter similar to a heartbeat.
“That is your heartbeat, you idiot,” Kai said, punching his shoulder.
“It’s almost time,” Graham whispered.
Graham, Mally, and Kai hugged him one by one, and he felt their presence linger within his own. He would hold onto this.
“So, we can defeat Nessa and Lochlan with Eire’s gift of Stone?”
Graham, Mally, and Kai looked at one another.
“There are rumblings that Lochlan and Nessa have gone mad, and based on the amount of kills recently, we’d agree with those rumors. And still, there is something that doesn’t make sense with the murders. The barriers are only one of the mysteries, as you’ve already discussed with your friends. We may be dead, and we may be able to read your mind, but we aren’t omniscient. We aren’t able to track the movements of Nessa and Lochlan, but we do know what the gods have told us.” Graham held out his hands. “If you are able to help your mate, you can stop all of this…”
Nicky felt his vision waver and turn black. He tried to grab onto the couch, but instead felt a weightlessness before he was slammed back into his body, a shocking whiplash-like sensation blasting through his chest as he tried to catch his breath.
“What. The. Fuck?” Danny’s voice rang throughout the room.
“Nicky!” He knew that voice as well. Fucking Ginny. Fucking Danny.
“G-g—”
He coughed and was handed a glass of water even as he tried to open his eyes. Fuck. He closed his eyes quickly. But the kaleidoscope of colors that beat at his eyes when he tried to open them again, the dry throat, and the incessant beat of his heart in ears at Ginny’s tone made him want to—
“He’s gonna hurl,” a deep voice spoke from the corner. Loch?
Nicky felt the bile leave his body. He’d never thrown up before. His body tended to work through toxins and poisons naturally. He shifted or went for a run, and he was good. Poisons and toxins never stayed in his body.
As he leaned over, he felt the cuts in his back open, and the fire that burned there roared to life.
Jesus, if he was an asshole, he’d be calling Eire a cold bitch in his head.
Shit, he was an asshole and she was a cold bitch. But she was his cold bitch. And he’d felt her warmth. Not that he didn’t love her refreshing cool, but he wanted all of her, not just the closed-off Eire who was afraid of the world and her own gifts.
But damn it, he was enraged at her betrayal, at her ability to shove a part of herself so deep down that she could almost kill him. Hell, she probably thought she had killed him.
He threw up until he was dry heaving and couldn’t throw up any longer. And then he felt his back as it painfully reknit. His skin shifted, and his true self rubbed against him inside, begging to be let out. He promised himself he’d shift into a wolf when he could, but he had to reevaluate what he’d learned.
He trusted his instincts, and his instincts were screaming at him that he: a) had really seen Kai, Graham, and Mally in the place between this world and the Afterworld and b) should not have survived the poison from a Fae of Swords.
He just had to convince this lot.
And he had to do it quickly, because any more deaths at the hands of Lochlan and Nessa Trappe were not acceptable.
He would stand by Eire as she fought her father, but he would bring her back to herself first.
No matter that he felt her betrayal deeply.
No matter the cost.
The dark-haired goddess, Titania, walked alone, but there was a difference in this dream. Instead of watching a war, Alexia stood in wolf form, her bear at her side. A red cardinal swooped in to land on the woman’s shoulder, and Alexia looked at her wolf paws. She wondered briefly if her newest nightmare would have her stuck in animal form, frozen forever as her wolf. She loved her wolf. She loved being Vuković. But she was also Skröm. She feared losing either part of herself.
“As well you should,” the woman said as she sat at a large wooden table in an area that was very much like Alexia and Devon’s community. The dark-haired woman gestured for them to sit, but they were in animal form, so they flopped on the ground together, fur to fur. “You are Skröm and Vuković, what we always hoped for. The saving grace of the Skröm Clan. For a long-lived lot, though, your kind was a little impatient. And I bet they never expected you, did they?” Her smile and small laugh were light. Alexia would have thought, with the loneliness she’d always sensed from the woman in her dreams, that her voice and presence would be just as lonely, except the smile and the sound coming from her were anything but lonely.
“What’s to feel lonely about? My children are well.”
Alexia listened as the dark-haired woman, Titania – yes, like the fucking Queen of the Fae – shared the history of Vuković and Nivea in all its harsh truth and glory, and Alexia wept for the woman and her descendants. Alexia’s Man Bear sat her side, making chuffing sounds and generally not keeping quiet. She smiled inside, at the fact that he claimed he was so quiet. The man was a booming, bumbling, truth-telling, open, loving bear, and he was all that was good with the world.
When the story was finished, Alexia shivered, and felt herself form into her human self. For the Vuković to have experienced all of that…
Her Man Bear also slipped into his human skin, and their connection clicked.
“Yes, your Man Bear is really here.” Titania smiled again at Alexia’s surprise. Really here. In her dreams. She leaned further back into his body, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent. “I like that. Man Bear.” Titania said the name as though testing it for herself, and Alexia felt suddenly possessive. Her growled ‘Mine’ was probably more of a shock to herself than to the witchy woman across from her. She threw her hand over mouth, and then took it away and held her head high. Devon was hers and she was his.
Titania’s laugh tinkled across Alexia’s skin like bells and wind chimes. The red cardinal still sat on her shoulder, but Alexia couldn’t bring herself to look at the creature. Every time she looked at the bird, she either felt anger for the omens the
little avian had been sending her way, or she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, and she didn’t know why.
“Are you sure, little one?” Titania spoke with the bird as though it had a consciousness, and Alexia turned her nose into her Man Bear, ignoring the exchange. “Be free.” The red cardinal flew off into the breeze, and Alexia watched as the critter took to the wind. She wanted to call the bird back, and she hated that she didn’t know why.
“You’ll know soon enough, Alexia Maria.” Titania’s smile was serene and motherly, and Alexia brushed off her concerns over the bird and its omens. Something hit her suddenly.
“Clara…” Alexia whispered. “I know that name.” She blew out a breath of frustration. “Where do I know that name from?”
Titania reached across the table and touched her arm.
Images bombarded her memory then, images of Mally and of Nicky as a young boy. Images of another young boy named Kai, Nicky’s brother, and a toddler named Isabella, Nicky’s sister. Images of her with Graham, Nicky and Mally all playing together. But also the warm image of a woman who had the same eyes as the young man she had once loved. Brown eyes, soulful eyes. A man stood next to her, strong and steadfast, and Alexia smiled at the man who could easily have passed for Nicky’s twin. Although this man’s eyes were blue and his skin the light tone of a European, his jaw was strong, his lips bow shaped, his forehead long, and his hair a deep brown. Nicky’s parents.
Alexia felt tears form a trail down her pale cheeks as she looked to Titania.
“Thank you,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out. She hadn’t known. She’d forgotten those memories, the ones with Mally and Nicky, and even with Graham. She had them now, though, and she held them to her chest, closely, even more tightly than before. Because she’d lost too much of those people already.
Even now, Nicky was in a coma, destroyed by a Fae woman, while she dreamed on.
“Dreaming is for healing, Alexia Maria, and don’t judge a Fae woman,” Titania said as she smiled. “They’re more than meets the eye.” She paused for a moment to absentmindedly picked at her skirt as though she were worried about something. But she turned back to them just as quickly and continued speaking. “Take Eire for example. Her grandmother was the woman who dethroned me, but Eire is nothing like that vile witch. Her Stone saves her. My mother, Morrigan’s, gift to her. I’ve always thought of her more like a sister, even though we do not share blood.” Titania looked Alexia dead on, but Alexia worried at the goddess’ words. If Eire was like a sister, exactly what kind of Queen had Titania been? “It is always better to give something good where you can. It is always better to grant forgiveness and to offer an olive branch of peace than it is to turn to anger. Anger is easier, though, isn’t it, Alexia Maria?”
Alexia knew what she was speaking of. Her anger. Her fire. Her gift that frightened everyone she knew, and one she’d turned to often this past year and a half. Her fire. Her ability to turn any being to ash had been her saving grace. And now, this woman, this Fae, this Other, was telling her she shouldn’t.
Titania’s laugh once again tinkled across her skin.
“Other, huh? Is that what I am, Skröm?” Her expression was forceful, half humored and half charming smile. “Is that all you are? Are you just Skröm? Is Ginny just Skröm?” Titania asked. “Never a more positive – if not a little unhinged – Skröm I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching over.” Her look clearly stated that Alexia was naïve, and instead of anger, Alexia felt chastised. Devon’s touch only made her feel worse. She’d become more judgmental than she’d ever wanted to be.
“No, I am not Other. I was once the Queen of the Veil and I was the creator of the Vuković, but I am not Other. I was also once a powerful goddess, but the gods and goddesses do not like to share. No matter that they are Light, as the Clans do so love to say; the gods and goddesses are still very…” She paused as if searching for a word, and then she smiled a mischievous smile. “Well, they are what we all are at times, aren’t they? Very, very human.”
“So, you are the Darkness, then?” Devon asked from Alexia’s back. He’d been quiet. He was only ever quiet when he was absorbing facts. Not that he was a chatterbox, but he wasn’t afraid to be open, to share what was on his mind.
“Well, then, Devon. That’s a tale for another time now, isn’t it? Suffice to say, I am not the evil you all think.”
If she thought they’d accept that answer, she didn’t know them.
“Oh, I know you both very well,” Titania said and smiled. “You’ll dig and you’ll dig, and you’ll find things you hoped you’d never found and other things that make life worth living.”
Alexia got that. She really did. She already felt that way about most of her experiences in this world. Beautiful and Ugly. Bitter and Sweet. Ice and Fire. But she would not change her fire. She’d never used it for evil.
“Oh, Alexia Maria,” Titania said, in a consoling tone. “I never meant to imply that you’d used your gift for evil.” She paused for a moment and closed her eyes as if focusing intently. “I can’t see the way I used to when I was a goddess. Everything is jumbled. I can share memories. I can watch over my children. But I cannot connect the way I used to, to the future. Not that it was ever much good. There is always a choice.” Titania paused again and looked off into the trees. “I see a choice for you. And for Eire. She has been dragged down by the pull of her Fae ancestry, by her ice, her cold. It has wrapped around her, but she still has a choice. Eire, the carrier of my mother’s power, still has the chance to embrace her Stone and all its burden.” Titania turned back to Alexia. “And you will have a moment of choice as well. Will you use your fire, or will you offer an olive branch? Sometimes, we must grant a life to save a life, no matter how distasteful the task.” Titania’s nose scrunched up as though she too would be hard-pressed to make the decision she was telling Alexia she herself would need to make. Lovely.
“Nothing more than that, oh Cryptic One?”
Titania’s tinkling laugh fluttered across her skin, and there was a warmth to the laugh now that wrapped around Alexia. It was a Mother’s embrace, a parent’s love, a best friend’s comfort that she felt.
“Nothing more than that, Alexia Maria.” Her aspect was serious once more. “There isn’t much more I can give here, child.” She paused. “Well, there is one thing actually.” The former Queen of the Veil raised her hands and placed one over Alexia’s heart and the other on her forehead and whispered, “Ich habe das Gift entfernt, die Kriegerin Skröm.”
“What—”
“It was a gift. I cannot truly take away your prophecy. I’m afraid you were always meant to have that ability. But take comfort in the fact that you were always meant to be, and that as petty as the gods are, they never give more than what any being can take, Alexia Maria.” She gave Alexia a small smile. “But Eire was also meant to be. You are two parts of a whole. Morrigan’s Stone and the gift of foresight I had when I was a goddess is now in you two.”
“What exactly did you do, though?” Alexia asked.
“I made it so you won’t be sick with your gift any longer. ‘Ich habe das gift entfernt’ is a spell that quite literally means ‘I have removed the poison’.”
“And what is the cost of such a gift, Titania?” Alexia asked. There was always a cost.
“Suspicious child,” Titania said. “There is no price. This is given freely as the gift of foresight was always meant to be the die Krieger Skröm’s burden.”
“Die Krieger Skröm,” Alexia whispered. “I keep hearing that and seeing that in my dreams. What does that mean?”
“Not ‘what’. Who. You are the die Krieger Skröm, Alexia Maria. Or I guess technically you are the die Kriegerin Skrom, as is the female form. The historians always did assume it would be a male.” Titania shook her head in apparent humor and then met Alexia’s gaze. “You’ve looked it up. You know it means ‘the warrior Skröm.’ This has always been you.” Titania turned her head to the side in an
animal-like gesture that reminded Alexia of the Vukovićs she knew. “Oh, child. You still do not see yourself for who you truly are.” Titania reached across the table and took Alexia’s hands into her own. “You are ‘the warrior Skröm,’ die Kriegerin Skröm.”
“And what does that mean exactly?” Alexia asked.
“It means, Alexia Maria, that you will have to make some hard decisions. It means that you are fire, but that you need ice to temper your burn. It means that you are Leader, but you are also Pawn, and you need to make sure you rule instead of letting others continuously push you to the fore. It means so many things, things that you have yet to learn.” Titania patted her hand. “But you will. Your Man Bear will help, and so will that rag-tag group you’ve started putting together. You’re already building what you need to build.”
More war, then? More fighting? More of this day in and day out for eternity? Jesus, she couldn’t do it…she couldn’t do this forever…she would break…no one person could—
“Red, we’ve got this,” Devon whispered, bringing her back to herself. “This is not your burden alone. This is all of our burden. Mine. Yours. The burden of those who are in our community.”
Rage Against the Devil (Wild Beasts Series Book 2) Page 22
