“I’m not saying you confess that you have the hots for Ryder, especially not in front of him. I just think that if you want to pursue something with him that you should think about talking to Herman about changing departments. You can work for Tyler instead of Justine. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
“I don’t have the hots for Ryder,” I defend.
“Whatever you say, Em. I’ve known you long enough to know when you are lying to me and to yourself.” Walking out of the kitchen, Angela peeks her head back around the corner to put her final two cents in. “Plus, I’m pretty sure he has the hots for you too judging by the look on his face when I ‘interrupted’ you two the other day.”
Angela smiles when I flip her off before disappearing again, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
She has a valid point. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I like Ryder as more than just my boss. He’s sexy as hell and charming to boot. I’m not sure what I would have done if he kissed me, but my gut says I would have enjoyed every second of it.
When my phone chimes again, I feel myself grin before I even look at my phone.
IAN: Can we meet again and talk? I promise it’ll be different this time.
Cue the horror music. My smile is lost and my head begins to pound. This has to stop. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to.
He said that if I walked away from him we were done. If he really felt that way, he wouldn’t be messaging me. He needs to let me go, but I don’t think he knows how.
ME: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
IAN: Can’t we even try?
ME: I have tried, Ian. I’m done trying. I’ll be by to get my things this week.
When he doesn’t reply after a few minutes, I pray that he gets the message. We’re over. There’s no chance that we’re getting back together. He can try to convince me all he wants, but he’ll never change.
Angela convinces me to spend the morning at the spa with her. When I agreed, I didn’t realize that she meant after the gym. I’m sweating more than I’ve ever sweat before and aching in places that shouldn’t ache. Thankfully she’s booked us each a massage. I’m going to need it if I plan to walk without looking like an idiot in the near future. Especially tonight, in heels, at the swanky dinner that I’ll be attending with my boss. Mr. Sexy Pants.
I gave him a nickname.
It’s a stupid one, but it’s how I’ll now refer to him when I talk about him in my head from now on. I’d never call him that to his face or admit to anyone I gave him that name.
It’s for me and me alone.
Mr. Sexy Pants.
My boss. My date for the night. The one who’s knocking on my door right now, and I’m not ready yet.
Angela lets Ryder in on her way out. Tyler called and asked her to stop by before she headed to the restaurant. There was a sly grin on her face before she scurried out the door. It wasn’t until I stepped into my dress that I realized why.
Holding my dress against my chest, I peek around the corner into the living room. I’ve zipped it up as far as I can, but I need help, and Ryder is my only option.
“Hey,” I say, smiling at him.
“Hey. Are you ready?”
“Almost. Can you help me with my dress, please?” My cheeks heat as I say the words.
Smiling, Ryder stands, dropping his cell phone on the couch and heads over to where I’m hiding in the hallway.
“Thanks. I got it as far as I could but I have short arms.”
“No problem,” he replies, the zipper slowly moving higher and higher. “Nice tattoo.”
Squeezing my eyes closed, I pray he doesn’t ask any more questions right now. That’s a topic for another night. Or, maybe not. How do you tell your boss about the one night in college you let yourself drink too much and thought it would be a great idea to tattoo your zodiac sign on your shoulder blade?
You don’t tell him. You don’t want him to think you’re irresponsible, or a drunk.
Turning, I smile at Ryder, nodding. “I’m ready,” I announce, louder than necessary. My nerves are getting the best of me.
Extending his elbow, I wrap my hand around it, attempting to keep our bodies as far apart as possible. When I glanced around the corner to ask for help, my jaw almost hit the floor. Ryder’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath and a black bow tie. I’ve seen him in a suit before, but this is different. Maybe it’s because he was sitting on my couch, maybe it’s because of the bow tie, either way, he looks sexier than normal. If that’s even possible. I mean, I’ve seen him with his shirt off, and the way he looks right now is making it hard to breathe.
Ryder is the perfect gentleman. He holds doors open for me, helps me in his truck, and drives like a saint. I’m starting to relax slightly as we jump on the highway, our conversation all business until it takes a sharp turn into dangerous territory.
“So you’re living with Angela. I thought you lived with your boyfriend.”
“I did,” I reply, directing my attention out the window without elaborating. Maybe he’ll take the hint that this is a topic I don’t want to discuss.
“And now you live with Angela. When did you break up?”
Nope. He’s not catching on. Or, if he is, he’s not letting the topic go.
“Last week.”
Ryder keeps probing me for information and I keep my answers short. One or two words. I’m not rude, I just don’t want to discuss my personal life with my boss, even if we are outside the normal working hours.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says as he pulls into the parking garage behind the restaurant.
Looking around, I see plenty of parking spaces. I could have driven myself. There was no real reason for Ryder to pick me up other than the fact that he wanted to.
“For what?” I ask as he shifts his truck into park.
“For prying into your life. I want to get to know you better, but it’s obvious that you don’t want to talk about your boyfriend.”
“Ex-boyfriend,” I reply quickly, correcting him.
“Yeah, him.”
“It’s fine, it’s just recent and raw and I’m still not ready to talk about it with anyone. Not even Angela. And talking to you about it feels weird.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re my boss, Ryder. Do you talk to all your employees about their personal lives?”
“Only the ones I care about,” he replies softly, exiting the cab of the truck before I have a chance to ask what he means.
Silence falls between us as we make our way into the restaurant. We’re the first to arrive which doesn’t surprise me. If Angela was stopping at Tyler’s before dinner, she’s going to be late. I’m surprised Herman wasn’t here to greet us, though. He strikes me as the type of person who shows up early, before anyone else, no matter what time of day or what the occasion is.
Ryder orders us a bottle of wine, white, which surprises me. Everyone I know prefers red wine.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked what kind you like,” he says after the waiter pours us each a glass.
“No, it’s fine. I like pinot grigio. It’s actually my favorite,” I admit.
“Mine too. The rest of my family likes red wine, but it’s too dry for me.”
“Angela and I have fought about this same thing before. She’s a fan of red as well.”
“She and Tyler really are made for each other, aren’t they?”
“I guess,” I reply, taking a sip of water while we wait.
Looking around the restaurant, I spot Angela walk through the front door. I raise my hand to wave when her date for the evening appears from behind her. Either Herman looks really good for his age or he ditched her tonight.
Standing, Ryder greets Ang and Tyler. He’s less surprised to see his brother than I expect. As they take a seat across from us, I gently kick Angela under the table. We’ve played this game before. This is our silent code.
When she smiles at me but makes no attempt
to get up, I kick her again. Harder this time, causing her to grimace. I need answers and she’s going to give them to me right now.
“I’m going to use the restroom before we order,” I announce, the pitch of my voice slightly elevated, giving away the fact that I’m lying.
Ryder slides out of the booth and helps me up. Angela nudges Tyler to let her out as well.
Once we’re safely in behind the doors of the restroom, I begin pestering Angela with questions.
“What the hell, Ang? Why is Tyler here with you? This feels more like a double date than a business dinner.”
“I guess Herman thought Tyler and I would have more fun tonight. He’s not wrong, you know. We’re going to have a great time.” Angela bends down and inspects her shin. There’s a tiny red mark where I kicked her, but she’ll survive. I’ve kicked her harder before.
“But this feels like a date now!” I practically scream at her, my voice echoing off the walls of the empty bathroom.
“It’s not a date, Em. Sure, he picked you up. Yes, he’s paying for everything. Just relax and enjoy the evening. It’s not like you have to take him to bed after.” Angela laughs at her comment as she fixes her hair.
“I can’t believe you just said that,” I remark, making eye contact with her in the mirror. The smirk she’s been sporting lately is plastered across her face.
“Why? Because now you’re thinking about what it would be like?” she retorts, turning the faucet on to wash her hands.
Yes. That’s exactly why. I won’t admit that to her, but now I’m thinking about it. If this were a “real” date with Ryder, I’d be thinking about how the night would end until it was over. Sadly, I’m going to be disappointed tonight.
Chapter Thirteen
As we slide back into the booth, the waiter returns with our bottle of wine and a second bottle of red wine. Tyler pours Angela a glass while of red while Ryder fills my glass with the pinot grigio he ordered. Taking a sip, it’s sweeter than I expect it to be, crisp and light. I like it. Taking a second sip, I look around the table at the company I’m keeping tonight.
My best friend and confidant, and two of the Dixon brothers.
Tall and handsome, Tyler and Ryder may look different and act different, but there’s no denying they’re related. Both have an infectious laugh and a smile that will melt any women’s panties. Thankfully for Angela, Tyler only has eyes for her. Ryder, on the other hand, isn’t tied down anymore. He could have any woman in the room, yet he’s staring at me right now.
“What?” I ask, avoiding eye contact.
“Nothing. If I haven’t said it already, you look beautiful tonight.” His voice is soft, only loud enough for me to hear over the murmur of the guests dining around us.
“Thank you,” I reply, look to Angela for support. She’s ignoring me, watching us out of the corner of her eye but refusing to face me. “Did you know Tyler was coming tonight?”
“I had a feeling,” he replies, shifting in his seat.
All eyes are on me as I reach for my wine. Angela and Ryder are playing it cool, watching me nonchalantly. Tyler, on the other hand, is looking directly at me.
That’s what confirms it. This was a setup.
“So am I the only person who feels awkward about this right now?” I ask louder than necessary. They’ll never admit to it, but I know I’m right.
“About what?” Tyler asks, his eyes darting between me and Ryder.
“About the fact that I’m on a double date with my boss?”
“This isn’t a date,” Angela defends.
“Sure it’s not. Two young couples, eating at a nice restaurant on a Saturday night. What would you call it?” I ask, my irritation with her rising.
She knows how I feel about being set up. I’ve never been a fan of blind dates, double dates, people playing matchmaker. She knows that I have concerns about how I feel about Ryder, even if she doesn’t share those same concerns.
“Emerson,” Ryder says, his voice calm and soothing. “My father made the reservation. I’m sorry if this looks one way. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, and if you’d like to go home, I’ll gladly take you.”
Well, now I feel like an asshole. I don’t want him to think that I don’t like him. I mean, as a person, as my boss. Of course I like working for him.
Pull up those panties, Emerson. You’re a big girl. You can handle having dinner with your colleagues and your best friend. Suck it up. For one night.
Before I can respond, the waiter arrives to take our order. I’m the last to place mine, unprepared for his arrival. After he leaves, I apologize to everyone at the table and reach for the wine bottle, my glass half empty already. Ryder stops me, picking up the bottle to refill my glass.
To ease the tension, Tyler changes the conversation to something less serious. Ten minutes later, we’re laughing about the paintball game and how Ryder and I lost so quickly. Ryder demands a rematch, his finger pointed at Angela as he says it.
Challenge accepted. I have a feeling we’re going to be back on the battlegrounds in the next few weeks. Let’s hope we have better results this time.
The conversation over dinner is just as light and fun. Ryder keeps my glass filled with wine, ordering a second bottle. After he’s finished eating, he relaxes back into the booth, his hand resting behind my head.
It’s not until we’re about to leave that I realize what a nice time I had tonight. After the initial tension I caused was cast aside, the conversation flowed and it was nothing but laughter and good fun. As we make our way to the parking garage, I shoot Angela a pleading look.
I try to convey to her my concerns with my eyes. I’ve had wine. If he takes me home, I won’t be able to resist temptation. I’ll be the idiot that makes a move on her boss and then I’m out of a job. She’s not picking up on my hints.
“We should have our rematch tomorrow,” Ryder announces as we approach his truck. “Are you guys free?”
“Hell yes, we are,” Angela says, looking to me for confirmation. “Wait, did we have plans?” she asks when she sees the look on my face.
“Girls’ night,” I reply. “Plus, I’m getting a headache, too much wine. Can you take me home, Ang?”
“I can take you home,” Ryder says, placing his hand on the small of my back.
A wave of desire washes over me at the thought of his hands exploring other areas of my body. I can feel a smile begin to spread across my face and then Angela slams the door on my ideas.
“I’ll take her,” she says, moving to pull me away from Ryder.
“I thought you were going to stay over tonight,” Tyler says in protest.
“Not if Em needs me. I’ll stay over another night,” Angela replies, pulling me away from our little circle. “See you guys later. Rematch next week,” she screams, her words echoing through the empty garage.
“Thank you,” I say as soon as we’re on the highway.
“Do you really have a headache, or did I just give up sex because you were freaking out?”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s what I thought. Can I ask you something?”
“Do I have to answer?”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Liar. I saw how you reacted when he put his hand on the back of the booth. I saw the way you were looking at him the entire night out of the corner of your eye. You were watching him eat, Emerson. You have it bad, and you won’t even admit it to yourself.”
Was I? I mean, it’s hard not to stare at him, but was I really watching him eat? I doubt it. What did he have again? Oh yeah, asparagus. And steak, medium rare. And mashed red potatoes. Those made his lips glossy.
Shit! I was watching him eat. If Angela noticed, did he?
“I’m a mess, aren’t I?”
“No, you just need to stop lying to yourself. I don’t understand why you won’t go for it. I mean, tonight wasn’t actually a setup. It was last minute, but I thou
ght it would be fun and so I agreed to take Tyler instead of Herman. I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression, but I wasn’t trying to trick you into anything. You can date Ryder if you want, or anyone else for that matter. Things with Ian ended abruptly and maybe you’re not ready yet, but when you are, I hope you won’t ignore the way you feel for Ryder just because you work for him. He’s actually a good guy. And I’m damn near positive he has it bad for you.”
I let Angela’s words sink in as she pulls into the parking lot to our apartment. No matter how hard I try to deny it, I do like Ryder. As more than a boss. More than a friend. More than I should.
I may not be ready for a relationship again, but it couldn’t hurt to see if there was something else there.
I won’t make the first move, though.
That will have to be on him.
And I won’t share my feelings with him.
That would make me look desperate.
I need to make it clear that liking him has nothing to do with his position or his money or anything else. I have a feeling he’s been used in the past. I know for a fact that Megan took advantage of him and he needs to know that I have no intentions of following in her misguided footsteps.
Not that I plan on marrying him.
Or even getting serious with him. I’m getting ahead of myself with this internal monologue. It’s time to shut up and shut down for the night. If that’s even possible.
“Next Saturday,” Angela announces from behind the shower curtain as I brush my teeth.
After dinner last night, I was exhausted. Angela wanted to start planning Tyler’s birthday party, but I wasn’t in the mood to discuss ideas. I’ve been awake for less than an hour and she’s picking our conversation up where we left off.
“I thought his birthday was Sunday?”
“Exactly. We have plans to spend the day together for his birthday. That’s why he’d never suspect a surprise party on Saturday night.”
“And where do you suggest we host this surprise party? It’s not like our apartment can host something as grand as I’m sure you’re thinking.”
Rumors: Emerson & Ryder Page 10
