Ah, he’s trying, she realized. Trying very hard to find a way out of his feelings for me. They’re new and unsettling so he’s rattled. He’s just working out a plan to deal with it. Suddenly, she didn’t feel so bad. The man was turned inside out. Because of her!
“Anyway, I treasure you, Molly. After just one week you truly are indispensable to me. So strictly professional from here on in. And I’ll go after my long-term crush and all this will be a distant memory we won’t even remember to cringe about at the watercooler.”
Humph. Not so fast. If my ridiculous hair and bare face have you this attracted—to the point that you have to do something about it, like try not to be—imagine what spending more time with me will do? And they had a few hours stretched out before them. Just him. Her. And her baby.
And come on—Molly liked her job a lot, but most of the reason was because of her boss. If being his admin would create problems for him, for them, and she understood his reasoning, there were plenty of other jobs out there. Then she’d only have the issue of his block about fatherhood to deal with, and she truly believed that Zeke Dawson was a born dad.
The man’s hands were still on the stroller, and in fact, at the moment, he was making sure Lucy’s buckles were secure and that her pink mittens were on her little hands securely.
Oh, Zeke.
* * *
With all that settled, Zeke sucked in a shallow breath and started pushing the stroller toward the path since he needed to do something.
Why had he actually confessed his feelings to her? What the hell was wrong with him?
Well, he knew what. His feelings for her in the first place. Like his brother had said this morning, Zeke had been kicked upside the head. He wasn’t himself, not one bit. Zeke was usually a cool customer.
Oh, man. He had to get over this. His three or four hours with Molly at the ranch would help. He’d think of her solely as his admin, who he was showing around the property as promised. No worries. Her baby was with them, after all, and everyone, including him and Molly, knew he had no interest in being a father or a family man, so this was just a “winter outing” for the company, like his former employer used to hold every summer. Colleagues gathered at the beach or a park, families invited, cookouts and badminton. This was just like that. And it was just the three of them because he had a two-person office, dammit.
They headed up the path, Noah and Sara’s “foreman” cabin coming into view and, beyond it up the hill, the majestic white farmhouse that he’d grown up in.
Molly stopped for a moment, shielding her eyes from the bright sun as she looked around. “When you told Lucy there’s no more beautiful place than right here, you were absolutely right. And it’s not just the natural beauty. It’s everything. The history, the family legacy.”
He appreciated the change in subject and felt his shoulders relax, a knot unwind. “Very true. I’m thinking about building a house on the land like Rex and Axel did. The property is huge. Axel’s log mansion is five miles out and it’s like he’s in his own town, population three point five.” But that suited Axel, since he led wilderness tours for the ranch and directed guest safety.
She grinned. “The point five for the baby to be?”
He nodded. “But I’m not sure what I want yet. House on the ranch? Or one in town, walking distance to the office? That would be nice. In all seasons. We’ll see. Danica is one of the top Realtors in Bear Ridge. If there’s a house meant for me in town, I’m sure she’ll help me find it.”
“She’s great at her job,” Molly said, then looked up ahead toward the path that veered to the right and the main buildings of the ranch. “I haven’t been here in so long.” She stared up at the farmhouse. “But I feel that old excitement. I used to run to the petting zoo, dying to see the black goats. They were my favorites. There were two.”
“Barnaby and Beatrice. Their great-great-great-great-grandchildren are here now.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “Wow! But how is that possible? Wasn’t the ranch shut down for several years?”
He nodded. “Within a few years of inheriting, my dad had sold most of the animals to pay for his drinking and gambling habits—not listening to reason that he was going to destroy the ranch and have nothing left. But when Noah decided to rebuild, he and Daisy bought many of the animals or their offspring back.”
She seemed to take that all in. “That must have been so hard, watching your dad hurt himself and the ranch.”
Zeke nodded, trying not to let his mind go back to some of those dark times.
“I think losing Leah—his third wife, Noah and Daisy’s mother—just did him in,” Zeke said. “His old fighting spirit went out of him.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t claim to have known Bo Dawson very well. It’s part of what makes me worry about myself as someone’s husband, someone’s father.”
He could feel her looking at him and he glanced toward the barn that housed the petting zoo. Once again, he’d said too much because Molly Orton was too easy to talk to. He could tell her anything.
“I think I know what you mean. Because your dad had his faults, but he also had his good points. It’s not easy to classify someone. People are multifaceted. So maybe you figure that being a good guy like yourself doesn’t mean you’ll win any father of the year of awards. That maybe you, too, will be capable of hurting the people you love most.”
He stopped in his tracks and turned to her, his hands clutching the stroller handles. “How do you do that? How do you always know what I mean when even I’m not sure?”
“Some people just get each other,” she said. “You seem to get me, too.”
He nodded and resumed walking. “That rapport I was talking about.”
But it felt like much more than just rapport. He had rapport with a lot of people. This...chemistry between him and Molly was something else. Back before his sister fell in love with her husband, Daisy used to say she believed her soul mate was out there, and Zeke had dismissed the notion as airy-fairy. But everything that had summed up Daisy’s idea of a soul mate was what he and Molly seemed to have.
Maybe this was what best friendship was. Zeke had had a few close friends over the years, though they’d drifted apart for moves and life shifts. His family had remained the people always there, the people he could count on, no matter what. It was true that Molly was beginning to feel like family.
Except for the fact that he was so attracted to her he could barely drag his eyes off her as they walked.
She’s become your best friend in a very short period of time, he reminded himself. Your indispensable best friend slash admin who runs your office and your schedule and you already can’t do without her. Just focus on getting that first date with Danica and things will fall back to normal. Molly back into the friend zone. Danica into your love life.
A loud bleat sounded and Molly laughed. “Hear that, Lucy? That sounds like a happy lamb to me.”
“Ba la!” Lucy said, waving her arms.
“It’s so great that the Dawson Family Guest Ranch has generations of Dawsons and generations of livestock,” Molly said. “A true family affair all around.”
He smiled. “It is pretty special,” he said as they turned onto the path for the petting zoo. “Circle of life.”
Molly’s warm smile made him want to pull her into a hug and never let her go, but he kept his hands firmly on the stroller, except to raise one to wave at guests and some ranch employees as they headed toward the cafeteria.
Inside the barn, which was heated, they took off their coats, and Zeke almost did a double take at how sexy Molly looked in her off-white sweater and jeans. He did a slight head shake to clear it, telling himself to keep his eyes on her face.
They toured the petting zoo, which wasn’t very crowded with guests since most seemed to be enjoying the warm-ish February day and were likely on horses or out hiking. They’d ju
st gotten to the piglets when Lucy started yawning and by the lambs she was asleep.
“If you’d like her to have a proper nap,” Zeke said, “I have a bassinet in my cabin, which is five seconds away from here. My sister-in-law Maisey used to live there before she and Rex got together, and they decided to leave some baby paraphernalia in the guest room for niece or nephew visitors. That’s how Ford got to babysit just about every one of the little relatives whether he wanted to or not during the short time he lived there.”
“He doesn’t like kids?”
“Oh, he loves his nieces and nephews. But he’s a little stiff around children. Talks to them like adults, that kind of thing. He’s a detective, and he’s always in cop mode, even at kiddie birthday parties.”
She laughed. “Now I understand why he’s the last holdout when it comes to getting married and having kids.”
“And he wants kids. He’s very ready to settle down. Ford will be a great dad, no doubt about it. He basically parented all his younger siblings.”
Molly was studying him. “Huh. Interesting that you see the good father material in him but not yourself.”
A lamb bleated again, so loud that Lucy stirred, her little face crumpling for a second. Thank you, lamb, for that perfectly timed interruption.
“I’d love to take you up on your offer of that bassinet,” Molly said.
Now they’d be alone in his cabin. Not the smartest move, Dawson. How was he supposed to keep his thoughts platonic and professional when she looked so irresistibly sexy? All day he’d looked at her, into her brown eyes, and once or twice felt himself go weak in the knees.
Every time he thought he had a handle on his feelings for Molly, he found himself right back in the danger zone.
Chapter Eight
“This place is really cute,” Molly said, looking around the small, cozy cabin that Zeke was calling home for now. There was a plush tan sofa and love seat, a huge sisal rug and a stone fireplace, plus two small bedrooms—one of which Lucy was sleeping peacefully in. She sat down on one end of the couch.
Zeke kneeled by the fireplace and put a log in and lit it, making the cabin even cozier. Romantic, she thought, staring into the flames. Of course, that obviously wasn’t his intention, but still. “I’ve been staying here just a couple of days, but so far it’s tipping the scales toward building on the ranch.”
“Well, I can see why. The place is gorgeous and your family is here. You’ve got the river to the east and the mountains to the west, and all this wide open space.”
He moved over to the wide front window, snow-covered evergreens in the distance. The cabin faced the ranch and seemed to be about a quarter mile from the lodge and cafeteria, but was set far back along the tree line that led to the mountains so that the immediate area was private. “Takes almost a half hour to get to town, though. I got used to walking to work in Cheyenne. I lived and worked downtown.”
She wanted to know everything about his years in Cheyenne. “Do you miss it?”
He turned to face her but stayed by the window. Keeping his distance? Probably. “Nah. Which surprises me because I’ve lived there the past thirteen years and always thought it was home. But it wasn’t. This is home.”
“Bear Ridge is definitely home for me, but my house isn’t. I mean, I live there, but it’s not home. It’s just the place I moved after the divorce. I couldn’t stand the idea of living in the house I used to with my ex, so we sold that. Danica showed me a few houses but not a single one felt right. So I’ve been renting all this time. She’s always sending me links to listings, but nothing that makes me want to see it.”
Neither of them could figure that out. Why would she rather rent than buy? She was throwing away money, wasn’t she?
He walked over to the club chair perpendicular to the sofa and sat down. Yup—definitely social distancing from her. “Sounds like something is missing—maybe what you envisioned living in your forever home would be like.”
The all-too familiar lonely blues gripped her for a moment. Some mornings, especially when she came downstairs to make coffee before Lucy woke up, she’d feel empowered and all “your life is your own,” and sometimes she felt so alone she could cry—and would. “You know, I think that’s it. That makes complete sense. Plus, I’m the first person in my family to get divorced. No one makes me feel weird about it, but I still do. Took me so long to get married that I thought I’d be married till I was ninety-two.”
“Maybe buying a house as a single mom makes you feel like you’re signing up for that life forever,” he said.
She thought about that for a few seconds, then shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. But I am a single mom and this is my life. I should be living for now not for some maybe future.”
“At least you know you want to get remarried. You know what you want.”
Hmm, she thought, trying not to study every nuance of his expression, which was actually very neutral. Maybe he was more ambivalent about marriage and family than dead set against it. Perhaps that was why he’d said it was possible that the right woman could turn him around. That definitely gave her more to work with.
“I want love and partnership,” she said. “The universal stuff everyone needs.”
“Even though it clearly doesn’t mean it’ll work out?”
“My motto is ‘once burned, choose more wisely next time.’ That’s how I altered that saying.”
He laughed. “You’re smart, Molly Orton. But when it comes to women, I’m an idiot. I got so duped back in Cheyenne I don’t even trust myself to choose wisely.”
Her chest ached for the heartache he’d been through. She envisioned him walking through city streets, alone and hurting, so far from his family, from everything that could bring him instant comfort.
And something made a little more sense to her now. Something she’d been thinking about, wondering about. She wasn’t sure she should say it, though.
“Out with it,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her with a wary smile. “I can see those brown eyes working.”
“Well, what you just said about not trusting yourself to choose wisely. I figure that might be why you’re so focused on the old dream, the old crush. It lets you off the hook. Whether or not Danica is right for you isn’t really the point. She’s a placeholder.”
All remnants of the smile were gone. “What?” he asked, staring at her.
Oh, boy. Talk about “personal nitty-gritty.” Well, you started it, Molly, so you might as well keep going and explain yourself. “I think you’re stuck right now, Zeke. And just when you needed something to jolt you, you heard Danica was single and that helped you decide to move back home so that you could finally have your shot at the woman of your dreams. Your focus is on the old because it’s safe and probably not gonna happen, just like it never did before.”
He did not look pleased with her analysis. At all.
“I don’t agree,” he said. “There’s nothing safe about uprooting your life. There’s nothing safe about going for a dream, no matter how old.”
She bit her lip, considering that. “That’s very true. I just meant—”
“Maybe we should change the subject, Molly.” He leaned back, glancing out the window. Then anywhere but at her.
She’d definitely struck a nerve.
“Want some coffee?” he asked, his expression anything but neutral now.
“Zeke, I’m sorry. I overstepped. We just start talking and, like you said, we can talk about anything and it gets very real very fast. So honesty just pours out of my mouth.”
Except for the biggest truth of all. That I love you.
“Honesty is good,” he said.
He could have called her out on her own holding pattern. Living in the rental when she had a down payment sitting in the bank. Waiting for her future instead of living her present. She hadn’t realized she’d been doing that
.
“I’ll skip coffee. I’ll wait for that cafeteria lunch you mentioned. I remember having the best chili of my life in the ranch caf. And great omelets and crispy bacon.”
He brightened at the change of subject. “The chef—Cowboy Joe—is the best. Everyone raves about his cooking. Did you know he married a guest? Ranch romances aren’t that common. Well, except for the Dawsons. Noah got together with his wife, Sara, when she was hired as foreman—forewoman. Daisy met her husband when he was a guest. Axel’s wife, Sadie, was also a guest here for a family reunion—it’s her aunt who married Cowboy Joe. And Rex’s wife, Maisey, is the head nanny at the ranch.”
“Well, you and Danica would break the pattern, so that’s a no go,” she said on a chuckle, then mentally slapped her forehead for that one. She didn’t need to put Danica in his head any more than she was already.
“True,” he said with a smile. “I suppose if she helps me find a house in town, we’ll be a town romance instead of a ranch romance.”
“I don’t see it,” Molly blurted out, then clamped her mouth shut.
Oh, foo. She hadn’t meant to say it, but dammit, she’d been thinking it.
He tilted his head. “What do you mean? Are you saying you don’t see Danica and me as a couple? Is that why you were being kind of negative about me and her before?”
She bit her lip. “I don’t know why I said that. I take it back.” He had to know she had feelings for him since she’d made it clear the kiss had been welcome. Maybe he was deliberately not going there since he’d decided they couldn’t be and that he’d focus on his original crush: Danica.
“No, you said it for a reason.”
Yes, because I see us together.
“Well, you two don’t seem like peas in a pod,” Molly finally said. “But that doesn’t mean anything,” she found herself adding because he did seem to value her opinion. “It’s all about chemistry, right?”
“Exactly. So Danica and I aren’t peas.” He glanced out the window again and seemed to be thinking. “Maybe you should give me more intel. I’ve noticed her around town a couple times the past week—both times with a man. So she’s definitely still dating. What is she looking for in a guy?”
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