by Andrian, V.
I swat at his arm playfully. “I certainly did realize it, thank you very much.” I lift my head a little to kiss his delectable lips. “And I’m definitely down for doing that again in a while. But why would you have hurt me?”
He frowns a little. “I wasn’t exactly gentle just now, Cassandra. I’m pretty sure I held you tightly enough to bruise your skin.” His voice lowers and he comes to hover less than an inch above my mouth. “And you are so tight, baby, I may have bruised your beautiful pussy too.”
Nope. It wasn’t due to lack of sex that I got so turned on every time he spoke to me like he is now. It’s him. He turns me on as simply as that, just by saying a filthy word. It’s like he’s speaking directly to my hormones and my libido. But I’m good at dirty talking too.
I grab the back of his head and hold him close to me. “Baby, you just fucked me so hard I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to walk straight again. But I loved it. Now, can I please have some more?”
He chuckles and kisses me again just as I feel his beautiful cock twitching between us. His kisses though remain soft and sweet and he’s not making a move to take things further. He’s enjoying the moment and I’m suddenly terrified. Terrified that I may already be leaving a part of my heart behind when I go.
He senses my sudden stiffness and pulls back with a small frown. As he studies my face, I’m slightly curious as to what exactly he’s seeing there. Whatever it is, he doesn’t ask me and I don’t let him either way. I pull him back on my lips, kissing him hard, forcing him to do the same and trying to shove back down this feeling of dread at leaving him. Because I can’t possibly be already addicted to him. This is just temporary, just for a few days until my leg is healed. And if I am… well, fuck it. I don’t care. I’m a big girl and I’ll be okay. As long as I get as much of him as I can now.
Chapter Ten
When I wake up I feel so sated it doesn’t even feel real. I’m on the bed, on my side, with my swollen ankle less swollen and placed on Damon’s calf. He is lying behind me on his side, his one arm a pillow under my head and his other wrapped around my waist. He is holding me tightly against his chest and his breathing is calm and rhythmic. His face is buried in my hair and nuzzling the nape of my neck.
We stayed up nearly all night. He made wild love to me again and again, stopping only to regain control of our breathing but never stopping kissing me, touching me, worshipping me. Apparently, when he said he didn’t do gentle he only meant during sex because before and after he was always gentle. And – God – his filthy mouth. He never stopped telling me how good I felt. How his cock was going to stretch my pussy wide until I could feel him even when he wasn’t inside me. How I was so tight he felt every inch of me stroking every inch of him. How I was the best thing he’d ever felt.
That last one struck too close to my heart though and I demanded that he made me come right now. And he obliged me. And I came hard. And every time I did it was more powerful than before, filling every inch of me with pleasure. It was by far the best night of my life. How am I ever going to walk away?
Not wanting to think about it right now, I push my back further into him and his hold on me tightens. I rub my cheek on his forearm like a cat and buck my hips. His morning wood is pressing hard against my ass and I feel wetness gathering between my legs at the erotic feel of him.
He groans into my neck and thrusts forward in a lazy, sleepy move. “This feels good,” he says gruffly. Oh, he sounds so sexy in the morning.
I push again into his groin and feel him jerk against me. “You want me to keep doing it?”
He lowers a hand and cups my sex roughly, pulling me harder on him. “Definitely. But I meant it feels good waking up like this. With the sexiest woman I’ve ever met wrapped in my arms.”
I don’t know how to react. I’m a little emotional at the moment so I’m just going to go ahead and keep doing what I’m doing. I rub against him, earning another deep groan. His fingers start working my clit, diving between my folds and spreading my wetness. Soon I’m panting and surrendering to him entirely. He pulls back and then pushes forward again, with his cock now between my thighs.
“Take me, Cassandra. Put my cock in your pussy.”
I whimper but do as he says. He’s so hot and hard in my hand and I can’t resist stroking him first once. When he groans I do it again. I feel like I’m the one in control now.
“Fuck, baby. Put me inside you now,” he growls.
Nope. He’s got all the control still.
I settle the head of his cock between my folds and he pushes forward until I’m deliciously full. He groans again, mumbling a curse and I decide I want to tease him a bit. I grind up against him and find his thumb from the hand under my head and suck it into my mouth.
“Oh, baby, that’s so hot,” he murmurs and starts thrusting. His moves though aren’t hard and fast. It’s like he’s taking his time, like he wants to feel every inch of our bodies touching. Or maybe this is how Damon operates when waking up and it’s just a lazy morning fuck. It’s amazing but right now I want more. I want him to be hard and rough because I don’t think I can handle sweet and slow. He’s not supposed to be able to do sweet and slow, dammit!
“Harder,” I pant as I push back in tandem with his thrusts.
“Ssh, baby. I want to enjoy every second.”
Oh, fuck. I can’t handle this. “Damon, please.” My voice breaks and I think he understands because he stops completely. Oh, God, let him not say something that will make me crumble…
He pushes up on his elbow and leans down to place his lips on my temple near my ear. “I will make this good, baby. Let me make this good for you like this. Let me feel you like this.”
Oh shit. I can’t… “Damon… I don’t know if I…”
“I know,” he whispers and starts moving again, as soft and slow as before. “I know. Me too.” He kisses my forehead and keeps making love to me. “Me too.”
I can’t hold it back anymore. The emotion is clogging me and I just can’t hold it back anymore. So I let go. I let go and I just feel him. And he slowly builds me up until I climax in a slow wave that breaks me apart into tiny shreds. And he’s picking every single one and putting me back together as he comes with a soft groan.
He presses his forehead in the crook of my neck. “You will leave,” he says softly. “You will leave and I will stay. But this… this is the most real I’ve ever felt, Cassandra. I don’t want to hurt you. Never hurt you. I just want… I want the most I can get. Does that make me selfish?” He lifts up and looks down at me.
“It does,” I say softly as tears start falling from my eyes. “But it’s okay because I’m feeling pretty selfish myself.”
His hand comes up and wipes at my tears. “Let me take you for a bath then?”
I laugh through my tears. “I can walk you know.”
“No, you can’t. You need to rest your ankle.”
“So, what? You’re going to be carrying me around the whole time I’ll be here?”
He smiles wolfishly and I melt a little bit more. “Or we can stay in bed the whole time.”
“No,” I chastise him mockingly. “Bad caveman. You need to feed me.”
“Caveman?” he asks with a cocked eyebrow.
I shrug as I feel my face burn. “You were very intimidating at first. With the long hair and beard and your brooding behavior and few words. ‘Stay.’ ‘Eat.’ You were like a caveman.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “And you said that to mock me?” He imitates an animalistic growl and shoves his face in my neck, rubbing his short beard there and growling some more.
“Stop!” I yell as I laugh hard. “Stop, Damon. It tickles!”
He pulls back with sparkling eyes and a huge grin. “Come on, Miss Hale. Let’s get you to your bathtub.”
I watch Damon as he stalks in the spring towards me. A thrill courses through me that flutters in my stomach and clenches my heart. He is so gorgeous. His now-short beard doesn’t hide t
he masculine shape of his jaw and his short hair just looks so good on him. His grayish-green eyes are gleaming with arousal but his protruding cock steals the show in that department.
He’s just so fucking gorgeous. And I’m falling hard and fast.
He reaches me and wraps his arms around me. He’s always mindful of my foot and now he lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his hips. Or maybe he’s just doing it for his own benefit since now I’m pressed against his cock and his palms are holding my ass firmly.
“So what did you think of me when you found me?” I ask after I kiss him softly.
“That you are beautiful,” he says immediately. “Even with all the smudges and scratches from the crash you were stunning. I couldn’t take my eyes off that freckle you have here.” He caresses said freckle at the corner of my left cheekbone and I shudder. “When I was bandaging your leg I went rock-hard so fast from just the softness of your skin. I was in agony all these days.”
“Well, to your defense, you have been out here for seven years.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, well maybe it was also because of that.” He goes serious again. “But I mean it when I say you are hands down the most gorgeous—”
I cut him off with a kiss. I lick his lips and he growls as I feel him twitch between us. With a swift movement, he lifts me up and I grab his shaft to position him at my entrance. When he lowers me down, impaling me on his steel rod, we both moan in pleasure.
“You don’t like me saying you’re beautiful, Cassandra?” he says through gritted teeth and he starts lifting me up a little and then letting me slide down again as he thrusts up. “You don’t want to hear how I’ve been thinking about doing exactly this since the first night I had you sleeping in my bed? How I’ve been thinking like a real caveman and want to keep you here forever? How you’ve made me consider going back just so I can have a little more time with you?”
“Damon…” I pant in despair. He needs to stop talking because I don’t think I can hold back the tears this time either. And the way he’s building my pleasure up fast, I’m about to explode any moment now.
“No,” he says gruffly without stopping. He thrusts up hard and I cry out when his pelvis grinds on my clit. “You need to listen because you are doing all that to me and more. You’ve made me feel again and it’s exciting me as much as it pisses me off. Because now I’m going to fucking miss you when you leave.” His grip on me turns almost brutal but it’s the sweet kind of pain and it gets me even higher. “So now you’re going to come hard and give me your screams, Cassandra. Come, baby. I can feel you already starting to milk me. Come for me.”
One final thrust up and I’m gone, exploding into millions of white lights and I throw my head back and scream his name just as tears start flowing from my eyes. He groans and thrusts hard a few more times and then he’s coming inside me with my name a low moan on his lips. I drop my face on his shoulder and he nestles his in the crook of my neck, licking and nibbling while his cock is still jerking inside me. My sobs are silent but I know he can feel my tears sliding down his skin.
When he finally regains his breath, he pulls out of me only to pull me back in his arms. I can feel his heart beating fast as he lays my face on his chest and I hold him as tightly as I can.
“I can’t ask you to come back without making you think it’s a trick but I wish I could. I wish I could tell you…” I trail off. I don’t want to finish that sentence because what I feel will become more real. More hurtful.
His hands come up behind my back and he cups my head, tilting it back so he can look in my eyes. “I don’t want you to ask me to come back because I’m not ready to do that. I’ve found peace here, Cassandra and it’s not easy to let that go when I’ve been looking for it my whole life. But that’s the only reason why I don’t want you asking. I trust you. In fact you are the only person I trust. When I accused you of tricking me it was the fear talking. But I trust you. Okay?”
I nod but have to swallow the rest of my words. I just lift up on the toes of my left foot and kiss him softly. He slants my head and kisses me deeper, stealing the last part of me as he does. When he pulls back nibbling at my lower lip, I have the craziest idea.
“I could stay,” I say breathlessly, searching his face. “I could just go and find a phone, tell Layla I’m okay and then come back to you.”
He squeezes his eyes shut. “No, Cassandra. You need to go back to your life, to your job, to your friends. You said your best friend is expecting. You don’t want to miss that.”
“But I don’t want to leave you here alone either. Layla will understand. I can see the baby later, when you’ll be ready to go back.” What am I saying? The craziest part is I’m actually starting to believe I could do that.
“What if I’m never ready?” he asks softly. I can see in his eyes though the longing my offer brings. The need to have me – to have someone – with him. He wipes at my cheeks and looks down at me intently. “You can’t stay.”
I shake my head and offer him a devious smile. “So you’re saying no to having sex every day? Because that’s basically what I’m offering, you know.”
He smiles but it’s sad. “You’re not offering just that and you know it. I can’t let you stay. You need to go back.” He lowers his mouth to mine. “And who knows? Maybe if you go I’ll change my mind and come after you.”
I brush my lips over his and smile. “No. I think I’ll stay.”
Suddenly he pulls back and looks at me hard. “Stop. You’re not staying. As soon as your ankle is better, I’m getting you to the nearest place with a phone.”
I frown. “Okay. Do you realize it’s my choice? If I want to stay—”
“I don’t want you to stay!” he yells, pulling back. I have to act fast because he’s suddenly not supporting my weight and I try to put most of it on my left foot. “Jesus, Cassandra. Do I have to spell it out for you? Is that what you want? I. Don’t. Want. You. Here. This is the life I’ve chosen and I want to do it alone. It doesn’t matter what you say or what you do, it won’t change. You can’t stay.”
My head is throbbing all of a sudden and I feel my stomach turning. The desperation in his eyes is confusing me at the same time it makes everything clearer. He means it when he says he doesn’t want me here with him even though deep down I know he wishes I would stay.
With what’s left of my heart in my throat, I press my lips together and give him a soft nod. If he doesn’t want me here then I can’t stay. It was a crazy plan after all. The only problem is it was the only chance I had to remain somewhat whole. Now it won’t happen.
I turn my back, unable to look at him another moment without breaking apart. I prefer to do it silently and when I’m alone. The hot water of the spring isn’t warming me anymore and I feel cold and numb. How stupid am I? To fall in love with an unattainable man – a caveman – and then ruin it. I start to walk out of the spring, letting the cool air numb me even more.
He doesn’t say a word. I don’t look at him but I know he’s still in the spring, watching me as I wipe my body and put my clothes back on. I’m shaking but it’s not from the cold. I don’t actually feel anything yet. As soon as I’m dressed, I start down the path towards the cabin. I’m stumbling mostly and I know Damon would carry me if I asked him but I don’t care. I just want to go back to bed and sleep. Yeah, that’s a good plan.
I’ve taken ten steps when I hear him coming up behind me and then he’s lifting me in his arms. He still doesn’t say anything though. It looks like the silent, broody Damon is back. Yea me. I let him carry me and loop my arms around his neck while I drop my head on his shoulder. His grip on me is strong and I feel some of my body’s heat return. God, I need this. I need him for as long as I can have him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It was a crazy idea, I know. We agreed it’s okay to be selfish and I was just trying to find ways to get more of you. More of this.”
He doesn’t answer for a long moment and I feel my heart tremble. Please, Damon.
Please, don’t let things end like that.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have taken things further in the first place,” he murmurs sadly. “Maybe I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be selfish.”
“Maybe,” I agree. “But we both know there’s no turning back and I wouldn’t change it even if we could. I don’t regret this. I don’t regret finding you. I don’t regret being with you. I don’t regret falling for you.”
He sucks a deep breath but remains silent. And I know why. Because he does regret. And my heart just stops beating.
Chapter Eleven
The cabin is eerily quiet. Not even the fire is crackling. Oh, no. There it is. I breathe in slowly, waiting to hear Damon’s rhythmic breath but I don’t. I know when I turn around he won’t be in the cabin. He’s probably outside, cutting logs and staying away from me. Away from the crazy woman that told him she is in love with him after knowing him for a week and a half.
Last night he didn’t say anything else. He was really back to being silent Damon. He made me dinner but didn’t eat any himself. He made sure my foot was wrapped in the cloth-bandages and splint, even gave me a small massage but not a word. And I didn’t know if it was for better or for worse. I thought I would have a few more days with him but apparently my big mouth ruined that as well.
I sit up, determined to fix things. My stupid heart needs him and I know he wants me – at least physically. I can give us that if I make things right, just for a few more days. Maybe I can think of another crazy plan to make him fall in love with me too so that he will come back with me. No matter what, I need to fix things again between us.
I limp to the door and step outside. There is no sound other than that of nature. No axe chopping wood, no evidence of a man being around.
“Damon?” I call out once hesitantly. If he’s not close enough to hear, I don’t want to risk any wild animals being attracted instead.
No answer and I’m starting to get a feeling in my stomach that’s not good. Instead of going out to look for him, I decide to pull the chair outside and wrap the blanket around me. I will sit and wait. He will come back eventually and he will have no choice but to hear me out.
