by J L Taft
“What is it?” she finally asked, nervously running her fingers up and down the stem of her wine glass. I usually wasn’t so obvious but she’d caught me off guard. Again.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help the staring. You’re a very beautiful woman.”
Rolling her eyes, she took a healthy sip from her glass. Not a reaction I was accustomed to having but I liked that she did the unexpected.
“Why did you invite me out tonight, Ryker?” she asked.
“I’ll make a deal with you—answer a question for me and then I’ll answer yours.”
“All right, that’s fair enough.”
Her answer surprised me. She might be small but she wasn’t frightened easily. I imagined some of my lady friends would have burst into tears when I made my demand in the truck, or they would have been pissed but Allie just took it in stride. I had a feeling her soft, curvy outside hid a backbone of steel.
The server came with our breadbasket and salads, halting our conversation.
Once we were alone again I asked, “Why don’t you like sex, Allie?”
She sighed and set back down her fork. “Would you mind answering my question first?”
I couldn’t see why it made a difference but I could go with it. “All right. I asked you out because, regardless if you believe me or not, you are beautiful. But after your dash into that building and your matter-of-fact statement that you don’t like sex I couldn’t help being curious.”
“So you asked me out because I’m strange enough to make you curious?” she asked, her brow wrinkling in obvious confusion. Her expression was kinda cute.
“Not exactly. For the first time, I’ve found myself wanting to get to know someone instead of just having a night of mutual pleasure.” It was as honest as I could be.
“How can you be sure the pleasure is mutual?” she fired back at me.
“Believe me, babe, I know. It’s always mutual,” I uttered, lowering my voice to make sure we weren’t overheard. She’d attempted a direct hit at my manhood but I wasn’t offended.
I watched as her cheeks went pink and her lips parted as she licked them. My slacks tightened and I shifted slightly.
“Your turn,” I prodded gently.
Damn, there was something between us that was gaining in intensity every second she was near. It was really powerful and we were only on the salads. I took a sip of wine and stared at her over the rim of my glass.
“I’m not sure why you’re so curious about it but I just don’t.”
“There must be a reason,” I urged. Her dislike of sex could be caused by any number of things and I wanted to know why she felt that way. Even if I didn’t want to look too closely at why I wanted to know so badly.
“I guess, if I’m being truthful,” she began, “I just find it disappointing.”
“Disappointing how?” I asked. If she was into the things that happened at Eclipse, I couldn’t imagine every experience to be that much of a letdown. Most of the men there prided themselves on taking their women to amazing heights. But I had only seen her there once and she hadn’t hooked up with anyone. I knew I had to tell her I had seen her there. I had a feeling she’d view that omission as a lie.
She took a nibble of breadstick, chewed slowly and then said, “The whole idea of spending time with someone, going on awkward dates, not having sex until you know him better…all that stuff is a waste of time. The men I’ve come across have been selfish, expecting me to give them everything and while they give nothing back in return,” she told me quietly.
I took a moment to think about what she said. True, dates could get awkward and every man had a different expectation. But I was still somewhat confused.
“What do you mean, you get nothing in return?” I asked.
The server appeared beside the table with our dinners, momentarily stopping our conversation. We ate in silence for a few minutes before I couldn’t stand it anymore. Dying with curiosity, I wanted details.
She sighed and leaned forward in her chair and I did the same, bringing our faces closer.
“Is this conversation going to stay between us?” she asked. “The last thing I need is to be the brunt of all the jokes at the fire department.”
I reached for her hand and her gaze lifted to mine. I felt the jolt of our gazes clashing sizzle down into the pit of my stomach.
“Of course, everything stays between us. The guys do like to joke around but they’re harmless and I don’t tell them everything,” I replied.
Her eyebrows came together and a couple pearly teeth came down to chew on her pink lip. I knew she was deciding whether or not to trust me—I was already starting to learn her facial expressions.
I wondered who had betrayed this woman so badly that she wouldn’t open up to anyone. Her reticence reminded me of myself.
Still she hesitated and I reached for her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“I’ve never…” she began quietly, glancing around us, “you know, finished with a man.”
Chapter Three
It took me a minute to realize what she was saying and when I did, shock didn’t begin to describe the emotion racing through me.
“I’m very sorry to hear that,” I told her quietly.
Her face flushed as I stared at her and I decided to let her off the hook for now. She was tense and uneasy all of a sudden and I wanted her to relax with me again.
Changing the subject, I asked her about her favorite music and movies, and we discussed all the normal things people chatted about on first dates. It had been years since I’d sat and actually talked to a woman. Suddenly the old first-date routines didn’t seem so boring.
She was funny, spouting out short, sarcastic quips whenever the conversation got awkward. Allie was as cynical as I was about relationships and their worth. But we had both reacted to the breakups and heartache differently.
I had done almost the exact opposite of what she’d done. My aversion to relationships caused me to have sex only with women who already knew the score, to keep things light and easy so they didn’t expect anything when the night was over.
I found myself telling Allie things I hadn’t spoken of for years and some things I’d never talked about. I told her about losing my older brother in a fire my first year on the job and about the woman who had broken my heart in college by sleeping with my roommate.
I discovered Allie wasn’t close to her parents and had moved out here after she found her sister in bed with her fiancé. I offered to kick his ass and she assured me she would give me his address, making me laugh.
As I watched her finish her meal, I knew she was the kind of woman who would expect more. Unless I could convince her otherwise…but I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to do that.
I liked that she actually ate her food. She seemed to enjoy it too, if her soft moan when the first bite of creamy white sauce and pasta hit her tongue was anything to go by. We’d both just finished eating and I was still half hard from the sound.
“Want to go for a walk?” I asked after I had taken care of the bill and she had finished her wine.
“I’d like that,” she replied.
I held out my hand to help her to her feet. I felt the same quick jolt of lust as we touched. Placing my hand low on her back, I led her from the restaurant. I felt her suck in a breath as I trailed my palm over the top of her ass.
I dropped my hand and grabbed her fingers as we started to walk.
“So, I remembered where I knew you from,” I said conversationally.
“Really? I thought last night that I had seen you before,” she told me, stopping and looking up at my face, her brow wrinkled as if she were still trying to place me in her memories.
“Last weekend at Eclipse?” I asked, curious as to what her reaction would be.
She looked shocked for a second, her eyes widening and her lips parting. I had the sudden urge to really shock her and kiss her until she was breathless. But I held back.
She turned and sa
t down on one of the benches that lined the wide sidewalk. I took a seat next to her, propping my arm up to brush against her shoulders. I saw her shiver; she wasn’t completely unaffected by me.
“Is that why you asked me out? Because you saw me there?” she asked.
I debated my answer but honesty won out. “It’s one of the reasons, yes. But not the only reason.”
I trailed a finger along her arm and her gaze caught mine.
“I should probably tell you, that was the first time I’ve been to a place like that.”
“I expected as much,” I answered with a chuckle. She had no idea how much she had stood out at Eclipse. She had taken everything in with wide eyes. It was one of the things that made her so irresistible to me.
She chuckled as well and the sound of it ran over me. I had it bad for this woman.
“I went with a friend who goes there frequently. She was hoping the excitement of being in that kind of an environment would make me change my mind about sex,” she confided quietly.
“Did it?” I couldn’t help asking.
“I admit it was…different,” she finally said. I wasn’t satisfied with the answer.
“Allie?” I waited until she looked at me before I continued. “I’ve already promised that everything you say is between us. Tell me the truth. What did you think?”
She sighed, a habit I was coming to realize she did when she didn’t want to answer. “Why do you want to know?”
It was my turn to sigh. I didn’t want to tip my hand and tell her too soon what I wanted and scare her off but she might just walk away now if I didn’t say something.
But her gaze lowered to my mouth, for just a few seconds, and when she looked back up I saw the lust there. Allie was hiding a passionate nature behind her cool reserve. Some asshole had hurt her, maybe more than one, and I suddenly wanted to track them all down and give them the ass kicking of their lives.
Protecting people was normal for me but this felt different, raw and primal. I wanted to right the wrongs that had been done to her and the desire hit me hard and settled deep.
Her lips parted and her sweet breath whooshed out against my face. I watched her carefully as I leaned in. She smelled amazing and I took a deep breath to draw her in, enjoying the sensation of her filling my senses. I brushed her lips gently, once and then twice, before applying a little more pressure.
She swayed closer and I hooked my arm loosely around her back. Her lips were so soft and I didn’t resist the urge to trace them with my tongue. She let out a little moan in the back of her throat and my cock jumped to life.
I backed off for a second, taking in her short breaths and the pounding of her heart, revealed by the pulse beating in her neck. Her eyes opened slowly and her pupils dilated. I couldn’t stop myself from leaning in and taking her lips again.
Desire for her hit me hard and I found myself struggling to keep it under control, something I had never done. Her hot, wet tongue suddenly stroked mine and I lost all train of thought, our surroundings faded and we may have been the only two people in the world in that moment.
As I sank into the kiss, our tongues tangled in a slow, passionate dance, perfectly timed, as if we had been doing this for years together. A low moan escaped from me as voices reached us from others walking our way.
I was suddenly jerked back into reality and Allie’s eyes popped open. She looked a bit shell-shocked and visions of her spread out on my bed, limp and satisfied, stretched across my mind.
She wanted me. Whether she was willing to admit it or not.
“Allie?” I uttered, after clearing my throat.
“Yes,” she answered breathlessly.
“I want you,” I blurted out.
She immediately started distancing herself from me on the bench. I grabbed her hands to stop her.
“Just hear me out, will you? And then if you still never want to see me again, I’ll try to accept it and leave you alone.”
I waited for her to nod before I went on.
“It’s unacceptable that you’ve never had an orgasm with a man. For you to share your beautiful body and be left hanging is the worst kind of selfishness.”
She widened her eyes and I knew she was a bit surprised at my straightforwardness.
“I don’t know why but it matters to me. You matter to me. If you would risk it just once more, with me, I promise not to let you down. Give me tonight.”
She stared at me for long moments before asking, “Are you just saying these things to get into my panties?”
I laughed and then caught her gaze. “I absolutely am. But it’s also all true. You are beautiful, sexy and I want to get my fingers in your hair, I want to feel it brush on me as I thrust in and out of you. I want to feel you come all over me, on my face, my fingers, my cock.” I whispered close to her ear.
She groaned and stood suddenly. “I don’t know why I’m even considering this, Ryker,” she told me as she ran her hands through her hair, something I recognized as a nervous gesture.
“You’re considering it because deep down, you know I won’t let you down.” I gave her a few minutes to think about it. I could have stood and pulled her into my arms, kissing her until she couldn’t remember her name let alone what her doubts had been, but I didn’t want her to wake up and regret being with me. I wanted it to be her choice. She wouldn’t make the decision lightly and she wasn’t the type to do something like this often, which only made me want her more.
“What happens in the morning?” she asked after several long seconds.
“Everything, nothing. Let’s see what happens,” I told her but I already knew how this would play out. We would have our night together, I would restore her faith in men and we would go our separate ways.
Crossing her arms over her chest, she stood staring at me intently. “All right, Ryker. I’ll give you tonight.”
I felt the tension in my shoulders relax and I let out a breath of relief. Standing, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her, quick and deep. When I pulled back, her eyes had gone hazy with desire.
“Your place or mine?” I asked.
She chuckled. “I’ve never been asked that before.”
I pulled her tightly against my side and led her in the direction of my car.
“I have a feeling tonight is going to be a night of firsts, for both of us. Let’s go to my place.” The words had me pausing in midstride.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, fine,” I said as I started walking again, leading her to the truck. Shaking off the idea that we should go to her apartment, I opened the passenger door and helped her in, getting a great view of her perfect ass as she climbed up.
It wasn’t a big deal to take her to my place, was it? Just because I hadn’t had a woman there before didn’t mean anything. I didn’t want to be in an apartment with neighbors on the other side of the wall while we were having sex. Sometimes I could get noisy. Taking her to my house on the outskirts of town was the only logical choice.
I strode around to the driver’s side, jumped in and cranked the engine to life. The sound matched what I was feeling and I had a hard time not speeding on the way home.
We didn’t waste any time getting to the front door. She had sent me a few shy smiles under her lashes, something I found incredibly sexy every time she did it.
Handing her my key, I busied myself behind her, sweeping her hair to the side and nuzzling her neck.
Allie’s hands betrayed her nerves as she tried to insert the key in the door lock. Placing my hand over hers, I held her steady and slid in the key. I never thought something like opening a door could make me hot, but it did…with her, it did.
Her gaze caught mine and I could see she was thinking the same thing I was, about other things sliding in as smooth and perfectly. I followed her in and closed the door behind us, relocking it.
Her gaze darted around the room, landing everywhere but on me, and I realized I couldn’t rush her. Well, I could but I did
n’t want to. I wanted to keep my promise and if I took her to bed now, there would be no guarantees.
“Do you want something to drink? I have wine and some beer in the fridge. Or maybe something stronger?” I wasn’t much of a drinker but it would give me time to ease her into it, even if my body was telling me to throw her over my shoulder and pin her to the nearest bed.
“Whatever you’re having is fine,” she replied quietly.
“All right,” I said as I caught her arm and spun her around and against my chest, all in one quick move.
She sucked in a breath the second before I covered her mouth with mine. I wasn’t gentle this time, diving right in and demanding instant access past her lips. She moaned low and I went deeper, dueling with her tongue. I nipped her lips playfully before releasing her. But she didn’t move away; her hands stayed clutching my shirtfront and she looked up at me dazedly.
I grinned at her and she smiled back, making strange feelings take hold in my chest.
“Have a seat,” I told her, giving her a nudge toward the couch before heading into the kitchen.
I returned with two glass of red wine to find Allie had kicked her shoes off and tucked her legs under her on the sofa. Her dress rode high on her thighs and I stared, almost spilling the wine as I sat next to her.
“So, I wondered if you would be willing to answer some questions for me?” she began.
“What kind of questions?” I wondered warily.
“About Eclipse?” she asked quietly.
Ah, I should have guessed. “Sure, ask away,” I told her and took a sip of wine.
I had to admit I was crazy curious what she would ask me. The people who played at Eclipse were diverse and some liked to put on a show.
“There was a lot going on and I wondered what you are into?”
“I should have guessed that would be your question,” I told her while trying to figure out how honest to be with her. But I had already crossed the line of no return. “The big thing about Eclipse that appeals to me is the lack of complications and I like to be in control. Eclipse offers me a place where I know I’ll find like-minded women. But basically it boils down to control.”
