Chapter Six
JENNA HAD HARDLY slept a wink the night before. Her thoughts had raced back and forth. She was angry with herself for falling for Ethan Richards’s charms. The man was a sociopath—she was fairly certain of that. Of course, that didn’t mean she couldn’t help him through some of his addiction problems, but from what she could see, he needed a lot more help than that. She’d suggested some one-on-one time with him, and at that time, she’d be able to identify a few things…but the man had some problems. She was considering calling Dr. Thomas’s office later to see what meds he’d put Ethan on.
She was even angrier with herself for other reasons. Ethan had gotten under her skin somehow. Well, no, she knew how. The guy had an unbelievable amount of charisma. He was hot, sure, but he was a charming devil, and he knew how to use it. She could tell, just by the confused look he’d gotten on his face last night, that he wasn’t used to hearing the word no. So maybe that was a good thing. It might make him start thinking…and that was something he needed to do. It was clear to Jenna that he was burying a lot of his thoughts and emotions deep—and he’d never be able to heal that way.
So as she stood under the warm shower, she tried to wake herself up. She could barely believe how her subconscious had toyed with the memory of Ethan. When she’d actually been able to sleep, she dreamed about him. He’d asked her the night before if she’d ever just wanted to fuck someone to see what that person was like. She’d given him some offhand answer, telling him she didn’t let her hormones rule her, and while that was true, she didn’t tell him the whole truth, which was that she did find herself attracted to him. He was a gorgeous specimen of man…but he wasn’t right for her. In fact, until he got his head on straight, he’d be a bad choice for any woman.
But the damage had already been done. He’d burrowed under her skin, and she knew it would be tough to get him out. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had a history of choosing the wrong guy, and that was the main reason why she’d pretty much sworn off men a year earlier. She had a bad habit of choosing the men who were the absolute worst picks on earth. This time, though, she was going to be smart. She wasn’t going to start dating Ethan. She’d protect herself, keep herself safe, and then he could never hurt her.
Her mind was still mulling those thoughts when she listened to her voicemails at work after her first counseling session that morning. One of them was from Ethan, taking her up on her advice. And he sounded more earnest than he had the night before. The cockiness was gone, replaced by a softer version of himself. “Yeah, Jenna…Ethan Richards. You gave me your card last night, and I’ve been thinking about it. I…uh…I do need help, and if you’re offering… Well, I promise to behave myself.” He left his number and hung up.
The problem now was that Jenna didn’t think she should try counseling him, not after her night of lost sleep and steamy dreams. She knew that wouldn’t be fair to him, though, not after making the offer. Still, she had to protect herself. So she returned her other calls first, and then picked up the phone to dial Ethan.
He answered the phone by saying, “I wondered if you were gonna call me back.” Wow. He had a beautiful voice. It was smooth and soft, but there was just a slight edge to it. She knew Ethan didn’t sing for his band—the other guitarist did and the bassist sang backup—but she thought he should.
No, that was probably just her hormones talking now.
Yeah, he had a smooth, sexy voice, and she continued having problems shaking the dreams out of her head. That voice didn’t help. But she got her bearings and took a deep breath, ready to say what she needed to. “Hi, Ethan. Uh…after giving it a lot of thought, I don’t think I’m the person you should be seeing.”
He was quiet for a few seconds and then said, “Why? You don’t think you can help?” She got ready to answer when he said, “Oh…it was my smart ass mouth, wasn’t it? Look…I get out of line a lot. I say shit I shouldn’t. I’ve never had a good filter, and I say more things I regret than I don’t. But Dr. Thomas seems to think you’re good at what you’re doing, and I saw the way you interacted with everyone last night. They fucking love you. They worship you. That tells me you’re a rock star in your own right.”
She sighed. This was going to be hard. “I don’t think so. It’s not me—the counseling works based upon the work of the individual. I have a lot of folks who haven’t been the success stories you had the pleasure of meeting last night. It’s up to the person. I just help guide them through the process.”
“No, there’s more to it than that. Jenna—can I call you Jenna?”
Her breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t expected to enjoy hearing him say her name, but she liked hearing it breathed by his voice. It sounded…really nice. She tried to keep herself calm when she replied. “Sure.”
“What I wanted to say was yeah, you can’t quit for people or make them stay quit, but you motivate people to do it. I’ve been through rehab more than once. There are good counselors out there…and there are some shitty ones. You’re not one of the shitty ones.”
She knew his statement was probably meant to be a compliment, but it didn’t make her heart swell with pride. “Gee, thanks.”
She heard him laugh through the phone. “I mean that. You’ve got heart. You care, and it shows.”
“Well, thank you. But back to the matter at hand.”
“I want you to be my counselor. So when do I start?”
“Seriously, Ethan, I think you need to see someone else.” Because if he didn’t, she might give into her deepest, darkest desires.
His voice was firmer and yet warmer somehow. “I mean it, Jenna. I want you to counsel me.”
She hoped he could hear her when she said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He didn’t speak for several seconds, and she started to wonder if he’d hung up the phone. When he spoke, though, Jenna started wondering if this was the same man she’d spoken to the night before. His speech was stilted, and he was struggling to get it all out. “I’m…what’s the word you used last night? Broken. Yeah, I’m broken and fucked up. My life is a complete shambles. I…uh…well, I guess I should tell you all this shit in our first session, but…I need someone I can trust. Okay, so I came on way too strong last night. That’s just how I am. But you got it right. I am in a million pieces, and I don’t know where the fucking glue is. I’m…” His voice dropped so low she had to strain to hear him. “I’m afraid that if I don’t get started, I’m going to start using again. I…I can’t do it again. I just can’t. I need your help.”
Jenna swallowed. How could she say no to that? She’d have to be a cold, heartless human being, and she wasn’t. So she walked over to her desk to grab her appointment book. “What does next week look like for you?”
* * *
Later on, Jenna called Dr. Thomas’s office. If she was going to counsel Ethan, she needed to know what his psychiatrist had planned and what meds Ethan was taking. She reached Mary, the receptionist, who asked Jenna to wait while she pulled Ethan’s chart. It was only a few minutes when she said, “He’s not on any meds yet.”
Jenna felt her brow furrow, and she set her pen on the desk. “He’s not?”
“Nope.”
“What’s the doctor treating him for?”
“Nothing yet. Apparently, Mr. Richards walked out of their first appointment before the doctor could prescribe anything. But he has some notes here.” After a few seconds, she said, “Patient said he was done for the day. Possible depression, other issues. Recovering addict, multiple addictions. He has an appointment Monday, and I know Dr. Thomas will try to get him on something. He usually tries to narrow stuff down and prescribe on their first appointment. Oh…he also has a note here that he’s going to mention psychotherapy.”
“Well…he’s going to be coming to my office later this afternoon.”
“Counseling?”
“Well, yeah.” She knew she would be overstepping her bounds if she suggested she play psychol
ogist. “But a psychologist might not be a bad idea either. The guy’s got issues.”
“I thought it was weird that Dr. Thomas wanted me to schedule him for another appointment so soon, but without meds, I see why. Still…weird.”
Jenna tried not to smile. “You’d have to know Mr. Richards. He can be quite…adamant. And he’s used to getting his way.”
“Well, he wouldn’t be the first patient like that we’ve ever had.”
“Yes, but he’s also pretty famous and has a lot of money…so he’s used to calling the shots. And if Dr. Thomas hadn’t done that, I’m sure Mr. Richards would have shopped elsewhere.”
All the other words had been lost on the receptionist. “Famous?” Jenna could hear the girl’s voice drop. Well, she should have been watching her tone anyway, and Jenna was sure the girl had closed the sliding glass window for privacy anyway. “What would I know him from?” Jenna told her that Ethan was a founding member of the heavy metal band Fully Automatic. The girl knew who they were but obviously wasn’t a fan.
Jenna knew she probably didn’t need to remind the girl, but she liked Mary and didn’t want her getting in trouble. “Remember…don’t treat him any differently now even though you know that.”
“I won’t.”
The girl chatted with Jenna a few minutes, but Jenna was watching the clock tick forward. She was regretting letting Ethan talk her into counseling. Dr. Thomas was right—the guy needed some serious psychotherapy and, yeah, probably medication as well. If she was right and Ethan was suffering from depression, drugs could help. But maybe there were other issues there as well, things she wouldn’t be able to identify. Yeah, she’d taken several psychology classes, but she didn’t feel qualified to do that sort of work. She was used to dealing with addictions and addictions only.
Well, no, that wasn’t exactly true either. People weren’t just their addictions. They were so much more, and she’d discovered just in the short time she’d been in this line of work that people often used because they were helping themselves. People with chronic pain became addicted—not just to prescription painkillers, but other drugs as well, alcohol being the most common. People with mental pain did the same thing. They were treating themselves instead of going to a doctor or psychiatrist. The biggest problem, though, was that the addictions were sometimes worse than the ailment the patients had been treating. Well, not necessarily worse, but they were another hurdle for the patients to leap over. Jenna’s job was trying to help the people she counseled learn to find other ways to deal with their pain and problems so that using wasn’t necessary.
The problem with Ethan, though…Jenna shook her head. There wasn’t just one problem with Ethan. First of all, because he was famous, he thought he deserved special treatment. She hoped she’d nipped that thought in the bud already, but she wouldn’t be surprised if it came up again. There was also another problem, and that was his attitude toward her. If he couldn’t show her the proper respect, there would be no way they could work through his problems. But the worst part was not knowing what all he was up against. She thought she could handle helping him work through depression, but if there were other issues—if, for example, he were truly sociopathic—she didn’t know that she’d be able to show him how to stay on the right path. She might be taking a bigger bite than she’d ever be able to chew.
Chapter Seven
ETHAN KNEW HE wasn’t taking the counseling session as seriously as he should. Yeah, he wanted her help, but he was also just eager to be around her. She was the first woman in a long time who’d turned him down. That made her a challenge. He was looking forward to testing her boundaries.
But before he stepped out the door, he got a phone call from his lawyer. “Mr. Richards, I’m going to put Mr. Becker on the phone.” He rolled his eyes, his hand still on the doorknob. He already knew what the call was about, and he wasn’t in the mood.
“Ethan?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ve really got to get moving on this. Your wife’s lawyer has called again. She wants the two of you to come to terms. Are you sure you want to fight this?”
He drew in a deep breath. Truth was he’d just been refusing the divorce to be an asshole. He was hurt, but he understood; still, he wasn’t happy about it. He’d always known there was something between Valerie and Brad, even though they’d never acted on it. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. They’d played around a little bit before Val had joined the band, but they’d practically built a fence between themselves once she’d become their vocalist. That had allowed Ethan to move in for the kill. He’d loved her, yes. He still did, but he knew they weren’t good for each other. He would never blame Val for the way he treated her, but he’d never understood why she stayed. Oh, she’d left once and was gone for a long time, and he suspected that’s why he’d always hated the hell out of Clayton Smith, a guy simply known to the metal world as “Jet.” That guy had done something to Val to make her lose her faith in Ethan for a long time, even after Val and Jet had broken up.
He knew that was a lie too, though. Val had just been growing up and realizing what she wanted. But Ethan managed to persuade Val to marry him after his first near-fatal overdose, and when he’d told her he’d stay clean and faithful, he’d meant it. He’d really wanted to.
It just didn’t work, though. He knew he had to let go and let Val get on with her life. Fully Automatic’s bassist, Nick Chen, had told him a few days ago that Brad had moved in with Val the week before, and that had just pissed him off more. Still…he’d always known there was something between the two of them, and it was time to let them be happy.
So he let out another breath and said, “No. Fine. Let’s get it over with.”
“Fantastic. I’ll call her attorney.”
Ethan was okay with the divorce, but no way in hell was he going to let her think she could keep his son from him. He couldn’t do it. So, before his lawyer hung up, he said, “Hold on. I want you to sue her for full custody.”
He could hear the incredulity in his attorney’s voice. “What do you mean? For your son?”
“Yeah. If his mom’s whoring around, shacking up with other guys, I don’t think my son should be around that.”
“What? Is there something I should know about?”
“Just tell her lawyer I want my son. We’ll go from there.”
“But—”
Ethan hung up the phone. He wasn’t going to argue with his attorney at hundreds of dollars an hour. No, instead, the prick already knew what Ethan wanted and needed, and he’d do it, even if he thought all of Ethan’s screws were loose. Ethan closed the door to his apartment and walked down the hall, ready for his appointment with the counselor.
* * *
Unlike the night before, Ethan was only a couple of minutes late, and he even apologized for it. “Sorry. My lawyer called just as I was walking out the door.”
“No problem. Come on in.”
Jenna’s office was smaller than his psychiatrist’s office. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was small. She waved a hand at a couch and a chair, letting Ethan choose either, and she sat in a desk chair on the other side of the room. He didn’t care much about his surroundings, though. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
So he’d played the sympathy card with her. Yeah, he needed help, but that wasn’t the main reason he was here. He figured his shrink could take care of his head. This woman, though…he needed her for other reasons entirely. She’d turned him down…and that made her that much more intriguing to him. He wasn’t going to force himself on her, though, not anymore. His usual approach hadn’t worked on her, not at all. Any of the other usual women who fell at his feet would have jumped on him at the first invitation, but not this woman. She was going to be a challenge.
And he liked that.
He would have to be more subtle, though. He hadn’t had to woo a woman in ages. He hoped he’d remember how to do it. As he sat in the middle of the soft green sofa in her office, that was the mai
n thought on his mind. Goddamn, she was hot. She was dressed subtly and semi-professionally. She wore dark blue jeans and a white button-down shirt with a black jacket and sandals. He wished she’d take the jacket off, because it would make her look less like a businesswoman, and he was hoping he could see if she had any tattoos under the shirt.
The air conditioning was blowing full blast, though, so he knew there wouldn’t be much chance. She sat in the chair by her desk, and Ethan tried to keep his eyes focused on hers…instead of on her neck where escaped tendrils flowed from the makeshift ponytail she’d put her hair into. Oh, that neck...it looked delicate. He would put his lips on it if it was the last thing he’d do.
“Well, let’s skip the formalities, shall we? The first thing I want to do is talk to you about addiction.”
He cleared his head. “Shouldn’t we discuss payment first?”
The smile was slight, but it was there. That gave him hope. “I assume you’re good for it.”
He nodded. “I am.”
“Then you can pay me after your time is up. Since you appear to be eager, I want to dig in.”
Fuck, yeah, he wanted to dig in, but not the way she imagined. Subtly, Ethan. He knew he’d never get anywhere with her by being aggressive. She’d already made that clear. So he simply nodded.
“I have to know something.”
Or not. Ethan felt hopeful and leaned over. “Anything.” He resisted the urge to call her babe.
“Do you really want to quit?”
“Quit what?”
“Using.”
He started to give a knee-jerk answer until he realized he’d never actually been asked if he wanted to quit before. Sure, he’d heard the stupid saying that someone had to decide to quit or it wouldn’t work, but he’d never been asked if that was what he really wanted to do. So he closed his mouth and pondered his brain. Her question had thrown him completely off guard.
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