“Want you, baby, be mine tonight.
I need you more than words can say.
I’ll make you my queen, make you my whore,
But I know I can’t have you anyway.”
He was pretty sure that the chorus had freaked her out a little bit, especially with the word whore, but she didn’t know the song was about her, right? Or did she?
He moved forward. He didn’t have much of a choice. So he made sure his voice was strong as he began the second verse.
“As I gaze upon you,
Sparks ignite.
The smoldering becomes a burning flame.
Do you feel the same?
I think you might.
A blazing desire that can’t be tamed.”
He kept his voice steady, his guitar keeping him anchored and focused as he sang the song. He’d been working on it for months and could have sung it in his sleep, so he simply had to make sure his voice was solid and calm, his fingers sure, his gaze off her so he could ensure a stellar performance of the song. He could feel the eyes of the audience on him, and as he looked up, aside from being blinded by the bright lights flooding the stage, he could see cell phones swaying from side to side in the audience. Holy fuck. That was cool.
More than that, it was powerful.
And that told him what he needed to know. It wasn’t just a lust song; it was a falling for someone song. It was hardcore. The girls got the message, so surely Val had too…if it had sunk in with her that he’d dedicated it to her for a reason.
When the song was over, the crowd went wild. For that reason alone, he was glad their next song was the last. It was a song called “Bullet Through My Soul,” a song they had always played last. It was heavy and loud and energetic, a great way to end a show. Even though the band name was no longer Bullet, he was sure this song would be their go-to song forever. It was Ethan’s song, but the whole band had worked on the music together, and it wasn’t just heavy sound-wise. The words were weighed with meaning, and most people only heard the superficial message, that love hurt. It had layers of meaning, though—love for two people, love from parents, love from an audience—and Ethan had poured his heart into the song. It was one that his friend had said he would never be able to sing, though, so Brad sang it for him. When the words came out of his mouth at the end of every show, he could almost feel Ethan’s pain but doubted any of their listeners had any idea how deeply scarred his friend was. Still, Brad was convinced that if their band made it, Ethan could let go of his past.
When their set was over, Brad was doubly glad he’d decided to do the show here. The audience was unbelievable. He knew the crowd was mostly full of college kids, but he knew they would always be a good chunk of his audience. He didn’t know that he’d ever experienced a show that infused with energy and a sense of power. It was incredible, and he knew he’d feel high all night.
After the applause died down and they’d thanked the audience, they started taking their stuff off stage. The drum kit always took the longest, and all the guys had to work on it. But Brad hardly noticed that night, because he was dreaming about his future. He knew it would just keep getting better and better. This is what it feels like, he’d thought.
The last band started setting up, and Ethan, Zane, and Nick went backstage and started slamming some drinks. Brad excused himself, not that they noticed, and found Val and her friend out front. They’d moved away from the front of the stage, but they weren’t too far off and they were easy to find. The last band was awesome, and Brad couldn’t quite place their sound but would say they leaned heavily toward melodic death metal. It wasn’t his usual flavor of metal, but they were good and he could understand why they had such a huge following.
Still…he didn’t want to rock out anymore. He had designs on the young lady beside him. In between songs, he cupped his hands and said in her ear, “You guys wanna come hang with us backstage?”
The girls liked the idea and followed him backstage into a smallish room where Fully Automatic and the first band were hanging with a few people. They could hear the music, but it was quieter and they didn’t have to shout at one another. There was a sign on the door that said, “KEEP DOOR CLOSED DURING SHOWS. RESPECT YOUR FELOW PERFORMERS.” Brad saw that someone had taken a Sharpie to the sign and added another l to spell fellow properly. He knew that he and his group didn’t need to be told by a sign or otherwise. They all worked hard for their moment under the spotlights and damned if they’d fuck it up for their brothers onstage. So both the sign and its correction were unnecessary. If they had to be loud, they’d go outside.
As soon as he and the girls entered the room, Zane made a beeline for the blonde with Val. Brad heard just enough of their conversation to gather that they’d been involved before…and it sounded like Zane was trying to reignite something. Brad asked Val, “What did you think of the show?”
She smiled. “Oh, wow. It was incredible, Brad. You guys were so good in your garage but here, with a huge audience? You were amazing.”
It felt nice to hear her say that. “We’ve been working hard. I hope it shows.”
“It definitely does.” And while he could tell there was still that magnetic draw they had to each other, he could also tell she was distracted by Ethan. His friend was off in the corner chatting with a girl, and while Val tried to be respectful and not look, he could tell she was also thinking about his friend…the guy who didn’t deserve her. So they talked for a few minutes about individual songs and her impressions of them, but he didn’t have her undivided attention. Still, he tried. He didn’t want to compete, though, and so he was considering going out to watch the band again. Just as he had made that decision, Ethan looked over at him. When he saw he had Brad’s attention, he cocked his head toward the door and pointed his thumb, and Brad knew what that meant. No better time than the present. He looked at Valerie and said, “We’re gonna go party at Zane’s in a minute. Much as I wanna stay and headbang, ‘cause this band’s awesome, Ethan’s in a hurry to get out of here.” He knew now that he had a snowball’s chance in hell, but he had to try. “So…you’ll come by after?”
Her smile was shy and sweet…and that was for him alone. “Yeah.”
“Promise?”
“Yes. I said yes.”
“Just making sure.”
Brad and Zane exchanged looks and Zane said something to Jennifer, then laid a hell of a kiss on the girl before she and Val left the room. At this rate, it was gonna be a long fucking night.
Chapter Thirteen
HE HAD ONE shot. He knew that. So while the rest of the guys started drinking in Zane and Ethan’s room, Brad asked them to point him in the direction of the shower. No way was he going to subject Val to his sweaty self. He wanted to be ready for her when she showed.
More time passed than should have, though, and he started to doubt she was coming. He cracked open his bottle of rum and Ethan said, “Why don’t we play quarters?” Ethan looked at the girl sitting beside him, and Brad knew then that his friend was wanting to loosen her up a little. Hell, they could all stand a little loosening up. He knew he could. He’d been a little nervous at first, and now as the minutes ticked on, he was starting to feel down. He was afraid he was probably going to be stood up. So he took a long swig.
Yeah, why would Val want him when she was pining over his good-looking friend? Well, seeing Ethan whisper into the ear of the girl beside him told Brad why Val should want him instead, but she wasn’t having any of it. For some reason, she was drawn to Ethan, much like a comet to the sun, and she was going to be lucky if she didn’t get burned. He took another drink.
Zane said, “Give me some.” Brad handed him the bottle. At least they could get drunk together. Zane took a swig.
“I have some vodka around here somewhere. And I need to find a glass for quarters.”
Ethan was kissing the girl beside him, and Nick had slumped onto the floor. The gorgeous girl he’d brought was shaking his arm, trying to get his attention. B
rad took another swig. This was beginning to feel like a lot of the other band parties they’d had in the past, and it didn’t exactly make him thrilled.
And then there was a knock on the door. He tried not to get too excited. He made an attempt to look relaxed. Zane was walking to the door and whispered loudly, “Hide the bottle under the desk.”
Brad was confused at first but then realized his friends lived in a dorm room. Not only were they all underage drinkers, but he imagined they’d get in even bigger trouble if they were drinking on campus. Brad screwed the cap back on the rum and tucked it under the desk, turning his chair so his leg could also block the bottle from view should anyone walk in the room.
It made his night to see Val walk in the door, followed by her roommate who paused in the doorway to kiss Zane. He picked up the bottle of rum and hugged Val when she walked into the room. Her hair smelled nice—sweet smelling, like coconut, and he tried to emblazon in his mind how she felt up against him, because he didn’t know the next time he’d get to hold her. If he had his way, it would be the first of many, but he still wasn’t too sure.
He wrapped his arm over her shoulder and led her inside the room. “We’re getting ready to play some quarters. I know you don’t drink, but will you hang with me?”
“Yeah.”
They set up the game. They all sat on the floor between the two beds in a tight circle. Brad almost put his arm around Val’s shoulder again, but he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. They started playing quarters—well, at least three couples did. Nick’s date wound up resting her head on his chest and dozing off. Brad wanted to try to keep Val’s mind off Ethan, so he tried to keep her engaged in conversation. He started by asking her about her classes, but she didn’t have much to say about them, and he saw her eyes continuing to drift over to his friend. She never made eye contact with him, but Brad could tell her attention was there. He moved the conversation to the show then, and she became more engaged then, enough that he felt like he could get away with putting his arm around her again. She didn’t seem to mind. They moved on to talking about the band itself, and while everyone was there playing quarters, it was as though there were three different games going on, simply because couples were only communicating amongst themselves. He knew why Val didn’t want to talk to Ethan, but that didn’t explain why no one else was talking. It was like they were all intent upon getting hammered.
No, he looked around the room and knew what everyone else had in mind. It was weighing on his mind too, but he didn’t know how Val felt. He looked over and saw the discomfort on her face. If she’d been any other girl, he would have offered her a drink of his rum. Instead, he asked, “Wanna get out of here?”
She nodded without hesitation, so Brad stood and held his hand out to her. She took it and stood. It was then that he could feel just how much he’d had to drink, and when he looked at the bottle, he knew too. Yeah, Zane had helped, but the bottle only had an inch of liquid left. Holy shit. His head was light and he felt swimmy.
It didn’t change the gravity of the situation, however. The other couples in the room (save sleeping Nick and his date) were no longer interested in the game, and he didn’t want to make Val uncomfortable…not that he would feel exactly at ease in the midst of that either, but having had plenty to drink (that was now hitting him with full force), he could have managed. Val, though—he wasn’t going to do that to her.
Once in the hallway, he took a deep breath and got his bearings. He had no idea what time it was, and he felt a little disoriented. That aside, he felt quite happy that he was now alone with Val, even if it really wasn’t a big deal. It made him feel braver, though. He slipped his arm around her waist and asked, “Where are we going?”
“Let’s go to my room.”
He couldn’t help but smile. That wasn’t a bad sign. They started walking. “So…that shithead Ethan’s not even writing his own lyrics anymore? That right?”
Val nodded and glanced at him but she looked shy. “Yeah…a lot of those words were mine.” Then she slid her arm under his and wrapped her arm around him at the waistband too. Inside, he thought, Score! But he knew he had to keep his cool.
So, back to the subject at hand. “Goddamn, girl. Pretty impressive. That one song—‘Metal Forever.’ You write that?”
“Yeah…and ‘Coming Down,’ ‘Intended Punishment,’ and ‘Fates Aligned.’ Also, the basis for ‘Scythe’ was one of my poems too.”
He’d thought Ethan had written “Coming Down,” because the words felt like something Ethan might have come up with. It was similar to some of his previous work. All that knowledge did was impress Brad further. “No shit.” They were quiet for a little while as Brad wrapped his mind around the fact that Val was like a fringe member of Fully Automatic, considering she was writing most of their words. He was only half kidding when he said, “Maybe we need to hire you as our full-time songwriter.”
She laughed. “I just like writing.”
“I’m not fuckin’ with you, Val. You’re writing shit the likes of which we’ve never seen.” She leaned her head into him. Oh, fuck. She had no idea what that did to him. He forced air into his lungs as they reached the stairs and started walking. Again, he could feel just how fucked up he was. He had to focus, but he couldn’t help it. When she did that, it made him feel protective of her, and that response made him think of something else. “Zane told me about some fight you got into. Your ex-roommate just tried to beat hell out of you?”
“Something like that.”
They reached Val’s room and she unlocked the door and turned on the light. Brad stepped in, closing the door behind him. He couldn’t lose his momentum at this point. He slid his thumb over her forehead. “I’m glad she didn’t leave any scars on that pretty little head of yours.”
“Yeah. And I wouldn’t want to have to sue her ass.” For some reason, in his drunken state, her words set him off. He started laughing and couldn’t stop. Val led him in the room and then walked back to the door, locking it. “Come on in.” Brad had to sit down. The room was starting to spin, thanks to his gales of laughter, and he moved over to the nearest bed to sit down. “No, not there. The other bed.”
He stood up, wondering why she wanted him in a specific bed. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t drop the ball now. He walked over to the other bed and sat down. “Oh…you gonna come curl up with me?”
“I think I need to put you to bed.”
That hit him hard, and he could feel his blood starting to speed through his veins. Was that an invitation? “I’d like that. Want me to tell you where to start?”
She started walking over, a smile on her face that he couldn’t quite interpret. “Oh, Brad. You are such a bad, bad boy.”
“You like bad boys?”
“I like you.”
That’s what he needed to hear. It meant he had a chance. “Did you know I turned twenty in March?”
“Yeah? So now you’re an older bad boy?”
She walked over to the bed, and he held out his hands. She took them, and that was when he knew tonight was his lucky night. “I think you’re probably the best birthday present I’ve had.” She sat down next to him and he touched her cheek, then kissed her. It was an innocent kiss, no tongue yet, simply testing the waters. But he was beyond fucked up, and he knew there was no way in hell, not the way he was feeling, not right now anyway. He opened his eyes, happy that at least Val hadn’t spurned him. Anything else could wait until he was more in control. “I’m way fuckin’ drunker than I thought. I need to rest my head. The room is spinning.”
Brad’s world grew black as his head sunk into the pillow.
* * *
It didn’t feel like much time had passed when Brad started to stir, hearing raised voices, but what pulled him completely out of his slumber was Ethan’s hands digging into his shoulders while the guy shouted in his face. “Wake up, you motherfucker.” Brad forced his eyes open while his friend wrapped a fist around Brad’s t-shirt, trying
to pull him out of the bed. “Did you fuck her?”
He was having a hell of a time getting his bearings. He was completely disoriented. “What the hell are you talking about? Where am I?” It all came rushing into his head…the night before, sitting on Valerie’s bed, then nothing. He couldn’t remember anything after that—and it was gonna piss him off if something happened and he didn’t remember. But he didn’t think so. Still…he had to be sure. “Valerie…Did I? Did we…?” Fuck. It was driving him crazy. He couldn’t remember anything past the time when he was flirting with Val on the bed, and he was pretty sure he had only been sleeping, but he couldn’t be sure. His shoes were off but his clothes were on, and Val was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, so he thought it was safe to assume nothing had happened between them. He was glad, because he’d be pissed if they had done something and he couldn’t remember it.
Jesus. Ethan was blitzed out of his mind. The alcohol on the guy’s breath was fresh and heavy. Brad wondered if he’d slept at all. The only reason Brad knew it was early morning was because of the sunlight shining through the curtains on the window. But he knew that much—it was morning.
Val had been tugging on Ethan’s shirt, trying to get him to let go of Brad. As Brad began to awaken, he realized his friend was seriously considering beating the shit out of him. He probably should have been scared—but he wasn’t. Val yelled at Ethan, “What are you doing?”
Ethan let go of Brad and turned to Val, putting his hands on her shoulders. “You mean…you invited him here? Did he force himself on you?”
“Force himself on me? Whatever gave you that idea? Brad is a gentleman.”
Brad was starting to awaken more and he sat up, taking in a deep breath. He was beginning to find the scene hilarious but said nothing as Ethan continued his rant. “Gentleman? Then he seduced you.”
Val sounded angry. “Get out.”
“He did. You did.”
Bullet Series Box Set Books 1-8 Page 100
