As he got closer to Brina, he was sure she would notice him in her peripheral vision and look up, but she didn’t, so he walked around behind her and snaked his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. He expected her to snuggle up next to him, especially considering they’d been pretty hot and heavy and even lovey-dovey (in spite of the fact that it was very un-Sabrina-like), but instead she jerked away. “What the hell, Nick?”
He felt confused. “What do you mean, what the hell? I was holding you. Is that so weird?”
“You didn’t have to sneak up behind me.”
His eyebrows were as high as they could climb on his forehead. “I didn’t sneak up on you. You seemed pretty...engrossed in what you were doing. Did I startle you?”
She still seemed irritated but he could see her feathers settle. “No. Sorry. Just a little keyed up.”
“You nervous again?”
She sighed. “Yeah, a little. I feel kind of like I did our first night. I’m used to playing for one type of crowd, and then it grows. That’s okay—it’s demanding, but it’s a good kind of demanding. I can do it. I just need to be by myself to work through it. I’ll be ready when the time comes.”
Oh. That was a slap in the face if he’d ever gotten one…which he had, so it was something he could recognize. “All right. Well, uh, just holler if you need me.”
As he walked away, he had to remind himself that Sabrina had always been like that—hot and cold—and she was simply being her cool self right now. Just because they were in a relationship now didn’t mean her personality had changed overnight. He needed to toughen up. Just because he’d never been in love with a woman before didn’t mean he had to act like a girl. As long as she was there when he needed her, it would be okay.
He wandered back to the dressing room area. Val and Brad would still be accessible, and he could talk to them for a while instead of standing around bored, waiting for the show to begin. When he got to the rooms, he got more than he bargained for. The entire Last Five Seconds gang—Clay, Brian, Sam, and Liam—was chatting it up with Val and Brad, and Nick wanted to see the guys too.
Brian spotted him first. “Hey, man, how you been?”
“Great. Been a long time.”
“Yeah.”
Liam, their drummer, a guy known to fans as Silver, saw him then and said, “All right. One of my favorite drummers—next to yours truly, of course.”
Nick laughed. “Good to see you, man.” He also got to shake hands with Clay and Sam, and all of them stood around talking for a few minutes. One of the crew members brought a few six packs of beer, and Nick was tempted, but he didn’t drink before shows if he could help it. It wasn’t unheard of, but he didn’t want to tonight. It was easy enough to let fatigue get to him or to just have a simple fuck up. A beer or two would make it that much more possible. He was the undercurrent of the band—the timekeeper, the metronome, the beat. Out of everyone in Val Hella, he had the most important job. It wasn’t the most glamorous nor the most memorable or even the most creative but he would always argue that it was most vital, because without a beat, it was easier for the song to go wrong.
As a general conversation ensued, one centered around Last Five Seconds’ new album, Nick thought back to his childhood, to the first time he realized he wanted to be a drummer. He remembered singing in music class in elementary school—maybe fifth grade, but probably even before that—and they would often do it a capella. Sometimes the teacher would clap out the beat, but she usually wouldn’t. Nick could hear the song in his head—all the instruments, but especially the beat—and it pissed him off when other kids would race through the song. That’s not how it goes, he would think. Those kids seemed to have no respect for the song. He forgave the tone deaf ones, but there was no excuse for the laziness of ignoring how the song should be sung or the sloppiness of wanting to rush and get it over with.
It drove him nuts. They’d been missing the beauty and perfection of music.
He tuned back into the present conversation, but it seemed like mere seconds before one of the roadies stepped in and told them it was just about show time. Sam, Last Five Seconds’ singer known to his fans as Devil, said, “Break a leg, guys. Get ‘em all hot and bothered for us, and we’ll finish ‘em off.”
Brad nodded and Val smiled, and all three promised to do just that. As the other guys walked down the hall toward their dressing rooms, the smile slid off Val’s face. “Where the fuck is Brina? Any of you seen her?”
Nick nodded. “She was just backstage a little bit ago.”
“Oh, okay. You guys set?”
“Yeah.”
So they headed up to the stage and put on one of the best shows of their lives. Nick didn’t know if it was because of the energy Last Five Seconds was bringing to the place, or if it was the crowd (and how many of them there were), or just a weird fluke, but they played like it was the last show of their lives, so they had to make it amazing. He was glad, because maybe that would help Brina realize once and for all that she was a great bassist and they were a fantastic band.
And, in spite of the family element along for the Val Hella part of the tour, there was still a party after the show. It almost felt like old times, with three distinct differences—no Ethan, no Zane, and Brina along for the ride. She was acting cold again, though, and he didn’t get it. It made no sense to him. He wasn’t going to push it, though. He’d known her long enough now to know that she seemed to cycle…and she was apparently in the cold part of the loop. He just wished he knew what brought those moods on or if he could predict when they were coming, because right now, they always came as a surprise.
No, that wasn’t true. Her icy mood shouldn’t have seemed unusual at all, considering she was that way most often. It had only been the past couple of weeks, since they’d begun a relationship (and also the threesome he’d enjoyed with her and her ex in December), that he’d seen a warmer side to her. She was like a porcupine—warm inside, but there was no getting past all the fucking spines to find out…and if you did, you were going to get hurt along the way.
Yeah, Nick needed to accept the fact that this was Brina’s normal state. And then he had to decide if he was okay with that, if he wanted to put up with that for the rest of his—
What the fuck was that?
That was something weird, a strange thought rolling around in his brain pan, something indicating a forever feeling.
He shook his head. Oh, hell, no. No forever, and—even though he couldn’t get enough of this woman—especially not with someone like Brina. Yeah, okay, he had to admit it now. He loved the woman—really, truly, deeply loved her—but she was trouble. He knew it down to the roots of his heart. He knew too that she had the ability to gut him, and he was letting it fucking happen, day after day after day. The worst part was the armor she wore—he had no idea how she felt about him, if he was just a plaything to her or if she cared. In fact, she’d only let him see the truly human part of her a couple of times, and that was right after she’d broken up with Monica. She didn’t share that side of herself much, preferring to keep it locked inside.
It was almost as though she didn’t understand how relationships worked—give and take. He’d give while she took, and then she needed to give so he could take…but Sabrina had seemed (and Monica had voiced it herself) selfish. Nick was sure there was a good reason for it—maybe a bad relationship in the past or shitty parents—but he didn’t know how to get through to her.
Maybe all he could do would be to continue to love her. Nick had always heard that dumb saying love conquers all. He was about to find out if it was true.
* * *
One thing Nick would say about Brina—sex was never the same with her, not once. It was always something different, and, he supposed, that kept it exciting.
He had to admit, though, that he’d started feeling like groupies were becoming a thing of the past.
Wrong.
Brina had other ideas, and they involved her and
Nick…and a groupie.
It was a good thing Nick was extremely open-minded about sex and willing to try anything, because, for the first time in his entire life, he’d been feeling like a monogamous guy…and like he wanted to be. He wanted to be a better guy for Brina, wanted to worship her, be faithful to her and only her.
But he’d learned from when she’d been in her relationship with Monica that she would bring others into the mix on occasion. Nick remembered that Brina had said having sex with him by herself would have been cheating, but getting her girlfriend’s permission for a threesome wouldn’t be.
When Brina first asked him, he had to think about it for a few seconds. He wasn’t sure how he really felt about it. On the one hand, he was glad she’d asked, because it indicated trust and also told him she was being faithful, because she could have easily just had sex with someone else and taken the chance that Nick never would have found out.
It hurt too, though, and he knew now that Monica must have also felt that way when Brina had asked her to engage in a threesome.
Nick had to grasp, however, that Brina had never kept her sexual orientation a secret. She’d always admitted to being bisexual, so she had certain needs that he had to admit he’d never be able to fulfill. He was not a woman, and he couldn’t even pretend to be. So, he supposed, if he wanted Brina to feel happy and satisfied, he would need to let the occasional woman into their lives…into their bed. This time, at least, the other woman wasn’t a lesbian. She too was bisexual, so Nick felt like he’d be on more even ground. He’d felt a little awkward with Monica, even though she’d been a real sweetheart and he’d managed to make her come (and she’d done the same for him). He knew, though, that there hadn’t been any attraction there for her—she wasn’t into men; she’d merely done it to keep her girlfriend happy. The chick Brina wanted to bring into the mix played for both teams, though, so it could work.
Nick agreed to it before he even fully realized it. As he gave it more thought, he let himself get excited at the possibility. He was relieved it was their hotel night (probably part of Brina’s plan), because, otherwise, it wouldn’t have worked out as well.
He and Brina wound up getting one room that night instead of two, because every hotel night had been spent together thus far. Why change it now? Besides, their relationship was no longer under wraps, and there was no need to try to conceal it. When they got there, Brina had the woman in tow—a young thing named Angie—and Nick probably shouldn’t have been surprised that she looked a lot like Monica. Apparently, Brina had a specific taste in women. The girl was short, platinum blonde, thin, and big breasted. She acted demure too, just like Monica, but Nick knew better. Any woman who could play with two people at once was ballsy, and in a huge way.
Not that there was a damn thing wrong with that.
There was one difference between this girl and Monica—Angie had a pierced tongue.
The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted to shower before they did anything else. He was particularly grungy after this show and he needed to wash off. He also knew Brina well enough by now to know that she’d want to shower together, all three of them, but he needed a few moments to himself first, a little time to wrap his mind around this. Not the idea of a threesome, because that was nothing new, but the idea that if he and Brina were going to be together for any length of time, he had to accept the fact that, every once in a while, she was going to want to engage in a little three-way play. He had to be okay with that. It was something she needed. It was a huge part of her, and to deny it would be wrong.
Wouldn’t it?
He didn’t have much chance to ponder with his heart once the three of them entered the hotel elevator, because Brina decided to start foreplay right then and there. She faced them both, cupping Nick’s package in one hand and massaging it the way she knew he’d respond, and grabbing one of the woman’s tits, and then she brought her mouth down hard on Angie’s lips. Between her hand on his junk and what he was watching, his dick swelled up, causing her to knead it more firmly before moving her lips to his.
Okay, so maybe he didn’t need to think about it too much. It was just a good time, and his body definitely wanted to take part in the proceedings. If he thought with his dick, he would be fine.
His heart had no place in the realm of sex and lust. There was no reasoning with those desires. The cock wanted what the cock wanted, and Brina had somehow tapped into that.
Or maybe they were more alike than Nick wanted to admit.
No, that wasn’t true. He loved Brina, yeah, but they were nothing alike. He might have often come off as a cocksucker because of his sense of humor, but he actually gave a shit about people. People mattered to him. Much as he cared for Brina, he couldn’t say the same thing about her. She didn’t seem to think about other people’s wants or needs. He’d seen that during his first threesome with her.
But enough analyzing. Now Angie was kissing his neck just below his ear and Brina was licking the girl’s neck. Nick had a hand around each one’s waist, not willing to start grabbing them all over until they were in their room and he’d showered.
It wasn’t long before they made it there, unlatching long enough to walk down the hall. It took him longer than the women to get moving, though, because his dick was stiff and unrelenting in his jeans.
Closing the door, Brina said, “Make yourself at home, Angel.” The blonde started to correct her and Brina said, “Oh, baby, you are my angel tonight. Angie, Angel—same thing, right?” She winked but didn’t give the woman a chance to object. She walked over to the closet and pulled the door open. Then she leaned over and zipped her suitcase open, pulling out a bottle of tequila. “Party time!”
Nick grinned but said, “Ladies, start the party without me. I’m gonna shower real fast.”
True to form, Brina said, “Want us to join you?”
“You’d slow me down. I promise to be fast so we can start.”
“But what if I need to shower too, Nicky Sticks?”
It was all he could do to not sigh aloud. “Do you want to use the shower first?”
“Nah. I’m good. It’s too damn cold to get sweaty…for me, and I already showered this morning.” She kissed Nick on the cheek. He was thinking about how sweet and affectionate—and out of character—that little act was for Sabrina. He was still thinking about it as he saw her approaching Angie as though the woman were prey on an open field, just begging to be pounced and eaten.
And, if he knew Brina, she was going to do something like that in short order.
He couldn’t be wistful, couldn’t act melancholy. She’d asked him if he wanted to do this, and he’d agreed to it—maybe not wholeheartedly, but he had given her the green light. He couldn’t mope and cry now. That time was long past. Now he had to join in the fun—or leave.
No, he wasn’t about to do that.
So he made his shower short and quick, shampooing his hair and soaping himself down before rinsing off. Once out and toweled off, he even ran his toothbrush over his teeth and tongue a few times. He ran the comb through his hair, the part that took the longest, and then wrapped the towel around his waist, because he wasn’t sure he was ready to be dangling in front of the women yet, especially not knowing what state of undress they’d be in.
They were still drinking and making out in the middle of the room. Brina was down to her panties and bra, but Angie was still fully clothed except for her shoes. The woman was dressed for a concert—jeans, Last Five Seconds t-shirt, heavy makeup. She was a pretty woman, but Nick only had eyes for his girl.
Yeah…she was his girl, whether she knew it or not.
And he couldn’t help it. What he’d been afraid of in terms of this evening—an underlying sense of possessiveness—didn’t surface. Instead, his cock grew hard seeing the women lock tongues. Angie seemed to be getting braver, holding Sabrina’s ass in one hand, her drink in the other.
Nick wasn’t sure if he should insert himself between them or just sit
back and watch, but Brina noticed him. “Come here, lover boy.” She smirked and crooked a finger at him, wiggling it toward herself, inviting him over.
When he got there, she kissed him hard, shoving her tongue in his mouth, letting him know she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He could taste the other woman on her lips too, and for some reason, that was also a turn on. Then Brina said, “Angie here is going to do a striptease for us, ain’t ya, Angel?”
Angie seemed a little shocked, as though she didn’t know that, but she took it in stride. “Yeah, sure. You got any music?”
“One sec.” Brina walked over to the nightstand and picked up her phone, pulling it out of the dock supplied by the hotel. She swiped at the screen several times and then set it down. “I hope you can strip to Marilyn Manson.”
Angie swallowed the rest of the liquid in her glass. “With enough tequila, I can take my clothes off to anything.” She giggled, and again she reminded Nick of Monica—there was something innocent about her, something sweet and undefiled, and he almost felt guilty, like he and Sabrina were going to corrupt her.
But she began swaying her hips, willing to do whatever Brina asked. The brunette looped her fingers in Nick’s hand and said, “We’re gonna get front row seats, baby. Come with me.” For some reason, her calling him baby made his heart swell once more, making him believe she was starting to feel for him the same way he felt for her. It made him feel lightheaded…and lighthearted.
They got on the bed, sitting at the head, leaning against the headboard, side by side. Brina licked his earlobe and then said, “I’m gonna play with you and you’re gonna play with me while we watch the show. But don’t you dare come. Not yet.”
Oh, that bossy bitch. He was really starting to love that about her. She enjoyed telling him what to do in bed…and, as long as he got off too, he really didn’t give a shit.
The girl, Angie…she might have a future as a striptease, because she was sensual. She was grinding against the air much like women who stripped for a living, her movements highlighting every damn asset she had. First Nick was admiring the beauty of her cheekbones and then the curve of her breast, followed by the lusciousness of her hip, the roundness of her ass. She swayed to the music as though it were her lover, making her delight in the foreplay that Nick and Brina were getting ready to enjoy.
Bullet Series Box Set Books 1-8 Page 154
