Zane grinned. “Well…I was kind of hoping you’d consider spending the night.”
“Uh…” She swallowed. While she didn’t know how she felt about the entire matter, she liked the idea. “Where would we sleep if Zoe was in the crib down here?”
“There’s a bed in the guest room, too. You could be right there next to her.”
Sounded perfect. She just didn’t know if she’d be comfortable having sex in the bed next to Zoe.
Scratch that. She knew she wouldn’t be comfortable doing that.
But, for all she knew, sex was still not a factor for Zane. Maybe instead his intent was to play videogames all night long. After all, he hadn’t said they would be sleeping next to her daughter.
“So show me this crib,” she said, moving over to where her daughter lay sleeping and crouching down to lift the child into her arms.
“Want me to get her?”
“Nah. Just lead the way.”
And so he did. They walked through the open space until they arrived at a long hallway. Zane opened a door on the left and flipped a light switch, and Jennifer walked past him. The room was, like all of Zane’s home, spacious and beautiful, decorated with elegant taste. The crib was a bit nicer than the one Jennifer had in her apartment, not that Zoe would notice or care, but Jennifer got closer and asked, “Can you lower the rail?”
Zane got close and glanced at the crib. “Oh, shit. I have no idea how to do that.”
Jennifer was going to explain how to do it but knew it would be easier to do it herself. “Can you hold Zoe for a sec?”
Zane’s eyes grew wide for just a moment before he said, “Sure. Uh, how should we do it?”
“Just hold your arms out so you can cradle her.” He’d only held her awake before, so this was new for him, but he did as Jennifer instructed, and in seconds, she had the child resting in Zane’s arms, hardly having stirred through all the commotion. In no time, Jennifer found the springs holding up the rail and pulled them so she could lower it. “Do you want to lay her down in there or do you want me to?” She looked up at Zane. Oh, God. What a beautiful sight, and she wished she had a camera to capture the moment. It melted her heart. He was gazing upon her—their—child, and she was pretty sure he was falling in love with her.
Maybe it was time to tell him.
Tomorrow.
“You can if you think you can lay her down without waking her.”
“I’ll do my best.” With a gentle touch, he leaned over and lay the child in the crib before covering her with the light blanket. Even though it was hot outside, it was cool indoors and a light blanket was a good idea.
Zoe moved around a bit before her jaw slackened once more. Jennifer felt her shoulders relax at the sight. A year ago, when Zoe was a full-blown infant, it was never a guarantee that her child would stay asleep once Jennifer laid her down. More than half the time, placing her in the crib was like sounding an alarm clock, and that was why Jennifer had wound up letting Zoe sleep with her most of the time. As she got older, though, Jennifer began relying on routine—the same order of events every night before being placed in the crib. And all those routines were broken this evening.
And tonight, if she and Zane were going to spend any kind of time together, the last thing she’d want would be a fussing child. Zane whispered, “I suppose you know how these baby monitors work too.”
She’d received one at a baby shower and had wound up not using it much, because her apartment was small enough that she could hear when Zoe woke up without the help of the monitor. She did, however, know how it worked and turned it on, picking up the receiver. “Done.”
“Does she sleep with a light on?”
“If you have a nightlight. If not—”
“There’s one that will turn on once we turn the light off.” Jennifer hadn’t noticed it earlier when they’d entered, but sure enough—once the light was off, a tiny nightlight came on across the room. “Should we close the door?”
“Nah. Not unless we’re going to get violent with the videogames.”
Zane laughed. “Not planning on it.” They started walking back down the hall, and Jennifer found herself feeling a little disappointed.
Well, what had she expected? She’d asked Zane to clean up his life, and if abstaining was part of his recovery, not only did she have to respect it, she had to support it. She had to help him on his journey. There would be plenty of time for them to re-consummate their relationship and learn to once more appreciate each other’s bodies. For now, she had to be supportive and do whatever it was he needed.
But when they got back to the family room, Zane picked up the remote off the coffee table and pointed it at the television, shutting it off. “I changed my mind—I hope you weren’t still planning to kick my ass anymore.”
She grinned. “I think we were pretty evenly matched.”
“Finish in the morning?”
“Yeah, sure.”
She only hoped he wasn’t calling it a night…and, if the look in his eyes was any indication, he wasn’t.
When he got close, she let loose all the feelings of unbridled passion that had been pent up inside her, biding their time like racehorses behind a gate, just waiting to be turned loose. He must have felt the same way, because their lips practically crashed into each other. Oh, sweet heavens. Yeah, she’d thought their last few make-out sessions had been hot, but she’d had no idea. Now that she didn’t have to hold back, she was ready right this second—wet and quivering and desirous beyond imagination.
Zane was moving at super speed too, and it was less than two minutes that they had all their clothes off and were lying down on the couch. She was squeezing his ass and kissing his chest as he began pulling a condom over his cock.
He paused then, drawing her lips into a sweet kiss. “We can go slow, babe; take our time.”
“No way,” she said, feeling desperate and ready to beg now that the tip of his cock was pressing against her pussy. “No way. I want you inside me. Now.”
“Ah. Well, I am not one to disappoint my woman.”
And he drove himself inside her, creating in her mind sparks, followed by explosions, reaffirming once more that Zane was the only man for her. The only man.
Chapter Twenty-seven
OH, GOD. ZANE never would have been one to make a big deal about waking up holding the perfect woman in his arms, but he now realized that it was a small yet perfect pleasure. Jennifer was still asleep and the sun was bright behind the filmy drapes in the guest room. He glanced over at Zoe and saw that she too was still sleeping, but she was stirring, and Zane figured it wouldn’t be long before the child awoke.
Sure enough, she did, and she started looking around before she sat up. Zane watched her and felt his heart swell. He never would have thought he could feel love or affection for another man’s child, but this was Jennifer’s baby, and damn right he did. He had already fallen deeply in love with this sweet little girl and couldn’t wait to see what she was like when she got older. She looked over at Zane and Jennifer lying in the bed just a few feet away and said, “Mama?”
Zane made sure his voice was soft when he answered. “Yeah, this is mama right here. How are you, Zoe?”
Zoe smiled and Zane felt rather than saw Jennifer waking up. He felt her body moving beside him, and so he leaned forward and looked over to see her eyelids fluttering. “Oh, you’re awake, baby girl.” She stretched her neck and yawned, and Zane kissed her on the shoulder. “You too, huh?” She grinned and turned her head to look in Zane’s eyes. “How long you guys been awake?”
“Just a couple of minutes. She always in this good a mood when she wakes up?”
“Yeah.” Jennifer sat up and then said, “Crap. I don’t have any clothes or anything.”
Zane snickered. “This is a guest room, babe. Don’t you think I got you covered?” He also sat up and slid off the opposite side of the bed, walking to the closet. He pulled the door open and spied the fluffy black robes inside. Reach
ing in, he pulled them both off their hangers and walked over to Jennifer, who was now standing beside the crib. “I have to admit, though, you look great without the robe.”
“Thanks but…I feel weird being naked around my daughter.”
He looked down, because he too was completely nude. “Point taken,” he said and pulled the other robe over his body more quickly than he’d originally planned to. While Jennifer picked Zoe up, Zane asked, “Want some breakfast?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” She kissed Zoe on the cheek and then put her on the floor, holding the child’s hand in hers. As they walked out of the bedroom together, Zane held himself back. He wanted nothing more than to pull these two females close to him and shower them with affection. He stopped himself, though, because he didn’t want to overwhelm either one of them. They walked through the family room and Zoe pulled away from her mother to begin playing with the kitchen again. “No, not now, honey. We’ll come back.”
“We can take the table and chairs to the kitchen if you want,” Zane said. He didn’t know that Zoe would give a shit about the building blocks, but he wanted her to have something to do while they were making breakfast.
“Yeah, okay. Zoe, we’re going to bring some of this to the kitchen.” It was immediately evident that they needed to take the kitchen set, though, and not the table and chairs. The child didn’t care a bit about the table and chairs (and how was she to know that they would be easier to move?), but Jen had picked up one of the plastic chairs anyway.
“Hey, Jen, why don’t we take the kitchen instead?”
She grinned. “Great idea. Take the kitchen to the kitchen.”
Zane shrugged. “She might learn a thing or two.” Jen smiled again as Zane picked up the set carefully so as not to hurt Zoe with it…but the child began fussing immediately.
“It’s okay, Zoe. We’re just moving it. Come on—let’s go play.” Zoe cheered up instantly and began toddling in the direction Jennifer was going until she reached her mother. Jen had extended a hand for her child to latch onto and, once she did, they all walked toward the kitchen.
Zane put the playset next to the table where it was somewhat out of the way of where he’d be working at making breakfast. “Coffee first,” he announced and began pouring water into the carafe.
“What can I do to help?”
“Well, we need to decide what we want to eat.”
“Zoe likes pancakes.”
“Then pancakes it is.” Jen poured some orange juice for all three of them and, once more, Zane had his housekeeper to thank. She’d suggested a couple of sippy cups for the toddler, as well as a small spoon and fork and a high chair. His housekeeper was making him look good. There was no way he would have thought of all that shit on his own, no matter how many times he’d visited Jen and seen all the baby items she had in her apartment.
He and Jennifer whipped up the pancakes, along with a little bacon, while Zoe played and made her “own” breakfast on the play stove. Jennifer would take a minute and play with her here and there and, of course, it didn’t slow up the proceedings. In fact, while a couple of cakes were cooking on the griddle and Jennifer was tickling Zoe under the chin, Zane stood, spatula in hand, watching the two females and he couldn’t help but imagine them there every day. Goddamn. Recovery would be simple if they were a constant part of his life.
He’d have to tell Jen that later.
Well, maybe not. That might seem overwhelming. He didn’t want her to have the sense that his recovery was dependent upon her, because it wasn’t, but he knew that having them in his life would keep him focused and happy—help him keep his eyes on the prize, so to speak. And, in retrospect, he knew that last night had been the right time to make love. He’d felt ready and in control. There had been nothing impulsive about it. It had been motivated by a desire to express his feelings to his woman physically, not just do something he’d felt compelled to do.
It was different, and he could feel that.
He was still consumed by happy thoughts when the three of them sat down to breakfast. Jen was buttering Zoe’s pancakes and said, “Hey, Zane, could you grab her sippy cup? I think she stuck it in the microwave.”
Zane started to laugh until he realized she meant the toy microwave built into the playset. He walked over and opened the plastic microwave door above the play stove and, sure enough, the sippy cup with orange juice was in there. “Looks like she hasn’t even touched it, Jen. Should I get her some milk instead?”
“No, she likes juice. She was just a little distracted.”
“Okay.” He set her sippy cup on the high chair tray as Jen was pouring a few drops of syrup on Zoe’s cut-up pancakes. Zane didn’t want to start without Jen, but he did grab a piece of bacon and popped the end into his mouth, biting some off and chewing. Zoe looked at him and he winked and smiled. The little girl smiled back and grabbed her green sippy cup with both hands, bringing it to her mouth. She tipped the cup up and her head back. When she set the cup back down, she pursed her mouth shut and squished her eyes closed. Oh—too tart. So cute. But, as Zane continued enjoying her expression, he realized that the way Zoe’s mouth was pursed reminded him of someone else.
And then he could see that person in all her features.
He saw his own mother, plain as day, and he froze. The only thing in motion then was the air he breathed in and out making his chest rise and fall. Even his thoughts were on pause as he tried to process what he’d seen. But it made no damn sense.
* * *
“What, Zane? You act like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“It feels like I have.”
Before she could even ask what he meant, Zane had stood up and left the room, obviously on a mission of some kind. “What’s up with that?” she asked Zoe, grabbing a slice of bacon and tearing it into bite-sized pieces for the little girl.
Then she sat down and made her own breakfast, grabbing two pancakes off the stack on the big plate in the center of the table along with a slice of bacon. She was pouring maple syrup on her stack when Zane came back in the room with a big black book.
Oh. It was a photo album.
“Whatcha got there?”
Zane had a frown on his face and said, “You tell me.” That seemed…strange, but she walked over to his chair and stood behind him so she could see what he was doing. He was flipping through the pages furiously, and Jennifer wanted to tease him, telling him that was why everyone’s photos were online nowadays—but she got the feeling that he was agitated.
He paused on one page and then touched a picture with his finger, a small color photo that had faded over the years. It was a baby picture of a woman with dark hair and blue eyes, and even though Jennifer had never met her in person, she could tell that this was a baby picture of Zane’s mother.
Holy. Shit.
She could feel the blood draining from her face, but before she could even say anything, Zane spoke. “Isn’t that kind of strange, Jen? That your daughter has such an uncanny resemblance to my mother? Almost like they’re related, huh?”
“Zane—”
“I was watching Zoe sipping her juice and she puckered her lips.” He smiled at the child when she noticed he said her name and looked up from her pancake, but as soon as his eyes returned to Jennifer, the happy look was gone. “It reminded me of my mom, the way, when her lips puckered, they looked like a heart. Zoe’s looked like that too. But I didn’t even have a chance to wonder why, ‘cause I realized my mom looked exactly like Zoe…only with black hair. What are the chances?”
All words had escaped from Jennifer’s grasp. “Uh…”
“Explain that to me, Jen. Explain it. What the hell are the odds that your daughter would look almost exactly like my mother at the same age?”
“Zane, please sit down.”
“I don’t wanna sit down.”
Jennifer sucked down a deep breath. This was going to be hard, but it would be even harder if they started fighting again. “Please, Zane. I don’t want
to talk to you if you’re hulking over me.”
He bit down, clenching his jaw, and then sat in the chair. “All right.”
This wasn’t getting any easier, and she almost wanted to just tell him to fuck off and leave. She understood why the asshole vibes were coming off him, but she had had her reasons, and he wasn’t fully justified in being an asshole right now. “Zane…you’ve already figured out the truth, so I’m not even going to deny it, okay? Yes, Zoe’s your daughter.”
His face was like stone. She couldn’t read him. He wasn’t ready to explode like he used to. Instead, he was quiet and still—and, somehow, that made him scarier than if he’d been ranting and raving and even throwing shit around the room. “When?”
“When did I know or when did it happen?”
Zane drew in a deep breath but maintained eye contact. “When was she born?”
“January thirty-first. Of last year, of course.”
Zane nodded. “Okay, so…were you ever gonna tell me?”
“I wanted to.”
The look in his eyes changed—from anger to hurt—and that was when Jennifer started feeling awful for having kept it from him for so long. The truth was she could have used a partner. But that was in the past now. She had to try to explain her rationale and hope he would understand. She took a deep breath. “Remember the last time we were together? Um…you know…”
“In a sexual way?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. It was the night we decided to make Kung Pao Chicken.”
She had to give him points for that. He’d actually remembered. That told her they as a couple might mean more to him than she had originally thought, because—when he was under the grips of drugs and alcohol—she had a hard time believing anything Zane Carson ever said. She looked over at Zoe and nodded before returning her eyes to Zane. “Yes. And, if you’ll recall, right after that is when it all went to hell.”
“When we started fighting again.”
He loved to blame it on the arguing. He always seemed to forget what it all stemmed from. “When you started screwing around again. Don’t you get it, Zane? Don’t you see? It wasn’t that I didn’t want Zoe to know her dad. I wanted you to know you were a dad, too—but how could I? You were drugging and whoring and half the time didn’t even remember where you were. I didn’t want Zoe to think you were the kind of man she should look for. No way. And really, Zane? Are you the kind of man you’d want your daughter to date?”
Bullet Series Box Set Books 1-8 Page 175
