“I know it’s a lot to process. You can have all the space…” Logan cut me off.
“I don’t need any time. I need you. Please don’t leave. Don’t give up on us again. Please,” he begs with tears shimmering in his eyes.
My breath leaves my lungs when he places his hand on my belly. Holding my gaze, he leans in and kisses my belly tenderly.
“Don’t break up our family,” he whispers.
My knees buckle beneath me and I fall to the bed. Logan knocks the suitcase to the floor and moves to the bed beside me, holding my hands with his.
“I know I didn’t react in the best way, but I just didn’t want to be that angry in front of you. So I went for a swim and then my brothers sat and talked to me for a bit. I’m not perfect and you’re not perfect, but you are perfect for me. I can’t let you go. Letting you go again would mean that I’m an idiot and I don’t think I am,” he smirks.
“Logan, I know I hurt you. It hurt me too, but I have no doubt in my mind that I did the right thing. That day when I lost… While Tony was beating me and raping me calling a whore and whatever name he could sneer, I held on to hope that my parents would come in and save me and see Tony for what he really was. When it was all over, he pulled me from the closet – I couldn’t even stand I was in so much pain – my parents were in my bedroom. They were there the whole time listening to him beat me and me pleading with him to stop and my cries… I knew then I made the right decision. If they could do that to me… they wouldn’t blink an eye at doing it to you. You had a family that depended on you and had already lost so much. I couldn’t do that because I couldn’t breathe without you.”
He cups my face in his hands and forces me to look him in the eyes.
“I love you Faith. Nothing has changed and nothing will. I love you. Let’s leave the past behind us and take it from today… Okay?”
Chapter Sixteen
Logan
“I love you too, Logan. We can try.” She breathes as she looks into my eyes.
“We will try and we will succeed. Do you know why?”
She shakes her head and a tear slips down her cheek. Reaching up, I wipe away the tear with my thumb.
“Because we know how it feels to be without the other. I never want to go back to that feeling,” I whisper empathetically.
She laughs. It wasn’t a funny laugh. It was a sad and full of pain and maybe regret. Another tear slips from her eye that I quickly wipe away.
“Logan you need to know that I wouldn’t change what I did then. I don’t regret running away. It kept you safe and with your family. My father is a lot darker than I ever thought. I’m beginning to think that Tony Deluca is the same.”
That name it was so damn familiar. Why is that name so familiar? Shaking it from my head for now, I turn my attention back to what’s important.
“Baby, I understand now what you did for me, for my family, for us. I was mad in the beginning, but all I wanted was you back in my arms, safe. I have you here now. That’s all that matters to me.”
Her shaking hands reach up and touch my face. My head automatically leans into her touch. I’ve been starved of her touch for so long that this single small touch sears me deep, deeper than ever before.
Unable to wait any longer, I lean forward and brush my lips against hers. The mere touch sends my heart racing. Faith’s breath whooshes out against my mouth. The smile that forms on my face cannot be stopped. She still reacts the same way to me.
Brushing my lips back across hers, Faith’s breath panting out against my mouth as I do so.
“Logan…” she says in a breathless moan.
Unable to resist any longer, I seal my mouth over hers. Faith immediately opens for me granting my tongue entrance. Moving my hands back into her hair, I hold her exactly where I want her, where I need her. When our tongues meet for the first time, a moan, so deep, rumbles through my chest. The last time I felt this was when I thought I was with a stranger, only it turns out to be the woman that holds my heart in the palm of her hands.
The need to have her closer was overwhelming. Faith must have been thinking the same thing because next thing I know she’s straddling my lap. She wraps her arms tightly around my neck. I love the way she can make me feel with a single touch.
The feel of her grinding herself against me was heavenly, but somewhere in the back of my mind a nagging little thought surfaced and I couldn’t push it away. She’s sick. And she’s pregnant. We need to slow things down. Even as my cock protests, I pull back from her mouth and remove my hands from her ass.
“You’re sick,” I murmur.
“I’m fine. I need you,” she breathes, brushing her lips against mine. “Make love to me Logan. Let’s forget everything else around us. I need you please.”
The last of my determination to stop this evaporated at her heart felt plea. My hands move to the hem of her sundress and I pull it slowly over her head. With no bra on, the only thing that separates us now was her panties and my swim trunks.
Wrapping her arms around my neck again, she pulls my mouth up to meet hers. Feeling her skin on me sends a new rush of blood to my cock. It strains painfully in my trunks. My hands roam all over her body covering every inch of it, remembering it, memorizing it.
Suddenly the pressure in my pants eases and my cock is soon wrapped in Faith’s warmth. A warmth that has had no match… ever.
“I can’t go slow. I need you too much,” she whispers as she begins to ride me.
My hands move to her hips, helping her ride my cock. After a moment she pushes me backward, her hands resting on my chest she picks up her movement.
“Holy shit! Ah, Fay,” I moan, closing my eyes as she takes me toward the only place I’ve gone with her.
Just as I feel my nuts draw up, she stops her frantic pace. My eyes fly open and I look at her. There is a small smile playing on her face that tells me she knows exactly what she’s doing to me right now. Honestly, I’m more than happy to let her do it.
“I love the feel of you under my hands, baby,” I whisper.
My eyes roam her perfect body. Her breasts were bigger, not by much, but I still notice. As I cup them in my hands her breath hissings out as she tosses her head back. Mmm, and more sensitive too. A smile pulls at my lips with that thought.
“Logan,” Faith breathes as I lap at her tender, sensitive, nipples.
Her hands clenching in my hair holding me to her breast. Fuck, I love this woman. She brings to life something else when we are in this moment. A part of me wakes up that has never woke before. My heart.
Rolling us over, Faith beneath me, I move us further onto the bed, never breaking our connection. Gently, I cup her face in my hands and look into her eyes.
“I love you Faithy. I love you so much.”
Slowly, I thrust into her, deeply. She moans. Looking into my eyes, I see the tears shimmering in hers. Faith takes my breath away every single time I look at her. Leaning down, I take her lips with mine. My thrusts are slow and deep. Her hands run all over my body, scrapping her nails down my back until she grips my ass firmly. The bite of her nails digging into my flesh elicits a growl from deep within my chest.
No matter how much she tries, I’m not rushing this moment. No moment with Faith will ever be rushed. Almost six long years have passed, I have a lot of cherishing to make up for.
“Oh, Logan,” she breathes into my ear.
Her voice breathless and so full of lust and love that it almost chokes me, brushing hair from her face, I smile down at her. She was mine again. All mine.
Time passes, but I can’t break away from her eyes. My thrusts maintain the same speed. Slowly, I drive us both insane. Her body begins to clench and shudder around me. My heart hammers in my chest as we both call out each other’s name as we fall over the edge into bliss together.
Collapsing down, I roll over to my back, pulling her with me. My arms wrap around her tightly, afraid if I let her go she won’t really be there and it will have all bee
n a dream. A damn dream that rocked my fucking world and changed me forever.
“I’m not letting you go again, Faith. I can’t. So don’t ask me to again. Please,” I whisper into her hair.
She lifts her head and looks down at me. “I’m with you for however long you’ll have me. I don’t have the strength to walk away again. Even though I should since I’ve just brought unknown danger to all of you.”
Cradling her face in my hands, “Listen to me and listen good because I’m only going to say this once. My only danger is trying to survive without you. I’ve damn near worked myself to the bone, drank myself to death, and my only relief was paying for sex with women that wanted nothing more from me than a moment and money. I had nothing to offer anyone because everything stayed with you. We’re in this together. From now on. Promise me Fay. Promise me, you’ll never walk away from me. Please!”
Tears slip down her cheeks and fall to my chest. “I promise,” she squeaks out.
Pulling her down to my lips, I kiss her soundly once more. Soon we were both falling asleep.
# # #
Joey
It was a risk. I knew it was, but I could feel that it was her. Just holding her hand in mine, I knew it was her. It broke my heart when she ran from me. Hazel was the woman that has stayed in my dreams, but something was wrong.
Not with her. Maybe with me?
My head was throbbing and there was a bit of a haze in front of my vision. Shit! How could I forget? I know how I could forget. Hazel was near me. Even if she wasn’t even looking at me, just her closeness had everything around me disappearing.
Half the girls here ran around without their tops on, but I couldn’t see anyone, but Hazel. Shaking my head, I rushed inside and up to my room.
The pain shot through my head with a vengeance. My hands shook as I searched my bag for the bottles. Dropping the bag several times to the floor, I curse loudly. Biting my lip, I try to curb the cry of pain that wants to escape.
Blinking rapidly, I try to focus on what I’m looking at. My vision was going in and out. The pain in my head was worsening. Fuck! I’m not going to make it. Blindly, I shift through the contents of the bag when I hear a knock at the door.
“Go away,” I say gruffly, but my voice sounds off in the distance almost, garbled somehow.
When I hear the click of the hand on the door, I look up to see Levi standing in the room. Pressure builds in my ears and I cover them with my hands. For the first time in nine years, I ask for help.
“Help, Levi. Find my pill bottles please.”
My vision was so blurry that I couldn’t even tell if Levi was still there. It wasn’t until he took the bag from my hands that I knew I wasn’t alone. Next thing I know, I’m being fed my pills and some water.
My body slumps to the floor. Please let it be in time. Please let it be in time. It’s all I can think right now. Don’t let everyone see what kind of stupid fuck I really am.
A mumble of words try to make sense in my head, but I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t understand.
“Go… away… please…”
Forcing out the words was harder than I thought and I pray that I actually said them out loud. My vision kept blurring and dimming.
No, please not now. Not with others around. God, please don’t be so cruel to me.
Slowly, unsure of how much time has actually passed, I start to get the feeling back in my face, the tingling feeling subsides. The pain in my head has lightened enough that my vision starts to clear and the pressure lifts slightly. The ringing in my ear has lowered in volume, but still there.
Carefully, I push myself up to a sitting position.
“Man, what the fuck was that about?”
“I’m fine, Levi. Just go,” I grumble.
“Dude you need a doctor. That was not nothing. You…”
Glaring at him, I snap. “I said I’m fucking fine! It was a, uh, migraine. I need to lay down for a bit. I’ll be fine. Thank you for helping me before it got too bad.”
Pulling myself up, I slip off my shoes and climb into bed. I can feel Levi staring at me. I don’t give two shits! Not right now anyway. I’m not explaining myself. It could change my life. It would change my life.
Who wants to be around a monster like me? No one ever loves the retard. People only pity him. My life would be over…
Chapter Seventeen
Faith
Opening my eyes, I’m greeted with a sight that constricts my chest. My Logan sleeps beneath me. His arms still hold me firmly to him. No matter how many times I see him, he always has the same effect on me. But what I love even more than any other time is, being in his arms.
Smiling, I remember when he would beg me to leave with him. This was one of the things he wanted, to make love and fall asleep in each other’s arms. It was what I wanted too.
Resting my head back on his chest, I close my eyes. So many times of missing the little things all because I wanted to please a person that didn’t deserve to be a father or have my respect. Clenching my eyes tighter shut, I push all thoughts of what we’ve missed out of my head. We’re together now, that’s all that matters to me.
“Faith! Faith!” Beau was screaming for me, but I didn’t care.
The woman I’ve become is not the woman I wanted to be. This woman… This thing I am now is nothing more than a whore. I sleep with married men and get paid for it. Wrecking marriages, homes, lives in my need to get even with dear ol’ dad.
No, I was no longer a woman. Instead, I’ve morphed into this evil… thing. But the problem was I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I needed free. The only way to do that was this…
“Faith! Damn it! Where are you?” Beau continues to yell for me.
The smoke was so thick that I can’t make out exactly where he was. His coughing was the only other sound than the crackling and roaring from the fire that rages around me. Burn in hell… yes that’s what I deserve, to burn in hell. But maybe if I burn the woman that stands here alive. Hell, won’t take me.
“I love you, Beau. You gave me a family. Please watch out for Logan for me,” I yell to him.
“Faith, please. Listen to me. I can’t… You’re just as much my family as I am yours. Please don’t leave me alone again.”
His tone was desperate even scratchy from breathing in the smoke of the burning pool house. The idea came to me when I was trying to start a fire in my fireplace and ended up burning my fingers.
The thought of the blister forming as new skin readied itself below. I could be new again. A new woman, not this… this… whatever I’ve become.
A scream tears from my lungs as arms wrapped around me and pulled me from the building.
“No! Beau! I have to do this. It’s the only way,” I sob as the pool house got further and further away.
Once we were a safe distance away, he set me on the ground. Tilting my head from side to side, he inspects me for injuries. Yanking from his hold, I glare at him.
Taking a deep breath, he looks at me with sadness in his eyes. “The only way for what, Fay?”
“To be whole again,” I sob.
“Oh, sweetie,” Beau sobs as he catches me in his arms. “Death is not the answer. It’s no solution.”
“Then what is? Please tell me. I can’t do this anymore.”
My eyes plead with him for the answer because right now death sounds perfect to me. It sounds like a weight lifting off my shoulders, and off Beau’s. He’d be able to live his life instead of constantly worrying about me.
His silence tells me he didn’t have any answers. So, I got it all off my chest.
“You could be free to live your life Beau. You could find a girl, settle down and have a family. It could all be yours, if you weren’t following my every move, protecting me from my parents and Tony. Don’t you want that? Grandpa would want that for you. Please just let me go. Leave. Get your life back.”
“You are part of my life. If you leave, you take another piece I’ll n
ever get back. I’m not burying my sister.”
He carried me in the house, setting me gently on the couch. After telling me he was going to go get some water, I hear the front door slam. It wasn’t until the devil walks into the living room that I jump.
“What the fuck did you do?” He roars as he stomps toward me.
“I… I…” I’m shaking too bad to fully form a sentence.
Just as he raised his hand, Beau grabbed his hand. “Keep your fucking hands off her!”
Beau and Tony begin to wrestle for control over the knife I hadn’t seen in Tony’s hand until now. My breath caught in my throat and I froze. He was going to get hurt. Oh, God…
“Fay, run. Run and don’t look back. Go now!” Beau urges.
“Like hell she’s going anywhere! She’s mine!”
“Go! N…” He roars in pain. “Please…”
All I could do was stare at him as he fell to his knees. His eyes continue to plead with me. Shaking my head, he nods his… Not fully understanding how, but my feet push me toward the door. Just as I reach the door, he grabs my arm.
Screaming, I bolt upright. Immediately, arms wrap around me and I scream again.
“It’s okay. It’s just a dream.”
“He was hurt. He was hurt because of me. I… I need to talk to Beau. Please.”
One of Logan’s arms leave my waist, but soon hands me his phone. “Here, call him.”
Looking down at the phone in my hand, I see he’s already pulled up Beau’s number. All I need to do is hit send. All I need to do is press call.
“What if he hates me?” I say more to myself than to Logan, but he answers anyway.
“He doesn’t, baby. I promise. Call him,” he whispers as he kisses my shoulder.
With a shaking hand, I hit call and put the phone to my ear. The ringing makes my heart race.
“Hello?” Beau’s groggy voice answers.
“Beau,” I sob.
“Fay? What’s wrong?” He sounds more alert now.
Forbidden Paths Page 12
