Then my brain told me what my legs already knew. I was running toward Point Pleasant Park. It was the part of the city closest to the ocean. Kurt always said he felt more alive when he was near the sea. We had gone there on our bicycles dozens of times.
Kurt had it in his head that the hospital was the reason he wasn’t getting better. And now he thought he needed to get outside, to get to the ocean. I ran until my lungs ached from overwork.
I ran through the big iron gates and down the wide forest path. I passed a cop on a horse and a bunch of rowdy kids my own age who were throwing pine cones at each other. Seeing them made me realize how much things had changed for Kurt and me. They were kids, still goofing off. For me and Kurt, everything was forever different. And if I was wrong with my guess, maybe my whole world was about to collapse.
I went west along a narrow trail. I tripped over roots and rocks, stumbled and banged up my legs, but I kept going. Up ahead was the rock outcropping that looked out over the Northwest Arm of the harbor and on out to sea. It was our place.
I thought again about that afternoon we cut detention and Kurt brought me here. I’d never even been to the park before. It was at the end of town where people with money lived. The sun had been going down over the water. It was golden and the pine trees were lit up with the sunlight. He had touched my hand and said, “Let’s just be quiet and watch.” We looked out over the water for a long while. That’s the kind of guy Kurt was.
The trail twisted up the slope, and I had to grab onto the tree roots to keep from sliding down the loose stones. My eyes were having a hard time focussing and my lungs felt ready to explode. Where the trail stopped I heaved myself up onto the rock outcropping, the place we called the Ledge.
I felt his hand as I pulled myself up, even before I could see his face. His hand felt cold. Kurt!
He looked like he was just curled up asleep. I bent over him and put my ear to his mouth. My heart was racing so fast, and I was breathing so hard that at first I couldn’t tell … I held my breath and waited. I felt his breath on my cheek. He was breathing. He was alive, but he wasn’t okay. I rolled him over but couldn’t see any bleeding.
I knew that the problem wasn’t on the outside. It wasn’t anything you could see. His breathing was shallow and jerky. I needed to get him back to the hospital—and fast—but I couldn’t carry him down. It was too steep and too dangerous. I wasn’t strong enough and, besides, I could do more harm.
I think that the hardest thing for me to do, just then, was to leave him alone. All I had on was a light jacket and I threw it over him. Then I scrambled down from the Ledge and ran for help.
When I got to the main pathway, I stopped two guys on racing bikes. I asked one of them to phone an ambulance. The other one I asked to search for the cop I’d seen. They could tell from how freaked-out I was that I was serious. They sped off in opposite directions, and I sat down in the dirt to gather my wits.
chapter thirteen
The ambulance arrived and the attendant, Martha, recognized me at once.
“Get in,” she said. “You’re getting to be a regular customer.”
I was shaking and just plain scared. She put a blanket around me and cupped an oxygen mask over Kurt.
“It wasn’t my idea,” I said. “He should have stayed in the hospital.”
She gave me a curious glance. “Nobody said it was, honey. Relax. Boy, you sure have your hands full looking after this guy. You’re sure he’s worth all the trouble?”
“Yeah, he’s worth it,” I said. I liked her. I knew that she was teasing me in a gentle way to make things seem less scary. I knew she was someone I could trust. While we talked, the driver was whipping down the street with his siren going.
“Shut that damn thing off,” Martha said. “We’re almost there. So just can it.”
The siren wound down with a mournful howl that faded to nothing.
“Know anything about how a liver works?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “Can’t live without it. That his problem?”
“Yeah, I guess he needs a new one or he dies.”
“Transplant time?”
“If they find a donor before it’s too late.”
We backed into the ambulance loading bay and had just come to a stop when another ambulance came roaring in beside us. That driver had the siren up full blast. It was murder on the ears. Two orderlies were about to unload Kurt when the driver of the other ambulance yelled. “This one first. Heart stopped twice. Head injury. Got to get him in quick!”
The orderlies headed to the other ambulance.
I jumped out and started after them. “Wait! We’re important too,” I said. But Martha had grabbed hold of my shoulders.
“Just be calm. Your boyfriend’s more or less stable. That, over there, sounds very bad. Be cool.” She adjusted the oxygen mask on Kurt.
I watched as the other stretcher was unloaded. There was blood all over, and I heard the driver say, “Motorcycle accident. The kid drove into a car and flew over the roof. No helmet. It looks bad.”
As the cart came past us, a doctor approached to get a look at the head wound. When he pulled back the temporary bandage, I got a look at a long gash on his face. I almost didn’t recognize him at first. It was Jason. The idiot had left his helmet with me. It was still in my locker. They wheeled Jason through the open doors and out of view.
Two other attendants came out and unloaded Kurt. I walked with them as far as the door and then Martha tugged me back again.
“Come on,” she said. “I’ll buy you a Coke.” She had seen my expression when they had wheeled Jason past. She didn’t know what the story was, but she knew I needed a friend. I felt like the world had gone hopelessly insane.
In the hospital cafeteria, I explained everything to Martha. She listened well. I didn’t touch the Coke. “Jason is a jerk, but now I feel like I was somehow responsible for his accident. I didn’t chase after him to give him back his helmet.”
“It wasn’t your fault. He didn’t want to wear it. You said it yourself. He thought he was being cool, I suppose.”
“But he didn’t deserve this.”
“Honey, most people who get hurt don’t deserve it.”
Then I told Martha about the picture of me as a vampire. “I think, in his own stupid way, Jason was trying to tell me he was willing to donate some of his blood for transfusions. He even had the right blood type. But now Jason’s the one who’s going to need blood. And there’s not a thing I can do to help either of them.”
Martha gave me a soft, sad look. “I’m afraid you just have to trust the system.”
I know she was just trying to be helpful, but right then, I didn’t trust anybody or anything. I walked outside and down the street to a park where I sat on a kid’s swing. I swung back and forth, kicking my feet high up in the air. I was remembering what it was like to be a kid. Everything had seemed so simple then. It seemed like only yesterday.
chapter fourteen
“He’s awake,” Dr. Bennington told me. “You can go in.”
Kurt was propped up in bed. This time he didn’t have a tube shoved up his nose. It was good to see him smile. I sat down on the edge of the bed, almost afraid to touch him—afraid that if I did, I might injure him in some way.
“I knew you’d know where to find me.”
“Yeah. That’s our place.”
“Except it wasn’t supposed to be like that. I’m sorry.”
I shrugged. “You made a mistake, you big goof. Why’d you leave like that?”
Kurt held out his hand and I took it. For once it felt almost normal. “I didn’t believe all they were telling me. Laying around all day was making me feel lousy. I figured if I could just get out of here—even for a little while—I’d feel better.”
“I know,” I said. “Have they told you everything?” I asked.
“God, I hope so. All they say is that I am to stay hooked up to all of this and stay here until a better option comes along.”
“A transplant?” I wanted to be sure he knew.
“Yeah, a transplant. Like in the Frankenstein movies.” He looked tired again and real bummed out.
“I always kind of liked Frankenstein,” I told him. “He was my hero for a while. A very misunderstood character.”
Kurt tried a brave smile. His energy was fading. “Tina, when I woke up and they told me you had tracked me down, I got thinking. I can’t believe I’ve put you through all this. I think you better just leave me alone for a while and see what happens.”
“Oh sure,” I said. I was angry he was even saying this. It was just like Kurt to try to tough things out on his own.
“No. Really. I’m not much fun like, well, like this.” He pointed down to the wires and tubes going under the sheets. “It’s been rough on you and it’s my fault. So just forget about me until it’s all over one way or the other.”
This made me so angry I almost smacked him in the face. I took a deep breath instead. “Right,” I said with a smirk on my face. “Give up a chance to hang out with Frankenstein? No way.” I did something just then that shocked him. I kissed him on the cheek for the first time ever. And then I got up to go.
I should have kept my mouth shut, but I thought Kurt should know. “Kurt, Jason got himself messed up on his new motorcycle. He’s downstairs.”
Kurt leaned up in bed. “How is he?”
“I don’t know,” I told him. “I don’t know.”
“There goes the season,” Kurt said. What a weird thing, I thought, to think about soccer after all this. But then Kurt hadn’t seen what I had seen.
“Coach will be really ticked off,” I said, backing off from saying what I really thought. “I hope Jason is all right.”
As I walked out the door, I had to pass Kurt’s parents. Mrs. Richards grabbed my sleeve. “You had it all planned, didn’t you?”
“What are you talking about?” I closed the door solidly behind me. I didn’t want Kurt to hear.
“You could have killed him with your little rendezvous,” she said.
“It wasn’t my idea,” I pulled away and walked on. I didn’t need to take any of their crap.
Mr. Richards stalked behind me. “I’ve talked with the administration. This time, they assure me, you won’t be allowed back in the hospital. I’ve explained the problem to them.”
I stopped and spun around. How could they have it all so wrong? I didn’t even know where to begin. So I said nothing and walked onto the elevator.
chapter fifteen
A security guy in his early twenties, who looked like a bouncer in a nightclub, escorted me out of the hospital. “Sorry, kid,” he said. “It’s just my job. I don’t usually have to hassle girls. Just stay away, okay? You must’ve done something to make them unhappy.” I felt like a criminal.
Martha was sitting in the lobby. She saw me being ushered outside and followed.
“Leave the kid alone, Muscle Breath,” she told the guy.
“She’s out of here,” he said. “I’m done. Good-bye.” And he disappeared back into the hospital.
“What’s up?” Martha asked. “My shift was over so I thought I’d hang around.”
“Oh, God,” I said, trying to hold back the tears. “First Kurt. Now Jason.”
“Need a ride?”
“No, I don’t know where to go. I sure don’t feel like going home.”
“Well, what do you feel like?” She was trying to be nice.
I wasn’t thinking about Kurt right then. I was thinking about Jason. I’d seen him on the stretcher. It looked bad. “I feel like a vampire,” I told her.
“I don’t get it.”
“I asked everybody I knew what their blood type was. Kurt is B negative. They said he was going to need lots of blood for transfusions. Guess who was the only person I found with the right blood type?”
“Jason?”
“Yeah. And what I think Jason was trying to tell me before the accident, in his own weird way, was that he wanted to help. He really did care about Kurt and was willing to donate his blood.” What I was thinking just then was scary and awful enough that I felt ashamed.
Martha said it out loud for me. “And if he dies, you’ve got yourself an organ donor.”
I couldn’t look at her. A flood of tears came out of me and I hung onto her shoulder, sobbing.
“Tina, whether Jason lives or dies has nothing to do with you. And whatever we think right now will make no difference to Jason’s chances.”
“I guess I know that. And I don’t really want him to die. It’s just that this may be Kurt’s only opportunity. Especially now. I think that maybe he’s worse off since he ran away from the hospital. More damage.”
“I’m gonna see what I can find out about Jason,” Martha said. “Stay here.”
The minutes dragged on while I waited. Martha returned as promised. “Severe head injury,” she said, looking first at her hands and then down at the floor. “If he’d worn his helmet, he might have been okay, but it’s very bad. He’s on life support, the sort they use for patients that are what they call ‘brain dead.’ If his parents agree, they’ll pull the plug in eight hours. Absolutely nothing they can do.”
I closed my eyes and found that already I missed Jason. I missed his obnoxious macho jokes and his stupid antagonism. I thought about how he and Kurt had grown up in the same neighborhood. Their parents were old chums, and the two kids had often been thrown together. Kurt had always called Jason a friend, though I’d never seen Jason do anything to deserve the title. Jason made fun of Kurt and tried to break him down whenever he could. Guys were funny that way.
Suddenly, I saw something that made me suck in my breath and cover my face with my hands.
We were standing near the glass doors. Outside, a car skidded to a stop. I knew who was inside. I’d met them before. Jason’s father and mother got out and ran past us. I’ll never forget the panic in their faces.
Martha understood before I said anything.
“What will happen?” I said. “I feel so helpless.”
Martha put her arm around me and began walking me out the doors of the hospital. “You go home. I’ll tell Bennington what you told me about the blood type. When the time is right, he’ll talk to Jason’s parents about a transplant. That’s all we can do. Now go home.” She gave me a gentle push.
But I didn’t go home right away. I ran again, all the way back to the Ledge. I watched the sun set over the water. It had a sad beautiful quality that made me think of Jason and Kurt and how stupid life was. When it started to get cold I went home, but I got up at dawn and left a note for my mom. Then I ran all the way back to the hospital.
The morning was gray and cold. The sky was full of bad news, and I kept hoping it was all a dream. It wasn’t.
I got as far as the waiting room in the Outpatient Clinic before someone came up from behind me and grabbed my arm.
“This way.” The voice was not unfriendly. It was Martha.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“You need a friend, Tina. I’m all you’ve got. And they were serious about keeping you out. By the way, you look like hell.”
“Thanks for the news,” I said. I let her lead me outside to the ambulance loading bay.
“Get in,” she said when we got to her ambulance.
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I got inside and she told me to lie down on the gurney. “I’ll take you up to see Bennington.”
I lay down and covered myself with a sheet. Martha opened the back door and wheeled me out onto the ramp and back inside the hospital.
“I’m not supposed to be doing this,” she told me. She sounded nervous.
We traveled up in a crowded elevator, and I pretended to be unconscious. When she wheeled me off on the fourth floor, she asked a nurse where Dr. Bennington was.
“He’s in his office,” the nurse said, looking through the glass door. “Don’t knock. Just go in.”
When we got there, I pulled off the sheet, jumped up and went in through the door, closing it loudly behind me.
Bennington was startled. He looked up from a pile of papers on his desk. “How did you get in here?” he asked, more annoyed than angry.
I shrugged. “How is he?”
“The same,” Bennington said. “We’re doing everything we can. You know that.”
“Did you talk to Jason Evans’ parents?”
Bennington seemed surprised. He rubbed his hand along the desk. “Yeah, I just talked to them about half an hour ago.” I waited for him to say more, but he sat silently with his fingers locked together in front of him.
“Jason told me his blood is B negative.”
“He wasn’t lying. It’s a perfect match.”
“Is Jason alive?”
“The family has decided to discontinue the life support.”
I closed my eyes and thought about Jason.
Bennington knew what I wanted to ask next, and he knew it would be hard for me to ask. I didn’t have to. “I’m not really supposed to be discussing this with you,” he said.
But I just stood there, staring at him. “Please,” I begged.
He let out a sigh. “They refused,” he said. “It’s their right. They’ve suffered a big blow. That’s hard enough and they can’t face a decision like this.”
“But they can’t do that!” I said. “If Jason is going to die and Kurt has a chance to live, then he deserves that chance.”
“That’s not for us to decide.”
“Can I talk to them?”
He snapped immediately. “Absolutely not.” He turned cold and professional again. “You leave them alone.”
“Sure.” I was afraid he’d call somebody and have me thrown out. And I didn’t want to be thrown out, not while there was still hope.
“We’ve got calls in to over thirty donor hospitals. Something will come up.”
“Right,” I said. I didn’t believe a word of it. Finding a donor with B-negative blood was nearly impossible. Nothing had come up so far. The odds were stacked against it.
Sudden Impact Page 4
