by Lila Rose
Hear Me Out Copyright © 2017 by Lila Rose
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any written, electronic, recorded, or photocopied format without the permission from the author as allowed under the terms and conditions with which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
Hear me Out is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and places found in this book are either from the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any similarity to persons live or dead, actual events, locations, or organizations is entirely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Editing: Hot Tree Editing
Interior Designer: RMGraphX
Photographer: Wander Aguiar
Cover Art: Amity Cross
Ebook ISBN: 978-0-6480340-5-6
Table of content
Acknowledgements
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Epilogue
What’s next?
Also by Lila Rose
Connect with Lila Rose
Acknowledgements
Thank you to Lindsey Lawson, who read Hear Me Out as I wrote it and also helped me through the process of figuring so many things out for Beast. Working with you as I went along really helped. These guys are as much yours as they are mine. xx
Becky Johnson, you always amaze me. The process of writing and publishing isn’t easy, but what helps is when an author has an editor like you.
Wander and Andrey, thank you for always being so helpful. Wander, your photos are brilliant!
Prologue
Beast
Rage and fear boiled up inside of me as I punched the door open. The room was full of people, but I couldn’t find it in me to care who saw me losing my shit. It wasn’t every fuckin’ day when a person woke and couldn’t hear shit, and I knew it wasn’t just a blocked ear or some crap like that. It was serious. When my head had been spinnin’ earlier, I’d thought a quick nap would make it better like all the other times. Then fuckin’ bam. Nothin’ but silence when I woke.
My heart thundered in my chest. I rubbed the back of my neck while stalkin’ through the common room at the compound. I needed out. I had to get away to seek help.
Fuck. I was scared.
What if the doctor says I won’t hear anymore?
Jesus. I couldn’t even go there. I was out the door to the compound and headin’ towards my ride when a hand landed on my shoulder causing me to jump like a fuckin’ pussy. I spun around to find Dallas, Dive, and Vicious in my personal space.
Fuck.
Shit. Fuck me.
Their mouths moved, but I couldn’t hear shit.
My gut churned. My heart beat so goddamn hard I laid a hand over my chest.
With wide eyes, I backed up a step. My eyes caught Mena coming up beside her man, Dive. She grabbed his arm and said something to him. All men looked down at her, and Dive replied with something.
Fuck. I couldn’t hear.
Clenching my jaw tightly, so I didn’t cry like a little girl, I swiftly turned and bolted for my ride. If they were yellin’ for me, I didn’t have a bloody clue nor did I care. I wanted answers. Needed them.
Riding towards the hospital, worry seeped into my veins, consuming me. If I couldn’t hear, I’d be useless. I wouldn’t be able to help out my brothers.
Fuck me.
Fuck.
My whole life I’d kept quiet for one main reason. I hadn’t liked how I talked. But it was more than that. More than the sound and nothing to do with my accent. Things with my brain didn’t connect right with my mouth, and sometimes I’d say shit but meant it as something else. It didn’t bother me being silent. My brothers accepted it, but already I was wishin’ I had talked more.
Shit, even with all the teasing I got as a kid, I wished I’d talked more. Life could be fuckin’ cruel. Not only could kids be fuckin’ ruthless, but so could adults. My dad didn’t beat me, but he was a dick about the way I spoke. A dick day in and out when I’d stuff up what I wanted to say or stutter over shit when I tried to get it right. My mum was a gem, but my dad… fuckin’ arsehole. Lost count of the times he’d smack me in the back of the head and yell, “Spit it out right!”
I shouldn’t have let them get to me.
Christ, I should have talked more.
After finding a parking spot, I climbed off my ride and found a car pulling in beside me. My glare turned to it, and Mena clambered out of Dive’s vehicle. Her lips moved, her eyes shone with panic, and her hands moved all over the place. I pulled my brows down and shook my head at her.
She stopped just in front of me. Her hands and fingers did some shit in front of her, but I didn’t have a clue what, and then I saw her sigh. She lay a single palm on my arm. I didn’t need her worry. Shrugging off her hold, I started towards the doors. Then a hand grabbed me with a force I didn’t expect her to have. She pulled me around to face her, drew her hand up and tapped her mouth. I looked there. Slowly, she mouthed, “Let me help.”
My heart did a double beat that hurt.
Did she know I couldn’t hear?
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I looked up her number and realised I didn’t have it. She slid my phone from my hand and pressed her fingers over it for a few moments before turning it to show me.
In a text, she wrote out: You can’t hear, can you?
Slowly, I closed my eyes, pain slicing my chest. Opening them, I looked up at her and shook my head.
Her smile was sad as she nodded and typed something else into the phone. When she passed it back over, I read it. Let’s go in and find out why.
Fucking hell.
She needed to leave. I was good at dealing with shit on my own. I didn’t need a brother’s old lady taggin’ along trying to fix me.
The phone was thrust back in front of my face. I’m not leaving. Deal with it.
I found myself snorting. Mena was finally growing into her biker babe status. She’d first been meek and mild. Since then, it seemed she was becoming stubborn as shit.
With a frustrated groan, one I couldn’t fuckin’ hear myself, I nodded and started for the doors once again, with Mena matching my strides beside me.
Mena
Ever since Beast had come home from Sydney, after helping Dallas and Melissa, I had noticed there was something wrong. He’d acted the same, smiling when he was with his brothers, working out in the mechanical business when he had to, but staying his silent self. However, I’d also noticed times when dizziness would overcome him. He’d find somet
hing to hold on to until it passed. He wasn’t a man a woman could get to know; he kept to himself a lot, except with his brothers, especially Knife, but even with that bond something had changed. Since they’d been back, I hardly saw them together. I wondered if something had happened between the two of them. Only what, I didn’t know.
Kalen had seen me one day watching Beast. Stupidly, and kind of jokingly, he’d asked if I had a crush on Beast and if I did, he would beat the man black and blue. Of course I told him how ridiculous he was being. I also told him that I had a feeling something was going on with Beast. He’d smiled and said, “Sunshine, love you. But leave the brother alone.”
I couldn’t do as my man had asked though. Beast was dealing with things he didn’t need to on his own, and I wanted to help him.
When Beast had stormed from the bedroom area at the compound earlier, I knew, knew something bad had happened. And as I watched his fast pace through the room, he took no notice of his brothers, nor some of the women calling him. Then it was as if something clicked; I got up and raced after him. When I found him and his brothers outside, I saw Beast’s puzzled expression as his brothers tried to talk to him.
When I had been working in childcare, there had been a little girl who had been deaf. She was timid but sweet, so I’d made an effort to learn sign language so I could talk with her.
Why she popped into my mind as I watched Beast leave didn’t register immediately, not until I saw her expressions of confusion and frustration mirrored on Beast’s face.
I realised then, as he stormed off from his brothers, that he couldn’t hear a single word said.
Grabbing Kalen’s arm, I whispered in a rushed voice, “Let me follow him. He doesn’t need a brother right now.”
“I don’t think—”
“Please, Kalen. Please trust me in this.”
He searched my face and finally nodded. Knowing his keys had been in his pocket, I grabbed them quickly and ran for his car. I was surprised I’d made it to the hospital car park just after Beast. At first, I thought he would have told me to get lost, even when I demanded to go in with him. So I was shocked when he nodded. Then again, the fear in his eyes was palpable.
While we waited, I sat beside Beast as he bounced his leg up and down, biting his thumbnail again and again while his eyes flicked wildly around the room.
Knowing him… actually, knowing he was a Hawks member, there was no doubt he was searching for potential threats. Despite my need to reassure him that nothing could harm us in there, I didn’t, thinking at least his search kept his mind occupied.
“Maddox Lawson?”
Since I’d seen the paperwork Beast had filled out, I knew that was his name. Glancing at him, I saw he had his eyes over at the front door. Reaching out, I tapped his arm. He spun his gaze to me, and I gestured to the doctor. We both walked into the emergency room.
“Hi, I’m Doctor Spencer.” The doctor smiled as we entered, his hand flying out to the bed. He eyed Beast in his biker gear as Beast sat on the bed. I stood behind it while the doctor sat in the swivel chair opposite the bed. “What seems to be the problem?”
Beast’s brows dipped low, so I shifted forward and said, “Be—Maddox is having trouble hearing.”
“Hmm.” The doctor flipped open whatever file he had for Beast. “Says here he was in an accident nearly five weeks ago and had a bad head injury.” He looked up. “Has there been any other problems?”
“I’ve seen him get dizzy a few times,” I offered.
I jumped when Beast slapped a hand to the bed. Blushing, since we were talking about him like he wasn’t there, I typed into his phone: Sorry. The doctor said you were in an accident and asked if anything else was going on. I told him I’ve noticed that you’ve been getting dizzy. I quickly handed it to him.
After he had read it, he nodded and then deleted what I had and wrote back.
Taking the phone, I read it out to the doctor: Headaches. I looked up, concerned.
Doctor Spencer nodded and wrote a few things down before he suddenly stood and said, “I just have to speak with another doctor, and we’ll need to run some tests. I’ll be back.”
I typed into the phone what the doctor said and handed it to Beast. He read it, dropped the phone to the bed, and then ran a hand over his face.
Without thinking, I signed that everything would be okay. His eyes narrowed on my hands. Biting my bottom lip, I cringed and picked up the phone again. Sorry, I was using sign language. You don’t know it?
After he had read it, he shook his head, but then typed something back. I read it as he did. I never needed it. I could hear and talk.
My eyes widened. I grabbed the phone. You can talk?
Pain darkened his eyes, he nodded. “I talk don’t right.” His face screwed up in frustration. He couldn’t hear himself, yet he knew he’d said it wrong. He snapped the phone from me and typed out: I don’t talk right. My words get mixed up. I know what I want to say, but it comes out wrong.
I typed: Is it all the time?
He shook his head, clenching his jaw. I could tell he didn’t like talking about it, so even though I wanted to ask a million questions, I didn’t. He had enough to worry about.
With the phone in my hand, I thought about what I wanted to say. He needed to know that everyone around him who was important wouldn’t care how he spoke. If his hearing loss was forever, he should feel comfortable to still speak.
Standing from the chair, I paced the room and typed into the phone. No matter the outcome today, you have people who will support you. Even if you don’t feel you could talk to them (though, I think they wouldn’t care how you spoke), there are other ways to communicate. Like sign language. These are just thoughts for now. We don’t know anything yet. But I want you to know, we all care.
A nurse came through the curtain. She smiled at me, and when she spotted Beast, the big, brooding man on the bed, her eyes widened.
“Um.” She started and then licked her lips as her gaze travelled over him. “I came to take your blood.” When I glanced to Beast, I saw he sat glaring at her.
Smiling, I nodded to the nurse and added, “It’s fine.” So while she went about it, I handed the phone back to Beast.
His jaw clenched a few times, and after he had finished reading, he placed the phone on the bed. When he pulled his head up to meet my gaze with his own, I saw moisture in them. My heart clenched for the large man. As soon as the nurse moved away, I was at his side in seconds, and without a thought, I wrapped my arms around his waist. It took a few beats until I felt his arms wind around my shoulders.
Beast
Heart of gold. My brother was fuckin’ lucky to have a woman like Mena. Christ, to have her there with me meant a lot, and I wasn’t sure I could ever repay her. However, I wasn’t certain I could let her words in. My brothers may not care how I spoke, but I fuckin’ did. I sounded like a dick. She tried to give me hope to hold on to, but I knew I was fucked.
Never would I hear again.
Fuckin’ hell.
It hurt. Christ, did it hurt.
So when the doctors came back in hours later, and after a heap more tests, some from different doctors, I had Mena write down everything they said, with me watchin’ over her shoulder. I wasn’t surprised when she wrote I wouldn’t hear again. It’d been due to the bike accident I’d had before I went to Sydney. Due to the head injury, they called it a sensorineural hearing loss. As they handed Mena some pamphlet shit about it all, I sat there with no thought running through my mind.
I was finally numb.
Chapter One
Beast
There was a knock at my door once again. Hell, I couldn’t hear it, but I could feel the pounding against it since my living room wasn’t far from the door. Whoever it was wanted my attention, but there was no way I was gettin’ my arse up off the couch and away from the drink of straight whisky in my hand.
It’d been a few weeks since the hospital visit, and I’d hidden away feeling s
orry for myself. And I didn’t give a fuck who knew it. I hadn’t left my house except to buy booze. I ordered food in, kept an eye out for it since I couldn’t motherfuckin’ hear the door unless they were being dicks like the person currently still at the front. The fucker must have been stomping their feet to make that much vibration in the wooden floor.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I dragged it out and looked at the screen; it was a little blurry with the amount I’d drunk, but I could work out it was from Dodge, Prez of the Hawks MC, Caroline Springs charter. Open your fuckin’ door or I’m gonna kick it in.
Shit.
I had a mind to ignore the fucker. Then again, no one ignored the president and got away with it. Lifting myself off the couch, I set my drink on the side table and stumbled over to the door and opened it. Without looking at him, I turned back around and made my way back to the couch. My spot was still warm as I sank down into it. I felt the front door being slammed shut and too soon, Dodge stood in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring.
My chin lifted in greeting, just before I picked up my glass and took another sip. His jaw clenched. He was pissed, but I could also see concern splashed across his face. Hell, why else would he be at my place?
Dodge shifted, and when he did, it was to pull a piece of paper out of his back pocket and hand it to me.
Slowly, I took it and just looked at it. I didn’t have a fuckin’ clue what it said, but since my emotions were shot to shit, a thought flashed through my head about the note sayin’ I was cut from the club since I was a deaf, dumb dick.
