by Laura Ward
Melissa glared at Thing Two. When she finally turned her attention to me, she raised her eyebrows, daring me to disagree. That look only lasted for a moment before she stared past me, her mouth falling open in shock. I looked over my shoulder to find Liam behind me, twirling a key ring around one finger. He had changed out of his uniform and was back in his black jeans and boots, this time wearing a gray V-neck tee.
“Want to go for a ride?” He lifted his chin in the direction of the parking lot.
I paused and looked back at the girls. MaryAnn wore a small, excited smile. Talia’s eyes darted back and forth between Liam, Melissa, and then me. Melissa's jaw was clenched, and her face was a furious shade of red.
“Don’t even think about it, Alexis.” Melissa bit out her words, and Liam chuckled in response.
He turned and walked away without another word.
“He’s below us. Don’t waste your time.” Melissa looked down at her hand, inspecting her manicure. She looked up as Thing One returned, followed by a different server holding a tray of soda and food.
“Below us?” I shook my head. “Is that why you were so eager to kneel at his feet and give him a preview?” Melissa’s mouth flew open in shock. I was usually the quiet one. I didn’t ruffle feathers. But I wasn’t about to let her insult Liam just because she didn’t get her way. She’d never been my friend. I didn’t trust, like, or respect her. Liam? I didn’t know him well, but I liked him. He certainly wasn’t below any of these girls.
My eyes searched the pool area to find him slowly and confidently walking toward the exit. Yes. I liked him, but was I willing to ditch my friends to go with him and risk Melissa’s anger?
Sam? Help me out here. Smart decision or crazy decision?
I bit my lip, trying to decide.
Crazy smart, you say?
Hell, yes.
I darted back to my chair, slipped on my cutoff shorts and flip-flops, and grabbed my bag.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Melissa sat up and scowled at me.
“I’m going for a ride.” I grinned and gave her a flippant wave before jogging down the side of the pool and out the front gate. Worrying about what Melissa thought of me would be a waste of my time. There was no chance my mood would improve if I subjected myself to her for the rest of the day.
But Liam. Liam made me smile. I chased his dark figure through the parking lot. Choosing to follow him was the smartest decision I’d made in a long time.
Chapter Five
“Liam!” I ran as fast as my flip-flops allowed and reached his Jeep just as he started the engine.
He rolled the window down and grinned, an unlit cigarette dangling from between his lips. “Hey, Lex.” His voice was calm and deep, and I watched as his eyes traveled from my bikini top to my shorts. His smile brightened, and he blew out a breath. “Hop in.”
My stomach tightened as I rounded the car. My mother would be pissed if she knew I was leaving with Liam. I took a deep breath and blew it out. Liam was a licensed driver. He had a traffic violation, but if he were truly dangerous, the judge would have taken his license away. Besides, he’d come from work, not a party. It’s not like he’d been drinking or taking drugs.
I pushed thoughts of my mom out of my head. I liked the way Liam smiled at me. I craved the way my stomach flipped with anticipation whenever he looked my way. And I loved the way my grief faded into the background whenever he was around.
I pulled the door open and hoisted myself onto the hot leather seat. As soon as my belt was buckled, Liam slipped on a pair of sunglasses and peeled out of the parking lot, tires screeching as he rounded the corner.
“Did you quit your job?” My right hand clutched the door handle, and the other clung to the edge of my seat. My heart raced as I watched how he loosely gripped the steering wheel while his other held his now-lit cigarette. His confidence was all-consuming.
“Fuck yes. Nobody talks to me like that. They couldn’t pay me enough to put up with a stuck-up princess like her.”
I pressed my head against the back of the seat. “Melissa’s not a princess. She’s a queen—queen of the bitches. Always has been.”
He glanced over at me with narrowed eyes. “You were sitting with her. Aren’t you friends?”
A laugh tumbled out of me. “God no. She’s way too shallow and evil. But unfortunately, my friends, MaryAnn and Talia, wanted to hang out with her.” I turned my head to look out the window. “Popularity isn't at the top of my to-do list. I don’t give a crap what Melissa thinks of me.” I drew my bottom lip between my teeth and watched as the trees along the road flashed by the windows in a blur of green and brown.
The Jeep slowed as we approached a stoplight, and I could finally breathe normally again now that we weren’t recklessly hurtling down the streets. When I turned to Liam, he was staring at me.
“What?” My heart beat faster under his scrutiny. I tugged at the fringe on my cutoffs as I forced myself not to look away.
Smoke circled above his head, and I felt exposed under his penetrating stare. Something about his gaze was probing, searching, and I was anxious. Everything about Liam was intense, and I worried he just might have the power to destroy what little remained of my heart if he wasn’t careful. He was all harsh lines and wickedness. Except for his eyes. They were a vivid green, bright and intoxicating.
“I’m trying to figure you out,” he finally said. “Straight A student, right?”
I shrugged before nodding. There was no point in denying it. I had goody-goody plastered all over me.
“Scared of a B?” he asked. His smile reached all the way to his eyes.
I looked away, my gaze focused on the road ahead of us. The light turned green, and as he accelerated, I spoke softly.
“I’m scared of everything.”
We drove in silence for a few minutes, the words I’d spoken echoing through my mind. Liam didn’t look at me again, and my stomach was in knots wondering if he was judging me. I was a coward, and he was the exact opposite. I focused on taking even breaths before I could talk again.
“You invited me along for a ride, what do you want to do?”
Liam pulled into an empty parking lot and came to a stop before answering. He slung his arm over the back of my seat, twisting to face me. “I was thinking I could teach you how to drive stick. You know, since I offered the first day of class.” His shameless grin forced me to blush.
Shit. Driving? No. I wasn’t ready for that. Driving stick? Hell no.
Or was he referring to something else? My heart was struggling to get out of my chest at the thought. “I’m not very comfortable in cars, Liam. Especially behind the wheel.” I concentrated on each word and hoped I didn’t sound as terrified as I was inside.
“I can tell.” Liam turned off the engine and leaned toward me. “You’re shaking like I plan to sacrifice you to a volcano.” He laid his hand on top of mine and ran his thumb over my knuckles. My stomach settled a bit, but my heart was still beating full tilt. “You have to drive with Weinberg next week. Any time he mentions our on-the-road lessons, you damn near have a seizure. I was thinking it might be easier for you to learn with me.”
“You have a traffic violation,” I said, flashing him a wry smile.
“One too many speeding tickets. I’ve never been in an accident.”
“Speeding is still breaking the law. You’re the last person who should be giving me driving lessons.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Lex. You trust me.” He spread his hand over mine, lacing our fingers together. My skin felt hot from the intimacy of his touch. I hardly knew him, and even though I felt like I should pull away, I didn’t want to. “Even though you’re scared, you know I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m the perfect person to teach you.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready.” I glanced at our hands, enjoying the way his strong tan fingers were tangled almost protectively with mine. I chanced a look up at him. “I don’t know if I ever
will be.”
He nodded, his eyes squinting as he studied me. My face flushed, and I squirmed in my seat. “You’re a perfectionist, and failure terrifies you. Right?” he asked.
How did he see me so clearly when most people just looked through me? Or past me? “Yes, but that’s not the only reason I’m scared.”
“You hang out with that bitch back at the country club. What could be scarier than that?”
A nervous laugh snuck past my lips. “Actually, I’m scared of not being in control. I have no power over other drivers or the weather or animals darting out into the road. And that frightens me. Being in a car scares the hell out of me.”
Liam rubbed his chin with the edge of his fist as we sat in silence. “But I could make the point,” he finally said, “that if you were the one driving that you would have more control than if you were a passenger. And,” he said, putting a hand up to keep me from interrupting him, “the better you are at driving, the better you can handle any unforeseen events.” He dropped the hand he held up and squeezed my knee. “You have to learn to trust yourself.”
I opened my mouth to argue but found I had no response. He was right. I could determine how much control I had. I didn’t have to end up a victim of someone else’s poor judgment. I had to start trusting myself. That was the only way I’d learn to overcome my doubts. Before I lost Sam, I’d always trusted my instincts. Now, I questioned everything. I had to face my fears.
I took a deep, shaky breath. “Okay. I want you to teach me.” I also wanted him to keep touching me, but I kept that thought to myself.
He smiled, his eyes glinting in the bright sunlight. “I got you.”
***
“I put it in first,” I said to myself, pushing the clutch in as I shifted the car into first gear.
Liam groaned and rubbed his forehead. “You have to stop saying that.”
“What?” Even though the car wasn’t moving, I didn’t dare take my eyes off the pavement in front of me.
He sighed. “Nothing. Just say it in your head next time. Please.”
I frowned. “Why do you get so bent out of shape every time I say ‘put it in first’? You were the one that wanted to teach me, remember?”
“I do want to teach you. It’s just hard watching you fondle the gearshift as you talk about putting it in.”
Sweet Moses. Boys and their filthy minds.
“I was not fondling,” I argued, concentrating on easing out the clutch as I lifted my foot off the brake and pressed the gas, just as I’d been doing for the past twenty minutes. The car moved forward as I perfectly transferred to first gear without stalling. Despite his griping about my mumbling, Liam was a patient teacher. I’d done so many laps around the parking lot I’d lost count, and I hadn’t had a single panic attack.
Even though I was in a car. Without a license. Being taught by a guy who was taking driver’s ed too.
For a moment I was the carefree, brash one. And I liked it.
After I reached down to shift into second gear, I left my hand there and gripped the shifter loosely. I fought back a smile as I rubbed my palm over the top before wrapping my fingers around the stick and moving my hand up and down a few times. Liam made a strangled noise from the seat beside me. Wicked Lex was quite fun.
I returned my hand to the steering wheel to guide the car around for another loop in the parking lot. Once I was on the straightaway again, I shifted into third and repeated the motions with my hand.
Liam pressed his head back into the seat, and I glanced over to see that his eyes were closed. “Fuck, Lex.” He muttered like he was in pain. “I didn’t realize by giving you control you’d make me lose it.”
I laughed. “I’m sorry. It was just a joke.” As I neared the end of the parking lot, I downshifted and brought the car to a careful stop. I was pretty impressed with myself.
“Don’t do that to Weinberg. Old dude will have a stroke on the spot.”
I tapped my fingertips on the steering wheel. “No worries. We’re not driving stick with Weinberg, remember? His overactive manly testosterone is safe with me.”
Liam grunted, and I couldn’t tell if he was agreeing or disagreeing.
“Anyway,” I said, turning to face him. “I appreciate you doing this. I feel so much better about next week now.” I pushed the button on the seat belt and pulled it from across my chest.
“Wait.” Liam grabbed the belt to keep me from completely unbuckling. “We’re not done.”
I scowled. “But I did just fine. I haven’t stalled at all in the past ten minutes.”
He pulled the belt back across my body, pausing to stare at my chest for a moment as the strap settled between my breasts.
“Seriously?” I waved my hand in front of his face. “Eyes up here, trouble.”
His gaze lifted to meet mine, but instead of being embarrassed, he merely laughed. “It’s not my fault you’re wearing a tiny bikini top. Besides, you started it with the fondling. I can’t be blamed for my actions when you’re wearing next to nothing and tormenting me. It’s not nice to tease.” He snapped the buckle in place and then settled back into his seat. “Now that you’ve mastered the parking lot, let’s hit the open road.”
A flash of terror gripped my chest, squeezing so tightly I could hardly breathe. “Absolutely not.” I grabbed for the buckle again, but Liam’s hand was there, wrapping gently and protectively around mine.
“Come on, tease. You can do this. Didn’t you feel powerful driving this baby?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’d hardly call doing laps around a parking lot powerful.” I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. Lapping a parking lot might not be much, but every time I managed to get the Jeep from a complete stop to third gear without stalling, I became a little stronger. A little more in control. A little less scared.
Liam let go of my hand, lifted his foot up onto the dashboard, and then pulled the lever to tilt his seat back. “We’re gonna be sitting her for a long time then, Lex. Because I’m not taking you home until you conquer this fear and drive on a real road.”
“I could walk,” I pointed out.
He rested his elbow on his knee, and when he turned to face me, his grin was mischievous. “You could. But then you’d miss teasing me as you fondle the gearshift and put it in first.”
Shit. He was right about that too. I took a deep breath. “Do you think I’m ready?”
His eyes assessed me in that deep way he had. Studying me, looking through me, discovering all the things I tried so hard to hide. “You got this.”
Without another word, I put the Jeep in first gear and headed for the main road. I could almost feel the smug satisfaction rolling off Liam as he sat beside me. He didn’t say much except to tell me when to turn or remind me to put on my blinker or look before changing lanes. I noticed that he took me down flat streets with very few stop signs, and I appreciated that he was purposely avoiding hills and sudden stops. Liam seemed to understand all my unspoken concerns. He was giving me the confidence that I so desperately needed.
As we drove down a back road with cornfields on either side, I relaxed. Liam reached over to turn on the radio, and when he started to sing and hum along under his breath, I was impressed. He was good. And it had been a long time since I’d been able to enjoy listening to music.
When the song ended, he finally spoke. “How do you feel?”
I didn’t dare turn to look at him, but I smiled. “Surprisingly good.” I noticed for the first time how light I felt inside, and I added, “Renewed.”
“Renewed,” Liam repeated. “I like that.”
We drove along in silence, and I lost track of time as Liam sang along to the radio, pausing only to tell me when he wanted me to turn. When I noticed the skies turning a turbulent shade of gray and saw the first few drops of rain splatter across the windshield, my nerves returned with a vengeance.
“What’s wrong?” Liam asked. “You’re shaking.”
“I… it’s raining. I don�
��t want to drive in the rain.” My voice rose in pitch as the skies opened up with the sudden ferocity of a violent summer storm. In a matter of seconds, I could barely see out the windshield. I couldn’t breathe, and I was shaking so hard, it was difficult to steer. “Liam…,” I whined. I was having a full-blown panic attack.
I’m scared, Sam. Keep me safe. I need you.
“It’s okay,” Liam said, placing his hand over mine where it rested on the gearshift. “Just pull over to the side of the road. We’ll switch.” In a calm voice he gave me directions, reminding me how to downshift, promising me everything was going to be okay. When the car came safely to a stop, he made sure the shifter was in first gear and pulled up the parking brake before reaching over to turn off the engine.
I dropped my face into my hands, hot tears spilling out of my eyes just as quickly as the rain was pelting the Jeep. Liam leaned over the center console, pulling me against his chest. My sobs were silent, but he spoke an endless stream of comforting words while he rubbed my back. Liam made me feel completely normal for freaking out while driving in the rain.
If he only knew the truth.
It wasn’t long before the sudden storm moved on and the only evidence it had existed at all were the rivulets of water that slid down the windows. Liam held me against him long after my crying had stopped.
He probably thought I was completely crazy.
He’d be right.
When his finger reached up under my chin and he lifted my face away from his chest, the look in his eyes was unexpected. He didn’t look at me like I was crazy. He didn’t look at me like he pitied me. He looked into my eyes, and I believed he could understand my unexplained grief. He allowed me to fall apart in his arms.
Liam leaned forward and kissed the tracks of tears that snaked down my cheek. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” I didn’t attempt to stop him, and he tilted my face, kissing the other side.
So many people had pitied my pain or been uncomfortable by it. Liam was the first person to share it with me, and he didn’t even know what was causing it. When he leaned in to kiss my cheek again, I turned my face so that our lips brushed against one another.
