by Laura Ward
The idea terrified me. Not because I was scared of him, but because I was scared for him. Of the kind of trouble he could get himself into.
I stared down at my lap where I was tangling my fingers together in worry. That was the first fight I’d ever seen up close. Liam had pummeled that guy into the ground even though they were supposed to be friends. No matter how many times I’d told myself that Liam was trouble, I’d never expected that side of him. He’d never been anything but patient and kind to me. But the blood. God. There had been so much blood.
I glanced to the side, looking at the corded muscles of his arms. They were still tightly wound with stress. Even though he’d been gentle when he held me, those muscles were capable of power and uncontrollable anger. I’d never seen so much fury in a person before, and I couldn’t even begin to guess what had sparked it.
There were so many unknowns about Liam, but there was one thing I knew for certain. That guy at the carnival wasn’t the Liam I’d gotten to know in the past few weeks. That wasn’t the same Liam who had made me feel so safe in his Jeep. That wasn’t the same Liam who made inappropriate jokes and kissed me so perfectly. That Liam from the carnival was a boy who’d known pain that I couldn’t even begin to imagine.
We rode in silence a few more minutes before Liam finally pulled to the side of the road. He pressed a button and lowered each of our windows before turning off the car and lighting a cigarette. The air coming in through the windows was thick with the last remnants of the day’s humidity, but I liked the sounds of summer that filtered in through the heavy silence around us.
The date had been amazingly perfect until his friends showed up. I wanted the past thirty minutes to go away. I wanted things back to the way they were before.
Tell me what to say, Sam. I know if you were here, you’d know how to fix things. Help a girl out. Give me the right words.
I turned toward Liam, focusing on the red from the cherry of his lit cigarette. “Where are we?”
Ugh. Pathetic. Thanks a lot, Sam.
He blew a puff of smoke out his open window, and the leather of his seat creaked as he turned back to me. “The reservoir. I’ll take you home. I just need a little time to calm down. I don’t want our night to end on what you saw back there.”
The sound of crickets and other summer insects chirping increased in volume as we sat in silence. “Okay,” I finally said. I wasn’t sure what else to say. I didn’t know how to deal with this new side of Liam.
“I’m sorry I ruined our night, Lex. I never should’ve done that in front of you.” Liam stubbed out his cigarette and reached above his head to turn on an interior light. The warm yellow hurt my eyes as I adjusted to the intrusive brightness. With the ability to see clearly, I focused on Liam. His face was etched with worry, his eyes pinched at the corners, his mouth flat and serious.
I thought about reaching out and holding his hand, to try to ease some of his concern. I wanted to coax back the Liam from earlier in the night, but I refrained, not certain he’d welcome my touch. What I needed was for him to talk to me, to trust me enough to open up about what was going through his mind. I’d told him so much about myself, about Sam, and yet I still didn’t know much about him.
The only thing I knew was that I was pulled to him by a force that was stronger than my own common sense. I couldn’t fight that force. I didn’t want to.
“Do you do that often?” I asked him.
His laugh was low and pained. “Do what often? Fight?” He looked out the front window and shook his head.
“Yes. Punch people, make them bleed. Wasn’t he your friend?”
“Yeah, but he deserved it.” Liam turned back to me, his eyes inspecting my expression. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
He took a deep breath. “Our lives are completely different, Lex.” He raised his hand in a loose fist, running the backs of his fingers along my jaw. My breath caught in my chest as his thumb stroked over my skin in slow, gentle circles. “So different.” He stared into my eyes, and I leaned forward, mirroring his posture. I placed my hand on his jaw. His chin was rough with stubble and tight with worry.
“Help me understand.” My voice was needy, begging, but that’s only because I was desperate to figure him out, to unlock the secrets he kept close. I wanted to know how he could be the sweet, patient boy who taught me to drive and then beat the living hell out of his friend a few days later. It didn’t add up for me.
He reached up to grab my fingers that were still touching his cheek, and he adjusted them so that he was holding my hand. “I didn’t grow up the way you did. The only thing I could ever depend on were my fists. That’s how I protect myself and those I care about. Yeah, Adam’s my boy, but he crossed a line. Said something he shouldn’t. And in my world, when that happens, you teach a lesson. That lesson usually means blood.”
I cringed at his bluntness and then felt guilty about it. He’d said our lives were different, but that didn’t mean mine was better than his. I had no right to look down at him. Too many people already did that. In my world, there were lessons and punishments too. They were more calculated and less physical, but they were no less vicious. Like Melissa’s threat to get her father to have Liam fired from the country club. When I thought about it, I wasn’t sure which lesson was more cruel—fists or social war.
“What did Adam do to make you so mad? Was it because you wanted to hang out with me instead of going to the levees?” God, I hope not. That’d be the overreaction of the century.
Liam shook his head and traced patterns on my jaw with his thumb. “It’s not important, angel. Just know that when you’re with me, you’re safe. No one hurts you. No one touches you.” He leaned forward, letting his lips hover next to mine. “If anyone tries to hurt you, I’ll make them pay. I mean it.”
A chill skittered down my spine. The passion in his words was so strong that the air around us was charged with unspoken promises. Why would Liam feel such a fierce need to protect me? It frightened me that I enjoyed it so much. I swallowed. “Why did you call me angel?”
He tilted his chin up and pressed his lips to my forehead and then trailed kisses down my face, stopping to press his mouth to the corner of mine. He leaned back to let his eyes scan the length of me, head to toe, as he grinned. “It’s hard not to think of you as an angel when you’re dressed all in white and looking so goddamn perfect. You’re so… good.” He shook his head with a sad smile. “I have no right to want you as much as I do.”
His eyes darted to my lips, and then his mouth was on mine again, stealing the words I wanted to say—I’m not perfect… I’m not good… I want you too. He sucked on my lower lip, pulling it into his mouth with such gentleness I thought I might melt into a puddle on his floorboards. How could so much rage be wrapped up in this much tenderness?
My hands snaked around the back of Liam’s neck, and I moved to bring his mouth back to mine, grazing the tip of my tongue against his. I could faintly taste the smoke of his cigarette, but I could also taste the sugar of the funnel cake we’d shared. He was a heady mix of danger and sweetness that was so uniquely Liam it made me crave more. I slid my tongue against his again, and Liam’s groan was the only warning I got before his mouth was devouring mine, demanding kisses from me that I was only too happy to return.
“You even taste good,” Liam murmured against my lips before dropping his face to the curve of my neck where he nibbled along my skin, leaving goose bumps in his wake. “I want to taste every single inch of you. I think I’m addicted.”
His lips pressed against my pulse point, and I was sure he could feel the frantic beating of my heart. My entire body felt like it was vibrating for him. I couldn’t decide what I wanted more—for him to keep whispering his precious thoughts against my neck, or for him to go back to worshipping my lips.
As if he knew my inner turmoil, Liam trailed a slow pathway of kisses up my neck toward my greedy mouth.
“You look like an angel,�
� he said, whispering a kiss under my ear. His quiet words trickled down my neck in a delicious shiver. “You act like an angel, too good to be true.” He left a kiss on the side of my jaw before turning my face to his, his lips hovering over mine with so much heat I thought he might burn me when he finally kissed me. “You’re my angel, Lex. And I think you just might save me.”
Before I could even think about what he meant, Liam’s lips were on mine again, hot and feverish and possessive. I tangled my fingers in the wild strands of his hair. I wanted to latch on, to anchor myself to him. He thought I could save him, but I was already floundering in the overwhelming flood of emotions I felt for him.
He groaned as his tongue slipped over mine. His arms wrapped around me and his fingers dug into my skin, holding me tightly like he might never let me go. Liam finally tore his lips from mine and leaned forward until our heads just barely touched as we traded harsh, needy breaths.
“I know I don’t deserve you.” He brought his fist to his chest, right over his heart. “And I know I’ve made mistakes, but when I’m with you, I want to be better. You make me feel like one day I could be worthy. I want to be good enough for you, Lex.”
My heart slammed against my chest. I had never heard anything in my life that made me feel the way his words did. I felt a smile tease across my mouth because Alexis was a good girl, but I wanted to be Lex. His Lex.
“But what if…” I licked my lips, gathering my courage. “What if I’m tired of being good? What if I want to be bad? With you?” My eyes fluttered shut because I couldn’t bear to look at him, to see him laugh if he thought my response was ridiculous.
There was a quiet pause as I sat in my own darkness, waiting for him to answer. With a hungry groan he unbuckled my seat belt and pulled me over the console and into his lap, guiding me until I was straddling him.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” he warned, gliding his hands up my back, tracing the dip of my spine and causing me to shiver. “I want to do the right fucking thing when it comes to you, and you keep tempting me to break all the rules.” His hand slid up my arm, teasing back the neckline of my sweater so he could slip his finger under the thin strap of my tank top. I tingled all over.
“Can I tell you something?” I locked my eyes on his.
“Anything.” His finger slid back and forth under the strap, just barely touching my shoulder.
“I’m tired of playing it safe all the time.” I glanced at his beautiful mouth before meeting his gaze again. “I want to take risks with you,” I admitted.
His returning smile was mischievous. The fact was, Liam had owned me from the moment he called me Lex that very first day. I’d never had a chance against his charm.
“You sure about that, angel? Do you know what you’re asking for?”
Angel. Gah! How was I supposed to think straight when he kept saying that? I decided then and there that Liam O’Connell should come with a warning label—or maybe several.
Warning: Not approved by parents. Warning: May cause heart palpitations. Warning: Magic lips may result in difficulty breathing. Warning: Intense feelings may cause panties to burst into flames.
Because seriously, he was a supernova. He burned brilliant and fierce, and I knew I didn’t have much time with him. At the end of the summer, we’d probably go our separate ways when we went off to school, but I was still willing to take whatever I could get from him. I was ready to risk losing my heart for even the smallest piece of his brightness.
I rested my forehead against his, smelling his cologne mixed with smoke, committing the scent to memory. “For the first time since Sam died, there’s color back in my life,” I told him. “You make me feel alive.”
Who knew the boy in black would be so vibrant?
“Lex.” He closed his eyes and took a ragged breath. “I want you more than I want to breathe. More than I’ve ever wanted anything.” He gripped my ass, pulling me flush against his chest. Between my legs, I could feel the truth of just how much he wanted me. He held on to my waist and tilted his hips up just slightly, rubbing against me. A jolt of heat raced up my body from where we touched. I shuddered. My hips pressed back against Liam, my body hungry to feel it again. He moaned, and I felt it echo through my chest too.
“I’ve never… I’m a virgin, Liam.” That’s what my mouth said, what my brain insisted I tell him, but my body had gone rogue and was beyond my control when I rocked against him again. There were a lot of things I thought I’d needed in my life before, but I’d never needed anything as much as I needed him to push back up against me.
Without my having to say the words, Liam pivoted his hips into me again, the rhythm and friction of our bodies forcing me to close my eyes. I wanted to savor the way every part of me clenched tight, sparking with heat.
I wanted more of him.
“I know, I know.” His voice was low, rough, and in control as he slowly thrust up into me again, meeting the demands my body was begging of him. “I’m not pressuring you for that.” He gripped my hips as I moved over him, increasing my pace. He buried his face in the spot at the base of my neck and murmured, “Take what you want, Lex. Whatever you need.” Reaching above us, he turned off the interior light. In the cover of darkness, every movement, every dart of pleasure, every thrill, was so much more.
He told me to take what I wanted, but I loved the possessive way he held on to me, his fingers moving to grasp my ass, his teeth nipping at the sensitive skin at my throat. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held my breath as our bodies dissolved into wild movements. His hands were everywhere, and it still wasn’t enough. I was aching for him to have all of me all at once.
He jerked up into me hard almost like he sensed how close I was to falling. The sensation of him against me was so wanton and shameless that something primal unfurled from deep inside, bursting and echoing and tearing through me over and over again.
“Oh God.” My voice was a broken moan pieced together with heavy breaths as those words tumbled out of me with each blissful pulse. I was coming and panting and whimpering and splintering for him. Because of him.
“Fuck, Lex,” Liam growled. He ran his hands up and down my back as my body continued to thrum in pleasure. “That was so fucking sexy.” He nipped my earlobe as he moved beneath me. Still hard.
I reached down between us, fumbling with his zipper. Liam paused, raising his eyebrows.
I gave him a timid smile. “Maybe I need a little refresher course on driving stick?” My voice was still shaky from my orgasm.
His lips found mine again in the dark, and I could feel his smile as we kissed, his mouth open and hungry for mine. “I got you.”
I kissed my way down his profile until I was brushing my lips along his neck. He took the opportunity to reach up and slide his hands between my sweater and tank top, running his fingers lightly across my breasts. I undid the button on his jeans and then dragged the zipper down. He pulled the handle next to his seat, and I giggled as he shoved the seat back so far we almost tumbled into the back of the Jeep. Once we had more room, I lifted up onto my knees, and he helped me shift his jeans and boxers down his legs.
“You really doing this?” he asked, a smirk playing across his lips.
My eyes traveled down his body to where he was just barely revealed, and I was full of so much want it had to be seeping out of my pores.
“I can stop if you want.” I grabbed the edges of his boxers and slid them an inch up his thighs.
He growled, placing his hands on mine to stop me. “Fuck no, don’t stop.”
His hands went back to my chest, and mine went between us. My fingers wrapped around him, and he took a huge shuddering breath. When my hand started to move up and down the smooth, hard skin that was cradled in my fist, he groaned and pushed up into my hand. Liam covered my fingers with his, guiding them up and down his length. “Harder. You won’t hurt me, Lex. Feels so fucking good.”
“I’m a quick learner,” I whispered. I couldn’t decide wh
ether to watch his face or to keep watching my hand. I wanted to do both.
He let go, and I increased my pace, relishing the effect I had on him. His skin was slick from his excitement, and my hand was gliding over him, tight and hot. I smiled, biting my lip when his hips bucked up again, faster like he couldn’t control himself. Even in the dark I could see the moment when he started to unravel and just give in to the pleasure.
“Shit. Fuuucckkk.” Liam threw his head back against the seat, and his body tensed underneath me. “Just like that. Just. Like. That.”
I leaned over and gently sunk my teeth into the skin where his shoulder curved into his neck. I moaned against him, and his hips jerked up into my hand almost violently. He reached down between us to cover my hand with his, and then he came with a groan so guttural and raw my own body flushed with heat.
Our hands were sticky between us, and I felt a thrill at knowing perfect Alexis had transformed into an unapologetically messy Lex.
Liam grabbed my face with his other hand, his tongue meeting mine in hard strokes. “You’re a fucking expert at driving stick,” he muttered happily. “I should probably thank your teacher.” He kissed me with another sweep of his tongue. “Oh wait. That’s me.”
I reached up and brushed a wayward chunk of hair off his forehead. “Maybe someday I’ll let you teach me how to put it in first too.”
His head fell to my shoulder, and he groaned. “You’re killing me.”
Liam O’Connell was reckless and dangerous and risky.
And so was Lex.
***
“Why don’t you go with a nice floral pattern?” Mom held up a bed in a bag for me to see the design. “Everything matches and comes in the set. Sheets, sham, comforter. Perfect.”
The floral bedding was quite possibly the gaudiest thing I had ever seen. “I don’t want to match, Mom. I was thinking of getting something neutral so it will blend with whatever my roommate is getting. Maybe a white comforter and some colorful sheets?”
