by Laura Ward
“Let me do you a favor,” Melissa drawled. “You can quit while you’re ahead because you and I both know that perfect, proper little Alexis is never going to let you inside her panties. Why waste your time? I’ll let you fuck me any way you want until I scream your name.”
What? No. Fucking. Way.
I was by their side the instant the words left her mouth. I couldn’t see Liam’s expression because I didn’t dare look at him. All I could see, all I cared about, was the smug satisfaction on Melissa’s face when she realized I’d heard everything. She opened her mouth to speak, but my hand was quicker.
Her head snapped to the side, and her hand flew up to her cheek where I’d slapped her. I’d hit her harder than I’d ever hit anyone or anything in my life. There was a strange pause of quiet expectation before the screeching started—my name mingled beautifully with the most filthy words I’d ever heard in my life. She was hurt and screaming and furious with me.
I knew I shouldn’t enjoy it, but I did. So much.
Silence fell in the next room, and the sounds of chair legs scraping across the floor told me the hallway would soon be filled with my parents and the rest of the banquet hall.
“Looks like the only name you’ll be screaming tonight is mine,” I hissed at Melissa. I pointed my finger in her face, and she flinched. “I warned you not to talk to him like that. Remember?”
Melissa stared back at me with wide, shocked eyes. I grabbed Liam’s arm and pulled him down the hall with pure calm. Liam’s sweet, innocent angel was long gone. I didn’t feel an ounce of regret for what I’d done.
Once outside, we ran toward Liam’s Jeep, neither of us saying a word. We buckled up, and it wasn’t until we were on the main road that Liam finally spoke.
“You hit Melissa. I can’t believe you slapped her across the face.” He shook his head, snuck a glance at me, and then returned his eyes to the road in front of us.
I rubbed at the palm of my hand, the stinging a reminder of what I’d done. Liam reached over to take my hand in his.
“Does it hurt?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Not as much as her words did.”
Liam breathed in sharply through his nose and then released it before answering. “You stuck up for me. I just… I can’t believe you stuck up for me.”
I frowned. “You’d do the same for me.” How could he not understand that?
Liam reached up and ran his fingers along the side of my jaw. “’Course I would. But no one’s ever defended me before. I don’t deserve it.” His voice cracked on the last few words, and I captured his hand in mine, bringing it to my lips so I could press a kiss in his palm.
“You’re worthy of so much more, Liam. I’m going to prove it to you.”
***
I held on to the handle above the window as the Jeep bounced through puddles and over the dirt road of the levees. At night these roads were the unofficial hangout where most of the high school and college parties took place. I’d never been of course, but Sam had told me all about it.
Ever since I’d heard Liam’s friends talking about the levees at the carnival, I’d been curious. I asked him to take me during the day because I wasn’t ready for the levees at night. In the dark the levees were known to be a place for bad choices and poor decisions. Daylight chased all that away. Instead of beer-filled solo cups, drunken outbursts, and groping hands, an afternoon at the levees was quiet. Fishermen dotted the edges of the water, and some people hiked or walked dogs, but nothing hinted at what happened once the sun set.
We drove beside the canal as we followed the unpaved road, and it was hard to imagine that this was where Sam spent most of her weekends in high school. I thought that maybe by coming here, I’d feel closer to her.
Liam pulled the Jeep off the side of the path and put it in park. We got out, and when I met him on the other side, he spun me around and pulled me to him until my back was flush against his chest and his chin was resting on my head. His arms were wrapped around me, and I felt so content I didn’t want to move. We stared out at the water where boaters were enjoying the last few days of summer.
“You come to the levees a lot, right?”
Liam shrugged behind me. “Sometimes. But I don’t always come to party. Sometimes I just come here to be alone.”
I reached up and threaded my fingers between his, holding his hand against me. “Did you know Sam?”
His arms tightened around me, and his chest expanded with a long, deep breath. “I knew of her. I’d seen her around, but I never actually met her. I didn’t know she had a sister.”
A sailboat skimmed across the water in front of us, the fabric of the sails shifting to make best use of the wind to pick up speed. Sam had been like that. No matter what happened around her, she took the situation and bent it to her will, using it to sail through life with effortless grace. I was the exact opposite. I always felt like the canoe that had lost both its paddles and was stranded out in the middle of the river.
“You would have liked Sam,” I finally said.
Liam didn’t respond. He didn’t have to. The fingers of his free hand skimmed up and down my arm, lulling me into the quiet peace of our surroundings.
He leaned over and put his lips against my ear. “Look.” He pointed to the Jet Ski in front of us, and I smiled when I saw what he was showing me. A shimmering rainbow danced in the rooster tail of the tiny boat that was speeding across the water.
“She would have liked you too,” I told him.
Isn’t that right, Sam?
Chapter Ten
There was a time when I couldn’t wait for the summer to be over so I could leave this town behind and start over in a place where no one knew my past or my pain. College had always meant a new beginning for me, the start of all the things I’d worked so hard for over the years.
But now that Liam was in my life, sometimes it felt like the summer was falling quickly through my fingers—small precious moments that I was having a hard time holding on to. What had stretched out endlessly only a few months ago was now down to less than a week. I could count the days of summer that were left on one hand. That thought made me antsy.
Liam worked a lot, so I didn’t get to see him as much as I wanted to. Luckily I’d gotten over my fear of driving. When he got off work, I’d usually meet him somewhere so that I wouldn’t have to deal with my mother’s disapproval at seeing us together. Weeks had gone by, and she hadn’t mentioned Liam again. She hadn’t even bothered to scold me for what happened at Sam’s fund-raiser.
I guess I should have been upset that she was avoiding me, but I was used to not living up to her expectations, and that realization didn’t hurt as much anymore. Mom always avoided things she couldn’t control. Like Sam’s death. And now that I was no longer the obedient daughter she expected, she ignored me too.
I hadn’t seen her at all today. She’d left me a sticky note on the fridge saying that she and my father had plans for the day and that I was on my own for dinner. Although I didn’t really mind being alone, I asked Liam to come over and keep me company.
We had such a small amount of time left to spend together, and I didn’t want to waste a minute of it. Currently he was in my room, on my bed, looking like every daydream I’d ever had.
I’d never brought a guy into my bedroom before. I’d never brought a guy home, save for the night when Liam picked me up for my date. Any dates I had in high school were done in a group. Talia, MaryAnn, and I would meet a group of guys at the mall to hang out and eat, or we’d all go to the movies. I’d kissed two guys, made out with one of them, but nothing like I’d done with Liam. Everything about Liam was new to me, and yet it didn’t scare me. Every time we were together, I felt more and more alive. I felt like a new me.
“So.” Liam was spread out on top of my comforter, ankles crossed and one arm folded behind his head. “You leave in three days, right?”
I swallowed, my stomach twisting at the reminder. “Yes.” I sat next to him
and traced the thick veins on his arm with the tip of my finger. “What about you? When do classes start? You never told me which ones you were taking.”
He rubbed his hand across the top of his head and looked away. “Yeah. About that.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t sign up for any.”
My finger stilled on his skin. “But I thought you said you were going to community college?”
He shrugged. “I was going to, but I didn’t send in the paperwork. I haven’t decided what I want to do with the rest of my life. It’d be a waste of money to take classes when I don’t know what direction I’m heading.”
“Yeah, but… what are you going to do?” His confession made me feel off-balanced. I had everything all planned out, and I was leaving him here, floundering.
“I’ll keep working and saving up.” Liam forced a grin as he faced me. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure it out.” He reached up, entwining our fingers together. “Back to you. You ready?”
I shook my head. “No,” I whispered as my eyes stung with tears.
He sat up, pulling me onto his lap. “What do you need to do? I can help. I can have all your shit packed in ten minutes. No worries.” He placed a kiss on the top of my head, and my stomach churned harder.
“It’s not that.” I paused and looked away. My feelings for Liam were blindsiding me. I was falling hard for him, and I wasn’t even sure we were in a relationship. Telling him I wasn’t ready to go to college because I didn’t want to leave him might weird him out. All I knew was that I didn’t want this summer to end, and the idea of leaving for College Park without him brought the darkness I had managed to escape right back into my life.
Liam cupped my face with his hands and kissed me softly, his tongue barely touching mine before he pulled away. I groaned at the way he teased me, and he chuckled, moving to sit with his back against the headboard. I settled against his chest, resting my legs across one of his.
“What’re you thinking?” he asked.
I held Liam’s hand in my own as I studied his fingers. They were strong and sure and full of amazing possibilities. “I know I should be excited about going off to college.” I turned my head to meet his gaze. “I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was six years old. Ever since Sam fell riding her bike and broke her arm. She was scared and in so much pain, and I couldn’t do anything to help her. I decided right then and there I wanted to be the person who could take that kind of fear away. The one who eased the pain. I’ve been looking forward to this for so long.”
Liam’s gaze was intense, his eyes searching my face like I was the only thing that he ever wanted to look at. “Too good,” he said, turning my chin so I faced him. “Always thinking of others.”
He kissed my lower lip, pulling it into his mouth gently before releasing it with a pop. When he set me free and didn’t kiss me again, I pushed my lip out in a pout. Liam laughed and reverently ran his thumb along my mouth until I was afraid I might forget how to use words. He always had that effect on me.
“You were saying?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
I had to remind myself to blink. To breathe. To speak.
“You’ve always wanted to be a doctor?” he reminded me.
I nodded, my brain kick-starting back into coherent thoughts. “Always. Everything I’ve done has been a step toward that goal. I passed on sports so that I could do extracurriculars that would appeal to universities. I never had less than straight As, and I chose electives that would help me look good for college admissions. All I’ve ever wanted is the chance to be a doctor.”
With a pang of regret, I realized all those things made my life sound kind of sad and boring. Maybe I was.
But I didn’t feel like that anymore.
I turned to face Liam, straddling him so I could be closer to him, more intimate. “I feel different now,” I told him.
He raised his eyebrows. “Different how?”
I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye when I answered. I licked my lips as my eyes dropped to his mouth. I shrugged. “I still want that. But now I want you too. I want you all the time. I’m not ready to leave you yet.”
He stared at me, waiting for me to explain, but I couldn’t. Instead, I fused my mouth against his until his tongue swept along mine. I pressed our bodies so close together I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. My hands went to the side of his face and then up until I buried my fingers in his hair, tugging him to me and declaring ownership. I wanted him to be mine.
When I let go of Liam’s hair and moved my hands to the button on his jeans, he pulled them away, shaking his head. He rolled me on to my back and hovered over me, propped up on his elbows. He dragged his nose along mine, inhaling along my skin before kissing me. When he pulled back, his eyes searched mine.
“I know what Melissa said upset you, but don’t let it. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you get back.”
“I’m still not ready to leave you.”
Liam’s expression turned serious, and his tongue slid along the corner of his mouth before he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth. He took a deep breath. “Your education is a big deal. You’ve worked too hard to get where you are, and you can’t risk your future worrying about me. You need to go and have fun. Meet people. Live. Sam would want that for you.” He kissed the top of my nose. “I want that.”
I sat up, slipping out from underneath him. My heart was racing, and I could feel the burn on my cheeks. “You want that? You want me to meet other people? Is that your way of saying we should date around?”
“Date around?” Liam’s eyes narrowed, and he leaned closer to me. His hands were fisted, pushing into the mattress. “You think I want to see you with another guy?” He shook his head, and I watched his jaw twitch as he ground his teeth together. He swallowed hard. “Just the thought of any other guy touching you makes me crazy.”
“I don’t understand,” I muttered. “I feel like you’re pushing me away. I tell you I want to be with you, and you say you want me to meet people. That you want that too.”
He sighed in frustration. “I’m not saying I want to date other people. I’m saying I want you to take advantage of your opportunities. Meet people. Make friends that aren’t stuck-up bitches at country clubs.” His smile was sad. “I’m greedy but not stupid. No matter what I want from you, I don’t want to hold you back from the life you deserve. It’s not like you can give up your future to bum around here with me.”
I would. I so would.
“You make me happier than I’ve ever been,” I argued. “Liam—” I reached for him, but he grabbed my hand and kissed my palm.
“You’re the best person I know. You’re meant for big things, and I won’t hold you back.” Liam’s eyes darted back and forth between mine. “You hear me?”
I heard him. And my heart knew that I didn’t deserve him. If our situations were reversed, it would be hard for me to let him go to follow his dreams.
I’m not good, Sam. I’m so selfish. I told myself I’d take whatever I could of him before the summer was over, but now that the end is close, I want more.
I leaned back on the pillow and pulled Liam on top of me. “You’re too good to be true,” I said, running my hands through his hair.
He brought his face closer to mine, the smell of his cologne and the faint aroma of smoke surrounding me. “How can anyone be good when they come from a place of dark?”
“Liam—” His name was torn from my mouth as I pressed my lips to his, speaking in between our kisses. “I don’t care where you come from.” I raised my hips up and slipped my tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his before pulling away again. “I’m falling for you so hard.”
Liam’s gaze touched every part of my face, looking for the lie in my words. He must have seen the truth in my eyes because when he kissed me, it felt like he’d finally torn down the last of his defenses. Even as he surrendered himself to me with slow, meaningful kisses, I could feel the way he claimed me too, his lips br
anding me with every place they touched. Marking me as his.
“What time will your parents be home?” His words were hot in my ear.
I kissed his neck before answering. “Not for a long time. Please don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop. Don’t let me fall alone.”
He pulled back to look at me, and something inside him broke, became unleashed. He grabbed the back of his shirt and whipped it over his head. I sat up with him, and he fisted the bottom of my tank top, stripping it off me in one swift move. He paused, running his hands over my lace-covered breasts before unclasping my bra and tossing it aside.
He ducked his head, his lips and tongue setting off tiny explosions under my skin with every heated touch.
“Liam…,” I begged, breathless. I pressed myself against him. “I need you.”
He laid me back down and unbuttoned my shorts, sliding them off. All that remained were my tiny white panties. He paused, kneeling above me, and looked into my eyes. I could barely see any green in his. His pupils were so dilated his eyes appeared black. He was breathing hard, teetering on the edge of control.
“You sure? Cause I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful as you laid out like this, and I’ve never wanted anything as much in my entire life.” He slid a finger down the side of my breast and over my stomach, tracing the edge of my panties. “But I need to know how much you’re giving me.” His voice was raspy, and I shivered as his gaze caressed every inch of me that was on display. I was on fire. I wanted him to make me feel alive. To make me soar.
I blushed, wondering how I could tell him what I wanted without it being awkward. How do you say, “Don’t take my virginity, but feel free to take me in every other way”?
I took a deep breath. “I’m not ready for sex yet.” I hedged. “But… everything else. I want everything else. With you.”
His wicked smile turned tender. “I got you,” he murmured. Liam inhaled, his chest expanding, and he held his breath for a moment. Then he gently rolled my panties down and groaned as he tossed them to the side. “So beautiful, Lex. So fucking perfect.”
