“I don’t need a present Furball,” Granny said, cringing in alarm as the cat seemed to want to present the rat to Granny. At that same moment, the door opened, and Silas walked into the room, taking the rat from Furball’s mouth and holding it in his arms. He winked at Granny.
Seeing the creature safely in Silas’s arms, Granny jumped up and advanced on Silas. “You gave me a rat for my birthday! You rat! You could have given me a heart attack. That’s what you were trying to do, wasn’t it? Give me a heart attack so you could have my animals and my house! You want to live on the side of the street with the underground streets.”
Granny stomped to the door and grabbed her umbrella. I’m going for a ride to cool off and when I get back you’d better be gone with that creature, or I’ll have your son arrest you for terrorizing an old lady on her birthday!” Granny was referring to the fact that Silas’s son, Ephraim Cornelius Stricknine, nicknamed by Granny the Tall Guy, was co-chief of police for the town of Fuchsia, along with Granny’s son, Thor, the other part of the “co” in the “chief.”
Silas flashed a wicked grin at Granny, “If you change your mind and want to claim your gift, you can find little Squeaky at my house with Radish.”
“Lock up when you leave,” Granny advised, slamming the door on her way out.
CHAPTER THREE
Granny headed across the yard to her new garage. This garage replaced the old garage that had been totaled in an arson fire the previous fall. This new garage had more character then the old one. Granny had decided that if she was going to build a new garage, it was going to be unique. This garage had a turret at the top where she could gaze at the stars at night, or watch her neighbors when the fancy hit her. She thought of it more as a disguised guard tower for the neighborhood. Once in the turret, she could see across the Fuchsia Cemetery that bordered her back yard.
It gave Granny a thrill to view her red ‘57 Chevy convertible that was parked once again in her garage, instead of being stored at Franklin’s house. The car was an engagement gift from Franklin their first time around, replacing the two red ‘57 Chevy convertibles that had perished in the fire.
Sliding into the driver’s seat, Granny adjusted the mirrors, started the car, and turned on the radio. Pushing the opener on the garage door, she eased the car out onto the driveway. Checking to make sure no one was watching, she gently backed onto the street. She brought the car to a complete stop. Granny once again looked around. The neighborhood was deserted. It was time to celebrate her birthday her way. The top was down; it was an 80 degree June day. The sun glinted on her windshield, sending its rays to shine right in Granny’s eyes. Granny cranked up the radio as loud as it would go, pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes, and with one stomp on the gas, peeled out of her neighborhood and headed for the open road.
For some reason, her mind was filled with thoughts of Amelia. Why couldn’t she have stayed out of their lives? Granny hadn’t seen her twin since they were 18 years old––out of sight, out of mind. They’d all been instructed to never speak her name in their household ever, by their parents. Granny and her brothers had erased the name Amelia from their lives.
Deep in thought about her past, Granny didn’t notice that her red Corvette knew exactly where to take Hermiony Vidalia Criony Fiddlestadt on her birthday. Before she knew it, the car turned into an abandoned farmhouse. Granny supposed she must have unconsciously headed to this spot. She hadn’t been out to the old farm since her husband, Ferdinand, had died. It was the old home place where she and her brothers, Briony and Abraham, had grown up––along with her twin sister Amelia. After her parents had died, she and Ferdinand had moved their family here.
Granny took one look at the dilapidated old house and said to the air, “Lots of rats in there, I bet.”
Opening the car door, Granny put her feet on the ground and lifted herself out of the car. Yup, the old trees from the apple orchards were still there in the distance, abandoned. It looked as if some of them could still be fruitful. Herman Picnic––if he hadn’t croaked–– would have had a field day stealing those apples with no one around to protect them. Granny chuckled, remembering the day when she was a young girl and got the best of Herman Picnic. She bet Herman still had no idea when he died, how the wagon had sunk so fast so many years ago, leaving him on the ground with a broken leg.
Making her way to the steps of the old house, Granny looked up to the second-story window. She could almost see her brother, Briony, hanging by one hand out the window the night he’d tried to jump from the house to the tree to sneak out to meet his girlfriend. Granny had already made the jump to the tree, so she could sneak out to the barn to get her late night snack of chocolate and donuts that she’d hidden in the hay loft earlier in the week. Granny remembered offering Briony a branch to grab, but only if he brought her some more chocolates and donuts back from town. He wouldn’t, but she offered him the branch anyway. Just as he grabbed for the branch, she pulled it away and he tumbled straight to the ground with such a thunk that it brought their dad running. Well, she hid in the tree and had her chocolate and donuts that night, but her brother spent many hours in the barn cleaning something that looked a lot like chocolate but had an aroma that only a mother pig could love.
Now as she stared at it, the house didn’t look safe. Granny looked around and saw that the silo seemed to still be in good shape. Moving through the silo door into the empty silo, she could smell the aroma of hay. The people who rented the property must have stored hay in the silo in the not too distant past, because there was still a pile by the wall of the silo.
Closing her eyes and breathing in the scent of the farm, Granny sat down on a barrel in the middle of the silo. Thoughts of Amelia and her parents swirled in her head. She hadn’t thought about this place and its memories in many years. She could see through the window in the silo that it was getting late. She’d better hurry if she was to meet Mavis and Delight for their surprise. As she stood up, she tripped over a pitchfork lying on the ground. Picking it up, she studied it. Hmm, she thought, this might make a good weapon.
From shaking the pitchfork, it seemed sturdy. She wondered if the tines were still strong, so she walked over to the mound of hay and plunged the tines of the pitchfork into the mound. They struck something very solid. Granny pulled the pitchfork out and saw that the tines were tinged in red. Shocked, she backed away from the hay mound just as a hand that had been pulled out by the tines peeked through the hay.
“Okay, who’s there playing a joke on me?” asked Granny. “Silas, did you follow me here? Come out!”
Granny held the pitchfork in the air ready to pounce on whomever came out of the mound, but it was silent and the hand lay still.
Reaching down, Granny touched the wrist that was attached to the hand. There was no pulse.
“Great! I haven’t been back to the farm since Ferdinand died and now the hand of fate just happens to pop up out of a hay mound.”
Granny reached for her phone. “Thor!” she shouted into the phone, making it dial her son’s number.
“Hi, mom!” he answered, “are you celebrating?”
“You might say that. I think it’s time at my age to confess. There’s something I haven’t told you.”
“You’re getting old?” Thor joked.
“I still own the farm. And there’s a……there’s a…..could be a dead body here?”
CHAPTER FOUR
Pacing up and down the driveway of the old farm place, Granny’s feet moved slowly while she waited for the authorities to arrive. At one point, her footsteps hesitated at the silo door as she contemplated moving the hay off the arm and body of the person whose pulse no longer was beating.
Fear had never stopped Granny before from being inquisitive when facing a dead body, but now something held her back. Maybe it was the fact this was her home, even if she had left it years ago and had never looked back.
Hearing the sound of sirens, Granny moved to meet the cars coming down the long d
riveway. Thor hopped out of the first of the two fuchsia-colored police cars and ran to meet Granny. The Tall Guy exited the second car, taking his time to give a sweeping glance over the property.
“What are you doing here?” Thor asked his mother in an exasperated tone.
“What does it look like I’m doing here?” Granny countered. “Finding a dead body; shouldn’t that have been your job?”
“What did you mean? You still own this place? We thought you’d sold it when we were kids. And now you’re out here and someone’s dead?” Thor asked.
“I was just taking a little drive on my birthday,” replied Granny, “doing a little travel down memory lane. Thought I’d visit the old place. How was I to know John Doe was going to be here too?”
The Tall Guy, hearing the conversation, quickly interrupted, “They’ll be time for that later. Thor, maybe you shouldn’t be here since your mom is again involved in a murder.” the Tall Guy turned to go into the silo.
Granny, hearing the word murder, jumped straight in front of the Tall Guy before Thor could stop her, tapping the Tall Guy hard in the chest with her finger. “I’m not involved in a murder!” Granny shouted, upset at hearing the word murder and involved in the same sentence. “I’m involved with a dead person. There’s a difference. You said the word murder without facts. It could just be a normal dead person.”
Thor lifted Granny out of the way and followed the Tall Guy into the silo. At that moment, another car drove up, revealing Franklin Jester Gatsby. “What are you doing here?” Granny shouted to him as he exited his car. Not waiting for an answer, Granny disappeared through the silo door.
Inside, she saw that Thor was holding the pitchfork that Granny had dropped on the ground. “There’s blood on this pitchfork,” Thor noted while watching the Tall Guy gently move the hay off the body.
“Ah, um, I can explain that,” Granny said in a hesitant voice, but her statement was lost to Thor who knelt down next to the body that the Tall Guy had uncovered.
“He’s been stabbed in the arm by the pitchfork,” Thor remarked. The Tall Guy joined Thor, getting down on both knees, to examine the body.
“He hasn’t been here too long––maybe a few hours. Do you know him?” the Tall Guy questioned Thor as Franklin came in the door and moved next to Granny.
“Can’t say that I do,” said Thor. “Want to tell us what happened, Mom?” Hearing no answer, he turned to look at Granny. She seemed frozen to the spot with an incredulous look on her face.
“Hermiony,” Franklin said, putting his arm around Granny and giving her a hug and a little shake at the same time. “Are you okay? Hermiony?”
All three men waited for an answer.
Granny still stood frozen to the spot. Thor stood up, facing his mother. “This has been too much of a shock; maybe we should take her to see Dr. Dreamboat in the ER.”
Granny shook off Franklin’s arm and moved past Thor, closer to the body. “I can hear you. Arrest me! I killed him! I forked him with the pitchfork, but I didn’t know he was here! Really, I didn’t! I’m ready for the orange jumpsuit.”
As if mesmerized, Granny knelt down next to the body and stroked the unknown man’s face.
Thor, the Tall Guy, and Franklin appeared to be intruders on a private moment, even though they had no idea what was so mesmerizing for Granny about the dead body.
Finally, Franklin gave a short cough to break the silence. “Hermiony, let’s go down to the police station and you can tell us what happened. Do you know who this is?”
Granny took one last look at the face of the man lying dead in the hay before turning to answer. “He was the love of my life! I forked the love of my life!” She dropped her head, her eyes fixated on the floor.
Silas Crickett, hearing Granny’s last words as he entered the silo, walked over and stared down at the dead man, making a quick judgment of the situation. Turning to Granny, he snapped his fingers in front of her face and with a feigned chuckle, he countered her words, “Snap out it, you crabby old woman! I thought I was the love of your life. You didn’t kill him! Look at him, he’s stiff. He’s been dead for hours!”
“Crickett, can’t you see she’s upset? You don’t belong here.” Franklin pushed Silas away from Granny and towards the door.
Hearing Silas’s words and seeing Franklin grabbing Silas, Granny stood up straight with a shrewd look in her eyes and quickly stepped between Silas and Franklin. Holding Franklin back and putting one hand on his chest, she turned to look Silas Crickett in the eye. “How do you know how long I’ve been here, Mr. Supercilious?”
Thor picked up the pitchfork and separated the three people before turning to his mother. “Mom, how did the blood get on this pitchfork?”
“I, uh, was testing it.”
“By forking a dead body? And . . . why are you out here?” Thor’s voice was agitated.
“Well,” said Granny to her son, “I didn’t know there was a dead body here, Thor. I was just testing this pitchfork for my new weapon.”
Franklin threw his hands in the air. “You don’t need a new weapon, Hermiony! We’re getting married. You’re retiring!”
Granny turned to Franklin with a furrowed brow, “What happened to ‘I commit to accepting your colorful personality, your willful ways and your sparkling independence, Franklin?’” Turning to Thor, she asked, “Can I go now? I have somewhere I have to be.”
Before Thor could answer, the rest of the police team pulled into the driveway.
“Granny, suppose we let everyone do their job and you meet us down at the police station,” the Tall Guy suggested.
Franklin took Granny’s arm. “I’ll drive you there; you’ll have to postpone wherever it is you have to be.”
Granny moved her arm out of Franklin’s clutches. “See that cute little red convertible! It’s mine. I’m fine. I’m leaving the scene of the crime, Franklin. Alone! You go on home. The Police Station is well known. I can find my way there and what you do, well….I don’t care. Granny has left the building!” With a brief nod, Granny quickly walked out the door.
Silas, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, turned to Franklin and sarcastically commented, “Didn’t she just sparkle now?”
CHAPTER FIVE
Granny glanced at the clock in the Fuchsia Town Hall as she drove past the square on her way to the police station. It was 3:00 p.m. She would have to call Delight. They might not be able to meet in the underground street later. The surprise might have to wait. The other times she’d been questioned about dead bodies she’d found it hadn’t taken too long. Of course, this might be the time they tried to break her down and make her confess to something she didn’t do. She had seen those movies where they kept you for hours and didn’t let you eat or sleep. Thor wouldn’t do that to her, would he?
Instead of taking a right at the corner by Graves’ Funeral Home to continue to the Police Station, Granny took a sharp left. Her car continued on past Racks Restaurant. She parked across the street in front of Esmeralda Periwinkle’s old house. The house had been home to a few owners since Esmeralda had left this world, and the latest occupant was her twin sister, Amelia.
Before getting out of the car, Granny picked up her cell phone and shouted the word coffee. Granny could hear the phone ringing.
“We’re perky, we’re pink, and our sweets will make you wink,” came the reply.
“Delight that was quite the poem,” said Granny into the phone.
“Are you ready for our surprise, Granny?” Delight could be heard whispering to someone on the other end.
“We’re going to have to postpone,” said Granny.
“Postpone! It’s your birthday. We can’t postpone!” replied Delight.
“Would you like to tell that to the police?” Granny asked Delight.
“Police, police! What did you do now?” Delight’s agitation vibrated through the connection.
”I didn’t do anything. Just forked some hay. Do you suppose we could talk the prison official
s into changing their prison garb to pink? I don’t think I’ll look good in orange,” moaned Granny.
Before Delight could say another word, Granny hung up the phone and quickly got out of the car, glancing around to make sure the police weren’t going to pounce on her, since she was here and not there––there being Police Headquarters.
Reaching back in the car, Granny grabbed her umbrella. You never knew when that hook would come in handy. Besides, she didn’t know Amelia that well anymore. Maybe Amelia’s meek demeanor was a cover.
Granny was ready to pound on the door with her umbrella when the door swung open. Amelia, not seeing Granny, walked straight into the umbrella. Granny’s umbrella was on a downward swing for a knock, but instead of the umbrella hitting the door; it hit smack dab on top of Amelia’s head.
As the umbrella came down on Amelia’s head, a pink Fuchsia squad car parked behind Granny’s car. The two men in the car, seeing what was happening, hurriedly exited the car.
“Stop! Mom, stop! What are you doing?” Thor shouted.
The Tall Guy was quicker and made it up the steps just as Amelia was falling. Amelia fell into Granny and Granny fell backwards straight into the arms of the Tall Guy.
Granny looked up at the Tall Guy as he caught her, “You know what happened the last time I fell for someone?” Granny asked innocently, referring to the fact that she’d met Franklin by falling into his arms.
Thor, finally getting to the fracas, helped Amelia back onto her feet. Turning to his mother, he gave her a look of exasperation. “First, we find you with a dead body and now we find you assaulting your sister. And—you failed to obey our instructions. You’re supposed to be at the police station!”
“Now I’ll have to arrest you!” The Tall Guy stood Granny up, out of his arms.
“No, no! It wasn’t like that!” a rattled Amelia tried to explain. “I was coming out of the house just as she was knocking at my door with her umbrella. Dead body? What dead body? Hermiony?”
Granny Forks A Fugitive (Fuchsia Minnesota Book 4) Page 2
