“Thanks.”
“This is something cool you did that we can talk about. It beats Alan Hewson running for Congress.”
Jane frowned. Alan Hewson was voted most likely to be fragged by his own men he was such a dickhead. “That ass?”
“Yeah I haven’t decided if I’m going to find something on him. Bastard made our lives hell.”
They’d survived him and a hell of lot worse. “You could let it go.”
Paige eyed her. “Hell no I’m a patriot. I’m saving America.”
“That’s my girl.”
The high fived each other. “I need to get all set up and get to work.”
“You find anything?”
“The phone call did come from New Orleans, I tracked the burner phone to a mom and pop store in the French Quarter. I’m running through surveillance photos to look for your girl, but I swear to God the camera tape comes from the stone age.”
“Work your magic.”
Paige jiggled her eyebrows. “I will. Declan Shaw is too pretty to die and my god kid needs a name, and a college fund.”
“How do you know I was going to ask you?”
“Who else would you ask besides maybe Mick.”
“Mick volunteered to adopt the baby if I decided not to keep it.”
Paige’s hazel eyes widen. “Mick and Doctor Sexy want a
kid?”
“Yeah.”
“Will wonders never cease?”
Before Paige could answer the bedroom door opened. And Declan popped his head in. “Jane, you busy?”
“Nope come on in and meet Paige.”
Declan whipped out his Golden God smile. “Hello. You’re the computer genius?”
Paige wiggled her fingers. “That would be me.
“Nice to meet you. Gavin is already salivating over your hardware.”
“You better go down to save it.” Jane said.
“We’ll talk later. Nice to meet you.” She walked toward the door, then turned around and gave Declan’s ass a glance. Then mouthed the words nice ass.
Jane laughed. She was really glad her friend was here.
* * *
DECLAN WASN’T sure but he felt a little objectified. “She was checking out my ass wasn’t she?”
Jane nodded. “She’s always been an ass girl.”
He sniffed the air. “Do you smell shrimp?”
Jane spied the wrapper in the trash can. “No.”
He raised an eyebrow. “But there was.”
“I was hungry.”
“Aren’t you going to dinner in an hour?”
“Are you judging me?”
He raised both hands. He didn’t mean any harm. “No.”
“It feels like you are.”
“You’re eating for two.”
“I can’t help it all I want to do is eat and fuck and fuck and eat. My hormones are killing me.”
“I am shocked.” Then he heard her stomach rumble.
Her face paled, she jumped up and she hurried to the bathroom and he heard her throwing up. He followed her and knelt beside her. He pulled her hair back with one hand and with the other began to rub the small of her back. “That’s it get it all out.”
Jane heaved a few more times then she laid her head on her arm.
“Better?”
She raised her head. “Why are you being nice to me?”
“You’re letting me.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
They were going to have to be a little better with the cussing. “You know we might consider taming the bad language around the baby.”
She flipped him the bird. “Really shut the fuck up.”
Declan laughed and leaned his head against hers. He kissed her head then stood. He took a bottle of mouthwash from the gilt edge medicine cabinet, and poured some into a glass. He handed the glass to Jane. She took it from him and took a healthy swig and gargled. While she was doing that he took a navy washcloth and put it under the tap and let cold water run over it. He squeezed out the excess water and folded the washcloth and knelt down to her again and put it on her forehead. “Feel better?”
“I always do after I throw up. Now I want to eat again.”
“What would you like me to get for you?”
“There is something I want.”
“What?”
“Take off your clothes and get on the bed. I’m going to brush my teeth then I’m gonna fuck you.”
“I am okay with that.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
JANE WATCHED Fox push his pasta around his plate. “You okay?”
His fork stopped moving. “I’m nervous about meeting your parents.”
Pete and Addy had the whole story, they didn’t blame Fox anymore. “Don’t be. They don’t bite.”
“Do they know everything?”
“Not about the baby, but Pete investigated my mother’s homicide and knows about a lot of things in my past.”
“I’m sorry.”
She tilted her head. This man needed to know he was forgiven and that he did the best he could. “You know you spent two hundred grand on private detectives trying to find her. You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
He gulped his water. “How do you know?”
“I checked out your story.” Well actually Paige did at Mick’s request, but she knew he loved her mother and would have been there if he could have. She knew a lie when she heard one.
“You have my cynicism.”
She did. “I earned it. It’s a good trait in my business.”
“You do more than body guarding?”
That surprised her that he asked. “Do you want to talk about me or do you want to know about my mom?”
He gave her a sad smile. “I will love Yasmeen until I die, but she is my past. A past I can’t do anything about. I knew her better than myself. I want to know you.”
Jane’s stomach tightened. She figured he'd get around to her, but her mother was what would be most important to him. She wasn’t all the way there yet, but she liked Fox more and more. “For what it’s worth, she never was with another man.”
“How do you know?”
“When I first got to Pete and Addy’s I refused to talk so Addy made me write things down. Mostly about my mom. So I made a lot of notes and I’d go back and revise and flesh things out. So I have a pretty good memory about what it was like. If you want to read them I could give them to you.” To this day at least once a month she wrote her mom a letter, mostly mundane things about what was happening in her life. It kept her alive for her.
“Thank you.”
“What would you like to know about me?”
He blushed. “Does it sound desperate to say everything?”
She didn’t know what she would even say. “I’m not that interesting.”
“You have Declan’s attention.”
She waved her hand brushing off that statement. “We’ve been forced together. I wouldn’t make more of it than it is.”
“You underestimate him.”
That could be true he continually surprised her. “In what way?”
“He’s a complicated man. Always has been.”
“I got that about him, but do you really want to talk about him?”
“As he relates to you.”
“You are good.” Jane smiled. “So how are you doing?”
“Malcolm warned me you are very evasive. And you turn conversations into interrogations.”
Busted. “Hard habit to break.”
“What can you tell me about your job? It seems like a safe subject.”
“I don’t have a particular title. I pick up the odd job here and there.” That was kind of the best she could do.
“What do you do beside body guarding?”
“Bail enforcement agent. Some courier work.”
“What do you courier?”
She leaned forward. “All kinds of interesting things.”
He did the same. “Such as?”
/>
“I escorted a Kentucky Derby winner to Dubai for stud service and had to sign documents saying I saw the horse do his thing.”
He grinned. “Seriously?”
“Yep. Couple of months ago I delivered a Vermeer to New York and I actually touched it. That was pretty exciting. Most of the time my job’s pretty dull.”
“Until someone shoots at you.”
She shrugged. “Well there is that.”
“How do you get into that line of work?”
“My training in the military gave me an in-demand skill set.”
“But you’re a woman, how did you see combat?”
“This war has changed the role of women in the military.
Trust me no one shouted ‘stop shooting there’s a chick in the fray.’”
“You have your mother’s pragmatism.”
That surprised her. Her mother was very gentle and sweet.
“I never thought I was anything like her.”
“You look like her. You are so beautiful. You should be on the cover of magazines.”
Jane grimaced. “Not my temperament. I liked being in the Army. I like getting bad guys now.”
“Your father is a cop.”
“Before that he was an Army sniper.”
“He did a hell of job with you.”
“How do you know?”
“Being in the program for as long as I have been, you learn to spot the good ones. You might not gravitate toward them, but you can spot them. You’re one of the good ones.
That made her feel proud. “Thank you.”
He started playing with his food again not looking at her. “You and Malcolm turned out well. I think it’s because I had nothing to do with either of you. I will regret that forever.”
“Stop. What happened to me wasn’t your fault. You have nothing to be forgiven for. My grandfather’s to blame.
He could have let pride go. He had plenty of daughters to marry off. He used his position to seek revenge. We got caught in the middle.”
His lips trembled. “Your mother should have never died like that. About an hour after I met her, I was calling a lawyer because I knew she was my future.”
Jane thought for a moment. Now that she knew the truth she had to make sure this man stopped torturing himself. Her mother was dead, nothing could change that. He had to go on living. His children needed him. She might even need him, but she couldn’t have him broken. He needed to leave the past in the past. “My mother made a choice. A choice to be with you. A choice to run. I get that she didn’t have a lot of choices, but she made the best one she thought she had. She was never taught to fight. Women in her culture aren’t. I know in my heart she did the best she could. You don’t have to worry about making anything up to me. I’m good.” She took a breath. “Now Malcolm on the other hand …”
“He hates me.”
“I think you’re wrong. He’s mad, confused, and hurt but he doesn’t hate you. He needs to deal with his anger, because life is handing a bucket of crap lately. I’m sorry I had a hand in it. I think he’s going to pop soon.”
“What do I do?” He took another drink of water.
Jane sighed. It’s not like she had the answer, just a thought. “That’s tricky. He has to want you to be there. I want to get to know him. I like him, but he has no reason to like me. Plus the whole Declan and baby thing is not making this any easier.”
“You care?”
“I’ve known for a long time. I’m used to the idea. I’ve plotted my revenge. I’ve fantasized about meeting you. Maybe even romanticized it. But he knows you.”
Fox pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s seen me at my worst.”
She could only imagine what that could be. “Maybe it’s time for him to see you at your best.”
“What do you mean?”
“As much as I want to get to know you, I think you should concentrate on him. Support him, maybe involve him in your life.” Honestly if he didn’t get this thing with Malcolm settled she didn’t think he would be able to deal with the baby. Malcolm needed him and he needed Malcolm. And maybe if she could in some way help fix this, she wouldn’t feel like a bitch for upsetting their lives.
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“You two have something in common I can never share.”
“Music.”
She nodded. “I can’t carry a tune in a handbag.”
“I’ve been thinking about a new album. I’ve been playing around with some stuff in my head.”
“Doesn’t he produce also?”
Pride shone in his face. “He’s incredible.”
“Maybe you could write some songs together.”
“You think it would work?”
She saw a glint of hope in his eyes. “Try.”
“Thank you. I have one question.”
“What?”
“May I be involved in the baby’s life?”
She smiled. “I would like that.”
* * *
JANE SLIPPED into Declan’s bedroom. She put her purse down on the chair and pulled off her t-shirt. His eyes were closed and he had his headphones on. He was so beautiful lying in his bed. His sculpted chest was bare and the top button of his jeans was unbuttoned and the thin golden trail of hair disappeared into his pants. She wanted him right then and there. She quickly stripped out of her clothes and got on the bed. Declan’s eyes opened and he smiled.
Jane leaned over and kissed his stomach. She heard him groan. She palmed his already hard cock. This was what she needed, a good hard fuck so she didn’t have to think about dinner with her father and all the emotional bullshit that was her life. She just wanted to get him inside her and forget about everything except how good he could make her feel.
“How did it go?”
Jane stopped kissing his belly and looked up at him. “You want to talk about that now?”
Declan grabbed a fistful of her hair and gently lifted her head up. “Yeah.”
“I don’t need to talk. Let’s fuck.”
“No. We should talk about it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I do.”
“We had dinner. We talked about shit. End of story.”She sat on him, her pussy on top of his hard cock. All she could think about was getting him inside of her and easing the ache. Because when Declan fucked her, she was too busy feeling good to think about anything. She rubbed herself against the rough material of his jeans getting herself wetter and hotter. She could see the need burning in his eyes. He wanted it too. She was going to have to work harder to get his mind and mouth in tune with his cock.
Declan palmed her ass cheeks and began to massage her skin, grinding her down on his cock.
Yes, she thought. This is what she needed. She loved how his powerful fingers dug into her skin. “Fuck me, Declan.”
Quickly he flipped her over on to her back and Jane slid her legs around his waist. He grabbed her wrists and lifted them over her head. “That’s what I want.”
He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. “No.”
“What?”
“I’m not going to fuck you.”
“Are you joking?”
“The last thing you need to do is have sex.”
She wrapped her legs tighter around his waist. “What do you think I need Doctor Declan?”
Declan groaned. “You need to talk about tonight.”
That was the last thing she wanted. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why not?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because I do.”
“I don’t need you--”
“What, care?” He interrupted her. “Be there for you? Be a friend?”
“We aren’t--”
“Friends? Lovers? Anything to each other?”
Jane huffed. “Declan.”
“If you want to talk? Or you want to cry? Or let me hold you I’m here for you, but as much as I want to crawl between those leg
s and fuck your hot pussy we ain’t doin’ it.”
Jane pulled on her arms to free herself. “This conversation sounds vaguely familiar.”
He leaned his forehead on hers. “Welcome to my world.”
“Do you think I’m some emotional wreck because I had dinner with my daddy?” She could deal with this shit, she’d handled worse.
“I think if I answered the question honestly, you’d beat me up.”
“You just did.”
“Jesus, I sound like you.”
“That wasn’t a compliment right?”
“I’m on the fence.”
Jane just surrendered. “He’s so broken.”
“I know.” Declan said softly.
“How am I going to fix this?”
Declan rolled them over on their sides. “Do you want to?”
She had to. “Not just for me, but for him, for Malcolm.”
“You care.”
“How can I not? He’s my father. Malcolm is my brother.I didn’t want to care. I wanted to hate them and go on with my life. It was easier to think he dumped me and my mother. He spent a ton of money trying to find her.”
“How do you know?”
“Paige ran his financials for the last thirty years.
He paid seven P.I’s to find her.”
“You didn’t believe him?”
“Mick didn’t. I knew he wasn’t lying.”
“They got your back.”
“Yeah they do.”
“You and Fox want to fix it. It’ll get fixed. Malcolm is another story.”
“You’re his best friend. What do we do?”
Declan palmed her cheek. “This shit storm has been brewing for a lot of years. Fox put him through the ringer. It’s going to take time.”
“I know.”
He kissed her sweetly on the mouth. “Tell me a secret Jane.”
Jane looked at him. In that second she knew. She was in love with him. She loved the sound of his voice. The way he smelled. The feel of his skin on hers. She loved the way his mind worked, the way he wasn’t ashamed of his arrogance. The way he loved Malcolm. His drive, his relentlessness. And the way he wanted to comfort her right now when he could have just had sex with her. What didn’t she love about him? Absolutely nothing.
I Hate Myself For Loving You Page 25
