Blue Fire

by Sarah Holland

  ‘Why yes, Jared, darling! Did I forget to tell…?’

  Christie turned and ran up the rest of the stairs before she could hear any more. Her whole body was leaping with fire, her heart pumping blood through her veins, making her at once exhilarated and afraid. Rosita was waiting on the landing for her and Christie almost col- lided with her, startled as she jumped back, apologising breathlessly, her voice shaking. Rosita gave her an in- trigued little smile before leading her to her bedroom.

  Once inside, Christie dismissed the maid and groped her way to the bed, sinking down on it, trembling from head to foot. Oh, God, how could this be happening? It was a nightmare. She couldn’t begin to deal with it. Forty-eight hours, locked up in this house with Jared Buchanan—after not having seen him for three years, all those arguments left simmering inside both of them, the bitter recriminations, the anger and pain of re- jection… how on earth was she going to cope with spending this much time with him? And his girlfriend, she thought savagely—Nessa Vale—one of the most re- spected actresses in Hollywood.

  Jealousy seared her veins. She had known he would have other women after they split up. Jared had always had women throwing themselves at him, even when he was practically living with Christie in that lovely little flat just outside Elstree back home in England. Her heart ached as she remembered it all, and the feelings came flooding back to engulf her…

  Suddenly, she noticed Ava Gardner smouldering down at her from an exquisite oil painting on the wall of her bedroom. Tough woman, Ava. Not for her sitting in tears on a bed thinking of the man she had loved when she should be trying to put herself into the Hollywood Hall of Fame.

  Anger rushed through her. She was there to con- solidate and further her career as a movie-star—not go into self-destruct over a gorgeous, dangerous, sexy man who had hurt her badly in the past and could easily do so again!

  Think! she told herself, pressing her hands to her head. Think!

  Why was Jared here in the first place? It must be something to do with work—the Camarras’ weekend parties were prestigious mainly because they always furthered already glittering careers. If Christie herself was there to have close discussions about this role in Tigresse, Jared must also have an important career move to make while he was under this famous roof.

  But what?

  Well, he was a director, so it must have something to do with—

  Suddenly, she remembered her conviction that Mike and Millie knew about her previous, passionate in- volvement with Jared. Her mind started to work with slow, dawning horror.

  Was it possible that Mike and Millie Camarra were thinking of making Tigresse a Jared Buchanan picture? Tigresse, the film in which they had already approached her to take the lead role? Was that what this was all about? To throw them together and see if they could work as director and actress on Tigresse?

  That part was perfect for her. It would put the seal of absolute bankability at the box-office on her stardom. It was everything she had been looking for in a film role, and the one man in all the world who would never, ever give her that role was Jared Buchanan…

  ‘Oh, my God!’ she muttered hoarsely, and got to her feet.

  Suddenly, she was pacing the oak-panelled floor.

  Playing the part of the Tigresse was the role she had dreamed of all her life. It was her Hamlet, and would prove to the world that she was an actress to be taken seriously. As soon as she read the script, she knew it was what she had been working towards all her life: the chance to act, really act, and play a woman who looked exactly like her on the outside, but was her complete opposite on the inside. Not just that, but the whole steamy ambience of the film was perfect for her. The lush settings, the sensuality, the clever quick-fire lines, the moments alone when Lelie planned and plotted, the close-ups showing her true inner thoughts, then the turn of her head to smile and lie and cheat the man she would be cast opposite…

  Christie had always wanted to be a famous movie-star, but she knew that famous blonde movie-stars were two a penny. Good actresses were hard to come by, es- pecially in the medium of film, where every flicker of expression counted for so very much in those tell-tale close-ups. The role of Tigresse would undoubtedly set her among the top, most respected leading ladies and she had to have it, she just had to have it…

  Her blue eyes darted around the beautiful Spanish- style room, with its rich wood-panelled floor, the fan whirring overhead, the vast white bed littered with ex- pensive pillows, and the antique dressing-table, three- mirrored, standing elegantly beside the vast French- windowed balcony.

  It was suddenly a prison to her.

  She needed to get out, to think, to think, to think…

  Striding purposefully to the open doors on to the balcony, she stepped out, her sensual body moving with the wild, animal sex appeal for which she was famous, blonde hair a tousled mane around her bare shoulders, the white satin dress she wore looking more like a slinky slip on her lushly slender curves as her mind shouted, I have to have that role, I have to!

  A movement beside her made her jump.

  Jared had stepped out on to his balcony right beside hers.

  There was an electrifying silence as they studied each other.

  Ambition flew from her grasp as though she had stumbled and dropped it. All she could see or feel or think of was Jared Buchanan, and how gorgeous he looked, like a dark god standing there before her with anger in his jet-black eyes, reminding her so much of their last, terrible row.

  Her voice was husky as she said, ‘Hello, Jared.’

  ‘Hello, Christie.’ He was studying her as an angry lover should, and she was reacting as though they’d never been apart, her body tingling under the hard caress of his eyes. It seemed only yesterday that they had made love. She could almost taste his skin. ‘Very long time no see. But it seems fate has thrown us together again.’

  ‘Fate?’ It was difficult to sound casual when your voice was shaking. ‘You mean you had nothing to do with it?’

  ‘You don’t seriously think I’d want to meet up with you again under such intimate circumstances, do you?’

  ‘Perish the thought!’ Pain burned her heart like fire and it hurt even more to pretend she didn’t care. ‘But I think it’s fairly clear that somebody not only wanted us to meet up, but knew we had once been involved. Millie Camarra seemed to know about us. I didn’t tell her, so—’

  ‘You’re right, she does know, and I know who told her.’ Jared raked a strong hand through his black hair. ‘It was me—indirectly. I told Mike Camarra I had known you in the past, and that you might not be able to work with me because of it. I had to tell him. I suggested you for the lead role in Tigresse, and—’

  ‘Oh, God…!’ She caught her breath audibly, whitening. ‘Then I was right about the reason you’re here! You are going to direct!’

  ‘Naturally. I found the script. The whole picture is my baby.’

  She struggled to look professional, but her hands were clinging to the hot metal balcony rail, fingers damp and white-knuckled, and her mind was starting to shout again, I must have that role, I must have it, I must! But her beautiful pink pouting mouth said, ‘It’s an excellent script. Lots of fast scenes. Great locations.’

  ‘And an exceptional lead role for any ambitious young actress with her eye on Hollywood immortality!’

  ‘What’s wrong with ambition, Jared?’ Her blue eyes flashed angrily to his. ‘What’s wrong with wanting Hollywood immortality?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he drawled tightly. ‘Except that you’re going to have to get it through me.’

  The threat was blatant. Christie lifted her head, trying to appear up to the challenge, but she knew deep inside that this one was going to hurt, this one was going to make or break her. She had fought for stardom, fought for great roles in the past—but this role was different. This was her key to Hollywood’s Hall of Fame, and the man she had to fight for it was a man she loved… but who hated her.

  There was a tense silen
ce as they took each other’s measure.

  Suddenly, Jared’s eyes flashed down to her left hand. ‘I see the newspapers didn’t exaggerate about the size of that diamond! I just wonder what took you so long to make it public.’

  ‘I don’t understand what you—’

  ‘Come off it!’ he laughed harshly. ‘You and Simon Mordant were lovers three years ago! Good God, you left me for him!’

  ‘But I didn’t leave you for Simon!’ Her eyes flashed with furious emotion. ‘Don’t try to ease your own guilty conscience by blaming it all on him! I left you because you deliberately stood in the way of my—’

  ‘Ambition?’

  There was a brief silence. The warm breeze lifted strands of Jared’s dark hair as he watched her with nar- rowed, judgemental eyes.

  ‘Still your favourite word, Chris?’

  She looked away at the sea and said, ‘Ambition isn’t a word—it’s a character defect. They put it in you at birth and you have to spend the rest of your life trying to get it out. What was it you used to say, Jared? Something about deprivation being the mother of ambi—’

  ‘We don’t have time for a trip down memory lane! Let’s just get straight to the point—how the hell we’re going to work together on Tigresse.’

  Stung by his curt dismissal, she lifted her hand and said tightly, ‘I’d work with Godzilla himself for that particular role!’

  ‘Oh, yes, you’ll do anything for fame and fortune, won’t you, Chris?’

  ‘I’ll even smile at you.’

  He laughed harshly. ‘And that role will make you the biggest star in Hollywood. It’s perfect for you.’ Malice glittered in his eyes. ‘One might almost be forgiven for believing it was your life story!’

  Her lashes flickered, her face going white as she stared at him with appalled blue eyes. ‘My life story…?’ Her voice was rough. ‘What do you mean—my life story!’

  ‘Well, let’s examine the character of Lelie for a moment,’ he said tightly. ‘Here we have an amoral beauty who uses her sex appeal to further her career, destroying every man she meets, her ultimate goal nothing more or less than money, power and fame. That’s you, isn’t it, my darling? You’re not just suited to the role—you are the Tigresse!’

  CHAPTER TWO

  FOR a second she couldn’t move or speak, breathless with pain at the reality of his true opinion of her. He seriously believed what he had just said. He really thought she was the living image of Lelie. All these years, she had gone on with her career, working harder and harder, hoping he would see every milestone of achievement—and hoping deep inside that he would begin to respect her. It had always been one of her worst fears, the whole time she was with him: that he only saw her as a stupid, struggling little nobody actress, and could not possibly respect her as an equal. Love should ex- plode all barriers—class, background and status—but, all too often, they exploded love instead.

  Christie had believed Jared would, if nothing else, come to respect her professionally.

  But this…this went beyond all her fears into the realm of nightmare. She couldn’t bear to think that for three years Jared had looked at her name in lights and thought, There goes Christie McCall, the amoral little whore I once had an affair with.

  ‘I’m nothing like that woman,’ Christie said in a shaken voice, breathless with pain. ‘Nothing, Jared. If you think back to when we first met, I’m sure you’ll see that—’

  ‘I see only that you used me as a casting couch,’ he cut in harshly. ‘Or at least—you tried to.’

  She swayed as though he had struck her, ambition sliding from her grasp again as pain stabbed her heart. ‘How can you say that?’

  ‘A pity it didn’t work,’ he continued unpleasantly. ‘My proposal of marriage put paid to your ambitious little plans. But you win some, you lose some. And Simon Mordant certainly proved more than happy to play on the casting couch with you. Successfully, too, as—’

  ‘He’s my agent!’ she said hoarsely. ‘He’s supposed to help me with my work as an actress!’

  ‘And marrying him is a very strategic career move.’

  ‘I love Simon!’

  ‘How very convenient for the press office.’ His smile was cutting. ‘A lot more convenient than the nasty little stories going the rounds two years ago.’

  She caught her breath.

  ‘Or were they just to find the right image for you? The public never can make up their mind whether they prefer a madonna to a—’

  ‘Those stories were lies!’ she said unsteadily, appalled to think he had believed them. A series of juicy tabloid scandals accusing Christie of having betrayed Simon by taking another lover, a famous producer, in order to work her way up the ladder a little faster. She had always found it hard to believe that newspapers really did just tell lies sometimes. No smoke without fire, she had always thought. But after the explosion of fake gossip two years ago, she had simply stopped believing any- thing she read, unless it was verified on television with live footage and twenty reliable witnesses—and even then she had her doubts. ‘Not one word of those stories was true!’

  ‘If they were lies—why didn’t you sue?’

  ‘I was advised not to.’ She stared at him. ‘Come on, Jared! You know as well as I do that a lawsuit just drags the bad publicity on for months. A dignified silence is the only way to rise above it.’

  ‘You can play the injured innocent till you’re blue in the face,’ he said thickly, looking away from her, his mouth hard, ‘but it won’t change the fact that your en- gagement to Simon is just another career move.’

  ‘I love Simon.’

  ‘You’re no more in love with him than you were with me!’

  She paled, lowered her gaze, unable to reply honestly to that, because she had been desperately in love with Jared, completely in love, consumed by love, and had never forgotten him, never would, not even when he was standing there, three years later, saying the most awful, unforgivable things to her. How could he say them…how could he even think them?

  Eventually, she said, ‘Simon’s worth ten of you!’

  ‘Shouldn’t that be ten more pictures?’

  Her head came up furiously. ‘He’s my friend! He loves me! He understands why I need to be famous, and he always has—which is more than I can say for you! If I’m marrying him now, it’s because he taught me exactly what love is. It’s kindness, understanding and sharing similar needs. Simon and I have all of that, but you and I never did, did we, Jared? All we shared was a bed. I was nothing more to you than a woman you could have sex with when you had time off from your own precious career.’ She raked him with hurt, angry eyes. ‘And you have the nerve to call me amoral!’

  ‘Interesting. That’s exactly what I think of you. Funny how two people can see the same story from different sides of the fence, isn’t it? Or should I say, different sides of the bed!’

  ‘Oh!’ She was swimming with rage. ‘Oh, I don’t be- lieve you said that! How can you justify it? Accusing me of wanting nothing from you but sex!’

  ‘When I came home at night, you were always ready, willing and able.’

  ‘To please you, you swine!’ she muttered hoarsely, trying to keep the unbelievable sting of tears from really taking hold. ‘To keep you happy, make you love me more, make you want to stay with me and not look around for someone else! I was so aware of my own shortcomings that seduction seemed the only way to make you stay, Jared, and love me even though I—’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about the past,’ he said thickly, turning away to stare out to sea with bleak eyes.

  She studied his hard profile, saw the muscle jerking in his cheek. ‘It wasn’t just that I wanted to make up for my own shortcomings,’ she heard herself say, trying to keep her voice strong. ‘It was also because of the strain you were living under. All that work at the editing suite. You needed lovemaking to help you unwind. That’s why I was always so eager, initiating lovemaking—’

  ‘I said I didn’t want to tal
k about the past!’

  Christie shut up, biting her lip, aware she had said too much.

  She couldn’t believe she’d said it at all. Was that her talking? Christie the career girl, the golden girl, the girl who had to have the role of Tigresse and would do any- thing for it? Where was she now, and who was this passionate woman, standing white and vulnerable before her former lover, wanting nothing more than his love— and prepared to humble herself with honest declarations to get it.

  Maybe he’s right, she thought bitterly. We shouldn’t talk about the past. Look how it’s all spilling out of me, all the love, the anger, the memories of a passionate love that crashed on the rocks of ambition.

  ‘We’re here for the weekend,’ Jared said tightly, ‘but we’re here as professionals—not ex-lovers. If we have any hope of making this film together, we’ll be best served by never discussing the past.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘If you can manage it, Jared, so can I.’

  ‘I’m prepared to work with you on Tigresse, because I know you’ll be superb in the role.’

  Her blue eyes flickered up, ambition sparkling at the mention of Tigresse, mingling with hot tears, the loss of love.

  ‘But I’m the director, I’m the one in control, and what I say goes. Any trouble with you while I’m here, and I’ll just re-cast. Got it?’

  ‘Got it,’ she said thickly, realising she had to seem strong even if she wanted to crumple up and cry. ‘No trouble, no talk of the past, everything civilised and very Hollywood—even if there are undercurrents seething between us night and day! Yes, I can do that, Jared. If I must.’

  His smile savaged her. ‘The consummate professional!’

  She stared at him with silent, bitter resentment.

  ‘But bear in mind,’ he said tightly, ‘that you don’t officially have the part yet. I might just decide to re-cast anyway if you’re not as nice as pie to me. In fact—I think you’d better be very honest and above board while we’re here.’

  ‘I’m always honest and above board. You’re the one who goes around lying to himself as well as others!’