Blue Fire

by Sarah Holland

  As she lifted her head, eyes dazed with love and freedom, she licked her lips unconsciously, and Jared gave a low growl, his face running with fierce red colour.

  ‘Your turn to say yes!’ he bit out thickly, and slid her on to her back again, moving on top of her, flicking her thighs apart with deliberate mimicry of absolute male domination and, as she felt his power, she moaned out loud, arching her body in acceptance and submission, feeling the sudden hot thrust of him at her wet, wet entrance.

  He slid inside with one slow thrust. Christie cried out, shaking. So did he. They breathed harshly, staring dazedly into each other’s eyes. Then his finger began to seek and stroke that hot nub of excited flesh between her thighs, his voice began to whisper wicked things, and soon she was gasping higher, faster…

  ‘Yes, yes, yes!’ She jerked against him with a guttural cry of pleasure.’ Her body threw itself all over him, spasming and flooding with heat, wetness, gasping out his name thickly on one broad powerful shoulder as he held her tight, still stroking her, struggling to keep control himself as she vaguely, through her pleasure, sensed his body tensing like a ramrod and beginning to shake with the extent of his excitement and the growing necessity of release.

  She shuddered to a limp, breathless stop beneath him. Her thighs were trembling like crazy. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move her neck, just stared into space as her eyes refocused and she realised her nails were biting deeply into his shoulders.

  Jared dragged air into his lungs, his heart banging vi- olently as he suddenly realised she was released, and started to move against her, slowly at first while his hands clutched her rear, then growing faster, faster, until he was pummelling her repeatedly with harsh growls of desire burning in his throat… and then he gave a shout of pure agony and jerked against her, unmoving for split- seconds, then drawing back with another sucking in of agonised breath, before thrusting back into her, fingers biting into her hips as his excitement burst into her, spurting into her womb with life-giving force, and then a third time, until he collapsed, gasping for breath, on her shoulder.

  They lay like that, two stranded fish without air, struggling for it for minutes as their heartbeats thun- dered between them and through the room, their bodies warm and damp with sweat.

  ‘I love you,’ Jared gasped out unexpectedly without lifting his head, then laughed huskily. ‘I can’t look at you, darling… I feel as though I’ll die if I try to move!’

  She laughed breathlessly and stroked his hair, aston- ished to find it wet, almost saturated with the sweat of his excitement as he had made love to her with such fire and consideration.

  ‘Me, too,’ she whispered huskily. ‘I’m so tired I can’t even breathe. But I love you… very much.’

  ‘Think you can forgive me everything?’ he asked deeply. ‘Even the way I spoke to you about the casting couch?’

  She laughed softly, playing with his hair. ‘Of course I can! You were only being defensive, not trying to hurt me. And I could see so clearly why you thought as you did, darling.’

  ‘Could you, darling?’ He raised his head then, concern in his dark eyes. ‘I was so vicious to you. Said such terrible things. And I know when I said them I meant every word of them. Don’t tell me they didn’t hurt you, because—’

  ‘They devastated me,’ she said truthfully, looking into his eyes. ‘But you had so many good reasons to believe I was that kind of a woman. Those love-games I played with you three years ago were so exciting—but, in retro- spect, they did look damning. And I couldn’t help thinking—that’s all he wanted from me.’

  ‘It was the same for me,’ he admitted with a grimace. ‘The trouble was that I was so influenced by the script of this damned film. Darling, you know how it is when you get involved in a project. It takes you over, colours your whole life until it’s finished. And the character of Lelie was so close to what I’d told myself you were. Even though I’d learned my lesson and was already coming to terms with my own faults, my own responsibilities for what went wrong between us. I still looked at you and saw Lelie…’ He sighed deeply. ‘Maybe it was just casting, but then again—’

  ‘Maybe it was what you were most afraid of,’ she said softly. ‘I understand, darling. And, looking back, it’s easy to see why that was such a strong possibility. I didn’t leave you because of my career, but it was one major reason why our relationship faltered.’

  He smiled, kissing her. ‘It’s amazing, isn’t it, to think we were only together for six months. Yet those six months changed and influenced both our lives for three years—and, hopefully, will continue to influence them for many to come…’

  Christie looked deep into his eyes, her heart thudding with hope, with fear, with love. She knew what she wanted, needed to hear, but was afraid… this was the last vestige of womanhood, this: the proposal of mar- riage from a man she loved. She was a career girl from way back, ambition burned into her soul through hardship and lack of love, mockery in the playground and in the home. It was hard for her to accept that she needed marriage, domesticity, a husband, love and a home. So easy to accept the great, glittering career which shrouded her in a golden haze and dispelled the inferi- orities of her childhood, made her feel special, loved, different, unique. Marriage was something quite dif- ferent. It was the affirmation of normality, of being like everyone else, of being real and human and ordinary. Everyone got married. Stars lived sad, disturbed, un- balanced lives. But Christie didn’t want her life to be like that. She wanted to Have It All, because if she didn’t get it all, she knew that was how she would end up- like all the stars that had gone before her, or at least the majority of them: women without love, without hope, without normality. Maybe that was the key to it. Normality. She needed to feel normal, and ordinary. A woman, not a star. A wife, not a sex symbol. A mother, not an icon.

  Jared looked deep into her eyes, for he must have known more than anyone what a test this was, and exactly what he was about to demand of her, for all his love and understanding.

  ‘Darling,’ he said deeply, unsteadily, ‘will you marry me?’

  She didn’t even hesitate. ‘Yes!’ she whispered huskily, bowing her head to his realness, his humanity. ‘Yes, Jared… I will marry you, my darling.’

  He groaned and kissed her deeply, tenderly, for he understood, they both understood that this was a moment unprecedented in either of their lives, a moment of acceptance of their own humanity, and that however famous, rich, powerful they ever became, there was only one reality for either of them—that they would one day die, be taken back to the earth, be buried ashes to ashes, dust to dust…and only the children of their union would survive.

  They must have children. That was the true immor- tality. In the end, there was no other. All the oil paintings in Casa Camarra, all the Oscars, all the money, all the power in the world could not change that simple fact.

  Yes, still they both dreamed…

  ‘Our children,’ Jared said wonderingly, kissing her, ‘will be stars, millionaires, presidents…’

  ‘And we’ll be so proud!’ she continued, eyes stinging with tears. ‘We’ll think of such names for them, such wonderful names, and give them such a send off…’

  ‘But can’t you just see it, darling?’ he laughed. ‘They’ll probably hate fame, money, power. They’ll turn their backs on it and say, To hell with such artifice! Give me what is real and natural and good! Give me—’

  ‘Love!’ she said softly, touching his neck. ‘Well, I must admit, I’d be a tad disappointed, but I can’t help agreeing with them, even if they’re not born yet. If nothing else, our experience together has taught us that only love is important.’

  ‘I agree,’ he said deeply.

  ‘I’m glad you do,’ she whispered. ‘Because we’re going to go through hell married to each other. You know that, don’t you? You’ll be away filming pictures, I’ll be at home having babies, and when you get back filled with trophies and dreams and triumphs, I’ll probably throw a saucepan at
you and start screaming, “What about my dreams, my trophies and my triumphs…!"’

  ‘Well, then,’ he said deeply, ‘you’d better make your choice before we start. I’m not taking the blame for your life choices. You wouldn’t want me to, either. I’ll take responsibility for mine, and that’s all. But if you decide to give up work and have children… well, then, that’s your choice…’

  She made a face. ‘Oh…all right, then!’

  He laughed, then sobered, eyes concerned. ‘Just be sure, darling. I’d hate to have an unfulfilled wife. And remember—you’ll make Tigresse before you get pregnant.’

  ‘I might be pregnant now,’ she reminded him huskily.

  He stared down at her, going pale. ‘Oh, God, yes…so you might!’

  ‘What price Tigresse then?’

  ‘No…’ His hands tightened on her. ‘No, I don’t be- lieve you’re pregnant, yet. It’s your destiny to make that film, darling. You were born to play the role of Tigresse. It’s your part. You’ll shine in it, be superb, win every award on the board… and when it’s done, when all the hullaballoo is over—then you’ll get pregnant, my darling, but not before then!’

  She laughed, eyes dancing. ‘I’m glad you have such—’

  The telephone rang.

  They stared at it, then at each other.

  Jared leaned over, snatched it up. ‘Yes… ah, that’s very good news.’ His dark eyes flicked to her and she knew suddenly that it was a call about Simon, that he was all right, that he wasn’t going to die, and that he was going to be happy. ‘Really?’ Jared laughed. ‘How extraordinary! No, no, of course I won’t tell anyone else!’

  ‘What?’ Christie demanded silently, her eyes trying to compell him to tell her.

  ‘And everything’s going well, is it?’ he went on, shushing her with one strong hand. ‘Oh, I’m delighted to hear that. Yes…’ He looked at Christie with a wicked, loving smile. ‘Oh, yes, everything’s going wonderfully well here! Mmmm. Well, I don’t know about that! But yes, I’m really pleased to hear your news, and I’ll cer- tainly pass it on!’ He laughed softly, then nodded. ‘OK. See you some time tomorrow, then! Bye…!’

  Christie watched him replace the phone. ‘Well? Who was it? Tell me!’

  He laughed, eyes dancing as he drawled, ‘That was Nessa, calling from the hospital. She’s with Simon, and he’s completely in the clear.’ He laughed again, saying, ‘Guess what? You’ll never guess, I know you won’t…!’

  ‘What!’ she demanded furiously. ‘What!‘

  ‘It wasn’t a heart attack at all!’ he said, laughing again. ‘It was indigestion!’

  Her mouth gaped open. ‘No…!’

  ‘Oh, I’m afraid so!’ he drawled, eyes dancing with wicked light. ‘All that food Mike made him eat, I’m afraid. It produced the symptoms of a heart attack, and that’s why he felt so much pain. But he didn’t have a heart attack at all, poor bloke, he just had serious in- digestion brought on by too many garlic sausages!’ He collapsed with laughter and she went with him, laughing too, because it was such a relief to know Simon was in no real danger at all, even though his predicament was obviously very embarrassing.

  ‘Stop laughing!’ she chided Jared. ‘It’s very naughty of you!’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he returned, still laughing. ‘But you must see the funny side of it, Chris!’

  ‘Of course I do,’ she reprimanded him. ‘But you should see the serious side of it, too. Simon thought he was dying—that’s a very serious moment for a man to go through, particularly in such a public situation!’

  ‘Hey…’ he said softly. ‘I was the one ready to start his heart if it stopped—remember?’

  Her eyes filled with pride. ‘Yes… and I was so proud of you, Jared. You had every reason to hate Simon then. But you still stepped in ready to save his life…’

  ‘Hmm.’ He studied her with a smile, his eyes filled with love. ‘Want to hear how they’re getting on at the hospital? Nessa and Simon, I mean?’

  She nodded at once, eyes intense.

  He smiled. ‘They’re getting married. Right now!’

  ‘What…?’

  ‘Yes—someone is coming to marry them at his bedside, even though he isn’t dying, because they feel they’ve spent too much time apart, and they need to marry right away.’

  Christie stared at him as she imagined the scene—Ness and Simon marrying in haste at his bed, and they would not repent in leisure, because they, too, had learned their lesson in love. Maybe everyone had to learn a hard lesson in love, she thought with sudden amazement. Maybe there were more lessons to learn about love than about any other subject known to man or woman, and Nessa and Simon were no exception, with their history of anger and distrust.

  ‘So, all’s well,’ said Jared in Shakespearean mood, ‘that ends well.’

  She smiled, relaxing beneath him, her arms around his neck. ‘So it does…’

  ‘Darling,’ he said softly, ‘we have so much to look forward to, if we can only trust each other and re- member what we’ve learnt this time round about love.’

  ‘Yes…’ Her eyes darkened.

  ‘Do you think you can do it?’ he whispered against her mouth as he began to kiss her lips burningly, possessively. ‘We went through hell and there was nobody there to help us, not even our friends, because love is a lesson you can only learn alone, and this time through there’s going to be nobody but you and me…!’

  ‘I can handle it,’ she said softly, nuzzling his neck with her warm, loving lips, completely a woman now, not interested in career or ambition as long as she was there with him, his woman, the woman he had chosen for his life and his mate and his equal.

  ‘Oh?’ His eyes shone with passion. ‘What else can you handle?’

  ‘Anything you throw at me,’ she murmured, her eyes hotting up too.

  His breathing quickened. ‘I know I said I’d drop the casting couch stuff…but do you think you could handle some love-games?’

  ‘What did you have in mind?’ she whispered, moving her nude body provocatively against his.

  He groaned hoarsely, burying his hot face in her neck. ‘Chris, I don’t want you to feel I haven’t meant a word I’ve said… it’s just that the thought of it still makes me burn up like a fire-cracker and go wild with desire!’

  ‘Me too!’ She ran her hands deliberately down to his taut buttocks, feeling the sudden, rigid tension growing again all over his body, locking his spine, tightening every muscle, making his manhood stretch her inside excit- ingly. ‘And I want to play love-games as often as possible when we’re married… I’m an actress, remember? I love to act. And I love to excite my audience…’

  ‘Well, you’ve got me seriously excited!’ he drawled thickly, laughing, and raised his head to kiss her. ‘I just want you to know it’ll always be the icing on the cake. It’s you I love. What you are, what you were, what you’ve made of yourself, and what you will be…’

  ‘I’ll be so much more,’ she whispered, ‘if stay with me forever.’

  ‘Oh, I’ll be with you until doomsday!’ he said thickly, lowering his head to kiss her. ‘Till the skies turn cold, the stars fall to earth and the moon herself turns to blue fire…’

  Christie wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened, and lost herself in his arms, secure in her love now, and able to set her career, ambition and secret fears aside just because she had the love of this man, this one, perfect—because he was as imperfect as her—man.

  And as he made love to her, it was she, not the moon, who turned to blue fire…

  eISBN 978-14592-7630-7

  BLUE FIRE

  First North American Publication 1996.

  Copyright© 1994 by Sarah Holland.

  All rights reserved. Except for use In any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or In part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, Including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage
or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road. Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  All characters In this book have no existence outside the Imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly Inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

  ® and TM are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.

  Printed in U.S.A.

  Table of Contents

  Cover Page

  Excerpt

  About The Author

  Title Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Copyright