‘I’m guessing the lake I saw is on the other side of the house?’
Lily nodded without looking up.
Tough gig. Never one to waste energy on an unequal battle, Eve went with instinct. Her voice was gentle. ‘Lex tells me you’re not up to conversation yet?’
This time Lily’s head came up and her chin jutted out: a silent So?, with emphasis.
‘Did your father tell you I’m a nurse?’ Eve grinned. ‘Actually I’m a midwife, but I’m a nurse too.’
Lily nodded and started to fiddle with a loose thread on the cushion of the chair.
‘So while you’re here I’d like to check your blood pressure and stuff. Lex and Blanche want you to feel at home but they also want to make sure you’re okay. You fine with that?’
The girl sighed and shrugged but she did nod, so Eve felt that at least she wasn’t forcing herself on Lily. But she was over doing all the work and wasn’t sure it was even helping.
‘I don’t know about you, but this is pretty awkward. You want to go for a walk and maybe show me around before we think medically? I’d like to see the lake.’
Surprise flared briefly in eyes very similar to Lily’s father’s, and Eve resisted the impulse to smile. She made a show of gathering her sunglasses and preparing for a walk while Lily digested that bit of straight-talking.
They descended the verandah steps together and Eve trailed her finger over a bougainvillea petal. ‘I love gardens. But I’ve got a black thumb. Every pot plant I’ve tried withers and dies. I feel so guilty but I either give them too much or not enough water or light or conversation. I don’t know.’
No response from Lily.
‘I understand it might be easier to retreat, not get into conversations. No way could I do that. My mouth runs on wheels and I’m pretty sure I talk in my sleep. “Monkey chatter”, my older sister used to say.’
When Lily spoke, her voice was a little hoarse from lack of use. ‘I don’t have a sister. Or a mother.’
For once, Eve didn’t rush into speech in case Lily had bottled up a whole lot more. They just walked along the gravel-strewn path around the side of the big Queenslander, sticking close to the house so that nobody could watch them from the verandahs above.
Finally she whispered forlornly, ‘My gran and grandpa are gone too.’
‘I know. It must be horrible for you.’ The face that turned towards her gave a clue to just how horrible it was. Eve winced. ‘Everything must be very different here.’ That was the understatement of the year, she bet.
‘Yes.’
‘So what about your friends?’
Lily shrugged. ‘Boarding school. They’re scattered.’
‘You could phone them. Or text. Email?’
‘I don’t want to do anything.’
Eve could understand that. ‘Okay. But I’m happy to listen any time. And I understand confidential.’ It was Eve’s turn to shrug. ‘I have to in my job.’
Lily paused, turned to face her and narrowed her eyes at Eve. ‘I’ll remember that.’
Eve wasn’t sure if Lily meant she would remember Eve was there to talk or that Eve was bound to confidentiality. That could be problematic.
‘I guess I need to clarify – confidentiality is conditional on everyone being safe.’
The girl pulled a face but Eve liked the way Lily thought about it before she answered. A lot of seventeen-year-olds would have fired up; maybe this girl had a lot of her father in her, despite the distance between them.
‘I’d want to know before anything was passed on.’
This can of worms was getting wormier. ‘That’s fair enough.’
‘Okay.’
‘Um, can I tell your dad that you’re talking? Not that I have vast experience of this, but I imagine that’s the sort of thing fathers want to know.’
‘If you want to, I guess.’
‘Only if it’s okay with you. I won’t if you prefer I didn’t.’
A long sigh. ‘If you think he needs to know.’
‘I think he does. Thank you. I’ll stop there. Your dad wants to be here for you. You know that?’
‘So he said.’ Lily looked unconvinced but Eve understood these were early days yet. She didn’t see how even a broken-hearted Lily could miss that her father was honest and reliable.
Lily glanced across at the house and grimaced. ‘And then there’s the grandmother from hell!’
Eve laughed, tried to stop, shaking her head in apology, but it was a little while before she could speak. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve got a boss just like her in Brisbane.’
Lily rolled her eyes.
‘Seriously, Blanche is good people, but different. I predict one day you’ll be so proud of that woman it will blow you away, but there’s no hurry. She’s a lot to get used to and you’ve got enough on your plate.’
Lily stopped and balled her hands into fists, which she dug into her sides. Her lips flattened as if she wasn’t going to say anything, and then they burst like a dam breaking.
‘Why did I have to lose my family? Why me? Why couldn’t I have died too?’
Eve guessed it was good that she was getting it out, but there were no answers. ‘I don’t know, Lily. Why anyone?’
They walked on and Lily’s steps were more rushed as the girl battled with her emotions.
Eve had a stab at verbalising what Lily wasn’t. ‘It’s not fair. It’s horrible. But maybe you didn’t die because you have your life to live.’
No comment from the girl beside her.
‘Tell me to shut up any time, but you do have relatives who can be there for you. You’re not an orphan and you could have been. Maybe the McKays can help your sadness. And you can help your dad’s sadness over how much he missed of your growing up.’
‘I don’t care about him. I care about me. I’ve lost my mother. I’ve lost my grandparents and it sucks.’
Yep, it did. Big time. ‘Of course.’
They walked on for another ten minutes before they said anything more. Eve realised that if Lily could not talk for four days, then keeping silent for an hour in Eve’s company would be easy for the girl. But Eve couldn’t do it. So she did what she always did. Talked.
‘At least when I lost my mum I knew it was coming,’ she said eventually. ‘I nursed her at home until she died. My dad died a couple of months ago, here, and, like you, I didn’t know him. But I can’t imagine how hard it would be for your whole life to change so suddenly. Nobody can.’
She’d said nearly enough. Just one more thing. ‘But everyone wants to be there for you if you need them.’ Goodness knows how much Lily was actually hearing and how much was just the noise of Eve talking. She decided to shut up.
‘You didn’t know your dad either?’
Eve guessed it was always the unexpected that people heard. ‘I wanted to, but it never happened. I feel pretty guilty about that, and now it’s too late.’
‘My mum said my dad was dead. I thought he was.’
‘Of course. No way you could think anything else. She must have had her reasons.’
There was a pause. Lily didn’t comment and Eve couldn’t help continuing. ‘When I was younger Mum said my dad was too busy for me to see him. But before she died she told me she hadn’t let him come.’
Lily snorted. ‘I don’t want to talk to them.’ She inclined her head towards the house.
Eve shrugged. ‘No one can make you. Just try to remember that Lex and Blanche and Henry haven’t done anything wrong. And it’s easier for them if you talk.’
She sighed. ‘I suppose.’ A lost little voice, floating out from under a waterfall of dark hair. It was hard to remember that this young woman was in a totally different world last week.
‘Are you having bad dreams about the accident?’
Lily gave a quick hard shake of the head. ‘I wish I did. I don’t remember anything. The doctor kept saying it was good that I was asleep when it happened. But I don’t think so.’
It was a tough call eith
er way but Eve leaned towards agreeing with the doctor. ‘You’ll never know if it was better or not.’
They walked on a little further before turning back towards the house.
‘I like the thought that people you love were protecting you while you were asleep,’ Eve mused. ‘That’s why you’re still here.’
Lily stopped to look at Eve. ‘That’s the kindest thing I’ve heard all week. Thank you.’
‘So how did you really go, talking to Lily?’ They were in the helicopter, safely landed again at Red Sand’s airstrip after an awkward lunch where Blanche tried too hard, Lily tried too little, and Lex watched on helplessly. Eve had indigestion for all of them.
‘Fine. And lunch wasn’t too bad. At least Lily is answering in monosyllabic grunts. She’s not so different to her dad after all.’
He almost smiled. ‘I know. Thank you for that. It is a start. I just feel so ill-equipped to deal with a teenage girl, that’s all.’
‘You don’t have to deal with her, Lex. She’s a young woman. You have to remember, where I worked it wasn’t uncommon for women her age to have babies.’
Lex shuddered. ‘Heaven forbid.’
Eve laughed. ‘I can see you with a shotgun, watching the boys she dates. But she’s tough and capable. I think she has a lot of her father in her. Just love her and the rest will work.’
He looked at her and shook his head. ‘How did you get to be so wise?’
‘Ha. That’s a laugh. I’m the one who didn’t go to med school. Wise people have “doctor” in front of their names. My mother and sister have added “poor” in front of mine, as in, “Poor Eve can’t get her life in order.”’
The look he cast her way was long and considering, and a small smile played around his lips. ‘I think Poor Eve is richer in life experience and wisdom than the lot of us.’
Eve’s eyes prickled and stung and she looked away quickly. It was a pretty tall compliment from someone who managed a million-acre station and juggled a strong-willed family. She chewed her lip furiously to hold back the ridiculous dampness in her eyes, even if it did take the skin off her mouth. It had to be the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. She swallowed the lump in her throat, took a deep breath and got on with it. Professionally, at least.
‘Anyway, apart from massive, understandable grief, Lily checks out perfectly health-wise. Her blood pressure and pupils don’t show any signs of underlying neurological damage.’ She shot him a cheeky smile. ‘Not so bad having a medical clinic closer to home, is it?’
He undid his seatbelt, and then, in slow motion, reached across and undid hers. Instead of sitting back he leaned in and pulled her towards him.
‘Thank you, Eve. I owe you,’ he said as he brought his face closer to hers.
She realised what he was going to do just before he kissed her. His mouth was warm and solid and incredibly commanding – just like he was.
Yum. She felt like she was tumbling down the red, red sandhills right into his arms. Her hands unconsciously reached up to his neck as she opened to him.
He pulled back and then, as if changing his mind, leaned in again and she was lost. It felt like her heart wanted to burst from her chest, like the birds at the edge of a waterhole exploding into flight. But that euphoria settled as he let her go. The sudden knowledge she’d fallen for the unobtainable brought her back to earth. An outback cattle baron and a midwife from Brisbane? The dream was a long way from reality.
But as ‘thank you’s went, she should be more than happy with the kiss.
He eased back further, and so did she, right after she remembered to open her eyes. Okay, then. It was over.
His eyes were teasing but his face was deadpan. ‘I just felt like a little short-term plastering.’
It was pretty cool that he remembered her words from their picnic. But not a good idea to make too much of it.
‘Hmm. Well.’ Come on, brain. She opened her door. Babbled some more. ‘Thanks for showing me Diamond Lake, Lex.’
At least she hadn’t said thanks for the kiss.
TWENTY
Colleen, the mother with the breech baby, went into labour not long after Eve had left for Diamond Lake Station.
Callie had just seen out her last patient before lunch, and shown in Bennet to share her sandwiches, when Colleen’s husband, eyes creased with worry, hurried across the wooden floor.
‘She’s gonna have this baby,’ the tall man said, and Callie looked at his concerned face and then at Colleen’s strained one as she eased into the room.
Callie, whose heart rate was probably as high Colleen’s, steered the couple through to Eve’s room, where the ultrasound and baby monitor were. ‘Get the flying doctor on the line, please, Bennet.’ Why couldn’t this have happened when Eve was around?
Colleen groaned and muttered almost inaudibly, ‘It’s coming.’
Cripes, Callie thought, considering helplessly the options of trying to listen to the baby’s heartbeat or getting ready to listen to the baby on the outside. Where was Eve when she needed her? ‘It’s okay, Colleen. The flying doctor will be here soon and they’ll take you to Charleville.’
The young woman crossed the room hurriedly to the examination couch as if she had a date with the table, but instead of climbing up she squatted beside it and held onto the deck above her head. And pushed.
Cripes, cripes. Callie stuck her head out the door and spoke in a deceptively calm voice. ‘Bennet. I need you. Now.’ Bennet was a vet. He knew about birth and could help if she got into trouble. It might have been worse.
Colleen’s husband paled and Callie glanced at him. ‘Sit. Now.’ The man did what he was told and stumbled into the nearest chair.
There was no time to think negative thoughts. All positive thoughts. Everything will be fine. Just don’t touch the baby unless you have to. How the heck would she know if she had to? Where was Eve?
She pulled herself together. Eve had said the mother would position herself where she wanted, she would do all the work. Have faith.
Faith was a little hard to come by at the moment.
Bennet reappeared. ‘Plane’s on its way.’
‘Great.’ She met Bennet’s eyes and he nodded reassuringly. Well, he had faith in her, anyway. Her mind was clearing. ‘Can you grab me a towel and pop a couple more in the tumble dryer to heat up, please? And a bunny rug?’
Bennet nodded and returned quickly with two towels that he placed gently on the desk. ‘I’ll try and reach Eve. Holler if you need me.’
As he disappeared from view Colleen made a grunting noise. Callie refocused, casting her eyes towards the suction tubing and oxygen that Eve had intuitively prepared for such an event.
‘I think you might need to take your pants off, Colleen.’
There was a flick of a towel for Colleen to stand on, another quick shuffle and it was done. ‘I haven’t lost the water yet,’ Colleen gasped before she grunted again, but she didn’t look scared now she was here.
The calm that eased over Callie was something she hadn’t expected. She sank onto the little stool Eve used when she was talking to children and pulled her gloves on slowly. Well, then. Let’s just do that normal thing. She opened the little pack of disposable instruments, two metal clamps for the umbilical cord, a pair of scissors for separating mother and baby, and the little plastic peg that stayed on the umbilical stump afterwards. She hadn’t expected to be looking at those.
She reassured herself again. In the old days breech babies were normal. Just don’t interfere. She put another one of the towels down to catch the flood when it came.
As if on cue, the waters broke, and it happened just as Eve had said.
A little bottom appeared in a curve like a fat banana and then one leg flopped down, quickly followed by the other. Colleen was squatting not far off the floor so pretty soon the little feet were touching it on tiptoes. Now Callie could see the stretched umbilical cord and an extended tummy.
Callie reached across and very briefly f
elt the thick cord. Eve had said she didn’t need to, but she needed to, and sighed with relief at the steady heartbeat of the baby as it pulsed in the cord. She pulled her hands away, lest she was tempted to touch anything else.
Bennet crouched reassuringly behind her. Callie reached out her hands as the chest, shoulders and arms appeared slowly. With the extra length of body the baby folded into a sitting position, then baby’s face and finally all of its head eased out until it fell forwards into Callie’s outstretched hands.
The baby cried. So did Callie, but no one noticed. She wiped baby shakily with a towel Bennet had handed her, sorted the tangle of cord to clamp and cut it, and handed baby to Bennet so she could help Colleen. The placenta plopped out with very little blood as Colleen stood up, and it was done.
Then there was a soft thud as Colleen’s husband fainted and slid out of the chair.
Four hours later, Colleen had safely landed in Charleville so the paediatrician could check out her baby, Bennet had driven her husband home, and Eve was back from Diamond Lake Station.
Eve was clapping her hands. ‘I am so jealous. Go you, Dr Callie!’
‘I would not have survived if you hadn’t talked me through it beforehand.’ Callie shook her head and Bennet squeezed her shoulder. Her hands had finally stopped their St Vitus dance and Bennet had only just stopped saying how proud he was of her.
‘Sure you would have.’ Eve’s face was filled with delighted excitement.
‘Thank you, Eve.’
‘What for? I wasn’t even here.’
Callie looked under her brows at Eve. ‘Somehow, over the last couple of months, insidiously, you restored my faith in birth. In women. And in trusting that good things can happen.’
Eve waved that away. ‘It was all in your head. I knew you would be amazing.’ She glanced at Bennet, who wore a bemused expression every time he looked at Callie. ‘She’s amazing.’
‘I’ve always known that,’ he said quietly.
‘Let’s go tell Sylvia. She’ll love it.’
TWENTY-ONE
Sienna knew the drive to Brisbane would be a long one. By the time she’d reached the Darling Downs and hit the Warrego Highway she was over it.
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