The touch was spontaneous combustion as she surged against him, sliding her fingers into his hair. It was like holding fire in his arms. The small sounds of pleasure she was making heated his blood. Desire exploded through him as he pressed her into the mattress, his body half covering hers.
When he traced her mouth with his tongue, she opened to him and he could no more stop himself from taking what she offered than he could hold back the sunrise. He plunged inside, stroking and staking his claim, invading her, imitating the act of making love. He teased the roof of her mouth and felt her squirm, rubbing her bare foot along his thigh.
As naturally as breathing, he moved his hand from her waist, up under her sweater, to settle on her abdomen.
“Oh, Jack,” she said, her voice husky with passion.
“You feel good, Maddie.”
The words were pathetically inadequate to describe the silky softness of her skin, the exquisite sensation of her bare flesh. He rubbed his thumb back and forth, just underneath her breast, just grazing the underside. Her pleasured whimper fueled his own excitement, feeding his need to feel her naked body against his own.
He slid his hand higher, resting his palm on her breast. Through the wisp of lace that was her bra, he felt her tighten at his touch and savored the wonder of her response to him. In the dim light, he could see her head thrown back in abandon, the slim column of her neck exposed, there for the taking.
A small smile played on her lips as she squirmed in his arms. “Oh, Jack. That feels so— Good.”
“I love touching you.”
Acting on pure instinct, he pulled far enough away to grasp the bottom of her sweater, then drag it up and off. She sat up, and with a smoky glance over her shoulder let him know to unhook her bra, which he could now see was black and sexy. His hands shook slightly as he released the fasteners and the sides parted, revealing her slender back.
“Love me, Jack.”
“No need to rush.” Except he’d never heard quite that level of need in his own voice before.
Dropping his head, he kissed her neck and relished the shiver that shook her. He touched his lips to her shoulder as he reached around and took her bare breasts in the palms of his hands. The fit was perfect, the feel delicate, lovely, intense. He rubbed his thumbs over her nipples and felt them pebble at his touch. She was amazingly receptive and so immediately quick to respond.
Her responsiveness drove him crazy. But she’d stopped him before, insisting that making love would destroy the good thing they had.
“Maddie?” He kissed her neck and smiled when she shivered. “I have to ask. Are you sure about this?”
“Very sure.” Her voice was laced with desire. “It never felt right before. Doubts crept in. And I just couldn’t do it.”
“So there’s not a doubt in your mind?” he persisted.
In answer, she tilted her head to the side, giving him the freedom to roam her neck at will. “None. I’ve waited for the right man and never thought you’d be the one. But this feels right. It feels perfect.”
Waited? Right man? The one? His head pounded along with other body parts that urged him to ignore the words. But he couldn’t. Doubts crept in, but surely he was wrong. “Have you ever done this before?”
She twisted her fingers together and hesitated a moment before answering. “No.”
“You’re a virgin?”
“That would be the correct term for someone who’s never had sex.” Her tone was sassy, but the underlying vulnerability leaked through.
She’d never been with a man.
Good God. What the hell was he doing?
Maddie was an innocent. He cared about her. God, he was despicable. He couldn’t treat her the way he treated other women, experienced women looking for a one-night stand.
He dropped his hands as if he’d been burned and backed away. Sitting on the mattress, he rubbed both hands over his face as need and frustration warred inside him.
“Jack?” Maddie glanced over her shoulder. Her gaze was hidden in shadow but there was a tremor in her voice.
“You were right, Maddie. On New Year’s Eve when you said this would spoil us.”
“I was wrong. I want this. I want you.” She turned to face him.
He looked at her, so proud, so beautiful, and didn’t think he could stand much more. Maddie wanted love and marriage. She wanted someone who could make her happy. This was her gift to that man. It was special. She was special. If he took it from her, she’d hate him. And he didn’t think he could stand it if Maddie hated him. If she didn’t leave, he didn’t think he could stop himself.
“It’s been great, Maddie. Seeing London with you. The laughs. Spending money on you.”
“But— The things you said— About kissing me.”
“I meant everything.” And more, he wanted to say. “It’s been fun. You’re terrific. And I don’t want you to misunderstand because sex complicates everything.”
The bruised look was back in her eyes. “I don’t understand. Is it because I’ve never done this before?”
“It’s because there’s nothing between us, Maddie.” He rolled off the bed, as far from her as he could get. He didn’t trust himself near enough to touch her.
She crossed her arms over her breasts, embarrassment chasing away her passion and pleasure. He hated himself for making her look like that, for making her ashamed. But he couldn’t do this. Not to Maddie.
“You need to go,” he ground out. He needed her to leave before he couldn’t let her go at all.
She gasped, a small cry, then scrambled off the bed and gathered up her sweater, covering herself as she rushed from the room. Destroyed.
Way to go, ace, he thought. DNA had reared its ugly head, proving he was like his father after all.
Jack ran his fingers through his hair, then pressed his fists to his eyes, trying to block out everything, without success. He would never be able to block out the shock, surprise, and hurt he’d put on Maddie’s face. But sending her away had been the right thing. And not just for her. He’d needed her today, and not in the physical sense.
Well, that was a lie, he thought. He’d needed her that way, too. Apparently he needed her in every way it was possible to need a woman. And he couldn’t stand that he did. He didn’t want to need anyone ever again. If there was any positive in dredging up the past, it was the reminder that he could only count on himself.
He’d sent Maddie away for her own good. She would thank him in the morning. And they could forget all about this.
Chapter Nine
CHAPTER NINE
MADDIE was numb when she closed her door and locked it. As if she needed a lock to keep Jack out. She could leave the door wide open, dance around naked and still be safe from him. How ironic was this? she thought bitterly. She’d waited to give herself to a man, and finally decided to go for it. She’d wanted Jack to be the one, and she hadn’t given any thought to having a ring on her finger first. She wanted him simply because she loved him. And he’d turned her away.
Anger sneaked past the numbness and she stoked it to hold back the pain she knew was coming. She threw her black bra across the room, then yanked her sweater over her head. Putting it back on in front of him would have been too…Too humiliating. All she’d wanted was escape.
Maddie wished the earth would open and swallow her. She’d been humiliated when the man she’d loved had bet he could get her into bed. She’d been mortified when the story had spread all over her college campus. But that was nothing compared to this.
She was in love with a man who didn’t want her. New York was teeming with models and actresses—some of the world’s most beautiful women. They were the core of his dating pool.
“Dating my foot,” she muttered. “A euphemism for sleeping with them.” Her eyes burned, then filled with tears. “But he wouldn’t sleep with me. Not even for money. He doesn’t need it.”
She didn’t know from personal experience, but it was generally understood that m
en wanted sex pretty much all the time. And it was also a generally accepted fact that they took it wherever they could find it. Which made his rejection all the more pathetic. Jack didn’t even have to look for sex. She’d been right there, in his arms, in his bed. Willing and ready. Boy, had she been ready. And he’d still turned her away.
Was she not thin enough? Not pretty enough? Too blonde? Not blonde enough? What was wrong with her? He’d kissed her and it had been good. Better than good.
She’d never been swept away, not even in college. Her choice to sleep with the jerk had been logical—a conscious decision to go to the next level. But when it had been over with him, she’d never felt this physical ache. And somehow she knew it was more than sex. It was the need to make love, to give herself only to Jack.
Unfortunately the thoughts pouring through her melted the numbness and she began to feel. The pain knotted in her stomach and spread everywhere, until finally lodging like a rock in her chest. It pressed against her heart.
His rejection had nothing to do with her looks. It was chemistry. She felt it; he didn’t. She’d probably been nothing more than a diversion. At least he’d had the decency to push her away before she’d made an even bigger fool of herself. Maddie breathed deeply, dragging air into her lungs along with the scent of Jack still clinging to her sweater.
“He can’t love me. He can’t love anyone—” Her voice cracked.
That was when her heart shattered and she knew the shards would prick her forever.
The next morning Maddie still wanted to fall through a hole in the earth. Probably not the best thing to think before getting on a plane. But she couldn’t help it. After a night spent crying into her pillow to muffle the sobs, her eyes were tired and puffy. She no doubt looked hideous. If he rejected her now it would be understandable. But they’d ridden to the airport in stony silence and that showed no signs of changing.
It was no consolation whatsoever to realize she’d been right. He was toxic for her. If he’d turned on the charm like any self-respecting bad boy she’d have seen the dismissal coming and shut him down before he could draw first blood. But he’d done something worse than be straightforward. He’d opened up to her emotionally and that had been her undoing.
So here they were. Maddie, queen of till-death-do-us-part, was in love with Jack, king of one-night stands, in the airport waiting area. He sat in a row of chairs across from her, working on his laptop as if the information would bring about world peace or a cure for cancer.
She stole looks at him, even though each and every glance produced a pain that went soul-deep. If only he looked tired and puffy, too. Or tortured. That would be good. But he just looked like… Like Jack. Handsome, intense, dark, hunky Jack. She wished…
Her cell phone rang and she saw him glance over. When their gazes met, his own was hooded before he looked down at his computer again.
Maddie flipped open the phone. “Hello.”
“Hi, honey. It’s Mom.”
“Mom—” Maddie’s throat closed as the familiar warmth seemed to reach out and wrap around her, chasing away the cold. How stupid would it be to lose control now, when she’d managed to hold it together from the hotel to the airport?
“Maddie? Are you there?” A worried note crept into Karen Ford’s voice. “Is everything okay?”
Maddie got up and walked over to the window looking out at the jet and the maintenance crew in overalls checking it over.
“I’m fine, Mom.” But her throat closed again.
It felt like that time she was ten or eleven and had somehow gotten separated from the rest of her family at a big amusement park. For a long time, she’d wandered around alone and scared, looking for them. But she’d held it together until she’d finally spotted her mother and burst into tears. As a grown woman she realized she’d let go because it had been safe. With Jack so close, nowhere felt safe.
“What’s going on?” Karen asked.
“I’m at the airport. In Dublin,” she added. “We’re on our way back to London.”
“What are you doing in Ireland?”
“Jack came to see his mother. It’s close to London.”
“I’m aware,” her mother said wryly. “You never said anything about his family.”
“Because I didn’t know anything.”
She wished she didn’t now. Seeing them again had changed Jack. The past had unleashed the darker man, intensifying the reckless streak that had made him successful. She’d also seen the thoughtful, protective side. Now she felt she knew the whole person, the three-dimensional man with flaws and frailties, strength and a depth of nobility she’d never suspected.
He was the man she’d been waiting for all her life and could never have.
“Maddie?”
“Sorry, Mom. Why did you call? Is everything okay there? Dad?”
“Everyone’s fine. I just hadn’t heard from you.”
That was when Maddie realized she’d never appreciated her parents and family enough. She’d always taken their love for granted. A few weeks without talking and the woman was on the phone. Jack had left home at eighteen because his mother had been a basket case and his father a bastard and no one had bothered to go after him.
“I’ve been kind of busy, Mom. How was the cruise?”
“Amazing. You should have come with us.”
Maddie couldn’t agree more. “I’m glad you had a good time. Can’t wait to see the pictures.”
“When are you coming home?”
She wished she’d never left; she wished she were there now. The tears were threatening again. She heard a cell ring behind her and glanced over her shoulder to see Jack take a call, then signal that it was time to board. “I’ll be home soon. I’ve got to go, Mom. It’s really good to hear your voice.”
“Same here. Can’t wait to hear all about your trip and how things are with you.”
No more than Maddie could wait to unburden her heart. “I miss you so much. Bye, Mom. Love you.”
“Love you, too, sweetie.”
She followed Jack onto the plane then and took her seat. After landing in London, she unbuckled her seat belt and stood. Jack was retrieving a bag from the overhead bin and the sight of his broad back and flexing muscles brought a sharp, fresh wave of pain. She missed home; she missed her family. And she made up her mind about something else.
“Jack, I’m not going back to the hotel with you.”
“Why not?” he asked, one eyebrow lifting.
“There’s something I have to take care of.”
He frowned. “Everything all right?”
No, she wanted to say. He’d completely mortified her. On top of that he’d hurt her terribly and she couldn’t be around him.
“Everything’s fine,” she lied.
He stared at her for several moments, but his expression was unreadable. “All right. I’ll see you later.”
He acted as if nothing had changed between them and nothing could be further from the truth. For her everything was different.
Maddie took a deep breath, bracing herself to face Robert Valentine. Her first thought had been to stop by the house, then she’d realized Bella Lucia was probably where she’d be more likely to find the workaholic. She knocked once on the office door, and after hearing a muffled “Come in,” she entered the room. Jack’s father sat at his desk, staring at the computer monitor.
“Hello, Mr Valentine.”
Surprise flashed across his handsome face. “Maddie. How nice to see you.”
She cocked a thumb over her shoulder. “Max was downstairs and sent me up. Am I interrupting?” If she was, she really didn’t care.
“Not at all, my dear. Do sit down.” He swiveled his chair to face her and held out a hand, indicating the chair in front of the desk.
She settled her jacket and purse on the other chair, then sat and crossed one jean-clad leg over the other. “Thank you.”
“I assume Jack is downstairs?” If he was worried about Jack’s intention
s, it didn’t show.
“No.” She shook her head. “I came here alone.”
“What a nice surprise.” He linked his fingers and rested his hands on his desk. “You’re looking lovely as ever. London agrees with you, I think.”
That was baloney. She was aware that she looked as if she’d been run over by a truck. Effortless charm. Like father, like son. Maybe like the son, there was more depth in the father than anyone knew, and she was about to find out. Although the part of her that was hurting just wanted to walk away. That part wanted to be bitter and angry.
But she couldn’t forget that Jack had wanted her here with him when he faced his family. Since the night they’d arrived in this restaurant, she’d been a bridge between him and them. She’d cross it one more time because she loved Jack. When you loved someone, you wanted them to find happiness. He couldn’t do that until he resolved his past. She’d do this one last thing for him.
“I think London is a lovely city, but I wouldn’t say it agrees with me. Or Dublin, either.” Especially not Dublin. She drew in a deep breath.
“What about Dublin?” Robert asked sharply.
“This isn’t actually a social call.”
His dark eyebrows drew together. “No?”
“Jack and I returned from Ireland just this morning. We saw his mother.” She pressed her lips tightly together, then decided to just say it. “I came here, Mr Valentine, because I just learned the truth of what happened twelve years ago. It’s time you knew, too.”
“What are you talking about?”
When Maddie finished the sorry tale, the older man looked taken aback. “You’re saying that Jack deliberately let me think he was an irresponsible slacker?”
“Jack said it was quite easy for you to think the worst of him.”
“I see.” Robert leaned back in his chair. He stared at the papers on his desk, but couldn’t hide the shock and surprise of this revelation. As he processed the information and the ramifications the frown on his face deepened. Then the intense expression took on traces of shrewdness. “Why do you care, Maddie?”
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