by Sadie Black
“We’re going to find out soon, ok? I know it’s hard, but try to take some deep breaths and think positive.”
I try to nod, but my head won’t budge. Instead, I’m rewarded with a flash of pain across my forehead. It doesn’t bother me though, all I can concentrate on is my baby. I try to psychically communicate with my baby to say it’s going to be ok, to hang on. When was the last time I felt the baby move? Did the doctor say vaginal bleeding? I try to take deep breaths, but they’re ragged and heavy.
Within a minute, I’m being unstrapped and transferred onto a hospital bed. In a flurry, my shirt is cut off of me and straps are placed over my chest as cold jelly is smeared over my belly. Normally, when I feel the gel before an ultrasound, I giggle with excitement. It’s always a thrill to hear my baby’s heartbeat fill the room and watch the outline of my little bean squirm around on the monitor. Now I’m filled with dread, and the monitor is tucked away behind my head so I can’t even see the screen.
“Don’t forget to breathe, Mom.” The nurse guides me as terror grips my chest. My breathing is shallow, but it’s the only sound filling the room as the doctor pushes a wand into my belly searching for signs of life in my baby. The nurse holds my hand, and I twist my head to take a look at the doctor’s face, hoping for some kind of indication of what’s going on. However, he’s just squinting at the screen, concentrating as he pokes my belly with the wand from different directions.
Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh. I gasp and cry with fresh tears of joy as my baby’s heart beat pours out of the speakers. I’ve never heard a sweeter sound. “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.” I look at the ceiling toward God and rivers of tears stream out of the corners of my eyes and down to the pillow under my head.
“We’ve got symptoms of fetal hypoxia.” The doctor holding the wand tells his colleague and my heart seizes. What the hell is that?
“Umbilical prolapse?” Someone I can’t see at the end of the bed asks calmly like he’s asking if the doctor likes cream in his coffee.
“No indications of prolapse,” the doctor answers. “How long was the patient unconscious?” He asks the nurse as though it isn’t my stomach he’s doing an ultrasound on.
“Do you know how long you were out for?” The nurse repeats his question to me.
“I’m not sure. It felt like a while, but I don’t know for sure.” My mind flashes back to my struggle with Eileen in the bathroom and then my world slowly fading into black. The next thing I saw was Bradley’s face and Eileen being walked out of the room in handcuffs. How long did it take for the cops to get there?
“She isn’t sure,” the nurse relays my answer back to the doctor like a translator at the UN.
“Ok, lets get Mom on oxygen and an IV. Also, get someone in here to sew up that gash,” he waves at my head reminding me of the throbbing pain in my forehead. “Put a belt on her and get a steady readout. I want an update every twenty minutes unless it changes, then come get me straight away.” He barks orders like a drill-Sergeant and the nurses and aides around him scramble like they’re private recruits in the army.
“Excuse me! What is going on with my baby? What’s happening?” I yell, tired of being treated like I don’t exist.
“Joanne, you take care of this.” He snaps off his rubber gloves, tossing them into the garbage can and leaves the room without acknowledging me. Prick.
There is another flurry of activity as someone clips a thin belt and sticks what look like tiny suction cups to my belly. A print out begins to start on a machine the belt is attached to, and she watches it for a while, pushing some buttons. Another nurse pokes an IV into my hand and tapes the tube against my skin.
“What’s going on?” I beg. “Is my baby going to be ok? Someone tell me,” my voice cracks.
“Everything is gonna be just fine,” the nurse by my side, the only one who has been treating me like a human the entire time, assures me. “Your baby is just a bit shook up right now, so we need to get it to calm down. We see this all the time, it’s nothing to worry about. The best thing you can do for your baby right now is try to relax.”
The aide who just taped the IV to my hand is holding an oxygen mask in front of my face. “Ok, so I just need you to keep this on and take deep, steady breaths.” I nod and lean forward so she can slip the strap over my head and secure the mask to my face.
“Don’t worry. I know it feels impossible, but just try to relax. Someone will be up here shortly to stitch up your head. In the meantime, deep breaths and relaxation are the best things you can do, ok?” My angel nurse reassures me.
As the room clears out, my head is spinning. My body is covered in straps and tubes, and I have no idea what’s going on with my little bean. My mind keeps flopping back and forth between relaxing and flipping the fuck out. I lie my head back into my pillow and close my eyes, silently communicating with the baby inside me. You can do this! Please, keep fighting. I can’t bear to lose you now!
Chapter Three
Bradley
It feels like an eternity before we find Brianna’s room. Between the Manhattan traffic and tracking down a damned parking spot, I’m certain that it’s been more than an hour since we left Central Park. When we finally find the right door, I almost wish that we stumbled into the wrong room.
On the bed, Brianna has tubes and wires running out of her. With the taped cut on her forehead and the oxygen mask on her face, she is breaking my heart with how rough she looks. As soon as she sees us, she begins to cry, and Evelyn rushes to her side to sob along with her.
“What’s that Braddy?” Brooklyn looks around the room in wonder and points to the monitor registering a heartbeat next to Brianna.
“That’s a machine for the doctors.” I carry her on my hip and try to hold her so she can’t grab at things as I look down at Brianna. Now that I’m closer, I can see the cut on her forehead is swollen and stitched up.
“Has the bleeding stopped?” I’m afraid of the answer. I know that by now she must be aware of the blood stain I watched spread over her pants.
The tears in her eyes spill over and hit the mask covering her nose. She shakes her head no and despite my best efforts to stay calm, my own eyes sting as they mist up. “We’re going to get through this,” I squeeze her hand as my voice wavers. “No matter what, we’re family. We will pull through this.” My voice trembles unconvincingly.
Brianna’s father sits on the couch against the wall and holds his hand out to his wife. “Evelyn, now isn’t the time for your tears. Sit here and pray with me.” She peels herself off of Brianna like a child ripping open the Velcro on their shoe and sits next to her husband. Wiping the trails of tears from her eyes, she bows her head over her folded hands and joins Henry in prayer.
“Is Brianna wearing a costume?” Brooklyn points her chubby finger at the oxygen mask and then looks at me wide-eyed. I can see that she’s trying to make sense of all of this, but it’s impossible to explain to a two-year-old.
“No, honey. She needs that mask so she can breathe better. The doctors want her to wear it so she’ll get well quickly.” I do my best to explain in a way that won’t scare her. I’m sure the beeps and whirs of the machines are overwhelming for her. I know it’s overwhelming me.
“I love you,” Brianna’s voice is barely a whisper under her mask. But my heart heard her words even before my ears, swelling up in my chest as I look down on her. She is truly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and nothing, not even a monster like Eileen, can take that away from her.
“I love you too; I love you so much.” I choke back my emotions but the tears I’ve been struggling to hide finally break free and drip down my face.
“Knock, knock!” A stern looking doctor enters the room carrying a chart. He barely glances at us as he reads his paperwork and glimpses at the monitors. We’re all watching him, collectively holding our breath, as we wait to hear an update. “Ok, so Miss Hendricks, it looks like the oxygen and IV are working their magic. The baby is starting to
move around again, and the heart rate is returning to normal.
“Thank you, Lord!” Henry exclaims and the doctor frowns at the interruption.
“As I was saying, you’re not quite out of the woods yet, so we’d like to keep you here for a few days under observation to make sure everything stabilizes and remains that way. Does that sound ok?”
He looks at me for confirmation instead of Brianna. “Of course, whatever needs to be done,” I answer and Brianna nods in agreement.
“All right then, the nurses will be checking in with you regularly. And if you need some pain medication for your head, don’t be a hero, let them know. It won’t cross the blood stream and harm the baby, ok?” He glimpses at Brianna but doesn’t wait for her to respond. “Perfect. I’ll check up on you again tomorrow then.” He clicks his pen and thrusts it in his coat pocket and disappears from the room as quickly as he came in. Talk about bedside manner.
“Braddy, I hungry,” Brooklyn whines at me.
“You should take her home,” Brianna whispers. “Everything is going to be fine.” I can’t be sure, but I think she’s smiling from the doctor’s news under her mask.
“I’m not taking her home. We’re staying with you.” I tell her firmly.
“Oh, Bradley, you can’t stay in this room. Where will you two sleep?” Evelyn jumps in. “If you want, we can take Brooklyn for the night…”
“No way!” Brooklyn clings her arms around my neck. I have to say, I agree with her.
“Thank you, Evelyn. That’s really nice of you. I think you’ll understand that I don’t want to be away from either of them right now. No. Brooklyn stays with me, and I’m staying put. I’m going to get us upgraded to one of the suites here. They have pull-out beds and tv for Brooklyn. We’re sticking together.”
Evelyn looks uncertain, but Henry jumps in, “that makes a lot of sense. It’s good to see you taking care of everything. I can see our daughter is in good hands.”
Brianna looks exhausted, not that I can blame her. The best thing might be to see if I can upgrade this room now, so she’ll be more comfortable.
“Mr. Sheppard? Can we have a word, Sir?” I turn to meet the familiar voice at the door. The officer from the park and his partner are waiting for me in the hallway.
“Certainly. Thank you for waiting. I appreciate it.” I smile, but in my exhausted state I can barely move my lips. The drama of the day has taken it’s toll on all of us.
“No problem, Sir. We just need to get your statement, and we’ll be on our way.” I give Brianna a quick kiss and carry Brooklyn out of the room, following the officers down the hall. I hope that they’re right about this being quick, because I meant what I said. This family is sticking together, and I don’t plan on letting them out of my sight again any time soon.
Chapter Four
Brianna
“No, Eileen! No!” I wake myself up screaming, cold sweat is beading on my forehead, stinging my stitches.
“Hey, it’s ok. You’re safe. I’m here.” Bradley stands up from the chair he has set up beside my bed and runs his broad, warm hand over my hair.
This is our last night in the hospital, after three days of observation I’ve been cleared to go home. I’ve been reassured six ways from Sunday that my baby is ok, yet I can’t shake these chilling nightmares. Eileen and her crazy eyes haunt my dreams. Except when I’m asleep my mind keeps playing tricks on me. In my dreams, I’m convinced that I can feel the cold metal of the switchblade on my belly, only to wake up to the cold monitor belt digging into me.
“Braddy? What’s wrong?” Brooklyn sits up on the pullout sofa and rubs her eyes. Her hair is strewn around in a little puffball of bed-head making her look like a little Einstein.
“I’m sorry, Brooklyn. I just had a bad dream.” I reassure her as Bradley goes to tuck her back in.
“No, I want up. I give Brianna a hug.” Brooklyn refuses to let him pull the sheets up around her. Shrugging in defeat, Bradley lifts her up and brings her to the side of the hospital bed.
“Brianna, it ok. I make it all better.” Brooklyn reaches out her adorable little arms to give me a hug, but Bradley holds her away from the side of the bed.
“No, Brooklyn. We have to be careful of the strap there,” he nods toward the baby monitor wrapped around my belly.
“Don’t worry, it’s ok. Besides, I could use a baby hug right now,” I smile. Two days ago this would’ve been impossible with all the tubes and machines attached to me. However, now I’ve been taken off the oxygen and IV, so the only thing tethered to me is the baby monitor. It’s annoying to try to sleep with it on, but I find the constant connection to the baby reassuring.
Bradley gently places Brooklyn on the mattress, and she snuggles in against me. I shimmy back until the cold metal guard rail is pressed up against my back and pull Brooklyn against my chest. “There’s room for one more in here.” I pat the sliver of space on the mattress.
“I don’t know,” Bradley’s eyes flicker over to the door.
“What are they going to do? Kick us out? Get in here.” I tease him.
Bradley looks at the mattress, then at the door, and gives in. How can he resist? As soon as the three of us, or should I say four of us, are squished together I feel a sense of peace wash over me that I haven’t felt in ages.
“Everything ok now?” Brooklyn asks me.
“Yes, hon. Everything is perfect.” I smile.
Brooklyn’s breathing grows deeper until I’m listening to little baby snores with a smile on my face. Is there anything cuter? “Brianna, I love you,” Bradley twists onto his side, so he’s facing me.
“I love you too,” I whisper. I watch his expression change under the moonlight. This hospital room, one of the luxury suites, is more like a hotel than any hospital I’ve ever seen. Complete with afternoon tea, and a view of the Hudson, if it weren’t for the nurses checking in on me and my monitor, I would forget where I was.
“This just feels right, doesn’t it? Our little family. Soon it will be a bit bigger,” he traces his fingertips over my belly, and I smile as the baby gives him a tiny kick. “We’ve got a fighter on the way. She’s gonna be a scrappy one, just like her Mama.” His eyes twinkle.
“She?” I raise my eyebrows at him. “What makes you so sure the baby is a girl?”
“Just a feeling I guess.” Bradley goes quiet, did he fall asleep too? “You know, the other day when Eileen attacked you…” His voice cracks. “I thought I lost you and the baby; I’ve never been more terrified in my life.”
“But everything is ok now,” I reassure him. “We got through it.”
“I know. It’s just, well, when I went on that walk with your Dad, I asked for his blessing.”
“His blessing?”
“Yes, I told him I would be proposing to you and asked for his blessing. He was really happy, I was walking on a cloud and then this happened. It shook me up, you know?”
He’s going to propose? My heart flutters in my chest with excitement as my face cracks out into a huge smile. I’m feeling a little shook up myself right now, but not because of Eileen. Bradley talked to my father about proposing to me!
“Originally I had this whole big Youtube style proposal in mind. I thought it should be larger than life, like a horse-drawn carriage ride and dancing. The whole nine. Now, I know it doesn’t matter. None of that matters. Not to me. The only things that matter are all lying in this bed. I love you so much, Brianna.” He rolls over and walks to the chair where his coat is lying and grabs a little box.
My heart leaps into my throat, I feel like I’m in a haze as he quickly slips back into the bed and opens the lid, revealing a stunning diamond.
“Oh my! Bradley, it’s gorgeous.”
“No, you’re gorgeous. This here, it’s just a ring. I had it designed for you because I wanted to get you something that was worthy of sitting on your finger, but I failed. There’s no ring in anyone’s imagination that is good enough for you. I hope this one will do.�
� I can hardly catch my breath as he pours out his heart. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable before, so open. “Brianna, I can’t imagine my life without you, and I hope you won’t make me. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” He tugs the ring free from the box as my hand shakes nervously in the air.
“Yes. Oh my God, yes! Of course.” He has to hold my hand steady so he can slide the ring down my finger. Even when he lets go, I keep my hand hovering in the air, just staring in disbelief. Bradley leans over Brooklyn and kisses me tenderly. It’s all so perfect; I can’t help but wonder if I’m about to wake up and find out that this is just another vivid dream.
“I love you.” He whispers as he lies back down against the pillow.
