“Is this about the money you stole?”
“I did more than steal money. I stole my father’s future. I stole my brothers’ faith in the goodness of mankind.” He put his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes. “I know God has forgiven me, but it’s hard to come to terms with the damage I’ve done.”
“What happened at the funeral?”
“James told me to leave. He doesn’t want to see me ever again. I can’t blame him. He’s justified for feeling the way he does. I just worry about what the bitterness is doing to him. In my time as a vicar, I’ve come across a couple of people who held onto past injustices, and they were so miserable. I keep thinking if I try harder to earn his forgiveness, things could be better for him, but I know I can’t make him forgive me. It’s something he has to do on his own. I just wish I could go back in time and do things differently.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. She’d never been in a position where she stole money from her family, nor had she ever been asked to forgive someone who had wronged her. All she could do was stand on the outside and watch what Julian was going through.
She rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you, Julian.”
“I love you, too.”
After a few minutes, he removed his boots then removed her slippers. He urged her to lie down next to him and held her in his arms.
They fell into silence, something she figured might be for the best. Perhaps he needed to be lost in his own thoughts. Besides, if he had anything he needed to say, he would. And she’d be right here to listen to him.
***
Didimus stepped into the drawing room of Lewis’ townhouse the next afternoon.
Surprised, Julian glanced at Lewis, Marcy, and Ophelia.
Lewis stood up from his chair. “You two are welcome to go to the den.” He went to the butler. “See that they are comfortable.”
The butler nodded, and since everyone was looking at him, Julian followed the butler and Didimus out of the room. He waited until he and his cousin were alone before he spoke.
“I’m sorry I didn’t send you word that I was back in London,” Julian said. “So much has been happening. I can hardly process it all.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Didimus assured him as Julian sat down. “We’re family. Actually, we’re more than family; we’re friends. You’re here for your brother’s funeral. You didn’t come to London for a festive occasion.”
No, no he didn’t. Julian’s shoulders slumped. “James wouldn’t let me attend the funeral.”
“He didn’t?”
Julian shook his head. “As soon as I arrived at the family mausoleum, he ordered me to leave. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
Didimus poured himself a glass of brandy then poured water into Julian’s glass. “I wasn’t welcome to the funeral, either. I would have paid my respects, but James warned me ahead of time not to come.”
“I don’t understand why he would refuse to let you go there. You paid back your portion of the money we stole. James should have forgiven you.”
Didimus handed him the water then sat across from him. “Well, he hasn’t forgiven me. I suppose it’s just as well I wasn’t welcome to the funeral. Jonah didn’t want to have anything to do with me. He wouldn’t have wanted me there. We might as well let the dead rest in peace.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Julian stared at the glass in his hand. No good ever came from forcing one’s desires upon another. “I hope James will come around to forgiving us.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s hurting. Our actions hurt my father, and that, in turn, hurt James. I don’t want James to spend the rest of his life trapped like that.”
Didimus shrugged then drank some brandy. “I don’t see why that should bother you. James is an adult. He can make his own decisions. If he wants to live like that, let him.”
Julian gave his cousin a good look. Didn’t it bother him, even a little bit, that James had been so strongly impacted by their selfish actions? No, it didn’t. Didimus held no remorse for what they’d done. Julian might attribute it to the fact that Didimus paid back the debt, but, deep down, Julian suspected Didimus didn’t feel guilty for stealing the money. He shifted in the chair.
“Why did you pay my brothers back?” Julian asked.
“Well, I couldn’t exactly have a good reputation in London if Jonah and James spread rumors about me,” Didimus replied when he finished drinking more brandy. “I wanted to marry Serena. Her father is a notable gentleman. I had to make sure he granted the marriage.”
Oh, so that was it. Didimus paid them back because it was expedient he did so. Julian forced himself to take a drink of the water. It was hard to believe that they’d been such good friends in the past. Now, it seemed like they didn’t have anything in common. Didimus hadn’t changed a single bit. And that was a shame.
Didimus leaned toward him. “You know what we should do? We should go out and play a few games. Just like we used to. That place you used to like is still in business.”
Julian shook his head. “I’d rather not.”
“Granted, it’s not a place you can take that lovely wife of yours, but you can always enjoy her when you return.”
“I don’t want to go back to places like that. I don’t like how they make me feel.”
“You don’t like how they make you feel?” Didimus chuckled. “A place can’t make you feel anything.”
“I mean that I don’t like what those places remind me of. I remember the kind of person I was when I frequented them. I don’t gamble anymore.”
“Surely, a couple of games aren’t going to do any harm.”
“I was never able to stop at just one game. I always had to see if the next would yield better results.”
“But you can control that. Give yourself a limit. I can help. Go in for five games, and when those games are done, we’ll leave.”
Julian’s stomach tensed. Why couldn’t Didimus just accept the fact that he’d said no? Why did he have to keep pushing him to do something he didn’t want to do?
After taking a moment to consider his response, Julian said, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m going to have to say no.” He dared a look at his cousin, whose eyebrows were raised in surprise.
“I didn’t realize you felt that strongly about avoiding those places, but now that I know you do, I’ll stop trying to get you to go. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You’re my cousin and a friend.” He paused. “Are you comfortable attending the theatre?”
Relaxing, Julian nodded. “Yes, I’m fine with seeing a play.”
“Wonderful. Why don’t we take our wives and go this evening? I heard the new play is a comedy. It might do us both some good to laugh for a while.”
Didimus was probably right. There was nothing Julian could do to change the situation with James. All he could do was wait and see if James would want to work things out with him. “A play sounds like a good idea.”
“Good!” Didimus finished the brandy and set the glass on the table next to him. “Serena and I will be by this evening.” He stood up and patted Julian on the shoulder. “Cheer up. Even if James is upset, it doesn’t mean you have to be. None of us can go back and change the past.”
Julian nodded and watched as Didimus left the den. It was probably for the best that he lived outside of London. Didimus was his cousin. He wanted to maintain a good relationship with him, even if they were no longer alike. But it was good he wouldn’t have to see him often. Bad company had a way of corrupting good habits. And Julian was determined to never go back to the person he once was.
He finished the water in his glass, picked up Didimus’ glass, and set them on the desk for the maid to pick up later. Then he went back to his wife and friends.
Chapter Fourteen
“We’re only going to the play,” Julian told Ophelia that evening as they waited in the drawing room. “After that, we’re coming back here
.”
That was good because Ophelia didn’t care much for Serena. She definitely didn’t want to be stuck alone in the room with her again. Julian had explained they would sit in a crowded room that had rows and rows of seats. Plenty of people would be there. She might not have to say more than a few words to Serena the entire evening.
“I hope you two have a wonderful time,” Marcy said as she and Lewis came into the drawing room.
“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Julian asked. “I’m sure Didimus and Serena wouldn’t mind.”
Marcy glanced at Lewis and shook her head. “We’re going to spend a quiet evening together. I think I might catch up on some reading.”
“A play is like a book in visual form,” Julian told Ophelia. “Instead of reading it, you get to see everything acted out.”
“Yes, and that can be fun,” Lewis said. “It’ll be good for you to get a chance to see one,” he told Ophelia. “Now you’ll know what we’re talking about when we mention the theatre.”
“And maybe next time you’re here, we can go to a ball,” Marcy added. “Lewis, Julian, and I can help you learn the steps to the dances.”
“You’d probably like going to a ball,” Julian told Ophelia. “I always enjoyed them. They’re a great way to relax and have a good time. Dancing is only a part of it. You can spend time talking to friends, too.”
Ophelia nodded as she slipped her hands into the pockets of her cloak. Sometimes she missed the red one that she’d had. It had been her mother’s, and it’d been the only thing she’d taken from her past the night she fled from Lord Wolfe. But it was destroyed beyond repair. She’d ended up cutting portions of it that were salvageable. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do with those portions yet, but she’d think of something.
The footman opened the door, and she let Julian escort her to the carriage.
“It’s nice of Marcy and Lewis to let us borrow their carriage,” she said.
“It is.” He offered her a wry grin. “They probably feel sorry for me since I own one that’s in miserable shape.”
She didn’t mind his carriage. Yes, it had a couple of tears in the seat, its outward condition showed years of neglect, and it wasn’t as smooth as this one, but she’d come to equate it with him. And anything to do with him was wonderful.
The footman opened the door. Julian waved for her to go in first, so she did. He followed and was soon settled next to her. The footman closed the door, and she slipped her arm around Julian’s.
“I’m glad you’re my husband,” she said.
He turned his gaze to her. “What brought this on?”
She shrugged. “After everything you’ve been going through, I thought you might like to know how much you mean to me.”
With a smile, he cupped the side of her face and gave her a kiss. “Thank you. I’ll never tire of hearing it.” He brushed his thumb along her cheek then put his hand down. “This probably sounds silly, but I like who I am when I’m with you. A parishioner once told me that a wife does a young man a lot of good. He said the right one will make him a better person. You do that for me.”
She squeezed his arm. “I like who I am with you, too. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
The carriage moved forward, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Parts of the evening were bound to be uncomfortable since Serena would be there, but she could manage through it because he was with her. She snuggled up to him for the rest of the way to the theatre.
When Julian escorted her into the theatre, she couldn’t help but think that it was larger than she’d expected. And despite how large it was, it seemed small with all the people coming to attend the play. Even with the number of people she’d come across while walking through London, she hadn’t felt as if she was pressed in from all sides. She had no idea the theatre was such a popular place. If a lot of people came here for an evening’s entertainment, she could only imagine how many went to the balls. From what Marcy had told her, more people went to balls than they went to the theatre. But as she scanned the crowd around her, she doubted anything could be more popular than this.
She inched closer to Julian.
“I take it you’re not used to a lot of people in one room at a time,” Julian said.
“No, I’m not.” She didn’t want to tell him that up to now she’d never been to a public event. She hadn’t realized just how isolated her world had been until this moment. There was so much she hadn’t experienced.
“I’m glad you two could make it,” a familiar voice called out among the crowd.
She turned toward Didimus, noting right away that Serena had a bored expression on her face. Ophelia’s eyebrows furrowed. Was Serena bored because plays weren’t as entertaining as her husband made them out to be, or was Serena bored because she had to spend an evening with her and Julian?
“What do you think?” Didimus asked Julian. “Doesn’t this bring back old memories?”
Julian nodded then looked at Ophelia. “We used to come to the theatre a lot.”
“Yes, it was one of the few places we didn’t get into any trouble,” Didimus added in a lower voice. He winked and then said in a louder voice, “I heard this particular play is exceptional. A few people were so impressed with it that they’ve come here to see it again.”
“That’s good,” Julian replied. “Ophelia’s never seen a play before. Her first one shouldn’t put her to sleep.”
Didimus laughed. “Your husband has a splendid sense of humor, but then, that’s why we always got along so well. Come. I’ll lead the way to our seats.”
Keeping a firm hold onto Julian, Ophelia followed Didimus and Serena to the seats. She was greatly relieved when she noticed that she didn’t have to sit next to Serena. She had worried the gentlemen would make her and Serena sit between them, but, as it turned out, Didimus and Julian sat next to each other. The setup gave her the freedom to pretend Serena wasn’t even there. She just might enjoy the evening after all.
Before long, everyone had filtered into the room and found their seats. The entire place was packed. Ophelia doubted there was a spare seat anywhere. Her seat happened to be right next to the aisle, giving her the ability to move more easily than she would have if she’d been sitting between two people. She took a deep breath and released it. Now that people were no longer milling about, it was easier to relax.
The first half of the play passed quickly. As Julian had said, watching a play wasn’t all that different from reading a book. And, as Didimus had promised, the play was entertaining. It was so entertaining, in fact, that she forgot she was sitting in a theatre until the curtains closed for the intermission.
Didimus turned to Julian and said something she couldn’t make out above the sudden burst of noise from the others in the large room. Julian turned to her and asked if she wanted to get something to drink or take care of personal matters. Since she was fine, she told him she preferred to stay seated. He and Didimus got up and left. She had hoped Serena would go with them, but Serena stayed seated, too.
For a moment, she worried she’d be forced to make small talk with Serena, but as it turned out, Serena started talking to two ladies in front of her. That was just as well. She didn’t mind if Serena ignored her. It was better than Serena putting on a pretense of liking her when she didn’t.
Ophelia sat in silence as others around her engaged in conversations. She noticed some lettering on the walls, and she was happy to note that she recognized most of them. She couldn’t tell what words they made, but at least letters no longer seemed foreign to her. Perhaps the next time she came here, she’d be able to read them.
When she was done examining the letters, she let her mind drift off to nothing in particular. A couple of minutes passed before she became aware of an unfamiliar unease that was winding its way through the back of her mind. She glanced around the room. She couldn’t be sure, but it felt as if someone was watching her.
Around her, people were talking and laugh
ing. No one even seemed to be aware she was there.
But someone is aware you’re here.
She inwardly shivered and crossed her arms in a protective gesture. She couldn’t tell who that person was, not with all the people in the room. How could the person even notice her when there were so many around them? Was it because she was sitting next to the aisle? Did that make her easier to spot in a crowd?
Someone put a hand on her shoulder, and her head snapped up. It was Julian. At once, she felt better. She was no longer all by herself in the crowded room.
He followed Didimus into the row and sat beside her. “The play will resume in a minute. I hope we weren’t gone for too long.”
Willing the sensation that someone was still watching her aside, she chuckled. “No, it wasn’t too long.” She put her arm around his. “I’m glad you’re back.”
He smiled. “I missed you, too.”
Soon, the play picked back up where it left off, and she found herself lost in it once more.
***
A week later, Ophelia and Julian were back at the cottage. She was writing the letter R on the parchment in front of her. Julian had warned her that progress would seem slow, and he’d been right. Sometimes it was hard not to get impatient. She had a difficult time making some of the letters legible when she wrote them. Granted, she’d had plenty of practice drawing things, but writing letters was a lot different from drawing shapes. She had to employ surprising concentration to get the letters to look the way they were supposed to, and she had to do it for printing and cursive. “You might as well learn how to write in cursive while we’re at it,” Julian had told her.
When she finished the last R on the piece of paper, she turned to him. He was sitting next to her at the desk, but he was preparing his next sermon rather than watching her write each letter, something that was for the best since it would probably bore him. It was boring her, and she was the one doing it.
The Wedding Pact (Marriage by Fairytale Book 3) Page 14
